Which portal should I take?

The creature tastes like bacon and cooked mayonnaise. I hear noises in the bush. Should I leave or investigate?

investigate

I get up to investigate the bush and a bunch of creatures pop out. They are angry and chase me. I have no weapon to fight them of with. What should I do?

Run as fast as you caj

I run as fast as I can in the opposite direction of the creatures and come across a wild jew. The jew stops me to ask for some change. I have none. The creatures are catching up and the jew won't move out of the way. What should I do?

Steal his hat and pretend to be Jewish. If life has taught you anything, those creatures are probably Zionist shills and won't attack you if you have the funny hat.

grab him and throw him to the creatures

Point at the animals and scream "NAZIS!"

I steal the jews hat and throw him behind me. The creatures hesitate and stare at my hat. They decide to go after and eat the jew. I run away and come to a magical tree with vines that can be climbed and a tunnel where the roots grow. Which way should I go?

go into the tunnel

It appears that the tunnel lead to Hell. It's hot here. Satan shows up and stares at me. He looks up at my hate and then says "Hi" in a tone of familiarity. He asks me if I am here for the globalist convention. Should I play along or tell him who I am?

*looks up at my hat

kek wrong choice taking that hat. I say tell him who you are. Make sure he knows you killed a jew and maybe he will go easy

I tell Satan that I actually through tthe Jew who owned this hat to the ground and let him be eaten and that I am not a dirty globalist. Satan stares menacingly at me but decides that because I helped kill someone that we can be friends and tells me to ditch the hat in this place. Satan takes me to his palace and offers me a room. One room comes with a succubi the other room has an ancient demon sword. There are others waiting to choose a room and will likely take the room I do not choose. Which room do I take.

2deep4me

demon sword room!

pls no bully

the ancient demon sword room so you can slay Satan

I promise I won't user

ty u wanna be buddy?

I choose the demon sword room. From the other room I can hear the moans of the succubi and the man who has now become her owner. I grasp the demon sword and feel ancient, mighty magic flow through my veins. The feeling of power is overwhelming and I soon feel a lust for battle. It is whatever the equivalent of night time is in hell. Do I go out and seek a worthy foe or do I sleep and make sure I am well rested for the morning?

sleep, regain your energy so you can escape back to the surface with the sword !

no

Fap

rub one out, you deserve it pal

y do no anons ever wanna be friends im a good guy

because you're probably a British pleb

i'm not im born and raised in the US

The lust for blood becomes to great and my manhood begins to awaken. I lay in my new bed and gently stroke my member, reminiscing on the feasting of the creature that I met this morning and the slaughter of the jew I met this evening. I pick up the pace. Fast and faster. The blood in my serpent begins to boil, the power rising within it. It overwhelms me. With my mighty phallus in hand I roar to the heavens from this fiery pit and let my seed shoot from my being with immense force. The ground cracked. I pass out and awaken the next day. What shall I do on this newfound morning?

kill yourself

im a lonely user whos always looking for a friend i'll be here all year

find satan

no thank you

After I awaken I remember what had occurred the previous night. The ground cracked beneath the weight of my now magically imbued seed. The power of the ancient demon sword had overwhelmed my mortal mind and continued to control me. Resistance to the lust for blood is met with pain. I panic. Desperately trying to regain control over my mind I smash my head into anything I can see. It does nothing. Finally I realize that the only way to end the blood lust is with blood. My own blood. I draw the sword. It's ancient, violet shaking in my hands. I turn the hilt around in my hands. Taking one last breath I plunge the sword into my abdomen. Immense pain follows and I topple over. I witness my own organs and blood take up my narrowing field of vision. As I am about to drift into unconsciousness I hear a voice. Laughter. In the doorway stands Satan, donning the strange hat that I once wore. His skin no longer red and the length of his horns seemingly transferred to his nose.

"Oy vey."

fukkkk plot twist,

if you're in hell though you can't die right?

The end

He was alive and just visiting. His soul can stay in hell though.

amazing story user

not bad to be completely honest

Thank you, user. I am thinking of writing the novel and getting a movie adaptation.

...

Not sure about all that, but you should do threads like these more often.

Perhaps someday we can discover what the realm of the Blue portal is like.

It's a world like our own since it is the bluepilled world. The Red portal is the redpilled world. The creatures are normies and the jews are evil beings that come from hell.

...

jej