So, looks like we're already getting stories set in the aftermath of Civil War II, even though the event itself still isn't over yet. I guess even Marvel's writers just want it all to be over already.
Come, anons, sit with me and read the tale of the beginning of an all new team of young champions in the All-New, All-Different Marvel universe: The Teen Titans Champions!
So, I guess Civil War II is going to end with two of Bendis' favorite Avengers deciding to quit the Avengers?
Josiah Morales
Aaaaand it's time to start recruiting new members for the band. First on the list: Amadeus Cho, aka the Hulk.
Connor Harris
...
Jacob Moore
Oh, look, a clown. Who is also a human trafficker.
…Did Viv know about that the entire time and was just sitting in the basement playing videogames and doing nothing about it?
Jaxon Cooper
Has anyone ever kept tabs on how many times Marvel or DC has retconned and restarted their universes by now?
Thomas Perry
Brace yourselves for incoming cringe, anons.
Caleb Richardson
God dammit, Billy, I told you to brace for cringe. Now you've gone and cringed so hard, your face is stuck that way!
Next month on The Champions: Being Scott Summers is suffering.
I think Marvel's only done a full restart the one time, user. And they didn't actually change much during it, either. All-New, All-Different is more just a marketing thing.
Lucas Brooks
The good news is Miles and Khamala are off the Avengers so now they'll end up in the bargain bin of unwanted spinoff characters that'll people will forget about in 2 years until the next batch of Diversity takes their place.
Asher Garcia
Just fucking stop, Marvel. This is just sad. I wanna throw all my Marvel comics into a dumpster at this point. They have no value anymore to waste taking them to a used bookstore.
Carson Anderson
Yo, what the fuck? If marvel accidentally touched shit when they had Dr Doom cry during 9/11, then in 2016 they've been eating and swimming in shit.
Jonathan Harris
Page 20, panel 1: pay attention.
Page 25, panel 1: girl is alive Page 28, panel 1: girl is dead "She's been like that for HOURS!!!"
I'll assume the artist tried to set up a Gwen Stacy scenario, but the editors said nuts to that.
Andrew Sullivan
It might be a case of, Viv wasnt looking so she didnt see it.
Videogames man, they waste your time and rot your brain.
Kayden James
Why do Marvel Comics suck so much rancid cock these days?
How did the higher-ups let things get this bad?
Noah Brooks
Nepotism, very low wages. Those are the two main reasons all the talent fled from their house.
Angel Smith
What? Why? HOW? League of Legends babbies detected.
It's cute that the headband is designed like Herc's.
We're fucking done here.
Camden Butler
Their purpose is propaganda, not entertainment.
Wyatt Price
Yep, SJWs don't mind taking a lower wage if they're allowed to proselytise.
Kevin Gray
...
Gavin Nguyen
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Charles Wright
People should start inundating Marvel's mailboxes with messages about how wrong this bullshit is. Send them facts about the "unarmed men" shot by police. Send them statistics on crime. Send them comics from the pre-SJW era so they can see how to write properly.
Kayden Rodriguez
You didn't buy things that you liked, so they went where the paying audience is.
Or, you know, buy good comics.
Jack Diaz
I have a problem with that scene from the opposite direction.
The rest of that speech almost reads like a direct criticism of the stupid bullshit going down in Civil War II, but because she started off by playing Oppression Olympics, it completely ruins the intended effect.
And then it ruins it all over again with that 'We #Champions now' ending.
It won't have the intended effect, but some of their staff might start sperging out about it on twitter or go crying to their ComicsAlliance buddies about all the 'racist hate-mail' they're suddenly getting, so I say go for it.
Christian Bennett
Even if it doesn't do anything but cause the fags to whine I'd still push for putting our complaints out. The world needs to know they're not alone for thinking this shit is absolute garbage. Needs to be some kind of rallying cry for change already.
Colton Martinez
I love how Waid gives his little BLM bullshit speech and yet in the background shows the cops taking the clown into custody!
Seriously how much more contradictory can you get?
Sebastian Gutierrez
Oh god Miles, your legs!
