Sell me on Loonix, Holla Forums

you are bad and you should feel bad

don't do it OP it's a giant meme

You have no arguments and aren't afraid to show it.

Say what you will about those boards and their shit taste, but most of them are filled with fans and enthusiasts of what they're arguing about and would therefore go for the things that cater to enthusiasts, not first-timers.

TempleOS.
Seriously though, Debian is good, just learn your terminal commands. Make sure you back up your hard drive btw, you will have an incident involving misuse of rm -rf. PDF related, slightly outdated, but gud enough.

Install Gentoo

as other have said start w/ ubuntu. ubuntu is nigger core and literally translates to "electric nigger" from swahili. just know that you are a nigger for using ubuntu and let that be your motivation to learn as much as you can so that you can leave the ubuntu ghetto and graduate to a 1337 distro like gentoo.

the biggest reason I recommend ubuntu to you is that there's a ton of resources for faggot noobs so it will be easy to resolve any issues you come across.

here's a breakdown for you OP:

LinuxBBQ
Arch linux
Sabayon

(You are here)
Ubuntu flavors
openSUSE
Calculate Linux
Manjaro

Crunchbang
Slackware

Gentoo
Linux from Scratch

...

kys m8

You forgot sexy tier

kill urself lennart

Do as the cool kids and install Trisquel on a librebooted Thinkpad.

my setup is pretty ghetto like this too not gonna lie

Being a fucking faggot is frowned "up on" here, too, but that didn't stop you. So just install Ubuntu.

Don't even bother with Ubuntu or any of the intro distros. Why? You'll never actually migrate unless you already have an idea of what you're doing, which you're never going to get trying to learn about Linux by using some form of it that is meant to be equivalent to Windows. It's always going to come up short and be a hassle when you want to try and do any work or have any fun.

Your best bet if you want to learn is to actually try and learn and start by exploring--not with themes and icons like you'll be relegated to with Ubuntu, but with the essentials that "give any distro legs to stand on". So stop kidding yourself with "I don't feel like it" rationalizations. This is a symptom of withdraw from the crack of being controlled rather than learning to be in control. Therefore Arch, Gentoo, or LFS are your only real options.

It's not going to take "forever". If you are comfortable enough to carry out rudimentary commands with the shell (using a terminal), you can fucking install Arch. Watch a couple of videos of some faggots installing it on jewtube, read some of their fucking horrendous documentation on the Arch wiki, and start messing around. Quit being a faggot, nigger slave.

On second thought, the fact that you even made a thread like this is testament that you'll probably never even "get around" to even installing Ubuntu, much less actually learning anything that matters. You seriously started a thread asking which Linux distro you should install, while mentioning that you're "too lazy to set it up" (re Gentoo). GTFO.

Just keep being a hard and software consumer slave, and telling yourself you're smart and know tech. Faggot.

Now, go end yourself. I tried installing Ubuntu but the shitty SSD I have in my secondary caddy seems to be broken or something.

I actually learned Linux from scratch by installing Gentoo, and later became a professional Unix admin. I tried to install it, and fucked it up somehow, and gave up for a bit, then set up a saturday where I could spend the entire day just retrying installing it until I got it right. I didn't even know any POSIX shell at all, so I was mostly literally copying and pasting commands from the handbook. The first try, I rebooted and got nothing. The second, I rebooted, and it came up, but the filesystem was fucked up. The third try, I got it up right, but I couldn't figure out how to get a display manager working, so I just used startx for everything I needed, which sort of worked. I used the system for a month or so, before realizing that I'd fucked up my use flags hard, and a reinstall would be easier than fixing it and rebuilding everything, so I did a full reinstall, and ran off that. I'm still on that install 5 years later, even though it's essentially a completely different computer, only with the same motherboard. I know how to use a Display Manager now, but I prefer to use startx so that I can make changes before launching X if I ever want to (though I haven't had to in a few years, it feels good to have it available), and it's easier to do minor changes without having to launch a graphical desktop. Through those installs and through general system maintenance, I learned more about Linux and Unix faster than I could have imagined. I'm still only really comfortable using a command line shell rather than a file manager, as once you get used to the shell, file managers feel clunky, inflexible, and slow. I went from nothing to installing Gentoo, and anybody dedicated enough could do the same.

I'm not saying anybody else should do it (I was already a programmer when I started), just that anybody else could do it. I'm saying that "install Gentoo" is actually a viable way to learn Linux and will teach you really quickly if you're comfortable with fucking up a bunch of times on the way. It's a meme, but you can do it. You can do a BSD or something if you'd rather, but you're more likely to have better hardware support on a Linux machine.
I don't know if I'd recommend Gentoo to a non-programmer. You don't need to program to use it, but it will help to understanding configuration files and debugging common issues if you ever have them.

This people will never learn.

Install TrueOS

GNU coreutils didn't invent a Unix or Unix-like command line. They're great utilities, but they didn't invent their interface, and they are not the only POSIX userspace that exists for Linux.

It seems to me like you need to learn a bit.

Please show me where in the POSIX standard the -h option of ls is specified, or cp's and mv's -u and -v, for a start. Unix ⊂ GNU.

Look user, most distros are the same shit with a different default desktop and a different package manager. Most of them have minimal installs and a lot of them even rolling and non rolling releases (Like Debian). The amount of options you have will be the same no matter what you choose, because almost everything is interchangeable by packages.
More power or variety may come to you if you use distros that are actually different from the rest: Slackware, Gentoo, Alpine, NixOS, LFS and Gobo are some of them. But you will only make good use or enjoy them if you actually know about your system, so do not install them yet.
I personally use Debian (Sid specifically, which is the full rolling release, meaning we get updates as they go), but Ubuntu works just fine.

You've got me there. I didn't realize that you were responding to the PDF. Brain lapse on my part.

Linux has no coreutils so it is not good to refer to a "Linux command line" that doesn't exist. If you're using Linux as part of a Unix system, then chances are, you're running the GNU OS together with Linux.

oh god no

Do you want your tool to work against you and for megacorps that made it, or do you want your tool to bend to your will? That's the choice between Windows/macOS on the one hand and GNU/Linux on the other.

Debian is a great universal distro but for that reason it could potentially require some configuring here and there, although if you install a desktop environment through their installer it shouldn't be much work. However the installer itself requires some minimal practical knowledge of GNU/Linux.
I'd recommend Linux Mint for beginners and lazy users alike. It will immediately make sense and be very nice to use because they try to polish traditional use patterns instead of inventing new paradigms.

Look pal, most board recommendations don't hover around "hard to get into" content like we're hipster scum that love recommending whatever is the most arcane bullshit to people. We recommend based on what is good and gets the job done. If someone is new we don't recommend that they install Slackware either unless they are nostalgic for DOS or eager to start tinkering with command line.

How is devuan doing these days? Apparently it just had its 1.0 release last month.

Anything without systemd. Crunchbang 11 is easy but doesn't hold your bitch hand after you install it.

Use whatever works for you. You can worry about details when you have a reason to actually worry about them.

underrated post

though I recommend xubuntu (ubuntu with a cleaner default environment)

Don't install linux.

I am a professional linux systems engineer and I administer thousands of linux systems. My workstation pc which I use for work is an iMac. Installing linux on desktop systems is for people with both autism and no job.

Installing *BSD on desktop systems is for ...?

And I'm an 8 foot tall aryan god with a 3 foot cock.

That's a big cock.

Install Trisquel GNU/Linux