Butt Plug

Fuck it, gotta throw away all my shit I own in about 7 months.

Should I buy a butt plug or prostate massager, Holla Forums?

Hell no. Where are your brains? In your ass?

story time?

Satan, has it ever occurred to you that maybe he just wants to stimulate his brain? In his ass?

Maybe a butt plug will make him think before he talks shit.

Not really, but I won't be allowed to bring anything with me where I'm going, and my family are all thieves and whores who will destroy, sell, or throw away anything I leave with them. The only things I'm keeping are my degree, certifications, and honors/awards I've received over the years in a safety deposit box. Can't get too much into it, but it's military related. Probably won't have access to said box for about 4-10 years. Leaving the key with a close friend of 8 years who's paranoid of the government, so it doesn't get stolen.


Maybe I just want to stimulate my prostate?

More about your friend? The government's a big friend of mine. They are run by pedophiles.

Нет.

is your family jewish? also, why are you a faggot?

Worse. They're Irish LDS.

I'm not a faggot I think the very idea of sticking a penis in a dude's pooper is fucking disgusting whether you're on the sending or the receiving end. That being said, the first thing I came to when I was 12 was a sex story about a dude sucking a shota's dick until he dry nutted. And I used to stick crayola markers up my ass when I was 13. And I've found that my best orgasms/fap sessions have always been with a sharpie or those ball ends from curtain racks up my poop chute.

I know this sounds gay as fuck, but I swear to god it's not gay. Something about stimulating the prostate makes faps 10x better than regular faps. Doubly so when you're using a tight onahole like pic related and something up your butt at the same time.

Mmmmmmmmmehhhh

sorry to break it to you, but it's fucking gay. you both are homosexual "men".

I said "meh."

I know it's gay. Sticking something up your ass for fapping is gay. But is it really? What if you're someone badass like the bald man from x-men? Or perhaps WOLVERINE himself? Wouldn't be gay then would it?

What if badass Heavy Metal singers were all pedophiles? Wouldn't be so creepy huh?

you're going to hell anyway, so who gives a shit what you insert up your ass?

Why do you have to throw everything away?

LISTEN TO THIS MAN!
You dense motherfuckers. I'm a straight man, and at this point, I won't even fap without some form of prostate stimulation because it'd only be unsatisfactory otherwise.
LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR:
Gay or not, if you aren't working your butt - you are missing out, full stop. Your orgasms are weak shit, shorter and far less intense than they could be. Try it out, at least.

I just want anons to be happy, but they never listen. Fucking prudes don't know what's good for them.

Mentally unstable for thinking outside the wall? No. I'm questioning the gay standards that society(or rather THE GOVERNMENT) has built for the retarded public. If I was Batman and I shoved a crayon up my buttler, people with closed-minds would see it as gay, but people with OPENED-minds would see it as mere experimentation. Because I am badass.

If Ozzy Osbourne was a pedophile I'd guarantee you'd think twice. You'd be beggin for what he gets. Pure sugar.

I just tried to humor you by sticking some staples up and around my ass and it did not feel pleasant. I've never done any hard or hurtcore shit like that.

Ass*

...

See


Not sure I like you faggots even if you're siding with me (sort of).


This user gets it.

I was kidding. Only thong I was serious about was the Ozzy Osbourne pedophile thing. Feel better now?

open-mindedness in this situation is gay
>oh hey this banana looks great! i'm so open-minded i think i should experiment and shove it up my ass hole. totally not gay though lol vote romney
you're gaping asshole very much suits your open mind. b8

no he doesn't. he's gay as well. the only sexual pleasure a man gets is coming out of his dick. anything else is homosexual and degenerate as fuck.

Only sexual pleasure a man gets is women. Faggot.

whichever you buy post videos of you using them here, for science.

This isn't about open-mindedness bullshit, user. This is about sticking foreign objects up the pooper.

How could your bunghole be more gay than touching an actual dick?

you are right. my mistake. cis scum

and that is gay

touching two actual dicks?

Why is it gay?

I mean, it's not gay to stick it up a girl's pooper.

because inserting anything up your ass for any form of pleasure is gay. you're not a girl. girls are different.

Girls have vaginas and clits to stimulate.

you're supposed to get things inside there. that's not the case with men's buttholes.

What's gay about this?

this is the gay part.

Why?

Recently found a young girl on TOR who used a Pretzel as a butt plug,then proceeded to eat it.

Search the dark for "pretzel" and you will see how satisfied it made us all to witness such a thing!!

Sounds gay. How young was she anyway?

capisce?

twelv….(cough cough)..16. (thats how she answered when asked anyway)

...

But then it should be gay if a chick does it. Otherwise you're just a faggot.

Anyways, I'm heading to sleep. Might see thread tomorrow, doubtful. G'night Holla Forums.

She sounds 12

Of course it will be up silly

the things that make girls gay aren't the same things that make guys gay. sticking anything up a man's ass makes said man gay.

...

thanks bro
i just went to MK and searched Pretzel and hit paydirt

Ancient societies disagree.

wots that

Magic Kingdom

ancient societies fell down because of their gayness. they didn't know any better. stop being gay.

Top Kek that thread goes quite as all run of to search the onion for pretzel's

...

Ayy

buy a rope

shut up homo

Never.

I won't give smug faggots the pleasure of seeing me dead.