Root Cause?

I don't know what to say user, other than I'm praying for you.

I had my demons. A silver lining to living in isolation the past 3 years is that I've had the time to identify my problems and solve them. My rage issues towards family are gone but strangers are a different story

How do I live with it?

I use my brain. You should too. If you hate your job then fucking do something about it OP. No, it's not as easy as it sounds. Happiness is a plant that is a bitch to grow, it favors no climate, only grows during random ass period of the year, dies a lot and sometimes doesn't even grow at all. But goddamn isn't it wonderful when it finally does grow under those minute circumstances in which it will, but you have to try. If your life is a routine grind then you aren't allowed to complain about it because you aren't doing things to make it dynamic enough.

Hate your job? Do something to find a better one. I went to school for IT on a free ride and I failed because I couldn't buy books and exams. IT crushed me (Haha get it?!) but here I am living on my friends couch on my used fucking abacus of a computer from 2009 learning how to into IT and learning by fixing this piece of shit constantly and fixing my friends friends computers for basically nothing so I can one day get an entry level position in IT and rise through the ranks. It's what keeps me sane right now, but it's what I have. Maybe it seems insignificant to you, but its my hope in something better. Find that hope, whatever it is, even if it's in something completely arbitrary and futile, as long as you believe it can happen, it'll keep you going every day until the day you fucking die.

Also so what if you're a virgin? Sex is so overrated. Who cares? You put the benis in the bagina then milk. There's nothing special about it. You put so much work into some bitch who either doesn't care about you or has emotions so fleeting that she'll stab you in the back at the most random moment, the latter of which is almost always guaranteed, just so you can put your dick inside her. But then you have to please her and shit because if you don't she'll tell everyone she knows about how small your penis is.
It's so much trouble that the 6 seconds of pleasure you get from it isn't even worth it. Do what I did and tour Europe for two months poking holes in your condom and fucking as many Aryan beauties as you can. That way you can fulfill your genetic duty and get back to what actually matters in this short fucking life we have.

"Fun" is overrated too. What about fulfillment? Doesn't that matter to anyone anymore? Do some goddamn LSD or something OP, have an epiphany and find something to conquer. Quit jerking off on imageboards and seek some initiative in your life. You only get one, and the amount of time you get to live is a vapor in the span of eternity. You get like, what? 20 good years where you have the freedom and vigor to do whatever the fuck you want to, then you spend the next 30 telling everyone about it. So what are you going to tell people? What are you going to think when you're eating through a straw in some nursing home when your 70? Friendly reminder that 2007 was 10 years ago. How does that make you feel? It scares the fuck out of me. And now you're what, 31? What the hell are you doing on Holla Forums?

what's with your sister/brother? did she pull through? is somebody taking care of him?

My stepdad came into the picture when I was 9, my sister 11, my brother 7. My stepdad molested her daily and currently they live together and have two kids. My mom divorced him when she found out my sister was pregnant and now she's a mess. She's obese and so are her kids. (I know he molests them too because of how sexualized they act when with me.) My brother is still retarded and lives with my mom who also lives with my grandmother. I left the family picture around 13 permanently so I missed a lot but when the cads fell things were as they are now.

My brother is functional enough for a safeway job. He an my mother live in the room next to me. My grandmother is a hoarder otherwise we would all have our own room. (I get my own room but have to share it with some of her hoard.)

best recommendation I can make (see ) is to work with your hands. fuck money, seeing a project get done is a feeling that you won't get from any desk job. the money's pretty good too

as a bonus, if your work construction you'll be spending your day with guys that are in good shape and you might actually get a gf to save until marriage, at which time you can copulate in a modest position for the sole purpose of procreationthen she'll get chubby which some of us find EXTRAORDINARILY FUCKING ATTRACTIVE

godspeed, user, make us proud

damn that sucks about your sister. I hope things work out somehow.
hoarding sucks too. i help clean out hoarders' apartments sometimes (just finished one this weekend) and it's a crippling addition. easily as bad as drugs.

*er, crippling addiction

A sample of the hoard I live in.

The worst part is that if I even hint at any type of cleaning she says I'm conspiring against her. Any word about anything and she shuts me down by saying "stop doing the to me" then I ask her what and she says "that". Its insane

that sucks. it''ll only get worse (probably/unfortunately). sucks about your mom/bro, and it's nice that you've got a place to fall back on, but get the hell out of there while you still can.

I used to snap at my grandmother and it would devolve into an argument lasting hours with both of us sweating like obsessed crack heads. I used to get furious about her hoarding but I ended up feeling abusive so I folded instead of cause her mental anguish

Did I read that right? Your sister is now leaving with your stepdad that molested her, as his girlfriend?

