CIVIL WAR 2: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY EDITION

I kinda doubt there will even be much of a fight in the book, so the cover will be the most action packed part of Civil War 2 at all.

to be fair Kitty and Colossus was a thing back during the Claremont days. I personally think Bendis has a thing for Kitty to the point I think she's his waifu.

Meanwhile Luke Cage is his husbando.

Now let's see Tony's side via Miles Morales.

Nice detective skills Jessica.You're still a mother right?

I forgot whether or not he actually met most of the ultimate universe heroes.

Do they just not try when we hear Carol's side of this?

Enters mincing pedophile Jessica Jones.

Fuck you, Bendis. Online handles existed will before your idiot ass, and the average person gains nothing but risk of identity theft from putting their real name on things online. Stop being a thinskinned bitch because people tell you you're a bad writer.

Y'know I expect this type of thing from the other Jessica. Wait why the hell does Marvel have two Jessicas that are both Investigators?

Bendis probably just thinks Jessicas are super cool.

I know the intention is that Tony ISN'T racist, but I've only seen him give the profiling speech directly to Miles and Sam, two black guys. So you're telling me Tony would personally meet Miles and ask him about things, but Nova has no idea where Tony is during basically all of this? I can see him not talking to Ms. Marvel, he'd assume it would be a waste of time due to her devotion to Carol, but does everyone more or less accept that Nova is a useless idiot and just ignore him?

Any other tie ins this week? I want to see how deep the shithole goes.

Hold up we got some Cho Hulk stuff. I'll post in a minute.

Already doesn't look good for what's going to happen.

Jesus, why? God, why? Just why?

I haven't read Cho but, is he really just an in control hulk?

It took balls to do that shit. Would you Holla Forums?

I'm actually starting like this guy. BP I know some revolutionary shit is going down in Wakanda with a tree wizard and two lesbians starting shit but, please tell me you're not going to actually fight him.

Yes. Fuck Captain Bitch and everything she stands for.

Mecha-Hello Kitty

It's because Greg Pak is handling the Hulk stuff for Marvel. He's actually a decent writer, unlike most of modern Marvel's stable of writers. Also, come to think of it, he was the writer for Hercules when Herc was traveling around with Amadeus Cho, too, so I suppose having had that prior experience with the character helps.

I like him, too.

How come Wolverine and Cap are with Carol if Cap is shown on the opposing side with Iron Man in the main book while Wolverine is out of control in X-23's book? Is this just more continuity errors and shit? Wouldn't surprise me. Or is just the whole timeline for this shit too complicated to understand at all?

Some time went past before and after the Hawkeye trail so we had a funeral with both Tony and Carol at it. Shit didn't start until Tony figured out how Ulysses' powers worked so Cap had time to switch sides. Don't know about the Wolverine stuff though.

Oh, good, I'll just relay that message to Vision…who is currently IN THE FUTURE. Also, I'll let Cable know that there's nothing to worry about, as everything he has worked to stop doesn't even exist. In fact, he HIMSELF doesn't exist. BRAVO BENDIS.

And how the hell did this become the "definition" of profiling? And his statement is too broad to even view that as a bad thing. With logic like Tony's, punishing attempted murder is Orwellian fascism. An attempt to arrest someone without evidence is unethical, but it has nothing to do with profiling.

Man, wouldn't it be nice if we had super-computers crunching all the numbers to refine and remove any possible bias from profiling? Wouldn't it be cool if there were some sort of billionaire futurist with access to technology beyond the resources of any earthly government who could assist in the production of such computers? "I think profiling is a problem, but I'm just going to sit on my metal-plated thumbs and pontificate instead of doing anything."

And so Bendis slept well that night, secure in the knowledge that he had successfully defeated his ideological opponents through dialogue in a comic book totally under his authorial and editorial control.

Vision's in the future?

It's all still a mess then! Bravo! Not like editors and such exist to counteract continuity errors or anything. Then again, seeing the shit Marvel's allowed their writers to crap out, I don't think there even are any actual editors.

He went to the future to when Kang was a baby, to stop him from going to the past and then ruling the future to threaten the present.

I… uh… WHAT?!

Was this in Waid's shitty diversity-vengers book?

And then, as I recall, some dark, mysterious, shadowy figure whispered something we didn't get to hear in his ear that made him decide to kidnap Kang from his birth parents and take him off to be raised by the people that turned him into the Conqueror that will one day threaten the present, right?

Now you're getting it.

I love how Carol is just like "Oh, Tony is real stubborn. I mean, don't even talk to him, trust me, my side is right and I need you to kick his ass."

I mean, putting aside anything we know about how stupid Bendis and the other writers are, we just have to go off the characters as presented. And Carol is an emotional wreck of a person who just lost her lover, was given a job so important she feels civil liberties need to put on hold, and she can't process the concept that she's wrong at all. Her flying out to presumably blow up their ship because Rocket gave them some sass also makes her look like she's so on edge she's just looking for a fight. And that's even ignoring her alcoholism and BRAIN DAMAGE (since neither have been brought up in this event).

so they remodeled Jessica to look like the Netflix show.

You act like Marvel probably even has model sheets anymore. They probably said "Jessica Jones is in this issue" and the show was the best reference material they could provide.

I feel like that is the easiest way of saying "I was a prisoner but I did good things. Honest."

wow so things have gotten that bad have they?

user. Another user had a pic of Carol having a different hair style just from a different panels on the same page.

P-Panther-sama, I…

...

You mean like when Logan let Juggernaut beat the snot out of Peter because he wouldn't fuck Kitty, when she was 13 1/2 and he was in his 20s?

…Do I wanna know?

NOBODY VAG-BLOCKS KITTY PRYDE

I'm still not sure what the endgame will be like.
Tony is a fanfavorite, so making him the bad guy in the end and getting his ass kicked, would alienate whatever fanbase they still have.
On the other hand it's pretty clear that the writers who can't stop to shoehorn their views into it at every opportunity, would want Carol to win, simply because she's a stronk wymyn.

Can you imagine how scary she could be if she really wanted the D? You can't stop her. Her footsteps are silent and she can walk on air. She'll phase through any locked door or reinforced wall. She can phase you out of your clothes. If she did it while you were sleeping, you might not even realize she's there, just remembering it as a wet dream.

If you were aware, she could partially phase you into the bed, and then if you try break contact with or distract her, you risk serious physical injury. It's like a whole new level of pseudo-bondage.

Katherine "Inescapable Rape Machine" Pryde

>PROFILING.
>We're talking about big issues!.. Like RACISM

Hmmm, never really thought about it like that… kinda hot.

If they just skipped all this shitty writing and the whole event was just told in Art Adams covers, that would be so much better. Especially that first cover, where everyone just looks badass as fuck. I mean, when I look at that, I forget that I hate Carol, I'm too mesmerized by how awesome everyone looks.

What's Art Adams been upto lately, besides these covers? I might have to hunt down a poster or two of his work.

Can I just say that the entire "PREDICTION" crap is a terrible metaphor for racial profiling.

The kind of discussion they keep having (and this is like the 50th time we've seen the "PROFILING" description) doesn't match the actual execution of the future vision powers.

How is predicting that a bunch of celestials are going to show up and try to blow up New York profiling? How is knowing that Thanos is around and up to no good at all like profiling? How is stopping an armed robbery before it starts profiling?

Profiling, in the racial context, is seeing a black person and saying, "black people commit crimes. arrest that black person because they probably committed a crime."

Their version of profiling involves the police correctly ID'ing a known criminal who escaped prison and has a mile long record that includes raping babies, murdering the elderly, and kicking puppies, and deciding to arrest him on sight… and Bendis, in his infinite wisdom, is trying to make that an allegory for the BLM-fueled racial tension we're seeing today.

But remember, Tony has a stronk BLACK womyn on his side. If we're going by the fact that Bendis controls the story, black holds more weight than female. Come to think of it, Carol lost before we even began, when she caused the death of a black man, an unforgivable crime in Bendis' eyes.

