Questionable Malcontent - Mad Mod Edition

Edits: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Edits/tree/master
OC: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_OC/tree/master
Threads archive: gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_Threads/wikis/home

Older stuff
Edits: imgur.com/a/Sf5J0
Omits: imgur.com/a/HtKr0
Twitter Bully: imgur.com/a/Jb1a1
OC: imgur.com/a/kSZcE

I didn't get the chance to archive.is the old thread before it got purged, but I still have it cached so I guess that can go in the archives repo. OC and stuff from the last thread will go up in a bit.

You tell me, m8.

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Many thanks user.

These fags are so goddamned desperate for any notoriety. Its depressing really.

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All this time, the one protecting me…
[Stray Kek]

I think the guy is supposed to be this omega from the Vice Gaming piece about Chuck Tingle: The FMV Game

except he doesn't have black hair.

maybe there's two lines of clone: the "goony beard man" model and the ones with the jewfro.

They're preparing for a kickstarter by increasing their exposure. Progressive press are only too happy to help.

I think the other user is right and it's supposed to be Alex Lifschitz, Quinn's moneybags cuck boyfriend. But you do have a point at least in that all these guys look exactly the same.

Didn't Quinn break up with Lifschitz and he turned into a tranny?

I know Jeph sucks at drawing, but that would be a spectacular failure even for him.

apparently they're still friends, just not fucking anymore.

It's Nathan Grayson, by the way.

My God would Editfag Prime have a field day with Zoe Quinn being in the comic. He already made Faye into her sister back in the old Edit canon. Imagine the bullshit that he would have done with that one simple panel.

We should let Editfag II know.

the moon runes in the last panel say "bukkake".

wait a second…

let's try exporting that again.

My grandma has that framed on a wall in her home.

日本語が上手ですね

...

Mudamuda is what should be there
also

Disappointing

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Nice try, whoever tried this.

The plot

Errytime

after lasagna-shitting out like 50 of these, it's probably time. ia, ia, R'në fthagn.

I guess you gotta look on the bright side

these chat logs are (michael_jackson_popcorn.gif)

Which reminds me, what the fuck happened to Marten's rock band?

Stinkybitch and Pedo broke up and killed the band.

Finally fixed the git repos and stuff. Pretty sure I didn't miss any of the edits before the nuke, so despite HighJinx being cuntacular we lost nothing. The archive I tried making out of my cached page is mangled because using the built-in screengrab feature on a thread that's 404'd makes things fucking weird.

What the fuck happened actually? Did we get redwooded?

archive.is/pLTw2

From what I can tell, basically some tripfag in the jojo general shitposted himself into a mod position, then nuked everything he didn't like, which was most of the board. Have a look at the modlog, the stuff by "deleted?" is his shit.
8ch.net/log.php?page=2&board=co
Link related is the thread he stickied to gloat, I can't embed the picture because it's apparently too big. my.mixtape.moe/rdqelc.png

Jojofags. Not even once.

Au contraire, my dear user. It was some retarded autist who fucked up a simple storytime. He was so fucking butthurt about Jojofags laughing at him that he cooked up this idiotic scheme in order to get back at them, and all of Holla Forums for some reason.

Fucking how?

Simple.

He hand't even downloaded the fucking comic before making the thread.

IT'S FUCKING RAW

What a moron. I hope the Jojofage went all URA URA URA on his ass.

...

Finally, an excuse to post this!

totally legit, 0% autism

>Oh yeah, they STILL seem to think I'm this guy that fucked up a power girl storytime

lol, good on Holla Forums for not buying any of this shit. This is one of the worst image board "victories" I've ever seen.

I once argued with a tripfag about whether some tech blog that no longer exists was meh or not. I did it for about five minutes, did something else, went to bed. Halfway through the next day I check in and the guy was still there, totally flipping out, accusing what must have been a dozen or more anons over a period of anons of being the same person stalking him during an uninterrupted 16 hour argument. 800 posts maybe?

Hilarious typo. Second anons was supposed to be "hours".

> I AM GOD

Drunk with the power… of an imageboard mod.

Pathetically hilarious.

So that's what happened. Capped so someday when I'm feeling down I can look at this and laugh.

This is because they have genuine mental problems. You have to have mental issues to adopt an identity and hold to it so stubbornly on a fucking anonymous imageboard.

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(checked)
the other option would be to not be Jeph Jacques, but obviously he can't pull that off.

too bad Suicide Squad was determined to be Haram by the Feminarchy.

Why Is He Capitalizing His Words?

He Wants To Be Tyler The Creator Or Possibly Jaden Smith?

How Can Knives Be Real If Our Hands Aren't Real?