100% the right thing to do. won't help yelling at her any more than screaming at a junkie in the street.

And they have two kids.

The thing about it is that I was convinced she was just stubborn. That my family had let her have her way so many years they trained her to act that way, almost like a kid. positive reinforcement of negative behavior and I thought I could undo that

As usual, the IRL version of this Fanfic involves obese trailer park dwellers, not cute Japanese girls.

What the fuck?
How old is she?
What the fuck did you mom say about it?

My mom didnt say much because he would beat the shit out of her as he does to my sister and their kids as he did me and my handicapped brother. We went into foster care for a year and step dad went to jail for beating brother (developmentally disabled, cerebral palsy) with a 2x4. Ive seen some shit but watching my brother get beat like that never left the front of my mind.

My sister is now 28

How old is your sister?

Look into crossbows if you want something for home defense. It's better than nothing.

So she loves him or something?

hoarding is an absolute fucking addiction. i'm trying to help a friend of mine (it was his mom's place that we cleared out last week). he's a nice, 40-ish year old guy but can't manage to throw out a piece of paper. his parents and grandparents were hoarders, and it's crippled his entire life. it took him a year of therapy to empty his (deceased) mother's place into storage and throw out just a tiny bit of what was there.

it blows my mind that these people exist and it's impressive that your mom found so many of themthat's tough, no two ways about it

Or something. She was molested by all of my mothers BF's her real father and our step father. When I was younger my sister would invite older men into the house when my mother was gone (I was around 12 and she was 14) I would sit downstairs on a knife because the dudes she brought over to fun her in er room all looked like my step dad. My real dad turned her into a fetishist

My mother was obese her entire life and her first BF my real father was slim and good-looking but fuckig crazy beyond anything. He ruined her self esteem and other things. My mother was damaged goods who was to focused on making sure she wasn't abused to worry about us.

heavenly dubs check'd
How young were you?

you're doing good work, user

I'm an alcoholic and on again/off again opiate user. It helps for about 3-4 hours a day when I'm not at work. When I'm at work all i can think about is getting high and drunk which distracts me from how mundane my shit job is. Oh well, at least i have drugs and alcohol to make me happy

Well, damn, a lot of illegal shit going down in your home, nigger. Old ass men fucking your underaged sister. Hell, could be one of the pedos on here.

there's a fuckton of bad people out there, and they tend to pass it on in the family. kind of scary when you (me) realize just how fucking vile people can be to each other. I mean shit, how can you look at your own kid and do that? i don't get it.

That wasn't me. Yes a lot of illegal shit went down in my home and homes. My sister got the never ending brunt though. I got beat by everyone but thats better than fucked. hell when we went into foster care my sister told me that at her home it was all black people and one grown man would sit int he bathroom and watch her take baths.

Yeah it leaves a lot of hate in your heart.

One thing though. Ive been secretly getting ripped. Im 6'10" and 241lbs last checked today. Im gonna rip my step dads head off with my bear hands and attack anyone who tries to stop me.

What i meant was that when im not working or sleeping im trying to get high or drunk which only lasts a few hours of intoxicated bliss before i have to repeat it all over again.

Drugs and alcohol are my one true love considering …

nothing, but nothing is quite as bad as government stealing peoples' kids.

i'm sure it does. good luck finding decent people to be around

greatest revenge is doing well user, not spending two decades in the clink because some guy was an asshole to your sister. if what you're saying is true, stepdad will be replaced by another creep a week after you pop him and no one will be there to protect her kids

...

I hate my step father more than my real father because my real father abused us from a place I can't understand (he would laugh and smile the whole time asking what was wrong ads he tourtured me) my stepfather abused us from a place of lucid meanness. He was just a dick to be a dick. Every day after school he would strip search me then have me kneel naked on my knees between his legs in a seated position so my head was around his crotch and he would grill me about chores and my day. Whenever he thought I was lying he would slap me so hard my nose would bleed. if a chore wasn't done to his liking he would ask me why. I would say I don't know (SLAP) wrong answer. Why again. I don't know (SLAP) wrong answer. Then he would say I didnt do it right because I didnt want to and I didnt respect him. I would say that wasn't the reason and would get slapped until I said I didnt clean the dishes or whatever right because I didnt want to, then he would beat the living shit out of me.

Everything here is fantasy user, you would have to be retarded to believe it.

holy fuck dude that's not normal. blows my mind that you're even halfway coherent after that.

...

I got arrested back in 2013 for manufacturing explosive material (I had potassium nitrate in a backpack I bought off amazon and got drunk, when I got arrested I said I was building a bomb to blow up the police station. The charges were lessened and I was let go but had two agents from the counter terrorism task force show up to m house and ask me to wear a wire at the anarchist book fair in santa cruz to find people capable of making explosives. I said I would help but a day later got blackout drunk and wandered into a safeway with a deeply cut hand and started throwing blood at people and being crazy. I was taken to the hospital and the next day the agents came by and said they couldn't work with me.