But even in the context of actual racial profiling, police still can't really take action without evidence. They might hassle the subject, but nobody gets arrested "because they are black." They get investigated or scrutinized because they are black in an area with high levels of black crime, or because they are acting suspiciously.

The answer to how Ulysses ability is profiling, is that there's something they haven't told us yet that will controvert all the accurate predictions he's made. The absolutely hilarious part is that we are introduced to Ulysses as he tries to hit on a black girl. Bendis is such a cuck that it just oozes from his pores. He's incapable of creating an ambiguous character. When he wants them to be good, they tick all the check boxes, and when it's time to be bad, they are horrible, evil, racists. All he had to do to lend even some bit of credence to his stupid "profiling" bullshit is have Ulysses reject some black girl with a lame excuse, only to hit on a pure, Aryan specimen as soon as said black girl is gone. But no, Ulysses is ethnic, he likes the ethnic ladies, he's put thought into the dangers of his powers, and he endures hardships to better himself. Well, good job creating a pure and heroic character, Bendis, it will be interesting to watch you try to cast aspersions on him even as you erect a statue of him in the town square.

To answer your question about Thanos, it's his purple skin. Everybody knows purple people are criminals, it's in their nature. Their mind-controlling, universe-reshaping, kink-indulging, nihilistic nature.

Carl is going to get the Asshole's Redemption treatment like Tony got right after the first Civil War fiasco & during the first Iron Man movie. We'll see how well the formula holds up in what? 2018? 2019?

I know she's a psycho now but that lip bite turns me on.

I was waiting for someone to do this.

I'm fucking calling her that from now on

Do you guys think they drug this nothing of an event out so that it would cross with 9/11, thus lending some credence to the "change the future" side?

I'm fairly certain that's a meme that arose after one particularly dykish appearance by her, in which she looked more mannish than the guy she just had sex with.

for a minute I thought you meant Carl the Cuck.

kinda sad about her appearance especially when you consider how she used to look.

I don't think I want to read any more of this.

WHAT FOR?
FOR WHAT PURPOSE?
WHY AM I STILL READING THIS?!

first three panels of the 4th image and I'm done with this preaching garbage
fuck this, I'll just wait for the next thread and act like a spoiled brat, demanding a tl;dr up to that point in the future

When she said that I thought she was signalling to Quill and Pryde that she'd be down with joining them in for some sex. Honestly, once you have two characters have sex in a book, you might as well have more characters have sex, it's the closest thing to an action scene in it all except Carol being ready to kill all her friends when they show up in a ship she should fucking recognize.

Yeah, I thought she was going to be down to fuck as well. Bendis doesn't know what to do with this book, it should be nothing but space sex.

The question is are Vision and Cable in the future or are they in a future?
Also it's shit like this why you should think long and hard before you introduce the concept time travel into your fictional story. And shit like this too

Anyone else wanna post Glactus pic explaining Marvel canon?

But if there's even one future for them to be from, how can you say "the future hasn't happened." Clearly some futures have happened, so why is Tony's future special? It might be the case, but Tony is absolutely sure of himself, when he would have no way of knowing that. Plus characters have traveled to the past, and if you can't come from the future, then you can't time travel to the past, understand?

But doesn't that mean that it would be impossible to change anything (at least anything major) so both Carl and Tony are wrong and this entire thing is pointless from the start?

Carol seems to give this, "no fucks given" attitude about everything she does. But in the end writers put her in situations where we are made to believe her "doesn't give a fuck" attitude is the right one.

...

Didn't they already make this movie?
It was called minority report I think

never forget

I was planning on getting that comic to see what Carol was like back then. The only other time I've read stuff with her in it was in the X-men and she was ok in it and had a thing for Wolverine.

I love that design.

she's THICC but it's the boots and gloves that get me.

See, as much as I hate the way they portrayed future Doom in that one post-Civil War FF comic, they have an interesting concept of the elasticity of the timestream. The future can be changed, but you have to work damn hard to do it. Like a living organism, the timestream will try to repair itself. By that definition, Carol might only be delaying the deaths of all these people. She'll save them from an earthquake, only for them to choke on a fish bone a week later. I believe there is a future, but also that it can be changed, because that's what leads to the most story possibilities (and what makes Terminator 2 a great movie and 3 an awful one).

Honestly, I wish Carol wasn't such an awful bitch, because at least her argument is, "I want to help people." Tony's argument is, "I don't believe in my repeated life experiences, also racism." Like, they paid lip service to self-determinism for one second, and since then it's profiling this and profiling that.

Pls, don't insult Minority Report by comparing it to this. Bendis wishes he could cook up half the makes-you-think-doesn't-it quotient of Minority Report. The only thing this story makes me think about is continuity errors and bad art.

UNF. Now I remember why I picked her for my Ultimate Alliance team.

oh god shes turning into squirrel girl

She's like Hillary Clinton. She's so brain damaged she can't remember the truth.

What the fuck is happening with Marvel? I thought it was bad enough that when War Machine died, they couldn't even show his fucking FAMILY at his funeral, and instead rounded up every black character who is wholly unaffiliated with him like some twisted BLM sympathy drive - "I dunno the guy but 'e was black and dat made me think about life n' sheet"

But this, this is getting worse by the issue. How much longer can they push Captain Retard like she's some Joan of Arc?

Two more main issues, at least one more for every tie in, and probably a few retarded things for the aftermath.

And then right into Death of X. Where I'm betting Carol will be useless to all her X-Men friends who stuck their neck out for her.

Isn't Death of X a pre-quel story to how Cyclops fucked up and died doing something to the Inhumans?

Is it? Whatever it is, I guess there is no hope that Bendis will be completely uninvolved with it, right?

Course Bendis will have his grubby cuck hands in it somehow.

Lemire and Soule are writing it actually

I heard his Daredevil run is good. Is it true?

You know what's really fucked up is that he already has an established niece who is an established technological genius and who has received help from Tony Stark, including a few of his old Iron Man suits and a fucking supercomputer.

Instead we got "Riri" who just built her whole suit out of random shit she stole and decided she was going to be a superhero for fun.

Let me guess, she has no personality other than quirky Joss Whedon girl does she?

She's not even especially quirky. She's incredibly lacking in any kind of personality at all, as far as we can tell. She's a 15 year old college student who got into MIT and then dropped out after stealing shit to built her own Iron Man suit, just because.

Her armor design was clearly traced off some combination of Optimus Prime and a suit of Fallout Powerarmor… and here's the best part.. Some Japanese company made a female Iron man porn parody called "Ironheart" years ago, and the main character's name was Riri

lol. Do they explain how she fits her afro inside the helmet?

10/10 post

Not another "Batgirl" type character. What is it with western writers and their inability to give women a solid reason to fight crime?

Sums up all of the recent black characters.

It's like they're scared to even suggest blacks can have unique personalities outside of the most bland and positive. Explains why they waited so long to give Tartakovsky his Luke Cage comic.

Well, niggas, it's Wednesday. And that means it's time to play the "Are they seriously still publishing this?" game! Someone else can storytime fun/semi-fun stuff. I'm giving you the shitty.

Great, more cancer.

Please user, make me want to pull the fucking cable and finish my life while this cancer called 'modern comics' consume my body.

You might be wondering "What does any of this have to do with Civil War 2, especially since Barton's trial was already handled and there is NO TENSION". Well… fuck off. It has the Civil War 2 font, are you suggesting it's a pointless tie in just to sell a book that is plummeting in sales? That's crazy.

Just get through this shit book with me and no one gets hurt! Well, except you. And me. And I guess anyone who wanders into the thread.

Have you ever needed to fill two pages of a book and just fill them with character portraits and called it a "joke"? This is the kinda shit writing that happens when Bendis influences all your new hires.

