STORYTIME: SECRET SIX

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Now on to the Birds of Prey/Secret Six special

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It seems like the cover for this issue is missing.

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Crap, I messed up. This special should go after first arc of the actual series. Spoilers!

You can skip it for now and I will link back to it when appropriate.

I posted wrong arc. This one should follow villains united special.

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If I wouldn't fuck it up, this is where Birds of Prey/Secret Six special would come.

It starts here:

At her absolute very best, Simone is only "just okay."

The only good thing about this book is the art.

Jesus that really turned to shit about half way through and it wasn't even good to begin with, it lured me in with the promises of villians and what I got were some mary sue shitters with awful writing and they didn't even tie up that shit with Lex fuck you OP.

The Lex stuff is handled in the main event this spun off of IIRC.
It did feel like they had a set structure half-written and told her to finish it, since you don't get unfathomable bullshit like the Mad Hatter jerking himself off with his hats until closer to the end.

Also thanks OP for the story time, I got a laugh out of it. but then I read all of The Movement(TM) storytime so I might just be a glutton for punishment.

Anyone who as ever praised Simone as a writer needs to shoot themselves, preferably in the language center of the brain. In what universe does a mythic hero utter the phrase "sweetass sports car"? The ones in which Simone is a shite writer, who just uses characters as conduits for her own voice. The same applies to Huntress pathetic attempt at espionage earlier. What kind of professional hero suddenly acts like an high school girl just because she's out of costume. "Eww," "Drop dead," and the meatball thing. W.T.F. It's so out of character.

I used to think Scandal was cool, and found it funny that she was literally a lesbian to get revenge on her father, it seemed kind of tongue-in-cheek. Now I know that it's just Simone's desperate need to shoehorn lesbians in wherever she can, probably mixed with a little bit of projection.

Why Gail? Why?

She seems to have a thing for disgusting men.

is Simone a lesbian herself or does she fetishize them?

I doubt she's a lesbian, she has a thing for vulnerable, deranged men. She went so far as to hook up the Rat King guy from the Movement with what is pretty obviously some sort of self-insert. But she definitely has some sort of obsession with them.

Because the whole "Alice in Wonderland" phase of the Mad Hatter was always going to peter out and go back to hats. However, because Gail Simone can't write, she decides to show his obsession with hats through masturbation as opposed to making him a raving lunatic bent on headgear.

It really disappoints me because I'm one of the few people who likes the Mad Hatter being mad about hats.

Gail considers herself "bisexual", but she's married and has a son.

The firsy Mad Hatter, Jervis Tetch, is obsessed with "Alice in Wonderland". It's the second Mad Hatter, Sheldon Moldoff, who's obsessed with hats.

Gail Simone like you guys are a bunch of fucking casuals.

Are you testing my power-level, son?

The "first" Mad Hatter was a fucking one shot character used for a Vickie Vale story in 1948. The "second" Mad Hatter, who first appeared in 1956 in Detective Comics #230, then again in Batman #161 (1964), Batman #201 (1968), Batman #291 (1977), Batman #297 (1978), Detective Comics #573 (1987), and was portrayed by David Wayne in four episodes of the 1966 Batman series, was Jervis Tetch.

The "first" Mad Hatter didn't make another appearance until 1982 in Detective Comics #510, and even then he has the exact same M.O. as the "second" Mad Hatter, to the point I could consider the "reappearance" of the "first" Mad Hatter simply to be a case of the artists Gene Colan and Klaus Janson. Then somewhere in the nineties they realized the mistake, simply called the unshaven one the "first" Mad Hatter and threw the other-one out.

Also, Sheldon Moldoff was a Batman artist.

Where do DC stand on the Mad Hatter being a child molester these days?

Is that Jay Garrick's hat?
I'd love to see this Mad Hatter just going around collecting super-heroes' hats. Jay Garrick, The Question, The Phantom Stranger, the golden age Sandman, the cowboy Vigilante, Green Arrow's little cap, Zatanna's top hat…

Now there's a crossover I'd fucking pay for.

I think she attaches some mythic quality to lesbians. If you look at The Movement and Secret Six, both are led by no-nonsense, tough-yet-feminine lesbians who are superior to their father figures. Does "twice is a coincidence," apply when there are so many points of overlap?

I really wanted them to do that in Batman: Brave and The Bold.

But no, they just kept taunting us by putting the original Mad Hatter in the background of every Batman villain meet up.

So she projects her own ideal of a lesbian onto these characters. Thats kinda messed up. Tell me does she have daddy issues? Also why would Vandal Savage need an heir? He's immortal. Ra's Al Ghul I can get because the Lazarus Pits have their limits but Vandal can come back from anything.

Why, indeed.