You should've seen me in the grip of my demons back in 2013 and before

that actually kinda funny. I mean screwed up, of course, but kinda funny.

well you're doing pretty damn good if most of your day is spent on gardening at grandma's place. protip: please don't blow it all by decapitating your stepdad, much as he may deserve it

Ive thought about the step dad thing long enough that I know I would net more negative than positive. The best I can hope for is to have the girls accept what I'm telling them about "daddy" when they are old enough.

know what? ima ask a serious question. most people can't pull themselves out of this stuff. how'd you do it? even in part? what gave you perspective?

not sure if that makes it better or worse. hope he gets what he deserves.

underrated post

Ive calmed down so much from my getting into fights everyday in downtown SF days. My days are entirely spent alone. Gma out visiting people, mom/ brother at work. 90% of the day is gardening and I'm better for it.

have a sample

What an edgy cunt. Understandable for sure but still an edgy cunt. Then again I'm a mentally weak addict so what do I know?

those are just weeds dumbass

Lel, this

i could never into gardening. i'm almost scared to bring plants home since i figure that i'll mess it up and they deserve better than my incompetent care. very impressive not that i have any idea what i'm looking at, i literally can't tell corn from wheat

You should get into Kava and Taro gardening. Cali hippy faggots eat that shit up.

Hey, HEY. Thats just the back. Also you have to start somewhere, the raised beds are coming next, all I have in the back is a shade box for my salvia.

I hope you sell that salvia instead of taking it. Does your Gram even know what it is?

essentially I found the insight through this website. Everything about this website is reduction and cynicism. Everyone breaks everything down to its bear bones when it comes to the real of feelings. There is no sugar coating. By being aroung the image board atmosphere I gained the insight of begin able to spot an emotional faggot from a mile away and I turned that inward. I criticized myself for being such a pussy and questioned myself as to why I hurt others to deal with my pain. I found that its because I was bullied my whole life even though I was always the biggest person around. I realized through self criticism that I had been hurt so in order to not be hurt anymore I decided to join the abusers.Basically I joined the abusing team to escape the abused team. I came to hate everything I perceived as being what I was, WEAK. That mindset led me to confrontation with my mother over her obesity and my grandmother over her hoarding and obesity. It led me to picking fights in the street just to feel myself being the one doing the beating for once. I realized I became my step dad for a minute by really looking at myself and I decided to change before it was too late.

Time for me.

Worked out ok but now I am really poor and earn like $3.5 an hour and live in a commie block.

She does, and she's okay with it as long as I don't use it in the house.

to the realm of feeling

Do you play CS:go while squatting in your chair?

i have some friends that respond really well to blunt, matter-of-fact analysis, and they're all better for it. best personality trait you could ask for.

everyone has their own path I guess

I still haven't met anyone well who responds well to bluntness but then again I'm in cali

two or three of my close friends love me for exactly that. good guys that work hard on themselves.

others not so much though… that guy with the hoarding problem, for example. can't say a word to him. makes dealing with the whole things twice as difficult.

Yes

I did the the same once I grew out of my hebe/teen thing phase but it is weird how one society sees it as nothing just being a guy in his 20s and the other worse then a rapiest murder.

I have to be careful since I am married here I am same from extradition but when I go overseas I always have to check it out first otherwise the could send me to USA to face life and being raped stabbed by bubba because USA morality or logic or some shit.

...

Spending my spare time in abandoned buildings in my area is a great way to get meaningful time to continue and think about the future. Do any of you ever take the time to sit quiet and think about your future?

Yeah, except I spend time in an abandoned cemetery.

can't tell you how much i oppose the way we treat sex offenders here. there are plenty of abusive fuckers that deserve to suffer (e. g. user's stepdad), but then thousands of regular dudes get thrown away for YEARS of their lives because of statutory or borderline cp charges. miscarriage of justice, that.

not as much as I used to. it's tough pretending to be a grownup.

Fuck you mike and mark, I know you faggots are watching

Thats pointless if someone is already wanted / known you idiot.

And who said he is known you idiot? Do the police know where he is, idiot?

Herp derp but what more can expected from a American.