Who could have murdered this non-character, and where is the evidence for the trial that we ALREADY KNOW THE OUTCOME TO? I guess there is a killer. I half expected the end of the comic to be Bobbi saying "I killed him".

Oh! Haha! a D&D player being the suspect because he is a roleplayer and they have bad fame because they don't know the difference between reality and fiction! hahahahaha!

FUCK YOU

Sometimes I just wish to die, but then I remember I want to take the whole world with me.

… seriously? I mean, I know he was called Phantom Rider (II), but he was just a NORMAL COWBOY. He wasn't actually magical or shit, right? I don't know, West Coast Avengers was nothing but insane shit (including time travel, amnesia based rape) so maybe this shit happened before… but… FUCK THIS.

Okay, I guess Lincoln's spirit HAS been around in the past. But bringing him in with no foreshadowing in a plot that not only had a WORTHLESS ISSUE of set up, but now is dragging into a 3 parter? Fuck, why stop there? This is probably a 6 parter!

And note that the last guy Lincoln's spirit possessed, Bobbi BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF. So, unless he's been taking spirit martial arts classes, he's not really a threat. He's just an asshole who raped her while she was drugged in the old west.

Oh, and remember, the plothook of Hawkeye's trial? None of it matters. These letters are totally real, just read them.

Okay, I want to apologize for how terrible that was. Let's hope the A-Force tie in issues are less shitty than that. They have Dazzler in them, so they basically have to be good.

Just judging by the CW2 shit, all you'd be able to know about Misty Knight is that she cares about black people, people with metal arms, and herself (who black and has a metal arm). She probably mains Jax in MK.

Also DAZZLER IS SAYING WHAT WE'RE ALL THINKING.

Gets her boyfriend killed, her friend in a coma, might as well arrest a teammate… This whole even should just be Dazzler giving Carol sick burns for her stupidity.

Well, well, who do we have here?

Dazzler being badass as fuck, while that cunt Medusa fills Carol's brain damaged head full of promises and lies.

Can we get a Dazzler comic now?

Preferably one where she doesn't just sit around and gossip on twitter.

That was agonizing, I thought the previous issues were bad.

Can you believe there was a comic in all this CW2 stuff where THINGS ACTUALLY HAPPENED? And while consistent through this book, Carol's hair is once again different from every other book. Can you imagine with Marvel knew about MODEL SHEETS?

That would be great.

Everytime a situation seems about to deescalate, fucking Medusa is there to make things worse. What a dumb fucking cunt. I seriously might need a take a minute before I continue, due to the absurdity of how much of a fucking bitch she is.

She can't have always been like this. I refuse to believe Blackbolt would have put up with this shit for long. No wonder that nigga is off tending bar.

I gotta bask in how much I'm loving this page. I'm honestly enjoying this. Why can't all Marvel books be this good?

And with a little prodding, everyone remembers that there is a town that a bunch of big name superheroes could probably save. And something about a Dazzler-Thor that I guess was in issue 6.

Here we have a page that does highlight one of the biggest things about this whole even: Carol is actually too stupid to defend her position. She isn't smart like Tony, she isn't experienced in life like Steve, she's honestly gotten through a lot of her life as dumb brute. Even when she was a writer, she just reported on things or talked about her time at NASA. She's honestly no intelligent enough to present her argument, maybe not even enough to understand it herself, and that's part of why she fucks up so much and gets frustrated when Tony explains all this shit to her. Because she's FUCKING DUMB.

Wait… does Carol need to breath? I mean, she can survive in space unassisted, so I assume she doesn't need to breath. Maybe she holds her breath?

Oh, look at that walkback. It's not the missile that did it, the missile just dazed her, it was actually Thanos who put her in a coma all along.

I give them a gold star sticker for finesse, and an almost perfect nine for bull-headed indifference.

Damn, Carol looks sex as fuck in that last page.

I guess we gotta wait til next month.

Wait, this all happened after Tony left, so Tony is kidnapping Ulysses right now? Or am I supposed to believe he waited a day, because Medusa is HERE, and she was clearly present to confront Tony when he took the guy. Aw… fuck, I don't care. This is a better book than the main stuff, so the fault lies on Bendis.

Letters, and a really awful cover for next issue.

If they announced that this team was going to start making a Dazzler solo book, I'd actually buy it.

Is Dazzler actually good still? I remember her from the old x men stuff but they keep trying to put her into new things.

I assume she has a lot of ups and downs. I've always more of less liked her though.

Just as Keikaku

So there are two more issues of the Miles Spiderman book, and the Gods of War and Amazing Spiderman tie ins.

Any other CW2 shit this week? I really want the event to end so the pain can be over.

You're right. That's actually one of those pages I'd expect to see used as an example of comic book sexism, but I have a feeling we aren't going to hear shit about it.

Aw, hell, let's check in on Miles. Even if nothing happens in his book, he's tied to the old Ultimate Spiderman stuff, which was probably the ONLY Bendis book I really enjoyed. So Bendis might actually try to be a writer.

Strong opening. It's telling that the only time that something happens is when something didn't happen. Everything interesting is a possible future that didn't happen.

We used to call stories like this What Ifs. But I guess if they brought that back, the Watcher is dead… would Nick Fury host the book?

Zoe Quinn robbing a pawn shop, as usual.

So do they just wait until they find a fight to continue their conversation? It's almost like having action scene.

Out all night with a girl and he didn't even get his dick wet. He really is the heir to Peter's legacy.

That's more like it!

THE NEXT THING YOU'RE GOING TO SAY IS Sweet Christmas

Oh, so now to even further confuse the timeline of things they SAT ON THE HULK ISSUE FOR DAYS. Seriously? They had days to plan this and the best they could come up with was show up at Banner's doorstep like a fucking ARMY and hassle him? They couldn't think of anything better than that? The only thing that made sense about it in the main book was the idea that it was a GUT REACTION, like they were in such a rush no one had time to figure out anything better. Bendis himself is making his own timeline make less sense than ever.

And I assume next issue is nothing but Bendis's pet characters talking to eachother.

This second page is perhaps the ONLY good instance of two heroes arguing this pre-crime bullshit in a way that makes both sides sympathetic.

They had Tony "I'm one of the smartest motherfuckers in the universe" Stark and Carol "I'm apparently the best damned leader in the world" Danvers screaming at each other like retards and just repeating the word PROFILING over and over… And then there's THIS.

That one fucking page actually makes this seem like something that people could reasonably disagree on.

Am I the only one that thinks Luke Cage wearing plain clothes all the time is lazy as fuck?

Yeah, if half the books weren't written by Bendis, I think we'd have some real tension during this whole event. I mean, I get what Carol is TRYING to do, but the how of it is completely different from the core book to many of the tie ins. Even here, she's trying to do this in large part FOR Nico, she doesn't want to burden her with the guilt of killing someone. But in the main book? Carol is just Hitler.

If Carol was more consistently written as well intentioned but misguided, the event could work better. But she's clearly portrayed as reckless and violence prone, either due to the emotional stress or because she's a crazy person.

The only way they get in the mood is to bully kids on rooftops.

Oh, if you're worried that they'll be standing around talking for a long time… well, I guess you've read Bendis before.

Don't give up your secret identity, even though two issued ago Bendis sad only mean people on twitter have secret identities.

Oh, how did I forget that here: there was some meandering speech about writers. I can only assume inspired by something someone said to Bendis to explain why he's a shit writer.

Hey, Miles, DON'T FORGET THAT YOU'RE BLACK!

Everyone is trying to force identity politics onto this kid, and I don't think it does a thing to help with the stress he already has in his life. In fact, I have to assume it makes him miserable. Good job, Bendis's Luke Cage.

Shit, are Thompson, Siqueira and Rosenberg actually not shit writers?

Maybe writers in Marvel despite eachother and their only way to argue because they can't plan an actual saga and a story is writing comics shitting on eachother and contradicting with eachother?