Can't wait for the hot topic sales rising through the fucking roof.
Thank fuck people I'll be sticking with for this halloween are as bitter and burnt out on everything as me. No popular shit, not even ironically.

Played out meme is played out

I'm conflicted. On one hand, we actually get a tiny bit of character introspection. On the other, they're talking about offscreen happenings again.

Speaking of sperging out over image filenames, when'd the format change?

Jeph really knows how to pace a once per week strip.

how long before he just goes to one panel per day?

I can only imagine the eyestrain glowing glasses cause.

I wonder what the chances of getting this are.

Nice try, Rosenberg.

Probably just culturally appropriating black naming conventions.

Someone should tell Jeph vaporwave is a thing because of 4chan.

You'd think there's be some point at which these people take a step back and reevaluate their priorities but even potential financial ruin won't do it. Also: 8 hours is fucking fast! Jesus, how fast do you want it? Maybe you could try not using password1234 on every site. That might help.

You know, this one is surprisingly not terrible. Almost too not terrible. Decent, even. Are we sure this isn't a guest strip?

Oh, and Butterball has a support line because they sell actual products that you pay for and are probably required to have a contact line per USDA regulations.

He answered his own question there.

I know. And if it weren't the comic's #1 exposition device, I wouldn't even mind the off-screen talkings. It…it even….Claire's pose even works in panel 1

If Twitter had a phone number they'd complain about the 8 hour hold times because Twitter makes no money and can't afford operators or subcontracted call center.

did Jeff always remember to draw the tranny's atom's-apple?
Am I just noticing now?

I know it's been there before. I think before the reveal there was a collage passed around like the "no lips" one pointing it.

I will insist straight to my last breath, that Claire was an actual girl up until Jeph needed to up the diversity ante and include a tranny.

As seductive as the idea is…I think we may be wrong.

I… I don't remember seeing that there originally. FUCK! Did we get memory holed again?! I refuse to believe that my autism would have missed such a thing!

I wouldn't worry too much. My autism is screaming about how that isn't where the Addams Apple ought to be.

DID WE MAKE IT BACK? Quick, what was the Gore Administration's response to 9/12 in this timeline?!

Oh my god, I'm not crazy. I fucking knew it was ei but I couldn't find my old books in the attic. I love you user.

How long until Sir Handstab gets his bank account hacked and ends up selling his flabby hipster ass on the street to make ends meet?

They're still watching. Keep your head down.

PERTIM ANSI ERMO HAIN GIREM

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I completely forgot somehow
But also I specifically remember pointing out to people that he drew her with a big spiky bump on her throat. So maybe it's like that episode of that show where the group goes through time to get to their universe and they finally get to a place and it turns out that the place they are in isn't their place and they find this out because exactly one thing is starkly different and they explain that they have to leave because it isn't their universe. We don't get to choose though.

oh fuck I forgot to sleep

I'm surprised there's not a single t-shirt with this decal at this point b0ss

I wanted to know, should I start posting the aging of dumb/David willis edits here, since the thread for it died during the purge ? It's connected in many ways.
Just asking, don't wanna start shit here if it'd sound like being offtopic
polite sage

I always enjoyed hearing about the continuing retardation of Willis, it gave us something to laugh at during the Two Friggin Days or just whenever discussion got a bit quiet. I'd say go ahead.

Why not?

Well was afraid this here was dedicated to Jeph's stupidity only, and so asking people if I could dump Willis' seemed… I dunno, out of place. And wouldn't want to steal other editors' great work either.
Should I dump the hundred edits made so far ? Haven't been able to edit the last week since the thread got deleted and I don't visit the guy's site.

Don't you guys in the DoA thread have your own imgur archive like we do?

Nah, we never really bothered. I never had an imgur account and no one seemed to care enough since the thread was a bit slow.

I haven't done this shit in a long-ass fucking while. Here, have some mock latin.

Cover fag returns!

I'm not the editfag or anything but I don't see why these threads can't merge.
Well except that I personally find your namefagging distasteful but I can put that aside if no one else minds having you here.

Also just in case someone might want to use for edits.

I never really went away, I just didn't do shit like a lazy fag I am.

Don't worry, I'm used to people being annoyed at the namefaggotry; it's expected
Well I'm uploading everything to imgur right now (turns out you don't need an account to have so many pics uploaded together), and putting them back in order; that way I won't spam this thread.

Shit, that's hilarious.

I've always enjoyed your work; I only wish I'd bothered to save more of it.

First one isn't actually mine, it was made by the baggy pants guy or so I am led to believe.

Well, here you go. 101 edits of Dumbing of Age.
imgur.com/a/Qr2qr
I'd just like to mention that, if indeed the two edits were to merge, that would imply being forced to go, every day, through one of David Willis' pages of his webcomic.
Someone would have to visit his site and bring back something like pic related (the latest one that was posted in the thread before it 404'd), and then post it here for everyone's cringe.
So… yeah. You better be sure that's what you lot want.

