Questionable Malcontent - Ah Hell Naw Edition

This thread is for late night drunkards

here's your daily pile of shit

Someone in the last thread already pointed it out, but it needs to be said again.

FLESH HAND
L
E
S
H

H
A
N
D

Nah. Just nah. Not happening. If this ever happens I'll sell my gun and take up liberal arts college.

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When is Jeph going to become an hero?

stale forced meme is stale and forced

Hi Jeph.

Take your pills, Jeph. You don't want me to use the great big needle, right?

stop being of gay please

>have Shelby suck your actual dick
Pick 4.

Unless Jeph has a vital organ in his hands, or you consider substance abuse a form of an heroing, he'd never pluck up the courage.

and here's the lasagna there's no lasagna in this edit.

and I'm not fixing jeph's mistakes. but later, I will pretend it's foreshadowing.

Is that text on the blackboard what I think it is?

yes, yes it is.

I have bad news for you.

I like this subtle editfag

brilliant use of the last comics third panel

and sideways vazgeen.

You've also got to include unknown levels of shitty merchandise.

to get it exactly right I have to learn to into .svg, I think.

*record scratch*
*freeze frame*

You might be wondering what Fifty Shades Of Grey has to do with autistic robots, autistic hipsters, autistic coffee and impaled hands. The answer, of course, is NANOMACHINES, SON.

Thanks a lot for tainting Big Black for me, asshole.

So I punished myself with this podcast Jeph was on. If you can believe it, Jeph is the least worst thing about it. Listen to 60 seconds and you, too, will wish for death.

only made it to 9 seconds.

Bot hand returns

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Clit makes the best faces when looking at Claire.

Jeph's voice is way lower than I imagined it.

Randomly found this hand-stabbing guest comic Jeph did for someone else years ago.

Clin-ton

I know I should be easier on him, but Jeph sounds like a 13 year old who's starting to figure out how to work after getting a summer's worth in. Imagine at the age of 36 going to your boss and acting excited that you finally figured out how to work into tomorrow.

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Being president in the 90s is one of the few absolute guaranteed ways to be "90s as fuck".

This post also makes me hate Jeph even more because I will forevermore associate one of the few redeemable characters with these bastions of political corruption.

nice to get confirmation that he literally has no idea what he's doing with the comic

Goddamnit Jeph. Even outside of your comics, you somehow manage to ruin a character.

he's doing four panels of WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS five times per week.

Hillary Clinton damage control mode.

Oh Jeph you're so naive

I can't make out if he's being sarcastic here or not

(check'd)

i dont even know what to call this

I see Hillary has perfected the black magic of deflecting her strokes onto her followers

Delusion? Or maybe denial because he's going to be going through the rest of the stages of grief this election season.

Is he talking about the Drumpf name thing? Because that is both old news and gradeschool-tier name teasing.

It's hard to believe that there are really people this out of touch, but I can't deny such conclusive evidence.

This is either the most or the least self-awareness Handstab has ever demonstrated, and I'm honestly not sure which.

man, I honestly don't know…

those tweets come off as really sarcastic, but… its JJ…I'm so confuzed

He's running out of steam

this is the opposite of true, if you start gushing about your feelings out nowhere it makes people really fucking uncomfortable

People appreciate being told the truth (except libtards) so that's probably what he meant to say but it got all twisted around in his retarded mind

That hasn't stopped The Young Turks from trying to make #LoserDonald a thing.

That's not wholly true either though, human interaction is far too nuanced for this kind of simplicity…I mean if this was a children's cartoon teaching the basics of how not to be a jackass it's at least make sense…kinda

If you weren't banging it there's no point hanging around Emily, she's a fucking unreliable nut. That's oddles better than Dora though since unlike Dora Emily doesn't have spiders up her vagoo.

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Have a lazy Menstro sketch.

While I consider Menstro to be one of the only bearable characters in QC, I'm not sure that I actually like her so much as I like what she could be in the hands of a competent writer/artist.

Those are my exact sentiments on the matter. I would pay actual money for a comic with your version of Menstro in it. She looks boss as fuck.

by the way, I recall that many, many months ago you mentioned a plug-in for photoshop that helped smooth out your lines. Could you remind me what that was called?

"Hajime no Menstro" would be pretty entertaining to read.

Emilu now a foot shorter

holy shit jeph found a new way to draw dora off model in every panel. How can he forget how to draw a character whose been in this damn comic for a decade?

The source character is literally a muscle memory doodle.

All the character designs look completely off-model compared to the way they're drawn today. And it's not like Jeph has the excuse of him improving his art in the intervening time; he's just utterly incapable of drawing his characters consistently.

Dora looks taller, her face looks less like Marten. Faye doesn't look like a gigantic fat amorphous blob. Plus there's a whole bunch of other things I just can't quite put my finger on that are 'off'.

Oh, and he was still making an effort with the hair back then. It's a shame he stopped texturing hair and started doing lazy colour filling.

Dora grows a foot between panels 2 and 3.

Jeph has his "character sheets" but they're just more doodles. I think most artists' character sheets are full of proportion notes and height comparisons. This sketch from ~2010 represents the last time Jeph put any real effort in.

Whenever Jeph puts a cameo in it's always so out of place because there are never any background characters otherwise. The QC universe is a purgatory where all Jeph's friends go to roam the empty streets until they run into a main character and their existence has a brief purpose.

nah, Emily just went from leaning over the counter to standing up straight

But look at the lines. The top of Dora's head is level with Emily's eyes whether she's leaning or standing up straight.

The whole universe feels empty. It reminds me of the "Beverly Crusher episode" of TNG when she ends up the center of the universe created inside a static warp bubble or something.

and it's not like it would be that hard to build a library of background characters. he could probably knock 'em out in a guest week, and then he'd be able to populate backgrounds with palette-swapped hipsters in the same three or four poses.

I think the "two characters talking for four panels" ones are the strips I hate the most.

nothing is happening besides Clit's face pulsating.

Jeph used to occasionally draw background characters. I don't remember the strip number but there was the one where Hanners was left in charge of CoD and became paralyzed as 20 people gradually lined up.