I still can't believe this is the best idea they could come up with DAYS OF PLANNING. Because, holy shit, what a bad plan.

Shit, that sounds like a more interesting story than half the shit they print. I'd love if all the writers just hated eachother and were constantly fighting for the soul of Marvel.

Okay, okay… THAT'S FUCKING FUNNY. It's such a cheap gag, but just "One hour later" and the arrow… you earned at least some of your shekels today, Bendis.

I still wonder, since when is letting minors into the superhero business a good idea?

Since never, but they keep doing it!

As much as I hate Bendis, I admit this part is kinda strong. The teen trio work because they're basically the kid Avengers, and seeing Tony have an honest breakdown is one of those things that will really shock a kid who idolizes him. It would have been nice to see these seeds of doubt referred to in the Ms. Marvel book, but they still do a good job of showing that Carol did let Kamala down by fucking this one up. So overall, the concept of young heroes seeing that their idols and mentors don't have all, or even most, of the answers, that works. If Bendis could actually keep a level of quality and interest this well, it wouldn't be AGONY that he writes all the books that he does. But he can't.

>Spider-Man is a kid of color now.

So, basically just a more eloquent way of telling us "We Spider-Man Now!"

Bendis, you're not black. You'll never be black.

Yo, but what if I try REALLY HARD?

Well, he wouldn't be the first one to try.

Just to make the timeline of all this insanity even more absurd, let's check on those Inhumans

Somehow I'm sure all this will tie back into GamerGate…

Honestly, all her years of leading alongside Blackbolt, and what did Medusa learn? Don't tell your subjects SHIT. Just leave them in the dark!

But Blackbolt has an actual reason not to tell people anything.

Clearly, Bendis deserves all of the blame.

I'm not especially fond of the way they are framing the younger heroes in this bullshit event. Like we're supposed to get the unsubtle hint that they are the inheritors of this entire capeshit shtick.

Remember earlier this year when Miles was like

Bam, action scene over.

So seriously, the whole place is unguarded from below the water? I mean, Iron Man can travel under the water. How have the Inhumans lived this long if they're this stupid?

But Captain Black Man said it, so it's fine this time.

So, on top of being a fishman, is Triton a fucking retard? I mean, what kinda thing did he expect Maximus to do?

I guess there is some tension in finding out if Tony really did launch this attack, but again, the timeline doesn't make sense. Or at least, important things are glossed over or omitted in the Iron Man books. Because Tony obviously wasn't planning to attack when he was moping in the ruins of Stark Tower, and then Dr. Doom took him on a spirit journey or whatever. It all is minor things, but so much of it doesn't make sense that it's hard to pretend ANY of it makes sense. Of course, this could all be a ploy by Maximus, and Tony is unaware of it.

… is this Bendis doing the ting Ive been told he does where he can make incredibly compelling arguments AGAINST whatever is the point he is supposed to be supporting again?

Not really.

I'm not invested in this event at all. It's just melodramatic shit happening with no consequences.

Why was crazy Carol so convinced that the hulk from the vision was Bruce's Hulk?

Paulo Siqueira and Rachelle Rosenberg aren't writers, period.

It's more likely that every writer who isn't Bendis is stuck doing damage control for an event they probably had little input in "planning". If anybody should be hated, it's Bendis and the people that enable his bullshit.

Same reason she thinks everything she does: she's a drunk idiot.

This all made a lot more sense when I thought that Rhodey and Banner's death were less than 24 hours apart. It helped explain at least some of the shit decision making, jumping the gun, and overall stupidity. But this much warning, and they didn't even CHECK on Cho? I don't even see a throw away line like "we ruled him out" or anything. Just days of planning and "lets stress out Banner and see what happens!"

Is that merely Marvel usual shitty cover art or is an African American woman going to become the next She Hulk?

Actually, I looked into it once, and it's apparently been a running joke at Marvel for at least the past few years that each different artist gets to give Carol a hairstyle of their choice.

I think they're trying to force a meme.

You know, their is that A.I. Doc Green made of himself that is obsessed with creating his own hulk body and replace to the Hulk, maybe that is the Hulk in Ulysses' visions. It would still technically be a Banner Hulk, yet not be Banner, of course if this is true then Banner died for nothing other than to further the cultural enrichment of Marvel.

...

Every community can have their in-jokes, as confusing as that is for us.

Are they going the replace Tony Stark with not-Steel's Daughter?

She's totes not Steel's daughter, Steel 2 has cornrows, Black Iron Man Woman has an afro.

Well you could say Tony's argument in the first civil war was "I want people to be safe from metahumans" and Caps was "I want all the supoerpowers to do whatever they want", but that's grossly misrepresenting the point. Carol may have good intentions, but she's carpet-bombing a hospital to stop the flu from spreading.
Carol is acting retarded for the wrong reason but with good intentions, while Tony is acting smart for the wrong reason with stupid intentions. Whereas in the first Civil War Tony was acting retarded for the right reason with stupid intentions, and Cap was acting smart for the right reason with good intentions.

Pretty much.
Remember the red skull scene where he made proper arguments on his side and against it was only "YOU'RE WRONG BECAUSE I SA SO"?
That shit can be found in a shitton comics written by liberals or SJW or whatever they call themselves.
Instead of at least trying to appeal to logic they go full on the moral superiority of their side and hope it works.
Like here.
It's nice that Carl wants to help people, but arresting them for something they haven't done is insane.

Is Tony just the most easy to use asshole to punch out in an argument and be proven wrong? Cause it seems that they put him in these scenarios and have him do something totally offbeat just so everyone else can tell him how wrong he is. I thought these 'Civil War' event were about choosing between 2 equally understandable sides not one guy with a valid statement vs another with no idea what they're doing.

See

Tony is the punching bag because he's a rich, straight, white male. Also he's infamous for being cocky and overconfident, and they did that whole arc where he was an evil megalomaniacal lunatic after that AXIS event.

Not to mention that his opponent in this conflict is Carol Danvers, a stronk womyn who don't need to no man who is gay for She-Hulk.

While you are correct i just wish both Civil Wars could have been between different characters cause Iron Man vs Captain America was stupid considering they tried to play a character with many flaws, to such an extent that he is even aware of them, that is Tony against the embodiment of perfection and can't do wrong that is Steve.

They aren't even being subtle anymore. LITERALLY replacing the X-Men.

Carl has daddy issues, is homicidally violent, an alcoholic who makes terrible life choices, & is a brutal control freak. No good intentions here. (S)he's riding high on a power trip.

Is Tony wrong for think U-man is too good to be true? Jean Grey couldn't read homeboy's mind. Mr Sinister or any other telepath/mind gem owner could give any poor bastard visions…

umm, Karnak? Isn't that Karnak's power? Is there a lot of power redundancy in the Inhumans? More like InBREDs, am I right?

How did these people survive all these years, again? Did Blackbolt take all the manuals and Monarchy for Dummies books in the divorce?

Well, to be charitable, I was taking the version of Carol from that one Ultimates issue (I think?) the one where she walks Black Panther through the multiple floors of lawyers, coordinators, and whatnot to make sure they keep it legit. I guess it's not fair to use that interpretation when it's 1 book to the 4 or 5 that show Carol as a brain-damaged fascist, though.

Holy shit, I just realized why we don't get it. We understand that most civil wars are politically complex at the very least, but all these schmucks know is THE civil war. Y'know, the one where the racist Confederacy who only fought for the right to oppress and own people as chattel were defeated by the heroic and righteous Union. They think a civil war is a cheap morality play where one part of a population knows what's best and has to lay a smackdown on the other part for their own good.

5000 hours in MS Paint using only the touch pad, fuck these things I hate them so much.

if they are so hellbent on making her a man why not give her the surgery all ready?

Yeah, I forgot to mention that. Honestly, knowing the art was that bad in earlier issues, I wonder if I'll go back and read them ever.