Wait… why the fuck is it all out of order ? I swear to fucking god… I spent twenty minutes putting them back…

From an administrative perspective, I'd prefer to not have the threads merge - that's more stuff I'd have to keep track of in the git repos and it wouldn't be explicitly related to QC.

Yeah, that's a bit the feeling I had as well. Again, if it becomes bothersome I'd leave it at that; was just wondering, since there still was no DoA thread.

Well, guess everything's in order now. No idea what the issue was before.

In my blistering hot opinion, QC thread is already slow enough for this to not be an issue. And since audience of threads was rather interconnected to begin with, there won't really be any complexity increase.

Still, I don't like the idea of making the thread a general for two topics. Not to sound like a paranoid faggot, but I think that's a slippery slope - if we start covering two SJW comics, what's to stop us from deciding to cover more later? We'd go from slow but on topic to maybe a bit faster but all over the place. Personally, the only comic I have enough of an investment in to rip on is QC. Bringing in more comics would lower the signal to noise ratio.
Not to say we couldn't talk about DoA in here, but preferably when there's some tangible relation to QC, like Jeph talking about it on twatter or if something goes down with the tranny in DoA.

Why not remake the thread? Take the initiative.

I could, but… I'm a namefag. And I'm fully aware many people would just be mad at the thread or avoid it for being posted because of that.

Have you considered not namefagging?

You're gonna have an easier time asking me to stop drinking.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

There's more chance of Jeph learning to draw perspective properly.

Probably doesn't matter with these low res files, but imgur recompresses non-account images. Just an FYI if you notice a quality drop and wonder what's going on.

There's always Volafile, if you don't mind it erasing in 5 days.

You need to go back.

The show was Sliders. The group kept going from universe to universe trying to find their original home. When they do that live happy lives with their family only to discover that the Golden Gate bridge was blue in that universe instead of red.

I thought I was wrong but I totally did remember that correctly, that's so fucking dumb.

that could put Clit dangerously close to having a snowball's chance in Hell with Brun.

Who says it should be Clit wearing it? I can see Marten wearing one because that's what he does for living apparently

also I don't think Clit wears t-shirts

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Stop posting lasagna.

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I like hunting for lasagna every edit.

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why is she job hunting? obviously she is Faye's replacement at Coffee of Doom. does Jeph think that he can make this any less predictable by dragging it out until next year?

I actually like this a lot

Was Minxy the original YouTube high angle boob whore?

Probably the most realistic characterization Jeph's given.

coming soon from chuck tingle: Pounded In The Butt By Someone On The Spectrum

Yeah but they're drawn the same way and have characters acting the same. People think they're in the same universe due to a lack of creativity. It's a warning, Jeph.

The latest fad in SJW land is anti-humor advocacy, with The Young Turks hilariously leading the charge.

LOL @ Jeph being triggered by the above guy's perfectly reasonable question. This is what he means by "harassment", just asking a benign question.

Man Jeph retweets the worst comics. This is absolutely horrid.

Jeph, it would have been better to just not respond instead of showing everyone you can't explain your reasoning.

she(?) also did an Oh Joy Sex Toy. when will Jeph?

Somehow the polished version of her art looks even worse than the sketch work.

I wonder what the response would be if the genders were swapped in panel 5.

This is grade school level advice, typical of these progressive supposed sex experts who talk like virgins. The two strips in sequence really paint a picture: a grown woman demanding her mother fly across the country to take her of her as she moves on a whim. Of course she'll be infantalized. Then, on top of this, she has deviant sexual preferences. A recipe for disaster.

Probably. But it's a close call.

Because nothing is sexier than breaking your rhythm and taking the situation in a clinical direction while simultaneously revealing your inability to assess your sub. It's people like this that screw it up for everyone else.

for a second I thought you were describing fifty shades of grey.

at one point, the main character flies across the country to visit her mother, and the S&M guy takes a private plane to inflict his deviant sexual desires on her (the main character not the main character's mother). said deviant sexual desires are related to his own mommy issues, since he only gives girls who look like his mom the ol' slap-and-tickle

jesus_christ_how_horrifying.png

These people don't want a real dom/sub relationship. They just don't want to do any work.

why do you support the Wage Gap?

She talks like BDSM is something you just jump into in your mid-20s, rather than something you developed gradually probably since being a teenager. Pull my hair, next spanking, later tie my arms down with stockings but fuck me regularly, a gradual escalation, not a head first jump into kink.com type stuff. But it wouldn't surprise me. These people are poseur phonies at everything else, why not sex?

