How do I keep the chain from falling off my bike all the time?

How do I keep the chain from falling off my bike all the time?

start riding a scooter tbh

replace chain (and chainrings if necessary)

adjust chain tension by moving the back wheel forward or back. loosen the nuts holding the back wheel in place and pull the wheel back some, then re-tighten the nuts to fasten the wheel securely. it's best to remove the chain when doing this procedure to prevent chain tension from skewing the wheel out of alignment.

If it's a single speed slid the wheel back and tighten the non-drive side first while pulling it to tension, then push the wheel over and try to center it but if it's too tight you won't be able to and tighten the drive side, then loosen the non-drive side again and recenter the wheel (this assumes it's straight, but i'm guessing your's is warped as fuck too). You can also buy a small spring loaded tensioner bar with a small pulley for single-speeds.

On a multi-speed if you're measuring a new chain for the first-time, loop the chain through the deraileurs on the largest gear on the front and back and pull the chain as tight as possible, then use a chain breaker to shorten the chain to the nearest link beyond the minimum length needed. Use the two screens, marked L and H to adjust the deraileur's range of movement, this will stop the chain from falling to the inside or outside of the gears while shifting if you do it right.

this but make sure your gear shifter thingy isn't way off where it should be and encouraging your chain to fall off
and avoid huge bumps probably yeah

As an experienced biker, i am guessing you are gearing down while going uphill, which usually causes the chain to jump off. If you are seeing an upward slope coming up, try to gear down before it.

Take it off the nigger first, dumbass.

This. Also properly lubricate the chain

poor little cuck