As bad as he always was, the change to the 4 vertical panel view introduced other regressions such as greatly simplified backgrounds. He probably justifies it to himself by saying that putting more than two characters in a panel makes it look crammed, which it does, but that's a self-imposed limitation.

He is gradually loosening up on the hard four panel layout, but it's like a first year art student who's figuring out that scenes look more effective when everything isn't centered and in mechanical geometric proportion. It's like Jeph had a stroke in 2014 or 2015 and is gradually relearning. just to get back at a previous sub-mediocre level.

does jeph know that you don't have to fully detail background characters to make them recognizeable as people you exchange asspats with on twitter? like, you can just do a person-shaped silhouette with some minimal details to indicate clothing and a face, and it totally looks like there's somebody walking along the same sidewalk as the less interesting people QC is actually about.

Here's a comparison. Take the first three strips of InCase's Alfie and then the two most recent. InCase was already a good artist but has only improved over the last two years. Jeph is still at "figuring out how to draw basic shapes" level after 13 years.

For example the last two strips. Some of the characters have their backs to the camera or are dozens of feet away; makes it easier to not draw their faces that way.

I'm also far more invested in these characters than Jeph's even though it's a degenerate wank comic

so a comic in which things happen, instead of characters sitting around anWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS>

I was under the impression that Coffe Of Doom was vehemently against using generic coffeehouse terms when interacting with customers. Did Dora ditch that along with the shop's gruffness?

mah nigga

I only read elf twink sub for the plot I swear

Well, that's the thing. It's a good story masquerading as porn. The characters have actual motivations and do things to achieve their goals. Selfishness and personal interest plays a big role, as does the benefits and consequences of acting out on said interests. There is tension, positive and negative, between the characters. We are able to relate to various characters, even as their desires conflict with each other. Mrs. Tolman is a nasty, hypocritical woman but not unsympathetic.

In Questionable Content eternally 23 year old characters mark time for eternity. It's Homeostasis: The Webcomic.

It was said or implied during Faye's bitchfest at how CoD changed that Dora was mellowing out and the edgy thing wasn't in style anymore. In other words, QC became even blander. So Yelling Bird and his alternate universe are gone, Pintsize is minimized, Sven is minimized, CoD is blander. Even Hanners' OCD is not really a big thing anymore. Just a bunch of even tempered yuppies making small talk with each other.

Dora thrown out all her schtik around the time Jeph got himself a Patreon

It is amazing that in a comic where almost all named characters have had gay sex, there is an elf queer who sucks a mean cock and loves to be dressed in lingerie, and yet this guy right here is the biggest faggot by a wide mile.

I was surprised to discover that Alfie has 463 strips. I never really look at the numbering. I would have guessed 150 or so. It certainly doesn't feel that long, and I've read through it at least three times I think. InCase is a lot more prolific than I thought. I know he's on a regular schedule now but there were times when he didn't post for a few weeks.

In QC land, Alfie would have come back home off-screen and the following strip would have been two weeks in the future where everyone has calmed down and everyone is glad Alfie is back and that the tension has reset. Then Alfie goes back to work, making small talk with her father and mother, and everyone is reasonably satisfied exactly the way they are.

Oh, lol, looks like I jinxed it.

InCase has really grown as an artist doing Alfie. His sameface, while still present, has been less of a problem lately. His skin no longer looks plastic and it has actual texture and proper lightining (just compare the two pictures)

Don't forget introducing a new ethnic character for diversity points and quickly forget about her (because it's always going to be a "she")

That looks like something a true-blue NS would post
Did he become aware of the world around him in a short-lived episode of horrifying epiphany, or is he actually dumber than downs?

That sign doesn't prohibit them there grenades and knives, so the massacre is still on.

well there goes jeph's plan for a productive week.

Pepe may not be a strong frog but against an old woman with Parkinson's and epilepsy he appears to be a champion.

jesus fucking christ

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I can guarantee she would not like me. Joke's on her when she tries to spite-unfollow something I don't have.

Love how half the thing is about fashion yet we're supposed to be convinced this isn't an infiltrator.

She could have just said "I am the most shallow and self-absorbed person you've met all week" and saved everyone the trouble of reading that literal wall of text.

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Do you think she wrote that description herself?

Why are those people acting like that? It's pretty fucking obvious they have nothing to do with the "geek culture" they represent.

that's a tranny right?

I think that guy's leaning over far enough to qualify for the "fawning betas" folder.

who's the fag with anita

Some lucky fan getting some sideboob action.

CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!

We have to stand up for our precious virginities and chase the girls out of our clubhouse.

That guy doesn't need feminism. He needs a good hot dicking.

I never thought there would be a discussion of Alfie in these threads. I fucking love you guys.

Also, I too read the elf twink parts only for the plot.

Is that the gnomish billy mays

those empty blackboards are triggering me though

Are you really that surprised?

I couldn't think of something funny for emily to say in the last panel

It should have been:

Yes.

This pisses me off more than the rest of it. She clearly understands that loving a game enough to choose One More Level instead of sleep is a very common trait amongst those who take videogames seriously, but then she has the gall to back up and say that that trait is too hardcore for her, confirming the fact that she has never played a videogame that she really loves. Despite this, she still insists that she has a god-given right to be taken seriously when talking about said games simply because she has a vagina.

DON'T ANSWER THAT
A RHETORICAL QUESTION

oh right. because of jeph's weird update schedule, it's already two friggin' days time.

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there's a new die antword album out?

My understanding was that she's trying to make a joke out of the fact that she's pretending that she doesn't do it. Which still makes no sense at all, given that the whole poster is her spiel about not needing to hide her GEEK GIRL status from anyone.

But then, I'm expecting logical consistency from geek poseurs.

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Every fucking time it's some clique cunt. Without fail.

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twitter.com/efuktdotcom/status/777245083326357505

some buzzfeed article: "However, Cantone’s death brought a fresh wave of abuse from websites like 4chan."

inb4 Jeph's patreon is held hostage until he starts retconning these old shitlord jokes of his and pays penance by prostrating himself before the altar of feminism

I hate posters that split text like this.

DON'T DEAD
OPEN INSIDE

Due giorni fottuti!

I don't speak spaghetti, care to translate?

