How to get laid you fuckos

Quitting Holla Forums and quitting masturbating got me laid. I only came here to tell you of my success. 21 days ago I stopped masturbating, watching porn, and coming to this filth hole. Today I lost my virginity to an absolute freak in bed who looks like pic related. You can decide for yourself if there is a correlation. Maybe I am turning into a chad- but every one of you fat virgins wishes you could be a chad. Imagine the you that you could be if you take the degeneracy out of your life. Some say you are the average of the 5 people you most hang out with, so if you are on here a lot then you are at least 1/5 disgusting faggotry. Cutting out porn and Holla Forums made me ballsy as fuck- I was horny and thought this girl was into me (protip- stop being fat and work out) so I straight up asked her if she wanted to bang in a bathroom of a movie theater. While you are here masturbating to ponies and animu, I have ascended. Will you follow my path? Or stay the degenerate you are. Do not allow yourself to make excuses. It is possible for everyone to be a chad - if you are not a bitch and can make the sacrifice. It was not easy. It was not pleasant. It is not over.

So what will it Holla Forums? Will you stay here forever, a neet virgin, making excuses of why you cant be a chad?

Or will you ascend?

Yeah right

But im not a virgin. I left degeneracy for a while and then returned after i decided real life sucked too so id just do what was easiest.

G O B A C K T O R E D D I T

You know some people don't behave like animals where the only thing on their mind is sticking their dick in a vagina.
The only thing you've "ascended" to is letting your primal urges control you to the point where you value your virginity more than anything else.

...

I would berry my dick so far inside her ass who ever could pull it out would be crowned king arthur

Right.

Riddle me this: if you didn't want to fuck women, would you want to have anything to do with them? Is there any appeal to their fickleness, dullness, treachery, turbulence, insanity?

The answer is "no" and you must realize this, to your horror, every time the sexual haze clears after you lay your load in her blown out skunk hole.

Op is that an alien?

I fear OP has made a grave error of judgement and will soon be devoured by this alien assuming human form. His primal urges have sent him to an early grave.

He said he lost his virginity. He didn't say which virginity. Me thinks OP got anal probed by that grey alien in his pic.

You could be right. It would make sense as OP as attempting to brag about his exploits, when the truth may come from another source: the back door.

Tl;dr but grats faggot

Ah, you see OP, I didn't come here because I'm a fat virgin loser, I got all of that out of the way at an early age, and once I had completed all of my normie checklist I renounced my normiedom and fleeted into the cave of a desert to become a hermit.

I have now mastered everything normal and absurd. I have transcended both normies and aspies.

low quality bait m8, apply yourself next time

wait till next week when you realize getting laid solves nothing.

I didn't choose the NEET life.
The NEET life chose me.

I'm in a sexual relationship and I masturbate to cartoons. What's your excuse for being exclusively 3DPD?

CAPPED

wew

Begone foul raving madman, I have walked 26 years on this path and will not let the likes of ye deter me. Soon you will know the fury of the wizard and ye will be licking the tip of my stave while I summon wild negroes to betrothed your buttocks.

Same thing happens to me week to week:

>Dont meet any girls literally

Why do so many people waste time on roasties? I mean yeah you get a feeling like shooting heroin around them and go crazy, but there's a reason why people don't shoot heroin.

Aside from that they're fucking terrible. Like, completely 100% insufferably bad.

Capping a pasta

Humans and women are fucking disgusting.

Man, neets like you should get a job so you have something to do besides writing fiction on Holla Forums

I'm glad you didn't get quads, faggot.

I dunno man. Out of the fuckin blue, that chick i assumed was a lesbo jumped on my cock and voilá. laid.

How's your asshole feel, faggot?

Hot dogged a girls butt Wednesday, that was a new one. Had never done that specific act to orgasm before, felt nice.
Congrats, nice blog post OP, now go lift.

You replaced porn with another outlet aka a promiscuous anorexic looking girl, congratulations.

I read dogs butt for a moment and thought you were posting about having sex with your dog.

I bet her pussy feels like a dead cod's gullet.

nigga, fuck you
do you know how big my pokemon rule 34 folder is
I don't know if that have that pic
;_;

When you're not a narcissist nor an aspie you can do both! Oh wait, you've got no self control so it's either 8chans, or nothing but sex to you

I paid 40 buck to a hobo.

I get laid, I masturbate to porn, and I go to Holla Forums.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?!

Most of us are already "chads" in your book. Most of us are just lurking here from boredom, son.

I master hate at least twice a day, visit this site every day, and bang a hotter girl than OP's pic 5+ times a week. Keep doing what you're doing anons

you have teh gay

I'm not aroused by cartoons. I mean I have fabled while high

Just become pedo.

>>>/sudo/22943