On The Bus

Good day, Sir. May I see your ticket please?

I already showed it to you yesterday!

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Sir, calm down, this is a routine inspection. Now may I please see your bus ticket?

you most certainly may NOT. can you kindly call your supervisor, i'd like to file a complaint against you…where's your name badge, good sir?

where were these pictures taken?

Is this corporate thug impeding on your God given right to travel, sir?

...

Very well, Sir. Kindly step off the bus with me and we'll sort this out while the other passengers continue on their way.

Name Badge: Basil Collyflower Cricketham - Ticket Inspector

oh thank God you're here, govana'. this man right here is rejecting me my rights as a citizen of this fine city of yours. please take this in your hands, sir.

You have to authority to impede on this man's right to travel. He did not create any joinders with you and is full within his legal rights to travel freely. If you force him off the bus by force, you will be taken on court. This is on recording, "officer" of the (corporate) "law".

That's perfect, thank you and have a nice journey.

Gentlemen, please step outside of the vehicle if you have not purchased a ticket. Or we will be forced to contact the police.

how dare you, officer. you will regret this. i know people

How about I give you a one way ticket straight to hell?!

BLAM BLAM BLAM!!

I'M 67 YEARS OLD, I AINT SCARED OF YOU!!!

OFFICER DOWN!! Attention all units we got two suspects, at least one of them armed, and 6 civilians that have been taken hostage

you're pulling numbers out of your ass. how in the hell hired you

IF ANYONE MOVES OR MY HEART BEAT STOPS, THE BOMBS GO OFF!!!

Alright, calm down, okay? This is John Riviera, I come from a low-income family and I have a difficult relationship with my estranged daughter due to the fact that I work too much which is also why my wife left me.

What are your demands?

Just don't do anything rash. What are your demands?

any last words, motherfucker?

Natural selection.

HOW BOUT I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YO ASS?

...

Dont try to ruin my hostage situation.
This is MY HOSTAGE SITUATION

Sir, we have the entire area surrounded. Don't do anything rash.


Wait - You guys aren't together?

All units; we have TWO SEPARATE hostage situations on the very same bus. Both suspects are armed and dangerous; we have reason to believe a bomb is on board of the bus

Dude looks like the fat conductor with his rosy cheeks lmao

Have some respect, this man has just died at the hands of a violent bus fare dodger!

MY DEMANDS ARE 3 OPPAI LOLI GIRLFRIENDS RIGHT NOW!!! OR THIS BOMB GOES OFF!!! YOU HAVE 30 MINS. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT THE OTHER GUY WANTS!

i will fuck you up, pig. drop your walkie talkie thing RIGHT FUCKING NOW

fuck off. this is my hostage. i started this and i will end it right here right now. fuck outta my way

...

Did someone say diversity custody program? ALLAHU ACKHHBARRR

Stop yourself
I will get my oppai lolis.
NO MATTER WHAT!!!
YOU SHOOT ME AND EVERYONE DIES!!

Alright, we have 30 minutes to take these guys out. Riviera, keep them occupied while we try to get a clear shot.


Hey man, John here, remember me? We hear your request and are ON IT right now. How about you let a couple hostages go, eh? As a token of good will?


Alright, alright, I dropped the walkie-talkie!


OH FOR FUCKS' SAKE

Bring it, faggot.

okay okay faggot. just calm down. i'll get you your oppai lolicons. just promise me you'll shut the fuck up and won't let your prisoners escape.

now drop your weapon then kick it to me, or i'll let this diversity inspector give the bomber a run for his money.

Alright we're sending in our elite special officer Dylan.

HAI GUIZE PLS DON'T FITE

Stupid tea cops. Didnt notice me escape? Well looks like your sniper team got disabled.
Pew Pew

Dont worry, I got my brothers taking out the cops already.

Sir, I'm over 300 metres away from you. How can I possibly kick it to you?

Suspect is likely high on drugs; prepare for takedown, Special officer Dylan!

All units; two of the bomber's accomplices have been killed in an attempt to take down our elite swat teams. The main perpetrator is still at large; this is now a manhunt!

Congratulations

I'VE HAD IT
THIS IS MY GOD DAMNED BUS AND IF I DON'T MAKE IT ON TIME I WILL LOSE MY JOB AND MY WIFE WILL LEAVE ME

THIS BUS IS ON A HIGHWAY TO HELL FUCKERS. BETTER STRAP IN.

you wanna know how you'll kick it back to me? here, i'll send you the foot of one of the hostages, it should do the kicking for you, faggot. 5 minutes or i'll let the diversity fireworks start. put your fucking weapons and radios on the ground right now. playing naughty will only have consequences on you, and on the hostages.

Phew.

All units; all 5 terrorists have been eliminated. Another job well done, boys. I'm proud of ya. One of the terrorists even congratulated us with his last words! A round of applause everyone!

Heh, stupid pigs, nothing personall.
BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alhamdulillah! Bow to your prophet! What are you doing in this infidel land, kehba? Did Allah not order you to wage war in the Holy Lands?!! Inch'allah, return to Jerusalem and take it from the infidel Jews!

Hah. Good one, Jones. Typical of good ol' Jones to be always pulling these types of pranks on us after work hours. Now come on, we're going to the pub.

my neck got snapped in

Yeah well I thought everyone had died in which made no sense to me since bomb user had escaped, and w-

this thread confused me

surprise surprise. hands in the air, nigger. you'll get what's been a long time coming for you. beg for mercy, and i might spare you

I was still on the bus, but my brother pretended to be a seal team british cop and killed those snipers.

...

Please sir, please just

KILL ME. I BEG YOU PLEASE KILL ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST DO IT