Jayden Turner
I do that part already.
Brandon Long
Implying that Marvel sales numbers aren't abysmal.
Kevin Flores
most recent sales update
Jackson Carter
Fuck off fence sitter
Ryder Bailey
You know where I could send it? I could use it for something too
Kevin James
Thanks for the update!
Carter Torres
Oh yeah, this is a team that will be canceled within the next 12 months for sure.
Wyatt Peterson
Fuck off and take your meds with you, you pretentious partisan.
Josiah Harris
It'll get as obscure as A-Next within 3 years or so. Be glad for that outcome.
Samuel Lopez
Was this even english?
Sebastian Rivera
Oh boy. You're a special kind of person, you know that user?
Ethan Cox
nice meme
Ryan White
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David Murphy
Fuck off dipshit they don't care for whos paying they want the PC faggot market
Kevin Campbell
They're a business unit of Disney now. The big money comes from the movies.
Nathaniel Miller
Disney doesn't give a fuck for the comics
its so big the execs don't even know the comics still exist
I've talked to people inside
They just need merchandising
Tell them the comics is losing them sheckels & the house of cards is fucked
I can't wait until we start making fun of 2010's like we do the 90's.
Adam Phillips
well if there was one thing about 90's diversity they did include handicapped people unlike nowadays.
Aaron Richardson
Needs the Burger King logo above the Champions one.
Between the initial Nu52 reboot and Marvel's current string of shit, we're certainly going to have plenty to laugh about, though. Unless the future is even worse.
Eli Mitchell
Why is young Cyclops here?
James Anderson
Marketing, I would assume. He's joining the team next issue, so even if he only shows up for a single page in this one, they gotta get him in on that full team lineup in the cover. Let the kids know what they're in for with this series, that sort of thing.
Kayden Foster
that shit nasty
Jeremiah Jones
Remember these guys? All they wanted to do was change the world. And they did. Thank you, New Warriors, for giving us Civil War.
Elijah Martinez
Now that might be worth seeing. Superheroes who aren't really "super", just "good", and who are spies, so get into interesting situations through thier job. Too bad any modern version would make one a wog, one a faggot and give them black leather costumes with silver "C" letters off to one side.
Kayden Gonzalez
It's a shame we didn't see how cancerous this was going to become. Nowadays labels are characters.
Easton Martinez
Its not the new warriors fault its Mark Millars fault.
Liam Bailey
Bitch Thor prioritizing punching people over saving lives, as usual. What a cunt.
Bentley Miller
Well, if you really think about it, would you want to work with the Avengers as written by Bendis? They're all fucking idiots. They don't even get to work with the good Cap and Thor, the new ones probably push their social agendas on the kids every day.
Angel Foster
so are they now like the marvel version of the teen titans?
Jace Butler
This Champions thing isn't HORRIBLE, but it's certainly not as good as New Warriors where when they started. New Warriors where the first teen team I really got into. And the characterizations for everyone was great, I had a good sense of who everyone was and what kept them interesting. And they had fucking Firestar, how cool is that?
As for the Champions though… I guess I honestly like Hulk and Ms. M. I know people get pissed about her being muslim, but as far as just a character, I get what she's about and why she comes off so preachy, which ties into why she even does the superhero thing. But Miles and Sam? Fucking boring. Miles is just like a tiny Peter Parker but not quite as interesting, and I think they hold back with Sam because the whole Loeb's dead son thing. No major opinion on Viv or young Cyke yet, haven't really read anything with them. I'm just left thinking: is this really the most interesting team they could give us? Probably not.
Jonathan Johnson
Is there any connection with the Champions Of L.A.? Ya try and tell kids that there used to be a team with Ghost Rider, Black Widow, Hercules, Ice Man, Angel, and Dark Star, and they don't believe you. Then you tell them that no-one bought it, and they tell you now they KNOW you're lying.
Aaron Adams
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Bentley Barnes
Kids these days probably don't even believe in the New Fantastic Four.