Alcoholfag here. My future involves cirrhosis, pancreatitis and incontinence. I'm in my early twenties and already experience the early to mid stages of all three. Kidney and liver failure are next. I already shit liquid and blood 5-10 times a day. I try to stay high/drunk enough to not think about it. I do this because I'm a pedo/hebe and I've known this since I was 16. I have no intention of molesting children so I isolate myself as best as possible and willingly became an addict so that my mind could be drowned out by obsession over chemicals instead of… other things… cheers faggots

let the man procreate in peace.

ya screwed up the quote ya big dolt that's what you get for insulting god's country you shitskin

What more can be expected of a punjabii motherfucker?
Might drop some MOABs on you fuckers in the near future

Does it help to know that 1/4 are pedos and most are attracted to hebe?

Its a big meme that we act like it is so abnormal when truth is there are far more pedos then homos.

1/3 of all girls are sexually "abused" but most don't care or report it.

Why do you think there is a big uncel meme about it… because it is very common.

and only 100 years ago it was normal as fuck in the USA.

In the USA even 70 years ago some states consent age was 9 years old.

Its only in recent history has being a pedo become such a big deal.

Before it use to be better to be a pedo then a homo by far.

holy shit dude, that just means you like cute girls. get the fuck off the drink and go find somebody
not shitting blood you don't. get the hell off the street and sort your shit out. ive met dopeheads with more determination that you

The root cause is that your identity is tied up in things that are temporary. I went through the same phase and came out the other end for the better.

Even though I was 'successful' and things were getting 'better' recently, I only experienced the temporary happiness and then put my sights on the next thing, delaying my need to be happy until I got to the next goal. Spending 99% of my time stressed about the future or past, no matter what I accomplished. It doesn't have to be that way.

Basically I discovered the way was to accept what is right now. Everything got easier after that.

When your attention is used up on the past, future, a 'better' place to be, how great it was in the past, bad things that might happen in the future (which probably won't happen) – all this causes you to miss out on what is right now. The current moment in the place where you are is the only place to find happiness, because the rest does not exist. The rest are thoughts that torture you.

Don't put your attention on things that don't exist. Your future literally doesn't exist. It's just a thought in your head (which you don't have to give attention to) Same with the past, a memory is not real. Why pay attention to things that aren't real? You can choose to stop giving power to these thoughts if you keep your attention on the current moment.

You can even stop the thinking completely, and you won't disappear, you won't die. Trust me on that. What will happen is you will be relived of the bodily stress those past/future thoughts are inflicting on your body.

I never realized how much strain the mind can put on the body. When I learned to stop thinking, I suddenly had tons of energy. Before I was tired all the time. What changed? The stress of repetitive, useless thoughts had actually been wearing me out. Without thought, I am now more energetic and productive. It sounds counterintuitive but it's true.

No.

As I said, I have no intention of becoming a child molester. Nor have I had more than a passing fancy for girls in high school and college (not that I have ever pulled any girls due to being a baby-faced manlet to begin with).

Not here to argue with you faggots, OP asked how we deal with this shit show we call life. Just wanted to contribute to the thread.

Do it!

This is sad. How can you live never remembering happier times? Is hope not worth anything? Is there not something to be gained from the past whether painful or happy? These emotions are what make us human, why shouldn't we cling to them?

How do you even forget the past and turn off your brain? I'm able to delay thinking by focusing on something else, but the thoughts always catch up to me later.

kek

+1

the only true parts

bretty gud.

As long as the thoughts work for you, it is okay. As soon as you believe you 'are' your thoughts, then they become the master, and suffering soon follows. The key is the realize that you are not your thoughts. Your consciousness can do just fine without them, but without your consciousness, your thoughts have nothing to observe them. The thoughts will always try to take attention away from consciousness, because that is the only way the thought survives. Thoughts (ego) is constantly reenforcing itself in order to continue its existence. The truth is, we don't need it to survive, don't need it to feel content. Ego is a useful servant, buy a horrible master.

Once you are able to separate your ego (thoughts in your head) from your pure consciousness (the one observing the thoughts), thats when you have the power to choose.

Sounds pretty awesome. But it's a lot easier said than done.

dubs of wisdom
where hath thou gotten this knowledge from user?

rent a hooker

I used to think it was weird, but once I read about the history of feminism, the mechanics of the dating market and the US government's long history of overthrowing democracies, blatantly violating the Constitution and making up psychological disorders to label dissidents with, it started making sense. People who support this hysteria are either dramatically misinformed, evil or both. Those who are just misinformed may not necessarily be bad people, but they're still unlikely to listen because it would mean admitting that they were wrong.

Holla Forums is a place thats lurk on the edge of society. Around this border community, there are outskirts that discuss the nature of consciousness & it is there that you much go.

the key to your first step is hidden in my post. you already have taken your first step. remain patient, investigate and we hope to welcome you in a future time.

The message has been around for thousands of years, but imo best articulated recently by a German man. At least for me, he put it in an accessible, easily understandable, practical way.

youtube.com/watch?v=kqUBUvTmPwg

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