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3790966/Humiliated-Italian-woman-commits-suicide-sending-sex-tape-ex-boyfriend-taunt-uploads-Internet.html

LOL, fuckin rekt.

I love how it's everyone else's fault according to the article.

and of course it's because of misogyny and memes that the video was "leaked".

What a wonderful way to start my morning.

tizianacantone.com/

scroll down to the third one for audio

She sucks like a pro. She's probably been on the carousel since age 12.

SHE'S A FUCKING DOUGHBALL
A CHILD COULD BEAT HER UP

Dunno about children, but a drunk pasty-ass skeleton totally can pull one off I did beat up like seven of these "people" through last two years because they tried to pick shit with me, usually while i was drunk and trying to buy another bottle. Not really proud of it, felt like i'm actually fucking up a sack of shit because I never got any resistance.

*pls no more raep

More brilliant sketching

TEXT TEXT TEXT

I almost chuckled.
Almost.

Love how this guy gloats on Twitter all day how productive he is but can't manage to consistently post comics to his website. It's an enormous window, too. It's as early as 8 PM Eastern time and as late as 3 or 4 AM. This guy is home all day long yet has black holes up to 8 hours.

I'm no artist, but shouldn't the face and the head line up?

neither is jeph

Don't forget the nose should be at the intersection.

Jeph always does everything in one line. It's really tentative. You can see it in action with the infamous "start with the eyes" video. Everyone else I've ever seen keeps working the lines until inking. Look up literally any tutorial.

Also, seriously, Jeph's posting delay is equivalent to missing an entire day of work.

you had one job, jeph.

I did it with my moooooooooouuuuuusssssssse

eat shit jeeepppppppphhhhhh

I like that female robot bums are a possibility in this universe.

Bubbles has a criminal past and Faye is going to have to choose between defending or condemning her actions.

Or Faye is about to become unemployed again.

Given the pieces already in place, some sort of power play or dilemma involving the bigoted purple boss bot would transpire, but, knowing Jeph, whatever this is will be explained and resolved tomorrow and Faye will be recounting the event one at a time to Marten, Hanners, Dora, etc. into mid-October.

she's probably going to turn out to be nice, because any kind of conflict would be out of character for jeph.

will never happen in this comic because jeph is a fucking hack

Remind me, why is the sport of robot fighting, a sport in which no one actually gets hurt or even experiences pain and all the participants fight voluntarily for the fun of it, illegal again?

Same reason why marijuana or guns are illegal in a lot of places - government hates fun

I love the 2nd amendment and I love muh guns but I can at least understand the reasons for governments wanting to ban them, even if I completely disagree with them. I enjoy weed every now and then but I can understand that a good reason for keeping it illegal (for now) is the continued uncertainty over whether it is implicated in causing susceptible individuals to develop schizophrenia. Guns and weed are indeed fun activities but not entirely without risk.

Robot fighting on the other hand…based on what Handstab has shown and told us about it, there are no risks. It's fun and risk free. It's basically a life-size version of rock 'em sock 'em robots. There is no way for the robot to die because the core that the actual AI is contained in is nigh indestructible. Bodies can be easily repaired or replaced.

Why is this sport illegal?

Oh wait I just answered my own question while thinking about it as I wrote this post, it's because Handstabber is a hack writer and wanted to put some element of daring-do and risky business into his bland unflavoured porridge of a story but didn't think far enough ahead (i.e. he didn't think beyond the comic in which he said it was illegal and has now written himself into a corner, because von Hanßtow doesn't have any idea where the plot is going or any over-arching plot lines - he just makes shit up on the fly. This is one of the things that causes the comic to be so terrible and awful, it's just a poorly thought out hodgepodge).

It does show a serious lack of imagination; he creates all these technologies to appear in his world and then doesn't know what to do with them beyond, "Uhm… beaming down pizzas! lawl!"

He could do *anything* with this technology level; he's barely laid the ground rules so there's still plenty of room for imagination.

But in the earlier example, his super power source can barely power a prosthetic hand for a single day - Clit said he "usually" gets a full day's use before needing a recharge.

Seems to me that he can only really write what he knows; the boring, aimless existence of a cluster of serial losers with no ambition or goal.

I can understand that a good reason for keeping it illegal (for now) is the continued uncertainty over whether it is implicated in causing susceptible individuals to develop schizophrenia.

Actually no. Like alcohol prohibition, making a thing illegal reduces the safety standards on the thing, increases the popularity, prevents research into whether the thing is harmful, and funds organised crime.

If the government wanted to limit the number of people negatively affected by weed, they would legalise it, research its effects, encourage ways to consume it that don't cause cancer, regulate dosages, and make a sweet profit off of taxing it.

The ban isn't carefully considered, it's just "thing bad. Must punish people who do thing" level logic.

Jeph is just fucked up, he talks like a fag and his shit's all retarded

And all damage is cosmetic and easily repaired by a non-expert welder.

Makes you wonder about the genesis of this strip. Marten was auto-biographical to start with: recently out of college stuck in a dead-end temp type job processing paperwork, just like Jeph. I wonder if everyone Jeph knew moved on from the band they talked about since high school and got real jobs; Jeph's degree is in music, after all. If that's the case then early QC basically served as imaginary friends.

That's the rationale behind a lot of things SJWs want to ban, though.

why is Robocop looking behind her or into the extreme periphery of her vision while talking to Faye?

also why doesn't a law enforcement robot have eyes in the back of her head? if not in the literal sense in order to blend in with people, sensors that perform the same function but do not appear as such to the untrained eye?

This is a world where they recruit jobless bums to do jobs where you would send a James Bond-tier agent.A world where Faye did outsmart and bully two federal agents.

How efficient do you think law enforcement is?

but it's robot law enforcement. it should automatically be more efficient than regular law enforcement.

Efficient robot enforcement would involve a color-shifting flying camera that was only as large as the lens assembly and propulsion method needed to be. The camera itself could be sentient or just a dummy controlled by a sentient mainframe.

But this is QC where everything is humanoid because "empathy" so nothing makes sense. If the goal here was to have a physically pleasing form to elicit answers in an interrogation, then why does this robot have a less advanced chasis like May's rather than Momo's or the droids at the chasis store?