Samuel Bell
Last I checked, Viv's only on the "team" to rep Tom King's critically acclaimed yet poorly selling Vision comic for some reason. Obviously King has no say because he's now exclusively writing for DC at the moment.
Noah Lopez
Disabled characters are starting to feel like an invisible minority. I feel like they are important because while you can't change your race, sex chromosomes, or in some case sexuality from what you were born with, anyone can suffer from a bad life changing incident that can cause to them become disabled.
Eg: a bad car accident can put you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life due to a broken spinal cord, but won't make you go from black to Asian, female to male, or gay to straight and all their other combinations/possibilities etc.
But at the same time, it doesn't mean I want to see disabled people become token style features in every piece of fiction.
Disclamer, have been visual impaired since birth so I straddle the line between normal and disabled.
Asher Rogers
Yeah I can see that. I hate tokenism as much as the next person. But it would be cool to see characters like Oracle again. Also, how do you feel about characters that use bionic limbs to enhance their broken limbs like a cripple using an exosuit to walk. Does that seem interesting for disable people or no?
David Moore
Ain't anything wrong with bionic limbs considering real life bionic limb tech is approaching what fiction can do. Research into making humanoid/biped robots walk has had it's tech spin off into making better prosthetic legs.
While arms/hands/fingers are bit more complicated and we still don't have a "Skywalker" hand just yet. Current ones appear to be unfeeling binary open/close hands caused by an elbow twist. While this can be useful for grabbing a door handle/picking stuff up, we don't have any fine finger movements for playing things like video games or playing a piano.
There are companies making exosuit's for people in wheelchairs, so reality is slowly starting to be match fiction. But I wouldn't imagine a cripple in the current tech (or even better tech) fighting a war anytime soon . . . unless we were completely desperate for soldiers.
John Martinez
As a disabled person, I find that media tends to avoid us because if we don't fit into one of three broad spectrum we just make the normies uncomfortable. Our first acceptable slot is as The Tragedy: "Oh, they could have been great if only they hadn't been struck down by an uncaring god, I'm glad I'm not them." The second is The Inspiration: "Oh, you're such an inspiration to try and do things and overcome your limitations, you make me feel good about myself." And, my personal favorite, the Mentally Ill Morality Pet: "Oh jimmy, you try so hard, but you're a deafdumb idiot so all I can do is protect you from yourself because its impossible for you to be anything other than a big child."
All of these perspectives are incredibly insulting and self serving to the viewer, but in media they recur over and over again because it's acceptable. If there is a disabled character that doesn't fall into these tropes they're either a sour pain in the ass bitching all the time, or they're only physically disabled temporarily. Which brings us to…
I actually don't have a problem with the disabled becoming empowered through super science, magic, or some such. What I dislike is the two-faced two-step of it where a character was disabled on tuesday and on wednesday they're not only entirely recovered but they are also a physical paragon. Barb Gordon was disabled for years and now all the sudden she's Batgirl again. Nevermind she should be rusty, or that she should still feel the aches and pains of years of being in a wheelchair. She's fine now and nothing bad ever happened, as if recovery is not equally as important a character hook as losing function.
Nolan Russell
that shit pissed me off so much.
Elijah Sanders
There was also a recent X-men comic that angered me on this subject. The villain is a physically disabled dude in a floating wheel chair who during his villain spiel points out "You assholes don't do any outreach, you don't help people, you're rich white assholes in your manor and your super island who look interchangeable from humanity with super powers whining about how bad you've got it, and you don't do shit for those less fortunate than you." And rather than be horrified by the fact he has a point, or understand it and still take him to jail, they give response to the White Queen (that elitist cunt) who's like "I'ma kill your shit now."
Jason Jenkins
I remember seeing that pic. It was stupid. Kind of makes me realize the x-men are bunch of self loathing pussies. Guess you could say that about mutants in general.
Gabriel Ramirez
Hope those fuckers like the Bends
David Hernandez
The only thing that pissed me off with Babs was the feminist agenda that came in with Volume 2.
Joseph Edwards
And Tony Stark. And Gangbuster. And Niles Caulder. And Professor X. And Rick Jones. And Hector Hammond. And Doctor Octopus. And M.A.N.T.I.S..
