FBI general

24 year old virgin neet. Is it too late to go to college for hopes of getting a job at the FBI? Any advice from agents is welcome.

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Lemme just look through your history real quick kid

The shit is pay and you need to pass a fitness and regular drug test. If you're a fat fuck piece of shit, don't bother.

t. former FBI agent

what's the government trying to tell us?

The pay is shit*

I quit after 4 years, I was in the cyber division, got sick of all the mindless paperwork.

Now doing infosec for a large company and making a shitload lot of money, much happier.

...

I'm looking to join too, trying to get into the /x/ files division.

Here's the plan OP:

There should be mandatory military service for all NEETs 20 or older.

I did computer forensics and got reassigned after my first court testimony, fucking botched it. Was nervous and did awful.

Computer forensics is shit, the meticulous documentation and making sure everything is repeatable and reproducible.

It's fun being a neet and all. But all good things had to come to a end

Post    CP   
the FBI will contact you for an interview.

wear a tie

Would the national guard be enough to get the G.I. Bill. I want to join the national guard while in community college.

Are you ready willing to take several lie detector tests as they ask you everything you don't want them to ask you? Are you ready for the FBI to go into a full investigation of everything you've ever done? Are you ready to get fit? Are you ready to tell them about your CP? Are you ready to shoot a man? Are you ready to undergo torture? If you answered "no" to any of these questions, then don't bother.

FBI does that? I thought only CIA niggers and homeland security make recruits go though lie dectors

Nope CIA entrance test is shooting a man before throwing him out of a plane and identifying men of large stature.

Those who get high level security sometimes had to do them. Lie detectors are bullshit and aren't admissible in court anyway.

why did you tell us that you're a virgin?
how does that have anything thing to do with getting a job?

Offering up a virgin boipussy in an interview is bound to impress a prospective employer

It's a sigh of low self esteem?

Join the NSA instead. Imagine… all the CP you could ever want - and they pay YOU to watch it!

You can get payed to look at cp at the FBI

Cool! I'm applying to join on Monday, then!

Hope you have a bachelor degree

Wrong agency. The NSA is an intelligence agency. If you want to see CP you'd need to join certain divisions in the FBI. And they don't let people who are suspiciously eager into those departments anyway.

The organizations who see the most CP are non-profits like the NCMEC. They have to look at thousands of reports a day, determine if it's CP and a known series.

how to avoid getting caught for cp officer

I recommend not downloading CP.

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Can you tell us more about what you did?

Public service in the states seems to be like a bad idea. You can get fired, and sooner or later there will be a spree killer near you and you'll just spend the rest of your life thinking of why you didnt just quit everything and go to some farm to earn your own money and became that same spreekiller that was going to kill you in the first place when some guy from brazil make your crops too cheap just to sell it in the market. So, one way or another there are frustrations. And it will always be frustrating.

Are you saying I should become a farmer?

Either that, or you can became a professional framer.

Because we all know the FBI enjoys framing inocent people nobody would ever belive.

there's one flaw in your plan user
*fbi brings out girl in tutu*
"it's time for the boner test"

Go suck a fuck: vocaroo.com/i/s0Fjiezykq1n