I know I've read this in an Ultimate comic, but aren't Dazzler's powers based on atom spitting?

all I know is that she makes bright pretty lights.

yeah, she's a real
BADASS

could make a drinking game out of the amount of times the word BADASS comes up or that bloodstone bounty hunter lady swears
or the amount of times Carol rationalizes horrible shit that happens in front of her eyes and Medusa ignores the fact that Ulysses only sees ONE version of the future
and the amount of times Tony is right about calling this bullshit from the get go
and I don't even want to get into the multiverse stuff Galactus explained some time ago mostly because I've only seen that one page and never actually read the comic

I hate comic books, if anybody needs me, I'll be laughing at inappropriate things over at /k/ right after I finish reading these vocabular and ocular abortions.

Either she's hired totally incompetent yes-men or she flat out ignores all of their advice.

This is going be the MCU's flagship character? Good luck with that, Disney.

This is what happens when nearly all of your best female characters are X-Men, and you don't own the movie rights to them. I got the feeling part of why they didn't do a Black Widow movie instead is because then they'd have to pay Scarjo more for every film, and it's cheaper to have her as a constant supporting character.

So the whole "First female lead Marvel movie" falls on Carol, a character who's decades of existence could probably be described as a series of reboots.

Do you think they'll settle on one hair style once the movie version comes out?

This entire event screams bullshit to the point of everything being wrong.

1. Even though Ulysses can't see everything, why the hell wouldn't he see something like this that exclusively targeted innocent lives and made Inhumans look bad and could kill Inhumans in the crossfire. Also why didn't she tell everyone that the attack was not a kill order? Only to Karnak did she tell him it was not a kill order but told everyone else just to attack Tony Stark. I know she can't be a villain but honestly they should of played it straight and had nuHumans attack Tony because they took her commands out of context because she's a shitty ruler.

2. Especially with the Tie-Ins they explained that both Medusa, T'challa, and Carol suspect that Ulysses power could be corrupted by personal bias. Medusa gives her word that no racial bias, etc will be shown to Ulysses to circumvent that but we've seen in multiple Uncanny Inhumans comics that she still has views of Inhuman supremacy and deems a lot of people, Carol included a threat unless she has them subjugated and/or eating out of her hand. I remember at one point she has a "heartfelt" conversation with Ulysses about her us versus them mentality because it's necessary for the propagation and prosperity of the Inhuman race (hell she pretty much went sudo 1488 in that one). Carol has shit the bed on a lot of these visions but knowing that the information could be manipulated for an agenda should cause her to question a lot more than what's going on. Also Medusa a shit because she's pushing pre-crime and wants to arrest people for shit they haven't done but won't turn herself in under good will now? Sure we know it's Maximus but practice what you preach Medusa and Carol!

3: Cutesy bullshit for hugs and make up kisses. I would blame Inhumans for M-Pox and the genocide of my people if I was a mutant. Even without Storm Powers why the hell haven't they had Singularity, Tony, Chavez, Wiccan, Reader, Nico, or anyone with powers/tech that could just vacuum that cloud into a pocket dimension then release it somewhere save like space or even build a hyper pressurized containment unit in New Attilan (that way Medusa can have her cake and eat it too). That way the cloud doesn't morph people willy nilly (which I think bug girl will be revealed to be Inhuman for Medusa to flip out on) which could stop some of Ulysses visions and also stop the genocide of the mutants. Also people who do try to stop the cloud from killing people cause Medusa to go into a shitfit and claim that it's super holy and how dare you subhuman filth touch the holiness of the Inhuman Terrigen cloud. So you don't want to claim responsibility but you also want it to just roll over place to place mutating people against their will and killing mutants? Yes I blame you Medusa, I blame every shithuman who you've made into your Hair Hydra Youth that blindly follow your orders, and I blame you for acting high and mighty all the time then acting like a victim when people call your shit on the carpet especially when you have victimized them first.

4: Black Panther's book shows that his country is still shit with old practices of rapist chiefs, caste system oppression, and overall tone-deafness to the plights of his own people but at least he cries about it so that makes him okay. He's not a complete tyrant but he's staying the course because that's all he's good for and is content with the status quo. Is this heroic no, but it is okay for a King. In all honesty Black Panther and Medusa are the yes-men because this Pre-Crime bullshit allows them to create a new world order with everyone under their thumb. Also even with She-Hulk out, why the fuck would she support this as both a hero and a person who actually practices law. This makes Shulkie look like a snake-lawyer who just wants to win and doesn't care about justice or anything she stands for.

Agreed.

This is the same ruler whose country discovered a cure for cancer & hoarded it for themselves.

That's my biggest problem; the stalwart former defender of due process & most brilliant legal mind in the MCU isn't flattening Carl's spiky dyke cut. A rampage would definitely be warranted after learning that The Colonel brought about Bruce's death.

Here's my prediction: That Isotope 9/red krytonite BS that turned Galactus into the Life Giver has turned bland & boring KSD's Captain Marvel into Bendis's Wardyke.

If I were Tony I'd hire Moonstone & Mystique to brainstorm ideas to deal with his current headache.

Yeah Black Panther has just been shit all-around as of late. The cry part was sarcasm on my end but I've been scratching my head on how he's supposed to be part of the Ultimates and everyone plugs the Soverign Nation of Wakanda bullshit when his book shows gross human rights violations and he's a head of Alpha Flight which in-universe is an extension of the United Nations but for space.

Also the cancer shit was one of the worst things that they wrote about, especially since Marvel already slaps cancer into people's story like a shitty band-aid for drama. Sure Norman Osbourn weaponized it but that's not because it's a bad drug, it's because your dealing with Norman "I make Mephisto sick to his stomach" Osbourn. He's in the same boat as Medusa, complaining that he can't do anything to help the world and woe is me when he's sitting on the golden ticket to many people's ailments. Hell Whor's thing is that she has to stay in Whor mode or she'll die of the cancer she has as Jane Foster.

Also I wouldn't be surprised that M-Pox is mutant cancer because Inhumans were just humans abducted by the Kree and had their X-Gene experimented on to trigger from Terrigen exposure versus natural puberty like mutants.

The M-Pox is the physical expression of their X-Gene being expressed uncontrollably by terrigen exposure which causes their Mutant Growth Hormone to go haywire and their body to attack itself because of the damaged cellular replication process like fluid melanoma (pic related) because it's treating the growth hormone as Inhuman cells in a Mutant body.

Also I remember that Mutant Growth Hormone can also affect people genetically because of the foreign genetic material being hybridized into your body which along with the X gene being on the 23 chromosome which is the sex chromosome in humans. Alterations to this chromosome can also cause sterility, as shown in other animals with animals such as sheep and humans with extra or degraded X chromosomes like Klinefelter's Syndrome.

This means that at least with study I wouldn't be surprised that the cancer cure couldn't be adapted to cure or treat M-Pox along with corrective gene therapy from reverse-engineering the Mutant Growth Hormone of mutants before being infected or using the prime X-Gene baseline harvested from Apocalypse, especially since his clone Evan carries the same gene and powers to adapt from viruses and gene alterations both in himself and others.

Hell I think I just proposed a solution to M-Pox that Beast should've thought of. Especially since he fucking discovered the Mutant Growth Hormone!

She has brain damage that gives her retrograde amnesia, mood swings, and destructive behavior when she uses her powers. In fact because they gave her binary powers back I wouldn't be surprised it's fucking with her brain and giving her hormone imbalances and possible cancer later on. It be fitting since Mar-Vell went ape-shit because of his cancer in the Cancerverse.

Also god dammit Marvel really has a hard on for cancer. Maybe that's why they've become so terminally shit.

Just call it "dyke spikes." It's clipped and to the point.

ISHyg- Wait…that's probably an improvement. No, that's definitely an improvement. I'll take "Wow, I can't believe desperately working with a supervillain blew up in my face," over "Heroes act like supervillains for contrived reasons (or no reason at all)."

