The Dark Tower trailer

mmmmm the dark tower mmmmmm is it veiny with a purple head?

Man, nigger casting aside, this looks like the most boring and generic piece of shit ever. Are the books like that too? Everyone talks like it is the greatest shit ever.

that's what I call my dick

Calling it now. Sony race-changed Roland so they could use the same marketing tactic they used to promote fembusters. If you think the movie looks like shit (which it does) they they're gonna scream DAS RACIS instead of DAS MISOGYNIS. They're going to try to race-guilt everyone into seeing the movie because they apparently can't just make a good movie for some reason.

I agree. I also have a suspicion that Sony will only retain Peter Parker through the MCU run, and then eventually kill him off in favor of Miles.

No they are shit
The only good stephen king book was IT and that's because he was high as fuck when he wrote it

Gotta protect that big dark tower, goy, be sure to bring your girlfriend to see this film, she'll love the lead.

He was high as fuck on pain pills when he wrote Duma Key as well, but it wasn't great.

The books had the worst goddamn ending ever.
OH HEY, TIME FOR AN OL TIME LOOP DE LOOP! ROLAND, WELCOME BACK TO BOOK 1! Fucking trash, King was only good when he was high as a kite.

Just like real life tbh

More like the BLACKED tower.

this means that roland's father will be cucked by a white devil. that's new.

Why do people say Dark Tower are his best books? Looks like a lazy uninspired attempt at Young Adult + Western.

DARKED

i read the first book and the end is the most pretentious shit i ever read. king is a fucking hack

Now did it hit the fucking reset button but it's turned him black. BTW this movie's supposed to be the cycle immediately after the last book ended. This thing has no fucking hope.

I agree with every part of that except for what said. But generally Steven King is like Rowling for boomers, and the only young people who like his stuff are reddit cucks who go on about how the dark tower is soooo deeeeep duuuuude

But I will actually avoid this because of the nigger.

Oh me too user. Me too.

Her father was right: she did become a slut

Dumb. No thanks

I don't care if Elba is a good actor. It's just blackcasting by some fucking leftists who'd rather appropriate instead of delivering a good quality movie that is nicely based on the books. Also the general thing looks utterly crap.

What do you expect tho? The director they finally picked (who was probably more mouldable) is a Dane and the script was entirely reworked by Hollywood regulars Akiva Goldsman and Jeff Pinkner.

Fucking bastards.

You guys are slowing down.

Fuck you Elba, you big lumbering fuck, go back to making shitty music.

He isn't, Luther is the only thing he's even bearable in.

FUCK YOU LAD

"That shitty accent''? Wha?

Ah shit.

Every accent he does is shit.

I play this song while imagining my wife getting BLACKED.

Who cares.

the first book is the best one (the original, not the revised one) and would make for a surreal, dark as fuck standalone movie. too bad it'll never happen.

you mean liberals, not leftists.

it's like they're not even trying.

It's been years since I've read it but I'm pretty sure nobody even mentioned protecting or destroying the tower; Wasn't Roland's goal to journey to the tower? And why would Martin want to destroy it when it was decaying itself anyway?

It looks like Wild Wild West.

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god idris elba is so hot

I want him to fuck my wife and daugther

the dark tower is his benis

Your fucking standups suck. Everyone is tired of your self-deprecating humor, Louis.

It's been a long time for me as well and I'm sure there wasn't such a idea of protecting and destroying the tower? It was always just a destination for Roland. Unless that revision changes it drastically.

The trailer feels like that Goosebumps movies a while back. Sure, there are some elements related to the books but it sure ain't going to be presented faithfully in the movie and combined with hollywood stock material. I don't mind Idris Elba but this seem like they turned it into a generic kids/ action movie (Last Action Hero like someone mentioned earlier) with world hopping. Is this just The Gunslinger because it feels like they combined or condensed a lot of stuff into this movie.

I'm definitely not seeing any themes being dealt with from that trailer alone. Looks like its going to be a disaster that not even a Stephen King cameo could help fix.

why even do the first one when there is no way they'll do the rest. iirc the ending for the first one was pretty low energy too (it was him sitting around a campfire with the bad guy or something)

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Why is Sony so fucking awful at marketing? Are they just retarded?

maybe she became a slut because her father molested her

I actually think it looks good. I like isis elbow and alrightalrightalright, and even if this is clear cut diversity pandering, they at least went with someone with some actual ability.

1000 hours in ms paint.

that's an insult to Wild Wild West

I never read the books.. Was the plot actually that a kid from Earth went to magicgunland and has to save the world from Satan?

Kinda, the kid was pushed in front of a car by matts character in new york, you find this out later, and ended up in the wicky wild wild west at a way station, then dashauns comes along and they have a shoot out on a train with orcs in a mountain, then it all goes fucking bonkers.

No. I liked the first 2 books, which were written about years before the rest of the series. King started off with an interesting story then abandoned it. Then he got hit by a car and finished it off in a rush.

