So let me get this straight.. For some reason, James Franco makes a fucking virus that makes Monkies smart, and then a bunch of monkeys escape.. and then 10 years later, most of humanity is fucking dead. So dead, in fact, that a couple hundred apes pose a significant threat to the survival of humanity… and despite having military vehicles and munitions, humanity still eventually loses to a bunch of monkies.. Not that they had any fucking chance of survival in the first place because of the deadly smart money virus that James Franco made.
I fucking hate living in the era of edgy pseudo-intellectual reboots.
Ryder Butler
At least alzheimer in the whole world was cured that day.
Aaron Hall
The original was clever with the whole slow reveal time loop idea despite the declining quality of the series. Shame they botched it at the ass end with the unnecessary happy twist. I'll probably never watch the new ones. There's a majesty to the man in gorilla suit on horseback with rifle that shall never be captured again.
Tyler Bennett
HONOR AND GLORY
Colton Mitchell
I can only see BLM everytime I see the new shit.
Xavier Robinson
This was before BLM though
Ayden Flores
...
Michael Mitchell
...
Jack Wood
I know you haven't watched the original movies. May the sun gods piss in your eyes.
Justin James
I enjoyed Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and I'm going to watch this new one as well. Not paying for it, before people chimp out, pardon the pun, but I'm going to watch it.
Samuel Ortiz
Not even kidding, and they were so into the movie it was bananas or should I say watermelons
Nolan Ramirez
Its time to stop pretending we don't know what these movies are about. The virus making the apes intelligent is a metaphor for emancipation.
All of the movies are about the ultimate consequences of the liberal belief system and how it will ultimately lead the human race to ruin.
Ryder James
lets be honest here planet of the apes is a shitty idea
Blake Myers
I think that a lot of people here hate the Apes movies just for being popular.
Luis Murphy
I hate it because it's a boring as fuck movie with a retarded premise. The originals were already campy enough, coating them in edge doesn't make them any better.
Jack Thomas
This
They arent popular the new ones are eaten up as summer blockbusters like any other shit not because its good.
Landon Gray
pity emancipation didn't increase the 'apes' intelligence.
James Myers
wrong
Carter Moore
That's what your mother said when she shat you out of her vagina.
Ian Murphy
wasn't this because the smart monkey virus also makes humans cough blood and die? still fucking retarded though
Jaxon Martin
Yeah its weird. Wasn't the ape future like thousands of years into the future from our own?
Christopher Bennett
And much like niggers, a thousand years from now they're still chucking spears at each other.
The film might as well be the Idiocracy of race realism.
John Evans
The monkeys didn't kill humanity, the virus did.
Robert Gutierrez
Koba did nothing wrong.
Jonathan Gray
I've watched the first, second, and last one, Planet, Beneath, and Battle. First one was (literally) gay, there was a lot of man ass and not a single tits. Second one was really cheesy, I prefer the Omega Man. Planet of The Apes was always overrated.
At least the Battle broke the time loop though, that's what I like about it.
James Gonzalez
I don't get how in the trailers they have military tanker vehicles rushing into a gun fight… What? And they also somehow learn how to use military apache helicopters despite them not being flown for 10 years and this virus made them smarter than humans? What?!
I fucking hate this series.
Elijah Evans
I'm watching it only for monkeys with guns
Dylan Edwards
...
Jonathan Gonzalez
Still better than watching a movie with niggers in it.
Julian Anderson
Was anyone else bothered by the bit in the trailer where the guy shines the green laser right next to his eye? It must have been cgi because I swear that shit can blind you
This, both the first and second were really good. The first was just a cool monkey flick and the second was good mostly from the Koba vs. Blue Eyes rivalry and how they differed in their attitudes toward humans. The scenes at the human settlement were boring as fuck though in my opinion. Third one I don't have high hopes for as it looks to be 75% action, but all the tacticool shit might save it.
Leo King
top fucking kek
Elijah James
Why are u blaming James Franco for making the virus blame the guy who got exposed to the virus in the first place.
Jonathan Edwards
The new ones are fucking horrible, tbh. The marky mark one from 15 years or so ago was a great movie. An absolute classic that did the original justice and leaves you scratching your head trying to figure what in the hell they were thinking with the recent ones. Kids seeing the new ones first have had a great series of movies destroyed for them.
Samuel Miller
I was more bothered by the trained soldier infiltrating monkey territory losing his shit and being completely unable to land a single shot on one monkey running in a straight line at him.
Benjamin Flores
Happy twist? I think we can watch the first four of the classic ones and I see no happy twist, was that on the last one?
Juan Flores
I don't know if you're being ironic, but I always thought the Burton movie was actually okay. I also like the new ones though.
Jason Howard
Yeah, won't spoil it but the last movie is a low budget nosedive. It still has some redeeming qualities but it's probably the worst of the series. The ending will piss you off. At least though they completed the circle.
Lincoln Ramirez
I watched it long ago and forgot about it.
Jaxon Collins
So what are the odds that BLM and Antifa types will unironically gather around this new Apes movie as a symbol of violent, righteous revolution against Whitey?