That is too much hard science, IMO. The answer to convoluted bullshit is to dial it back, not come up with other convoluted BS. That said, they could solve the issue anytime they wanted, but they don't want to, as long as Fox owns the X-Men movies.

Regrettably we have Bendis for one more year after this event writing tie-ins and more drek in the aftershock of it all. Between Bendisspeak, waifuism of Kitty and Luke, and overly contrived answers to plot points to make himself look smart this would be right up his alley to have Beast do what I wrote just so Bendis could say he wrote something "In-Character and surprisingly educated".

The enemy of my enemy is my temporary ally of convenience. Carol is getting to the Sentry level of psychosis. She's beyond lithium or Haldol's help right now.

Tony needs to stock up on tit missiles & a capacitor/black hole suit of armor that could absorb the inevitable Spectrum/Col Manvers planet buster combo.

I fucking hate how these beta male writers always have to have some woman telling some man not to touch them so they can jerk it to the thought of being told off.

I'll bet Bendis wants some amazon to put his cock in a lock and tell him he can't cum for a month.

I want somebody to write "brevity is the soul of wit" on a frying pan and hit Bendis over the head with it.

gotta get that man-bashing in there somewhere.

An actual decent read in the current year +1. Who woulda thunk it?

I don't know anything about this Singularity character, but she's kind of a qt. Comic is shit tho.

You're going to cause that thing you don't want to happen to happen you dumb cunt. Anyone can see this coming from a mile away.

It's official. Singularity is waifu for laifu

So if turning back all the bugs wouldn't work why not turn back only Alice? Wouldn't that do the same thing as killing her?

This dialogue between Carol and Tony is the cringiest Bendis shit in the whole thread.

Did somebody chloroform Bendis so they could take over writing the last few pages? I even feel sorry for Ms. Muslim.

Come to think of it, why HAVEN'T they had Karnak test their security?

Come on Flash you can do it! Kick his mary sue ass!

Is Tony's faceplate thing like Chris-Chan putting his glasses on so he can take them off dramatically, then put them on again?

I haven't been following Civil War 2 because it's shit, but I just heard they killed Alex Power

Really? I thought Power Pack would be safe from this shit because they were so obscure. Fuck everything.

OH MOTHERFUCKER!
I hope Disney throws Marvel into the same shallow grave where they hid Song of the South and Black Cauldron.

Not in anything I've seen. I didn't read the Power Pack story in Choosing Sides, but I don't think anyone died, or there was any action at all. If he died, it must have been earlier.

So does issue 5 come out tomorrow? I want to see this trainwreck over eventually.

W-wait Bruce Banner is dead?
When did this happen?

One of the Civil War 2 main issue. Hawkeye shot him with an anti-Hulk arrow that Banner somehow made and gave to him.

Issue 3. Special Arrow of Hulk Slaying +10, crafted by the first Hulk in the fires of Mt. Bendis.

Now if only we could get another one for She-Hulk

Seriously.

unfortunately yes.

After Amadeus Cho appeared, Banner seemed to be completely cured of the Hulk, and had spent the time before his death living in hiding doing science where no one could bother him. Carol went out of her way to track down a normal human, brought an army of capes "in case he went Hulk", and then was A-OK with him getting shot in the head with an experimental anti-Hulk arrow that Banner had made but never tested. Somehow, no one questions the fact that he didn't Hulk out and just died like a normal human, and instead simply trusts that a human with good aim was able to see his eyes flash green from a distance while the superhumans standing right next to Banner, speaking to him face to face, saw no such thing.

Remember, this is the same comic where She-Hulk was nearly killed and put into a coma because she got hit in the tits by an anti-Thanos missile that Rhodey pulled out of his ass for this specific issue.

They retconned that. The missile merely stunned her now, which Thanos followed with a beatdown.

Hoooly shit, I didn't believe you. Can anyone read the moonrunes to confirm her name is Riri?

its too small to read but if her name is Riri then it would most likely be in katakana.

I don't believe her name is Riri, otherwise I'd probably have seen more about it.

Anyone going to storytime issue 5, or do I gotta do it?

Fuck, I guess I'll post it. No commentary from me, we're GOING IN DRY!

Tony should become Kamala's mentor. Then he can teach her how to get puss.

I still don't understand how Riri is combat ready, considering her suit exploded when she stopped a truck.

This whole event would be better if characters had an actual reason to fight.

Some bullshit is happening

OH NO! THAT THING WE SAW IN THE PREVIEW FOR ISSUE 6'S COVER!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, HOW MANY BOOKS DO THEY EXPECT YOU TO BUY?

Fuck it, Bendis, just have Miles kill everyone. I don't give a shit anymore.

>Ulysses somehow conveniently is able to share his vision with a group of people who aren't even close to him.
>He conveniently shares a joint vision of someone on the same side as Stark killing someone else on the same side.
Wow, I don't think that's the most retarded thing I've seen all event but it's up there.

I'm just laughing at the whole thing. It's so bad it's genuinely funny.

GUYS we gotta stop fighting CIVIL WAR!!!! The black kid killed one of the white Captain Americas! He has to go to jail! This is CIVIL WAR after all!

Also, had to work in the "stop telln me how to be Spider-man bit" in the middle of fucking CIVIL WAR.

I genuinely think this is worse than the stuff your can read on Deviant Art for free.

Somewhere out there is a version of this basic story, but everyone is a hedgehog and it's better written.

I love that we've danced around the profiling thing for all these issues and it really all comes down to arresting some black kid. Honestly, I know he's Hydra, but Cap is still Cap… why wouldn't he say that this doesn't change anything? HE KNOWS THESE PREDICTIONS ARE FLAWED! None of this makes Carol right, it just means Ulysses can again send a vision to everyone when he's emotionally distressed. Meaning he's EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED.

I guess Bendis realized the obvious solution would be for the Guardians to take Miles into space for a while, so he blew up their ship… ignoring that there are tons of other ways to get Miles off planet or otherwise away from Cap without arresting him. Hell, Tony would logically assume responsibility and get him out of there. It's bad enough when I don't get why they're fighting, now I don't get why they stopped!

10/10

and they stopped cuz Miles has to go to jail. I mean, that's what you gotta do in Civil War sometimes. You gotta take a time out to put the guy ruining your larp in a cardboard box with "jail" written in sharpie on it. I mean, it's not like this is a real war or anything.

One thing's for sure, Miles dindu nuffin and if he does do sumfin it'll be justified.

This is an incredibly flimsy reason to keep them fighting.

I think this issue shows that it isn't quite a "fight" as much as it is a light tussle over a disagreement. Sure they are endangering lives and destroying the area they are wrestling in, but you know, super heroes will be super heroes.

It gets worse. I don't know if you've taken a look at the GotG tie-in further up in the thread, but Carl told the Guardians that Ulysses' predictions are 100% accurate and that Tony is the one ignoring all the evidence.

The day when miles becomes D-list canon fodder cannot come soon enough.

...

You know who could see the future? Axl Rose, that's who. "I don't need your civil war," indeed. That should be the hashtag people use when they tweet Bendis.

Hot damn, that skeleton lady in the second pic. I'd read a 90's style book about her.

It's really annoying too, because it's a great speech, but we have all the info, so we know Flash is mistaken. It has no sting because Miles isn't really betraying anything, he's been arbitrarily chosen to be "in the right."

Sums it up pretty well. I mean, seriously, some of the people fighting in Civil War 2 don't have all the details, and are just fighting because someone told them to. It's meaningless.

Honestly, Tony should have seen if they could manipulate Ulysses into a vision. Get a psychic to give him a false one if possible (if it can be done, no one can read his mind to find out) to force Carol out somewhere secluded. And THEN jump her, if that's really the best idea you can come up with.

Well, the main book is shit as usual, but something GOOD came out today, let's read that.

This all feels a lot more interesting because these are all personal fights, these people know eachother and we understand why they're doing things. Meaning this book is not written by Bendis.