Again, nothing makes sense.

STEVE IS NOT A JOBLESS BUM YOU FUCKING SWINE

HOL UP HOL UP when did this happen? Christ, this comic is so nightmarishly bland that I can't remember anything that's ever happened, besides the Trappening and the Stabbening.

I want to say that it's because it is underground and the gambling on it is unregulated and therefore the government isn't getting any revenue from the betting, but more likely it is because Jeph is an idiot. Either that or because of the fears that in an unregulated industry some of the fighters may be doing it against their will in debt slavery or something like that.

It was way back in the OG days

Jeph's note for strip 147. He was slacking even back then.

if he had stayed black-and-white, maybe he would be ready for color by now.

At that time he was still a hobbyist and working for a living, so I'm willing to cut him a little slack.

I forget that Dora was the sorta techie of the group. That mysteriously vanished, probably around the time Marigold came on board.

Jesus Christ.

True, but only for about two more months.

He was jobless and not taking care of himself after a breakup. I know you want to defend your husbando, but let's not kid ourselves. He is doing far better now, he even stopped seeing his retarded friends.

🎶🎶 Suicide Is Painless 🎶🎶

Have you considered not everyone loves you?

His coloring is barely better than fill tool and he didn't even bother to fill in the black zones other than sunglasses. Shits lazy yo

His coloring is literally a fill tool.

Hey, it's tension. I'll take it. Jeph's even admitted that basically no one gets hurt.

oh, wow. I was expecting the next strip to be totally unrelated - Brun & R'në, Clit & Claire or Marten & Claire - with this storyline being returned to in six weeks.

Faye only looks perturbed because the robot that offered to get her pie left without paying.
Gotta give credit at least jeff made the last panel an angle shot even if the scenery out of the window has a strange angle.

That's coming. After watching Brun's door-to-door job search for two straight weeks, Faye will regale her experience of almost getting arrested until the situation was resolved by–PINTSIZE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE REFRIGERATOR?!

Panel 2 threw me off because it looks like the robot is being served the pie.

You mean the black eternal void empty of hope that this diner seems to be floating in?

Yes, or to be more precise how handstab managed to fuck up a parallel line.

Maybe he's going for something like this

Considering how far back the uninterrupted straight line goes before the abrupt slant it seems unlikely, especially because all the examples you show have little to no unslanted sections.

I guess I won't be combining this with the new strip after all.

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Et tu, Leth?

She's gonna be one large meat popsicle

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Huh. Setting up a snitch is actual beat cop police work, so I can't find much to complain about this time. I guesa we're witnessing one of Jeph's lucid moments before he plunges back into the void.

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So illegal gambling and violence and weapon modifications aren't a problem.

But if someone's feelings get hurt

that's a problem

I can only assume the "person" being taken advantage of, in this case, is Punchbot.

That motherfucker is clearly retarded.

Holy shit, that's exactly what I said

STOP COPYING MY POSTS JEPH

If this isn't confirmation that he peruses these threads to poach ideas because he's terminally uncreative, what is?

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That's why you need to remember to meme responsibly, or the memeteor gonna come get us and then everyone is fucked.

Im pretty sure Holla Forums already fucked shit up with this /fringe/ shit before by accident.

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You left out an important step. It's a four part conversation between two people.

>It would be extremely painful
>For you

Jeph leads a hard life.

He has to demonstrate how hard his life is to get permission to draw black people.
So now he understands the struggle of The Black Man !

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Translator's note: 'Keikaku' means 'plan'

Please to be at servic…
Oh.

More from Handstab

Jeph's trying into perspective but it looks like their faces are melting.

Not just that Martin's looking more Dora than usual.

This is terrible.

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No matter how many times I see this, that last panel completely annihilates my sides.

Marten's really settling into that "twink with GRIDS" look.

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All according to keikaku.

What did he mean by this

He's such a hip and happenin' musician that he keeps a load of guitars in a great big pile so high that it's capable of causing injury.

You know, as any serious, professional musician would do.

What's Questionable Malcontent?
I only know it as the "One with the Trans Ginger"

Uncle Augusto called, your ride is here.

Cool

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Has that mercury rev poster appeared ever again?

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I think Marten is talking about lasagna.

W-wow man.

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Remember when Hanners was supposed to have a crush on Marten and low-key stalk him? I'm pretty sure that is when she would have learned lockpicking.

Then again, it's only been 8 to 26 months since this comic started, so I guess everything is okay the way it is.

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Hannelore Prime: deranged yet waifu. She even threatens to turn (((Marten))) into a lampshade.

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Press F to pay respects.

Requesting pr0n of perky tits Hannelore please.

Holy shit, Hannelore actually had a personality back then…

I guess the reason Jeph turned up the autism was because it was a personality that could actually result in conflict and in a way that makes her look bad.
Safer for him to turn her into a simpering, emotional wreck like everyone else.

The thing with said personality is that Proto-Hanners was basically yet another sarcastic, quippy chick whose sole purpose was to bust Marten's balls. Essentially, she was Faye 3.0 ( Dora was and still is Faye 2.0) so that's probably why she got the rewrite.

Each iteration of Faye got better though, and with Hannelore/Faye 3.0 he'd finally started to make her somewhat likable.

And then we got to Black Faye (Renee) and we came full circle.

that's perfect

I love that even Jeph knew he made a mistake and semi-sarcastically hand waived it away with Hannelore taking "different pills". Though why anyone would want to switch medications from a set that allowed you to function normally in public to another that made you a barely functional shut-in is beyond me.

Anyway, this admission sparked a wall of text topic on the forum where all the Tumblr mental health professionals made cases in earnest abour how this was a totally plausible explanation and not Jeph retconning a character rewrite.

are any characters in QC not taking brain pills?

I've had a dream in which jeph made a note under a strip that said he hadn't been taking his meds. unfortunately I don't remember what the strip itself was about.

I think most of them should, but only Claire, Hanelore, and Faye take them regularly.

I'm no medication expert but from what I understand a lot of medication is often just shit like meth or something as bad. You can be functional now but it'll destroy your brain in the long term.