The kid dies in the first book. He died on Earth then woke up in Gunslinger world. Roland travels with him, then abandons him when he falls off a bridge, as he was chasing a guy and the kid was slowing him down.

The second book is pretty cool. Roland finds these John Malkovitch doors which let him enter peoples minds on earth. A junkie/drug mule from the 80's, a 1950's schizo negro with no legs and a serial killer. The serial killer pushed the schizo in front of a train. Also killed the kid in the first book by pushing him in front of a car.

Then King brings the kid back to life and has him as an author insert. Starts making references to other characters from other books, like Pennywise and Randall Flagg. The man in black was Randall Flagg all along. Also the Gunslinger and co save King's life by stopping the retarded, drunk trucker from killing him (King's characterization, lets not examine the kind of retard that walks along a busy road on foggy mornings).

It's like a proto-Song of Ice and Fire. Starts good, gets better, then goes downhill fast and you realize it was shit all along.

yeah, basically this.

btw i'd be glad to see how they are gonna handle detta's character, given the fact that roland is now a nigger.

Doesn't Roland let the kid die immediately in the first book.

he comes back as you can see

Hmm, I always thought that was the Man in black's doing.

Also,
Then King brings the kid back to life and has him as an author insert. Starts making references to other characters from other books, like Pennywise and Randall Flagg. The man in black was Randall Flagg all along.

sounds fucking retarded

That was supposed to be greentext

Fuck you I liked those movies

fuck did he write that? those lyrics are fucking shit damn.

Let me quess, the nigger is actually white in the book right?

He also came back with the horn though, so this time he has a new boon to help him make a better outcome.

regardless, this movie will be shit and everything about it so far makes me pissed

Hi amy pascal

fuck you, wolves of the calla was fun as fuck.

Yup.

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The Dark Tower was supposed to be some magical tech that linked worlds together, for whatever reason, resources maybe, can't remember. So characters from other King books end up in the Gunslinger world. Versions of them, anyway. Vampires from the Salems Lot, Randall Flagg from The Stand and Eye of the Dragon, The Turtle and It from It plus a few characters and references from short stories by King. There is even an evil Thomas the Tank Engine.

Cool concept, or perhaps it would be better to say that it had several cool ideas, but the series was rushed, which exaggerated the flaws.

In the first book it was. The second book had Jake confuse the MiB for the Pusher.

Not just white, but a major (nog) character refers to him as a "honkey cracka" and thinks he killed Trayvon, started the KKK and abducted her ancestors from Mother Africa and stole the magical powers of her people. He's a dangerous caucasian, so she hates and fears him with a passion.

The Magnificent 7 with vampires. I know I read it, but I can't remember shit about it. I remember all the references to other stuff. Was that the one where the tranny demon in book one that fucked Roland, dumped it's pozzed load into the cripple, then gave her legs and took her to alternate New York to give birth to Spiderman? Yeah, it was shit. The Rowling for Boomers comment some user made earlier in this thread is appropriate. It's ok, I have shit taste too.

King used to be good. But his last good book was in the 90s.

If you ever read Dark Tower:
1,2,3 are good
4 is alright
5 is meh
6 & 7 are SHIT

basically pic related

it's an homage goy

I tried reading two King books, one about an author that has to combat some evil ghost and rescue some jailbait socialite from the clutches of her evil father or something and the first Dark Tower book.

The one about the jailbait fucking the middle aged author seems to be a recurring theme with King, or so I'm told, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was a pedophile. Leftists mostly are.

Dark Tower I was interested in, I thought the concept of a dark fantasy western coupled with trippy horror was pretty great, and then he introduces a junkie and a nigger as party members and that's where I gave up.

Also, aren't the Nips going to cut off some more heads when this and Spider Man: Jungle Fever fail?

This is now a cat thread youtu.be/Fncq9KJnG5E ,/

I genuinely think The Long Walk is the best shit King has ever written

BLACKED TOWER

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Roland is a nigger?

What am I looking at…

She'll be a blonde, blue eyed with thick southern accent, calling him a nigger all the time.

I read the one where people turned into zombies because of some signal in the cell phones, but then they got levitation powers and started shooting lightnings from their hands or some shit. I didn't even finish the book.

How I fucking wish someone in the West could actually shit out a space opera featuring Jack Kirby elements and focus it on an alpha male protagonist that goes around wrecking shit and making women submit to his dick and join his harem.

Alas, we will only see that when the mudshits completely take over and it will feature some inbred sandnigger as the protagonist. Either that or the Russians overrun Western Europe and put everyone out of their misery.

What is a fact is that we will never see entertainment aimed at straight, white men produced in the West ever again.

Oh so thats why they used this in the trailer. Fucking hacks.

It was rushed because King allowed himself to be pushed by some seriously autistic fans. However, the series did take a little over 20 years to finish. A Song of Ice and Fire is another series that is taking as long to finish.

Just a friendly reminder that Stephen King had the guy who hit him assassinated on his birthday.

Is that good or bad?

Guess that depends on your stance on boomer pedos.

Same shit, Holla Forums.