Nightcrawler is pretty much the purest husbando to ever exist.

...

A reprieve.

And thus ends probably the best tie in for the whole event, and next month will start up Death of X. Which isn't written by Bendis, so it's got to be at least somewhat better.

In other news the latest issue of Carnage was amazing. Pretty neat how that series gets to avoid this shitshow of an event.

I think the biggest thing here that sets it apart from the main book (besides just being better written in general) is that it does feel like these are friends on other sides of an issue. Even the first Civil War had some lead up focused on Tony and Steve being buddies, so that even if most of the conflict was meaningless, the core of it could have some impact.

But Tony and Carol? I don't see it. They don't really seem like friends, this doesn't really seem personal. They come off more as associates at most. Who cares if they hate eachother forever after this. Even the old ties of Tony being her AA sponser were pissed on by Bendis himself when he had Tony, Cap and Thor all talk about having fucked Carol. Even moments when Tony tries to reason with Starlord come up as empty because the reasoning for Starlord being there is flimsy as fuck.

Oh well, it'll be over soon, and Captain Marvel will probably be revamped to match whatever the movie does to fix how shit of a character she is. None of this fucking event matters.

But that's not how it works

Sums up most comic book events.

The problem with the precognition shit is that their version of time travel and timelines is already fucked up. Remember Hope Summers and how she went to and came back from some version of the future? How the fuck can that version of the future exist alongside all these other possible futures where many of these characters die?

Like, how the fuck can days of Future Past happen where Future Charles Xavier does shit, when he died back during the Avengers vs X-men event?

Shit don't make sense, and it's only muddled further by the fact that all the visions are vague and limited.

And then it turns out that the person that is going to get killed asks to be killed because the accused character fled to the place where they were…

So are these future visions tainted by Ulysses's biases and PROFILING… Or are they intended steps towards a proper future where these events need to happen?

Or is this some third fucked up scenario where everyone is at war because this one jackass keeps telling them they are all going to kill each other if they don't go to war and kill each other? Because that's what it looks like.

They've written themselves into a corner where the path of the future is effectively being controlled by this one inhuman who keeps telling them exactly what they should be doing to ensure his version of the future happens.

In what circumstance would this ever happen? Last I checked they were both on Tony's side.

That Nightstar though, nice. Terrible taste in men though. Fucking Damien ruining shit.

Hey, where was this guy when Rhodey died, eh? He seems like part of the "family", right?

What do Lady Gaga and Detroit Metal City have to do with X-Men?

Except they've subverted visions before, right? Although, did we ever see the Thanos vision? Or were we only told about it? It's that his visions include the heroes saving the day because of his visions. So he would have known that Carol would assemble the z-list roster to fight Thanos and get Rhodey killed. Which he knows will further his plans. Maybe, I guess? I can't possibly see what the benefit could be. We see him before his powers and he's just a shy loser college student.

God I fucking hate Magik so bad.

She's my least favorite X-Man by fucking far. Especially after the Mary-sueing she got after AvX

I wasn't able to read any of this because the artist of the first comic can't draw Jessica and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

...

...

Why is she so pudgy?

...

...

...

So an ugly Jessica Jones story to find out that Ulysses is boring (which we already knew), an actually decently written and nice looking White Fox story (a character that seems interesting but I've never read before) and the en do this boring as fuck Nick Fury story that has been dragging on since issue 1. What was all that for? So he could figure out Shield will lie to him? Unless he's retarded he should have known that. It's not like they needed to explain away why he wasn't in the story, no one would care who he was or what he thought.

Let's lead in with an Art Adams cover… and then go into a big hamfisted speech by Bendis. This thread is coming full circle.

Marvel sure does like to piss off fans who aren't there any more.

Here we go.

They WANT to, but I can't see why anyone would care. I don't even know why original Nick Fury is still canon, I thought Secret Wars would just make Ultimate Nick Fury the one that's been around forever or something. Instead they just kept the overly convoluted idea? Why?

probably because, like you said, they want to piss off people who aren't there and potentially profit off manufactured outrage that simply isn't there any more.

So again, most of these people have no idea what is going on, and just showed up for a fight. And they're very theatrical.

I agree. It feels like Marvel just begging "PLEASE, be upset about black Nick Fury!" but I just can't CARE. There is a fucking Agents of Shield book with characters from the show in canon, Shield is a fucking joke. I don't care about who is in Shield anymore, it's a fucking mess.

So does Bendis know we tend to post these 3 or 4 images at a time? Seems like he's lined up for this EXACT gag already:
But then you do it twice in a row? That's two pages that really could have just been one. But then you'd have to write more.

And is this what Guardians is like under Bendis? This is boring as shit!

And in the end none of it matters and they couldn't even get to the stuff shown on the cover this issue. The next issue has a cover with EVEN MORE FIGHTING, which probably won't come up for several more issues. Bendis is so boring. Marvel doesn't deserve to sell books if they think Bendis writing 5+ of them is a good strategy.

This dialogue…is this like the Mockingbird issues? We're just supposed to accept that JJ has a concussion or something, and that's why everything sounds and looks like an acid trip?

Holy shit, I am physically hurt from the art whiplash. Also, the waifu bait is strong with the second story. It's worth the other two being dreck to get it.

Having said that…
Go fuck yourself. Black Fury is literally a joke. A meme spawned from an offhand comment in the boardroom. And that's the Ultimate universe, where he had the thinnest case for belonging. In 616, he's just a marketing gimmick. Why is this assertion of his uniqueness only now being delivered after something like 4 or 5 years of being in the comics?

HA HA, you spineless shills. Your dedication to artistic integrity is blowing my mind.

Why is shield lying to the boss of shield again? How did he get replaced with Hill? I'm 95% sure black guys are higher on the progressive stack than white women.

In hindsight, we really should have seen this coming. You thought racial profiling and BLM was merely a motif, but should we really have expected Bendis to be able to avoid making the whole thing about black people? Especially his black people?

Wasn't Ironman a member of the Guardians of the Galaxy for a little while? Why are they fighting?

Because Carol fucked them both retarded back in the day.

Because Bendis wanted them to fight. They aren't characters, they're action figures.

I remember John Boyega said the same shit about Star Wars or something like it. I find it really funny that these people think it's true that all anyone can do with something they dislike is deal with it. It's the entire cuck mentality boiled down into a few simple words.

All the more reason to hate LOK.

The "Boyega" style of "Stop Whining and Deal with it" is especially hilarious since they can't grasp the the the outrage is how people "deal with it" in the first place.

They essentially just say "carry on" when telling people to stop.

he also kind of misunderstood the question. People weren't asking why there were black people in Star Wars. They were asking why there was a black person working for the Empire.

I think he actually died in Secret Wars. Still shit.

Why wouldn't a black guy work for the Empire? Even going of old, OLD canon, where stormtroopers were all clones, by the time of the rebellion clones were based on generals and such who wanted to be the clone base purely for their own ego.

Anyway, wasn't a huge portion of the "outrage" over that just people trolling the media? I don't think anyone intelligent actually cared that he was black, but the media was hoping for it, and trolls gave them the "white genocide" story to run with. Anyone who feel for that was an idiot.

When will issue 6 come and mercifully end this shitty event?

Aren't they doing 8 issues?

8 horrific, agonizing issues of a sociopath who has let power goes to her head.

… are you fucking for real? 8 ISSUES OF THIS NOTHING? Bendis is such a shit writer he can't get an event where nothing fucking happens done in 6 issues?

Civil War II #0–8

Hey, show a little pity for Bendis. The series is failing & Fat Fuck has to polish the turd that is Capt Bulldyke into Box Office Platinum by 2019.

No, the movie writers are the ones who have to present her as a good character, Bendis can keep presenting her a crazy person as long as he wants. I'd have pity for Bendis if ANY of the 5 or more books he's writing right now were good. Though the very last part of that last Spider-Man issue was okay. So 3 good pages out of the last several hundred he wrote.