It's reasonable to not want to trade your long term mental health for short term functionality.

Remember when Marigold was a hoarder living in filth? And then Hannelore instantly cured her by cleaning up her room, like that could ever happen?

It's a lesson that all unhygienic NEETs should learn. All you need to do in order to suddenly not have problems and be pretty and have lots of sex is to randomly befriend your roommate's friends and give in to all their demands.

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WHY PEOPLE KEEP ANGERING THE MILITARY GRADE ROBOT

no, jeph. I got two friggin' days.

Conductor, we have a problem.

Wait

Why the fuck is bubbles getting angry? What her boss said is objectively true. If the cops bust the spot she's living rent free she loses her job and her home and probably the military grade body she somehow has.

At which point she'll likely end up crashing at Marten's place, which will still be rent-free because Marten was apparently born without a spine.

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I'm really not sure where purple bot is going with this. Did she just order Menstro to take out that agent?

Actually, I gave it a bit of thought and realized that, in a better comic, Menstro would earn her keep by attacking other bots and delivering their parts to the shop.

It would be just like the scenerio where you get knocked out in a dark alley and wake up with stitches where your kidney used to be, but the AI would get knocked out and wake up in the public library as a naked core plugged in to the desktop USB.

Purplebot is being a good friend and telling menstro to dump faye

For what it's worth I think that's an amazing idea that absolutely warranted repeating digits, but alas…

Can Menstro crush the supposedly indestructible robo-core? How much better would this thing be if she did that in a fit of PTSD rage and then Faye has to weigh loyalties, personal safety, and morality? Maybe even Marten could even put his foot down when finding out what Faye's covering up, unloading years of emotional baggage onto her as he shouts that he's had enough of her personality that wilts everything around her.

Also just to nit-pick - that spanner wouldn't bend that way in a clenched fist.
In fact, assuming it actually fits in Menstro's hand it would barely bend at all.

It also wouldn't make a crunching noise, now that we're at that.
Unless they're using polymer spanners which is fucking retarded.

Fuck it, I'm doing the same shit niggas

Mine will be full of dykes and ayylmaos instead

They aren't even trying anymore…

This is a thread about a barely-popular webcomic where the author is making more in a year than people with actual careers doing actual jobs and you ask why they keep this shitty fake geek charade?

Seriously nigga?

Is always a tranny

Isn't this the same cunt who made those comics being a catty bitch about scene-girls/faux punk chicks being all the same while thinking they are original and unique?

The irony is too high to be measured…..

Wrong, bitch is trying to appeal to other tryhards like her who will fund her patreon and buy shit from her wishlist while backing her kickstarter which she will fail to deliver yet keep all the money

Are you implying you need a vagina to pull this sjw bullshit anymore?

Of course, Robocop has to skulk around, because it's not as if anyone can just follow the hordes of other robots and walk into the souper sekrit skate park, walk up to the nearest robot and ask if they are a famous underground fighting robot and ask for their autograph.

Too bad the investigator can't work undercover. Sure would be convenient if she were a generic street gray-bot who could feign chip on her shoulder, possibly through some sort of LEO training, instead of an out of touch human or upper-class aristocratic bot like Momo living in fantasy land.

True, and as we all know, robots in the Stabiverse are stuck in their chassis forever, so there is no chance of the police having a range of humanoid and non-humanoid bodies for detecives to swap between for surveillance work.

I'm reading all of this with a cringed face
because I know the simple answer is to just not walk up to people and yell "I'M A COP I'M A COP I'M A BIG BIG COP"
I don't even have an image in my reaction folder with a face suitable to the one I'm making, so I drew it.

...

That's an interesting face to make.

What the fuck did you expect from the magnificent Palmo Perforatio? Good writing?

I know I said I'd dig up some older OC but at the moment these are all I've come up with. I have a lot of backed up files to go through though, but it mostly seems like I was more focused on saving Grievous-tan images at the time.

It warms my heart to know that someone, somewhere, saves my scribbles from falling down the Memory Hole.

Would it be helpful to our archivists if I were to dump everything that I've made for these threads?

I'm the only active archivist truth be told. I've been lax on updating the git this month though, so I'd certainly appreciate it. There's a section specifically for your stuff in the OC repository.

I'll see about dumping everything I've got once we hit auto-sage.

This is kinda funny. Beyonce is a rich kid who spent her childhood in private art schools and had daddy assemble her a band at age 10. Justin Vernon is about 1% as wealthy and actually has a (minor) degree in Women's Studies.

This Alice Grove project is taking a real nosedive. Jeph is solidly in the dead webcomic stage of "It'll be up any day now, guys! I promise! Just been busy blah blah."

One of these doesn't belong.

At least one of his backers isn't totally deluded.

just another reminder that "privileged" means pretty much the opposite to these folks as it does to the dictionary

i keked mightily

Rekt.

Too bad more people don't get the hint like this fine gentleman.

Fuck this, I want the grudge.

Drawing it being unzipped is easy, but drawing it being taken off is just too hard I guess.

I'm starting to hate this storyline.
especially trying to have these characters say the same things in less wordswordswordswordswords because that's still the same characters and the same ideas.

Good job Jeph.

She was just…holding it there. Holding and thinking.

unf

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1 redpilled, 999 to go

Menstro suddenly looks anime for no reason

Everyone is starting to look anime. The day of reckoning has come.

Pulled this out of my Recycle Bin. Jeph said in an adjacent post that he was sick of living to others expectations and that he was going to write and draw how he wanted.

R E A L I S M
R
E
A
L
I
S
M

fuggg :DDD

Holy shit, he actually thinks he's been "realstic" up till now?!

Maybe everyone in his neighbourhood has a chin like Mr Punch.

Fuck me, that's actually an improvement.

Also, forgot to answer earlier. It's called "Lazy Nezumi." Definitely a time-saver when you need to keep your linework clean.

Thanks brah.

I always thought Jeph's previous style(s) with exaggerated proportions and heavy lines were an improvement. Yeah, it was more by accident than design but it worked, at least worked better. His later work falls in the uncanny valley of trying to be something it's not and sticking out because of that.

