I just want to start this thread by saying that I am not a shill or slider. That is not my intent in this thread.
The question I want to ask and the topic I want to discuss, is not about what religion, or about what esoteric school is right for us, as a people.
Holla Forums and to a lesser degree, several other forums on the internat have seen an explosive increase in discussions that touches upon subjects that defies normal earthly logic in material realm. Now, active threads discussing otherwordly themes and unexplainable anomalies are a common occurence here, even if mods lock many of them.
The nature of what is discussed differes widely. From memes and ideas that seem to come to life and turns out to be as old as recorded civilization, and feel some sort of personal deep connection to them. To shared childhood memories of things that, according to the present, never existed or happened in the first place. Glitches, deja-vu, The Yugas, the Kali Yuga other simmilar phenomenon, consepts and occurences.
As many of you may know, our white pre-christian ancestors and now extinct white tribes of pre-history, were deeply obsessed with magic. We also know that the Jews, with their Khabbalah and Zohar, are obsessed with it as well.
I have had some "spiritual" or "ortherworldy" experiences in tha past, that much I know and can say for certain. What it was I don't remember, but I do beleive that there is more to reality than what we can see and feel. At least I think I do. See, here is the thing that has been bothering me. Whatever strange occurance that happened to me back then, most likely in childhood, is completely lost to me. What is more troublesome is that I have not responded to any of these things I mentioned above, with the same bewilderment and confusion as you have, even if I have different memory of reality.
With the memes that have come to life or been reborn, I do not feel anything. No curiosity as to why this is possible, no will to shitpost and banter with my fellow Holla Forumsacks and activally participate in the discussions. Also, I don't seem to have this positive/ humorous attitude you guys have. I personally have little faith in anything positive and it seems like you believe there is still hope, so we can enjoy the ride.
I have been on Holla Forums since 2011 when I was an underage B&. I know the memes and have witnessed their birth here and can see that several things that have been discussed here that are strange to say the least. But due to my lack of memory of certain things, it never makes me feel any sort of thing. No deja vu, no memory i can recall that contradicts this reality.
What I am saying is, whatever is out there that we don't understand, but can sometimes "feel", is totally abscent for me. My existence, as far as I can sense now, is entirely material. Everything "otherworldy" isn't there anymore. I grew up in a typical atheistic Norwegian family and didn't ask myself existential questions. But yet, a faint memory of something remians. Something that makes me somewhat relate to what you guys have been experiencing.
I do not know what is causing this deterioation of my perception and memory. Is it the ADHD medication of Concerta/Ritalin I have been forced to take since childhood that have destroyed my pineal gland? Nutritional deficiency? Result of too much fapping, too little sleep or a combination of them all? If anything is responsible for my situation, it's these.
I just wonder, if there are any other Holla Forumsacks who can relate to this? Who feel like they're only abundet matter and can't grasp these metaphysical consepts so many other Holla Forumsacks seem so convinced of existing?
If there is anything like a God, Pantheon of Gods, an unexplainable out there that exists beyond our physical realm, I can no longer feel it. And I think it may have something to do with how often I feel depressed. To sum it up, I think St. Augustine of Hippo's words privatio boni or, absence of good can apply here.
