Life hasn't been any good for me and I'm burned out on trying to carve out my own niche in this world. The problems are too many and I'm just not dealing with all this crap. My parents pretty well fucked my life and it's too late now for me to get back on my feet and try to "save the white race" or do anything worthwhile. I have some injuries that make me a burden and disfigure my face a bit (just enough that nobody will really feel comfortable around me or feel attracted to me). I want to exit this world and this life.
I also would like to know where I can buy guns and ammunition on the deepnet. If anyone has an onion link that would be great. I need it to kill myself and I can't get a gun legally. There was one guy I met up with before and discussed stuff with and he was going to get me a gun but I haven't heard back from him again in a long time and he's not bothering to check or answer the encrypted emails I send him.
I just need to determine when is the apex of my life. What age does it come? Where does the decline set in?
I want to stick it out until this apex point where I know that life isn't going to get any better than that moment and end it then.
Gabriel Allen
What injuries?
Chase Barnes
datamine entrapment honeypot b8 thread
Charles Moore
The apex happens when you are balanced OP.
Tyler Parker
Injuries to my jaw.
Christian Diaz
That doesn't really tell me when biologically I will be at my apex. There is clearly a moment of peek capacity, a moment where things just start to fall apart. I think for a woman it's like 25. What is it for a man?
Ian Myers
It isnt a matter of biologically apexing, that isnt when you decline.
"Man makes plans, God laughs"
you might as well wave your dick in the wind
Jacob James
am 40. i felt my best at 25 also
Oliver Hall
you are trying to put a specific number on an individual, sure maybe its 25, or maybe its 40, that is a hell of a time difference. Dont limit yourself. push yourself.
Jaxson Clark
OKay so im curious, op how did your parents fuck your life?
Adrian Peterson
I got scammed out of $300 today btw so it's making me feel extra shit.
I don't know what to do that is better than suicide.
Did you become lazy or something though and that maybe ruined you or have you maintained much the same lifestyle, active and fit and whatever, but started to decline after 25 anyways?
Dylan Perez
no, i didn't become lazy. just, in hindsight, that was my peak physical performance and peak mental ability. i didn't become a lazy fuck until about 3 years ago
Aaron Carter
300$ is fucking pebbles dude, sure it can make or break the bank, but right now im seeing a dependance of materialism. dude, fuck come on, were surrounded by nothingess, were so barley in reality less than 2% physical and your stressing about 300$ thinking about killing yourself, hell no that not what this shit is about, your going to get burned, your going to burn, and your going to heal. live your god damn life as well a you bloody can
Ryan Bell
checked and correct. just because 25 is where the peak efficiency is, doesn't mean life is over. some of my best experiences didn't happen until i was in my 30's.
Luis Lopez
Fuck you faggot it's not about the $300 I shouldn't have even brought it up and btw I had to earn it all under the counter making $50 a day and it took me 6 days to make that all spread out over about a month as I can barely find any employment. I've also in the past lost $7,000. Fuck you for thinking it's about the money. There are a LOT of reasons and the biggest one is no matter how I look at it, the future is completely fucking bleak and shit for me, as has been my whole life. I would induce amnesia to wipe out all my memories if I could do the kind of amnesia where you retain skills but have no context anymore as to how you learned it. I hate my life and don't have anything worth holding onto.
The less I say about specific problems the better.
My life is shit and if I get to the peak and it's still shit then I know it's the best life has to offer for me.
Jordan Campbell
Women are shit. Marriage is shit. My body is shit. My parents are shit. My ability to enjoy life is null. My society is shit. I am shit and project my shitness onto others. I want to get a gun and end it all.
Ayden Carter
so was mine, user. 25+ is when i started really improving. 25 is peak efficiency, peak performance. that's when the smallest input affects the greatest change. it doesn't mean that's when everything starts to suck
Andrew Murphy
I've been wanting to end my life since I was a Holla Forumstard and just 15 years old. It's been 9 long years of suffering.
Brayden Hughes
i'm not here to talk you out of anything. i'm just adding my perspective to help make an informed decision
Charles Edwards
if you feel like you haven't gotten to your peak yet than you haven't good experiences will come man, be it in your 40s or even heck 50s life is long man, and its only once see what happens
Aaron Smith
I don't want to be a kissless, loveless, homeless, 30 year old virgin. That's what it looks like my life is going to be.
Christopher Rogers
who the fuck cares if you are? only yourself that's who, and that the only person who will know, well apart from the homeless part
Josiah Lee
dont be obscured by hardship. you need to pursue what interests you, you dont need money a home or even friends. but if you do what you are passionate about you might get all of those.
I recomend travelling, it can be done really cheaply
Lincoln Bailey
good luck op
Thomas Jenkins
Kek no it's 13-15
Christopher Fisher
I fucking hate travelling. Fuck you.
I don't enjoy life. Ever. I get nothing out of anything. Going to keep checking this thread for some legit advice on getting a gun illegally so I can end this all.
Brandon Cooper
40 is called "over the hill" because it's all downhill from there
so 40 is the apex
Luis Cox
The apex is that "golden hour" where you feel so awesome the last thing on your mind is dying. And if it is there, it's just a fuzzy abstraction. There is no "age" or specific time for the apex. It's different for everyone. Too bad you're not stronger, OP. Your disfigurement does not preclude you from true friendships, nor from sexual intimacy. You set those limitations yourself. Protip: The most subtle act is to put another before yourself. When's the last time you really stopped wallowing in your own shit and did something for someone else. It's a big ball of suffering out there mang. Are you even able to put yourself aside and help others?
Lucas Perry
post pics of face plz
Matthew Carter
Have you tried drugs and play vidya while on said drugs?