I guess this experiment is kill.

the idea was to take a week's worth of QC and compress them down to one or two pages that tell the story (such as it is) and omit filler.

the idea went down like a knife aimed at jeph's palm, but at least you can see how 3 friggin' days of QC could fit in one.

scheming

I love that that Jephy boy is making this high-stakes espionage /outlaws plot from something that amounts to gambling

couldn't Robocop have wanted a cut, at least?

It ties with the ongoing theory that Jeph browses this thread and tries to sabotage it. He finally had a week with more than a page's worth of things happening.

In the end he might end up becoming a half-decent artist out of all this bullying.

I love that jephy boy has taken illegal gambling on an underground robot fighting ring and made it boring.

also lewds of Menstro/Robocop/May like this when

it omits unnecessary words or else it gets bitchslapped with the Strunk & White again. Claire_Goodbye_Horses.webm

drawfag here. Pick one of the three and only one.

oh goddamn it.

Menstro probably makes the most in-story sense, but that is not necessarily the most appealing. could decide by strawpoll?

Sure why not

Dem thighs

Baggyfag checking in. I'll get in on this also. Other drawfag has first dibs, though.

we got two drawfags with their hands on their pencils ready so rev up those requests!

Casting my vote for baggyfag to do Menstro. I have really liked his previous work with her.

Other drawfag can do May

Am I allowed to ask for Momo?

If you are a third drawfag we could complete the robo-triad. If not, I'm taking May already and I guess the popular opinion is for baggyfag to take Menstro

...

Ugh, too realistic. A kawaii desu desu sexbot sounds great until you have to put up with this.

Oh no that is what Momo would sound like isn't it? You just made me hate Momo.

I second these picks. Also, can someone post baggyfag's old Menstro drawing? I don't seem to have it saved.

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I have these.

(chanting goes here)

No, sorry, I meant as in asking for Momo to be added to the que.

Why not, just hang out for May first.

~alternately~

Since I'm going slower than usual, here's a preview and what I'm ripping off

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That's fantastic

And your sketch looks good too
But really, I do like your style

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I'm about to call it for tonight, but I'll toss a WIP of my own on the pile first. I'm not referencing any specific artwork from GitS, mostly just going by my gut.

If I recall, it's canon in QC that (beyond all reason) Menstro has a soft-case body underneath all that armor.

I often forget that Menstro doesn't even have a real name in QC. She's just "Bubbles."

Nice!

Nigger, you better not be talking shit about R. Dorothy.

thank you anons and baggyfag, also here is the Momo preview. I think I'm repeating myself but I'm going to blame Masamune Shirow instead.

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...

No colors because sleepy already, but if I get some time later this week I'll get back to this one.

Good night /qmc/ and keep your hands out of harm's way

Also I said, hey wouldn't make more sense to just rotate it? I guess I'm operating on sleep logic already. See ya tomorrow anons

This sounds like a "fuck off we're full" but who am I to judge. I can't even take a joke on the internet.

I don't know how to feel.

Make yourself a robo waifu, obviously.

Shitty memes.

Got a bunch of stuff to say about the general anatomy, but this is QC thread and not drawfag thread so I'll refrain.

"You know our motto: We deliver!"

I'd forgotten how much I love that oldschool "shiny mecha" aesthetic.

If you want to draw some sexy Menstro also, don't let anyone stop you. I doubt anyone in the thread would object to more /clang/, especially since we're in auto-sage.

What a qt.

Pick one Jeph

Perish the thought.

Off topic but I miss the 90s when you could put your robo-waifus in a box for later use and no one would complain. Now they need "rights" and shit.

God damn that's good.

I'm searching for a job right now, but once I get some money to spend I'm thinking I might ask you to draw a comic I've written. I don't know if you have any interest in that sort of thing, but I really need an artist and you're one of my favorites, so I figured I'd check.

And also it would save me the headache of working with some fucking normie.

I haven't drawn anything nsfw in a while actulally

The only thing more mediocre than jeph's tweets are the people who reply to him. Whatever happened to twitterbully?

Twitter Bully got filtered out of existence. Twitter's becoming like Facebook where you need to give them your cell phone # etc for every account.

Jeph is getting dangerously close to the truth about media narratives in that top tweet there. I wonder if he'll realize what's actually going on?

I'm joking, of course.

I have no idea why I even thought of this.
Every fucking time I see Momo i think "she belongs to a female otaku, bitch is probably just an animated sex doll"

Why are they proportioned like long limbed children

Because I'm gay

Why was the first thing that came to my mind the potential horror of getting your ball sack caught in May's hip joint while slamming her doggy style?

If, say, Ian Jones Quartley from Steven Universe tweeted out "I'm so sick of thug niggers", do you think he'd get such cheers?

It's funny saying this as a long time image board denizen but how can anyone be this socially autistic? This non-binary thing looks like xir's 50 years old.

After seeing this I read this thing's name as "whitey".

And I was going to say fuck whitey for the first time since I stopped being an SJW.

WHAT A FAGGOT!
I know that feel though. I was half an inch away from becoming one myself. The Koolaid looks so tempting when you're a young man whose alone and confused.

are…. are we teaching him?

I came from a family of liberals. It's a miracle that I was ever able to break the conditioning at all.

Iraqi Peppermint Patty's naivete is cute

I hope every time she didn't know what to answer she wrote "I don't know how to interpret that application question."

I would have missed the anime reference if he hadn't referenced it in the title/bottom left. Since when does JJ know how to be subtle?

subtlety is an oppressive tool of the white male patriarchy.

honeybee, let's fly to mars.

Just realised…
Chad got his nose busted in the past few days, strip-time, right?

Yeah, Jeff… Your style was positively bursting with realism.

I-i'm confused with this one. Are the first five panels IPP's imagination?

Anyone got the ""fan"" comic where pintsize talks about putting on a meatsuit and tranny mc. trans gets triggered?

Sounds a bit like like this Plebcomic but not quite.

Jeph still peacocking for Matilda.

Shelby has lost the will to resist Jeph's "charms".

Please, please, please Jeph start pandering to these Deviantart degenerates.

Totally appropriate pacing for a comic that updates about three times per month.

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How the fuck did nightcrawler pass out from drinking what is clearly orange juice?