Loli Korra is cute though. The entire series should have just been about loli Korra.

Did Vision just kill a bitch?

It's Kitty Pryde. If she was killed then the entire issue would've been about that, the entire event would have been about that, this is Bendis after all. His little kike waifu is his pride and joy.

He really seemed to be trying if he shot hard enough to blow up their ship.

...

Magneto being the not-Nazi mutant sure but also a Jew that survived the holocaust and saw his people go to gaschambers in-universe.Now his people "mutants" are being gassed all over again and everyone seems to be complacent to the mutant holocaust. Honestly I don't see why he doesn't just storm J. Jonah's place and make a speech about how everyone who loves Inhumans and up for their schemes are literal nazis. They want fascism through Carol and write off the gassing of mutants because it creates more Inhumans. Then appeal to them saying that they won't stop at mutants, soon Inhumans will come for every non-Inhuman and either subjugate or exterminate them. All they're doing is biding their time and growing their ranks with each inhuman made from the cloud.

Then he ends saying, "For every Inhuman born, the blood of tens of thousands of mutants was the price of their power. If you would support their genocide of my people for their own gain then damn all of you! They are Hydra by another name, their practices the same! Mutants of the world, join me against this madness! I remember a time when I could not save my people were forced into chambers of gas by a genocidal tyrant! That's why I implore you to stand up against this horror! We will not let history repeat itself again, now now and not as long as we draw breath!

Mutants who are getting genocided by gas who have been thrown under the bus because Inhumans are the new flavor of the month.

No you shouldn't be angry that your people are getting killed and no one is doing a thing about it. If you fight the people who genocide you, then you deserve the genocide.

Jesus this is literally Trudeau's if you fight/kill the person killing you, they win bullshit. Also this is hilarious in hindsight because Jews shouldn't have fought the nazis because then they deserved the holocaust. Also holy shit they're actually going to do this and say that mutants deserve a holocaust because they didn't tow the line with Inhumans and accept the gas cloud genocide their family and loved ones in Death of X.

Did Marvel inadvertently go 1488 by doing a SJW mental gymnastic they twisted themselves into a swastika? I know Holla Forums uses red skull edits and bishie hitler from Cap's book but holy shit will they love this with a Jews deserve their fate edit using the above and the Death of X page.

When gods fight, they step on the ants.

Wow… this is so obvious I didn't even thought about it. Now, what would happen if someone involves any jew organization into this…? Oh please, let them cannibalize themselves further and give us something amusing to see.

I doubt that whoever wrote this understood it that way-
Same as with Red Skull, where the antagonist his more convincing then what the writer persumably wants hims to be.
It's just that SJW have no writing skill and next to o idea how to properly convey their thoughs no matter how fucking stupid and ilogical they are in the first place

What did he mean by this?

Drax is a big guy.

I forgot the Ulysses digital comic was still happening. In fact, I don't think I've seen a link for it since issue 3.

Issue 4:
readcomics.tv/civil-war-ii-ulysses-infinite/chapter-4/full

Issue 5:
readcomics.tv/civil-war-ii-ulysses-infinite/chapter-5/full

Issue 6:
readcomics.tv/civil-war-ii-ulysses-infinite/chapter-6/full

Well, it's Wednesday, let's squeeze a bit more into this thread before starting another to consume this shitshow of an event.

We'll pick up from here and see how our latest Hulk is dealing with things.

Well, this seemingly random Shield agent has my attention, lets see if he can keep it.

Little sharks!

HELLO KITTY
HAS JOINED THE BATTLE!

...

Lotta people turning into bugs lately. Looks like a job for the EDF.

Oh, and for those curious, you get a lot more Tongue in issue 4 and 5, so it's worth it pretty much for just that.

I only feel disappointment and disgust. Also, if Ulises or whatever the inhuman was called can see the future, why didn't he inform the Avengers or SHIELD about a crab people problem instead of once again fighting another hero because he has actual reasons to be angry?

Ulysses is biased towards bugs, and will not have visions that show them doing bad things. Bug people are a religion of peace.

Seriously, it seems like two outbreaks of people turning into giant bugs would be a problem he'd see pretty clearly.

Just a note, when King Kitty is talking about the Hulk nearly trashing the coast of Kenya I'm 90% sure he's referring to the incident where Cho took the hulk powers from Banner. Where Banner wasn't a threat because he'd decided enjoy a Moonman themed holiday but because he'd been using his powers to soak up excess radiation from a fusion reactor that had gone into meltdown. Doing so had apparently turned him into a nuclear bomb.

The entire thing is told in flashbacks in the first 4 issues of the Totally Awesome Hulk but to sum it up: Some reactor goes critical; Banner uses himself as a radiation sponge and then goes critical himself; T'challa, Tony Stark and some scientist called Monica Rappaccini decide that deporting Banner from this universe of reality is the only solution but Cho sneaks out behind their backs and nicks Banners powers and then either doesn't go critical or manages to harmlessly burn off most of the radiation.

Basically: BP either thinks that Banner should have been teleported to the Negative Zone for trying to save 50 million people or is pissed that Cho came up with an alternate solution to the problem by absorbing the Hulk powers and thus making his "needs of the many vs needs of the few" comment redundant.

Either way, with the example that he's given it seems strange he thinks having the Hulk is too much power and not deciding to chase down various other world leaders since the Hulks roll in that entire incident was basically as a nuclear reactor undergoing a meltdown. Hell, if anything he should be pissed at the Kenyan government for letting people test experimental fusion reactors in their waters rather than make do with fossil fuels like the rest of us barbaric non-Wakandans.

Ulysses has the most inconsistent powers ever, the entire premise of the Kingpin and Miss Marvel tie-ins is that he's so good he can effectively predict all crime everywhere to such a degree that heroes can stop them even taking place potentially even days in advance of any illegal activity. Despite this pretty much every other tie-in is full of events he apparently was unable to predict (despite them being crimes/disasters) or significant events or conversations where having foreknowledge of them would have radically altered how they'd have played out (see the big fight earlier in the thread which solved nothing and could have been prevented had Danvers simply moved her alleged terrorist out of the area or how he could have prevented this entire story arc if he'd warned Danvers not to tell Dazzler about the prediction).
.

So, to sum up Banner's entire life, the Hulk is a FUCKING HERO, and nearly everyone around him was a total asshole.

Exactly.

Greenscar did nothing wrong.

Comics are a loss leader for Marvel. Movies are where the money is at.

Why give Fox or Sony feedstock for new movies? Marvel merely wants a new movie franchise they can exploit. Good luck in finding a Chris Claremont caliber writer…

None of that bullshit makes a lick of sense. Do grown men actually read this trash? How utterly embarassing.

King nigger is the worst

well I guess it's time to read more Ulysses.

So its now tying in with the comic of the girl that was prophecized to kill a girl that became a bug? Awesome, ugh.

I think it's different bugs. Nico's future murder victim is in Colorado, and these bugs are in Texas. It's just weird to have two horrible bug monster epidemics going on and be completely unrelated in the same month… almost as if Marvel writers don't really talk to eachother at all.

We seriously have 3 more main issues of this? Aren't all the tie ins tying up already? It feels like everything so far could have been done in 2 issues.

Or easier, the writer already forgot about it and is making stuff up as he goes on.

Crap, man! You just found the solution to the problem. Frickin' congratulations. Now we just need it to get into their thick heads. Oh wait, they're still actively ignoring that OBVIOUS FUCKING REVELATION. Excellent.

Well, the thread will hit bumplimit now, so if anyone wants to storytime other bits of the travesty that we didn't get to, I'll read along.

The biggest thing I learned this time is that all the heroes are fucking idiots who sat on the Hulk vision thing for DAYS and the best they could still come up with was "let's show up like an army and hassle him".

The problem with the Civil War events can be summed up perfectly: it's one massive, contrived idiot ball plot where anyone can die.