Has anyone ever actually stayed in a wheelchair? Wizkid?
Evan Barnes
yeah that and that stupid costume. Its even dumber when they try to explain it.
Thomas Hughes
I could deal with the costume, if ya know, they gave an explanation better than "the writer think's its cool".
Like, if Batman was pissed at Barbara for something, so he cut her funding or something.
Aaron Sanchez
M.A.N.T.I.S. was the worst because they tried to combine super scientist, super negro, and super disabled in one bland uninteresting package when the concept of a superhero who can't walk except in controlled conditions for a limited amount of time is great.
Leo Stewart
I can't have these posters on my wall anymore is what I'm getting at. I still have classic Batman and Superman ones on my walls. They're the only ones not headed to a dumpster some time soon. Think I'll hang some of my anime wallscrolls back up because they're less embarrassing.
Daniel Rodriguez
To be fair, I believe the bends comes from the pressure of the ocean, so as long as the container is there reducing the water pressure, they probably won't suffer decompression problems. Impact trauma, on the other hand…
Jeremiah Green
If you're actually disabled you can say "fag" and not use the watered down for reddit bullshit.
Matthew Watson
What an autistic complaint.
Caleb Lee
I don't fucking understand kids. Just stop looking at the modern shit. There are DECADES of great books for those characters, you can start reading old books.
Evan Johnson
I wanted to differentiate from the widest net of normal people and the normal people who are fags. I don't have problems with fags, or indeed problems with normies, I am just agitated that our media has only three or four acceptable variants of disability and disabled people.
That's not even mentioning that the SJW's think of disabled people as their fucking mascots.
Ryan Robinson
So, I actually almost liked this. For the first 1/4th of it, I thought that this might be an interesting or fun read. Seeing Ms.Muslim and her buds deciding to make their own superhero team, one more worried about the collateral damage done in superpowered fights seemed like it might be fun, especially since they would have to build from the ground up. But it seems like they've completely ignored the logistics aspect of being an equivalent of the Avengers, and say that simply having a robot on your team is good enough.
Of course, the writing is shit too. Way too much happens in this one issue and it's barely connected.
Carter Parker
I don't know, I disagree about too much happening. I'm GLAD the pacing is actually enough to allow anything to happen in a single issue. Hell, it's more or less a complete story in ONE ISSUE. That's almost unheard of at Bendis's Marvel.
But yeah, this whole concept of them being hashtag heroes is pretty crazy. Are they just going to everywhere in the Hulk Wagon? It would actually be interesting to set it up as a much larger, but loose group of heroes though, basically a superpowered teen G.I.Joe, where each issue's roster consist of varying teams, and they all get together for only huge things. That way they get the whole "online movement" aspect of them being young, proactive characters from all over who band together as needed, and it's like a young, hip way to have the group organized. Like JLU, if their primary means of monitoring crimes was twitter. And everyone had a curfew.
Honestly, I'd base the whole concept of a young team thing on GamerGate. They all only share the most basic goal, but are on call to back eachother up, and constantly bicker over specifics and group direction.
Zachary Sanchez
I mean that they had too much going on that wasn't important. The pacing of the writing was shit. The whole bit with the mineshaft could have been shorter, or pretty much removed. Espeically since them finding out about the Sex Slave Clown was crammed the fuck in there because the issue was running out of time. The writing in the first 1/4th of the issue was actually decent, but as it continues, it acts like someone crammed the accelerator down and ruined the pacing of the last couple of pages.
Like I said, the mine shaft bullshit was pretty unecessary, at least to drag on for so long; and the fight at the very beginning could have been skipped and gone straight to the argument.
Hunter Garcia
That's what happens when you make escapist fantasy where your supposedly misunderstood and downtrodden minority beautiful, powerful and dangerously arbitrary. Rowling fell prey to that in Harry Potter where she presents the wizarding world as a refuge from all the people who had their feelings hurt by the Vernon Dursleys of the word and then made it perfectly clear that the central conflict is between people who hate muggles and Voldemort.