I mean, it's got no head of foam or carbonation and is orange rather than amber, gold, or a shade of brown, so it's clearly juice.

Yes but it's space juice

Maybe Handel Stabsen only ever seen american carbonated urine they call "beer"
That shit doesn't look like beer to any sane person.

You would think a hipster would know more about craft beer though. It's the only thing that hipsters get right.

"Craft beer" can suck my uncut half-jewish dick, it costs too much and loses to a regular stout or porter in terms of both taste and hardness.

Clearly you don't live in Asheville. The beer here is like nectar of the gods. It's almost enough to make one forget that they're surrounded by hipster degenerates.

hipsters also like PBR, but I guess that's when they're being ironic.

That's true. I had a hipster friend who loved the stuff. Frankly I think that I would even prefer a Bud Light over that shit, but then again I've never had either beer since I graduated, so the horror isn't fresh in my memory.

He's trying to remove kebab

Matilda's mad that brown terrorists have passed her on the progressive stack.

Oh boy, here we go.

But Chad gets cucked by Marten. How can any man be two levels below Marten?

If someone was going to be cucked by marten, Clint was the obvious choice. Even the hipster poet gets laid by the blonde that gets confused for a superhero

maybe JJ realized how much of a cuck martin is and is trying to un-cuck him by piling beta's underneath him.

wait a sec…
Is he a race traitor?

R'në's pun was physically painful.

...

...

Germanic barbarian hordes will fuck anything.

Wouldn't surprise me. I have been fucking up anatomy for long and the pose was complicated for me already (now I realize it looks like an elongated laying down thing instead of sitting in a chair backwards)

I, too, know something about fucking up anatomy.

And thus Jeph transparently sets up IPP getting a job at CoD, which everyone here guessed as early as the bar burning down.
Also, since when does Dora sell coffee beans to competing establishments?

...

Since the owner of the competing establishment wanted to get into Dora's pants

I don't remember the details but it went like this:

That's the one

You forgot:

Why does this fucker look like he's drooling. fucking hell i though my monitor was fucking up just looking at him in every panel.

How much do you wanna bet that this thing with Clit, Chad, and IPP ends in an open three-way relationship that'll be oh so progressive in an attempt to pump out more patreonbux?

As a former member of an open three way relationship, I can say that it's amazing until the chick gets clingy and the guy who was begging you to rail him decides he doesn't like it any more and the chick takes herself off birth control without telling anyone and convinces your ex-twink to not wear condoms while they have sex while you're at work so that she gets pregnant and they both decide to leave you "for the baby" and you have to move out of the apartment because everything gets super awkward after the kid is born

On the plus side, you'll get to have painful mixed feelings about the fact that their relationship isn't going well because they don't have you to be the emotionally stable one for them any more

I thought that story was going somewhere else, like she gets to collect two child supports because the child has two fathers in its life. That's coming soon if it doesn't exist already. Stepfathers and unknowing cucks until the paternity test already get slammed with "in the child's life" support.

...

People say it every time old strips from around this era (#2000~) are posted, and I say it every time - holy fuck Jeph's art used to be so much better.

Just look at it. Compare it to the garbage he puts out today. The difference is stunning. He got so lazy over the 5 years.

Also Faye doesn't look like a giant fucking whale.

If only jeph had never been bullied to self-stabbing by tumblrinas and succumbed to those patreonbux

Yeah, Padma actually has an attractive design. And Jeph did more with posing back then, like in 1922 where Padma adjusts her stance between panels.

Also, these panels are properly landscape and thus don't look simultaneously crammed and sparse with two squished characters and 67% ceiling.

This is the most perplexing thing about it. 100% of that Patreon is found money. Jeph got along without those funds for a decade, and he was married to boot. $120,000/yr is enough to hire a staff for QC and almost certainly Alice Grove as well. All Jeph would need to do is be George Lucas and answer lore questions and whether or not plot point X is in character or not.

Even if Jeph had to pay out 100% of that, which he wouldn't because that'd put the per strip production cost at $330 assuming none were ever missed or filler was never used, he'd probably still make money because he'd probably have one of the most customer oriented Patreons out there and thus would be a target for further investment.

It took a while for Jeph to learn how to draw anything other than noodle people (he gave fucking Gabe Newell a small gut and nothing else) so characters like Faye who were supposed to be curvy, never looked like that until that time.

of course the handstabbening came and suddenly everyone won 20 pounds, lest the landwhales get angry again.

You gotta remember Jeph is notoriously stupid about spending his money

It wouldnt surprise me his patreonbux are barely enough to cover all that shit.

Makes sense. Jeph has addiction problems in multiple areas of his life so him scaling income to his addiction level is plausible.

...

and also this

Didn't realize Rainbow Flyer had done more work since this.

And, of course, Liquidmark's glorious contribution.

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...

Faye looks a lot like Jeph's ex-wife in this comic…

Best use of Faye

comic sans.ttf

Nice to see Jefjaks is starting to throw all pretense of his female characters being 'curvy' out the window and is just drawing them as flat-out FAT.

That's an improvement in the art, I guess…more realistic…

Jeph bragging again about his awesome ability to start work before 11:00 PM.

Words all great artists live by.

We've done it! We've meme magicked Jeph into an actual zoophile rapist!

way to ensure the retarded fans have the malware equivalent of charlie sheen's immune system, jeph.

oh, he wants the edits to stop.

The answer is no.

Also, this writer is shit for not knowing the difference between biweekly and semiweekly.

No, nigger.

Huh, I looked it up and apparently biweekly means both every other week AND twice per week. WTF, this makes the word amiguous and totally meaningless.

Comics Alliance also has an article on QC. The coments are worth reading.

good thing jeph can't adhere to either schedule.

...

...

I might be inclined to believe her if I hadn't been paying attention to her actions since IPP was introduced.

...

I will never understand some artists. Imagine the effort and sheer hours you have to put in the get your art to that point. Then, once you've finally gotten that good you decide to create shit like that. Blows my mind.

Commander, tear this ship apart until you find the Death Star Plans *.otf!

So what is it?

