What does it mean when you fantasize about being raped as a child...

You are free to go.

I WANT TO BE YOUR HOT LITTLE SLAVE PRINCESS

No, it's the point where you switch to plan B and detonate the backpack full of explosives you brought. You did bring one, right? What kind of person would walk into an obvious trap without a plan B?

t. pedo

The very first time I masturbated intentionally it was to the thought of myself getting raped. Is this bad?

No, not at all. Daddy loves to know the truth.

hawt, tell us more

How old were you?

by a man or woman?

12.

A woman. I read some forced blowjob edging story. I didn't know I was gay until every fap after that one involved a man. Usually me being pinned down on my stomach and fucked until I had an uncomfortable erection, or me sitting on a guy's dick while he jerked me off.

I think my closeted self had an easier time accepting the fantasy if my erection was forced, maybe as a way of forcing myself to confront the issue. I thought I was straight with a homosexual rape fetish. I didn't accept that I was gay until a year later. And finally when I was 14 I discovered BDSM which resolved my questions about why I found that kind of stuff hot.

I still find it every odd for a 12 year old to masturbate to that sort of thing. And before anyone asks, I wasn't molested as a kid. Although if the right person approached I don't think it would have been the worst thing that's ever happened to me. But that's probably just what the adult me thinks I would have enjoyed.