I don't. I've used ArmyPainter's spray primers in the past. They have a slightly rough, pebbly texture. I'm sure they're fine for bulk painting, but I like my minis to be display-piece quality. Their washes are pretty good, but nothing that can't be matched by Citadel or mixing washes yourself.

seems to be this, from Comicraft / comicbookfonts.com

lol wut? This looks like something that you'd find bundled in a $15 font pack. It's probably not even Unicode.

How'd you track this down, anyway?

checking to see if Blambot mentioned any new fonts, Blambot retweeted this article:

pipelinecomics.com/5-common-webcomics-lettering-mistakes/

checked Comicraft for lettering fonts with upper and lowercase and started looking at previews and voila.

oh, okay. that makes the price tag slightly less ridiculous. it's a bundle of four fonts, even though you only need the "regular" because even MS Paint can make text bold, italic, or bold italic.

"international" characters are probably just accent marks, though. whòóptÿ-dõö.

I fucking hate "borderless" panel-balloons. This guy's advice is shit. The solution is to resize the fucking comic and realize it's not 1967 and we have only 3 inches to squeeze the thing into a newspaper. Or take the hint that you're too verbose and cut the text down or make two strips out of it. If you can't make two strips out of it then your comic is boring and the readers will skip the text anyway.

It's the blah factor I object to more than the price. The font looks bad. You can get actual typesetting fonts for that. For example, ITC Garamound runs $35 per face and you can actually put that in a newspaper.

at least they're not borderless panels. I'll give him that.

that seems to be the bigger problem with whatever he got that from. either version of the balloons could look decent depending on the layout, but that's just tiny squares. it wouldn't surprise me if the entire strip was either four identically sized squares in one row or two rows of three.

The most consistent thing I've noticed about Reddit is that the buried threads are the best ones.

Yeesh. A quarter of this person's posts are sucking Stabby's dick.

The guy is right: every time I go to QC Reddit Turkeypedal is there making retarded posts. He's worse than anyone on the forum and that's saying a lot. He probably couldn't survive there. As hugbox as the place is, they don't tolerate any sort of cancer, even if it's against critics.

...

Nothing wrong with meat

Holy shit, I didn't realise the imbalance between male and female characters until I read that.
feels weird man.

M E M E
A
G
I
C

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Yup, that's Faye alright.

so when is Clit going to get BLACKED.com by R'në?

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Jeph has finally learned how to keep a side stash of "evergreen" filler to use when he gets behind his main arc(s).

Why do I get a gnawing feeling that this is a carbon copy of some other strip.

Hanners is seriously a perfect example of characters whose series' don't deserve them.

To be fair there's no shortage of strips where Hanners freaks out.

She already freaked out about bugs in the basement. Unless she's developing memory problems to compliment her other issues, Jeph just made a joke about an issue that was resolved previously and hoped that nobody would notice.

It wasn't that long ago…strip 3000-ish?

maybe she changed her meds again

Even more recent

I'm just here for the Hannelore lewds.

WHY IS THERE NOT MORE? :'(

I'll share the few I have.

I'll bet Hanners lost any remaining feelings for Martin the instant she realized that he was probably pozed from the tranny.

...

Holy shit, those gifs annihilated my sides.

jeph also fucked up and posted that when he meant to post this

...

can't stop the lasagna.

Я не понимаю, к чему это тут вообще.

Russians are the #1 source of warez.

Ah. Okay then. I still fail to see the connection тбх семья

I "like" how the first paragraph under what makes it special is how great it is that Jeph gets to indulge himself.

Yes, that is why I should read this comic. Because the author is enjoying himself. Wtf.

I wish Hanners had been created by another artist, She deserves better than being filler for handstab's tumblr-approved knock off of Friends

this comic made me smile, why can't JJ consistently be this halfway decent?

Yo! Archivefag! I'm going to see about following up on what I'd said earlier in the thread and dump the OC that I've made for Malcontent. I checked the git folder, and I'll try to avoid reposting what's already been cataloged in there.

Reposting the Menstros from earlier in the thread, for the sake of having all this in one place.

I think this accounts for all the proper drawfagging I've done specifically for QM (in addition to what's already in the git folder).

Moving on now to edits and other miscellaneous OC. Classify it in whatever folder seems appropriate.

...

Reposting Lovecraftian IPP just in case. I think They're already in the main git folder, but never made it into the baggyfag folder.

I think that's everything!

might as well dump this recolor of something from jeph's tumblr here.

I love you Baggyfag. A few of those were in the Edits archive but I was missing a lot of them. I don't think the AT-Field header has been used yet, want me to use that for the next thread?

We used it a while back, a little less than a year ago, by the date on it. But I think we're getting to the point where it's okay if we want to recycle a few oldies.

If we don't have a fresh one ready in time, go for it.

I am not.

A spider just dropped into my (thankfully empty) beer glass. Is Jeph counter-memeing us?
Also it's more like Elliot Is Drawn Weird Week.

I thought businesses stopped using plate glass in the 60s in favor of safety glass in order to reduce liability and lawsuit risk.

Sigh, I can't believe I'm saying this….but even though Jeph clearly fucked up, this is a historic district we're talking about so maybe it's apropos.

Y'know, for a "Victorian" style bar in the heart of hypsteropolis, I could see hand-forged blown glass windows being a thing.

There is something so hot about fully clothed tentacles, wish there was more of it out there

what if Marten had been pozzed long before he ever met Claire? Ancient Alien theorists say… yes.

Martin Reed's GRID was so severe, that modern scientists cannot ignore the possibility that it transcended the laws of causality.

Right, so I remembered I promised this.
Think I'll hold off on reusing the AT-Field header.

Elliot is a projection of what Jeph thinks he is.

it's just perfect user

I would be in the "confused" camp, personally. Does Jeph assume all non-manlets are scary simply because of their size? How tall was this guy, anyway? 5'11"?

more like jeph is gay for his own characters week continues. autogynephilia.jpg

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...

Every time I see it, I get new confirmation that that face will never get old.

You think there will ever come a point where Jeff injects so many simpering bitch characters that none of them will be able to interact?
They'll be too scared to even look at each other, and apologize constantly just in case they *might* have done something offensive at some point but can't remember.

...

I don't know how to interpret that kek.

New bread