I get what she's saying, but that's kinda against the whole point. The sub gets off on powerlessness. It's one of the reasons why CEOs and other powerful men are into BSDM so much; it's the only time in their lives when they aren't steamrolling everyone around them.

Sure, estabish an eject button, but short of that, the sub isn't supposed to have a say, and that's the way the sub likes it. Micromanaging the "dom" the whole time with timeouts, chats about feelings, and a fucking bulleted list isn't BDSM.

They can at least make the eject button sexy. Don't just say "Yeah, these pins are hurting my nipples, can you remove them", be a good sub and beg your dom to remove them so that the flow isn't ruined.

...

Fucking casuals.

I guess she had his phone number all along? I thought the source of tension here was that she lost his number and they couldn't reach each other anymore outside of random chance.

Maybe he gave it to her off panel. Wouldn't want to take up prime standing around panel space. Except that doesn't make any sense either because she starts texting him immediately after bringing up her phone for the first time in the conversation. HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHAT NUMBER TO TEXT?

If I recall correctly, she had his number all along, but Clit didn't have hers, so he couldn't contact her unless by random chance.

so the ink didn't get washed out after all?

Oh, I forgot about that. Jeph probably did too.

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It's a little alarming that Jeph seems to have the memory retention of an 85 year old man. He's not even a stoner. Old man GRR Martin is probably sharper and makes fewer mistakes.

I think it's more likely that he's just stopped caring. It's not like his diehard fans are going to stop sending him Patreonbucks, so he can just spend even less time shitting out comics and more time whining about liberal talking points on Twitter.

I get that, but I'm the same age as Jeph and can recall tons of shit that I don't really care about for a far greater period than he can. It's like his apathy is active: "I'm not not caring enough today; I have to not care even harder!"

He's on the final leg of his journey to obtain perfect apathy and reach enlightenment. Once he does, his very being will be folded into the fabric of time and space as he becomes one with the great "Meh" that deprives all thinking creatures of their will to do things. Every complex life form will stop and gaze listlessly at nothing in particular as his will to not give a fuck blankets the earth and spreads across the galaxy and beyond. It will reach the outermost boundaries of what can be known as existance and slowly smother reality. Molecules will stop bonding, atoms will stop reacting, the strong nuclear force will not be able to maintain its hold, and nobody anywhere will be able to give a shit anymore as entropy takes hold and reduces all of Everything to a dark, cold cloud of base particals.

Because it's easier than working on his art and thinking more than a week ahead in his story.

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That's pretty good user.

you fucked up
9/10

maybe it's Claire's.

I'm guessing she's the kind of autist that remembers every number she's ever been exposed to

It's not really fun or joyful, you're just spaced out to shit and back.
My advice, if you want to get enjoyment out of drugs - get some mescalin and a babysitter so you don't accidentally fly out of your window on a great eagle

Jesus christ

We've got to either encourage him to try harder or make him end the comic immediately. Jeph's apathy and laziness is an existential threat to everyone.

The OG Omit fag here.

I hear you problems,

I feel bad for you, son

I got 99 problems and a

Mod ain't one

Here's all Omit's I have ever made or saved. Might be missing some of the later ones since I delete those.

filedropper.com/omit

You're more than welcome to virus scan and do whatever you need to. I'm just helping out.

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Good to know you aren't kill.

Jeph passively aggressively taking a swipe at his audience for knowing more about his story than he does.

"clip her nails" is code for degenerate BDSM bestiality.

Sorry to have missed my ass-kicking (unlikely).

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it's only a featureless void because Jeph is too lazy to add any more detail than a two or three perspective lines

He's really dooing it, isn't he?

riveting

Uh wow that's a real uncomfortable looking position for her to be adopt, kind of looks like she's trying to conceal her butt from Jeph. Couldn't imagine why she'd want to do that.

The only decent thing about this comic is Clinton's passive aggressive hatred for his tranny brother

We can stop this. He can only succeed if he remains emotionally unmoved. all is progress will be lost if we get him to do another patented handstab freakout.

That's… an amazingly dark look into Jeph's damage psyche. Like holy shit man we know you're fucked but still that's some shit.

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alt. filename, title or footnote: "Oh, Sweet Nuthin'" because I was listening to the Velvet Underground.

Images of Jeph being shunted into a world full of knives came unbidden into my mind. A lurching creature of inhuman proportions that he can only catch in his peripheral vision whispers that one of those knives will send him home, and he knows how to do it.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperion_Cantos#The_Shrike

The best part is how much more interesting you've made it look.

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In the endless back-and-forth at Spacebattles, it's generally accepted that, outside the Culture universe, The Shrike is the only thing that rates about even with Son Goku and Pre-Crisis Superman.

Why is jojo never far behind meme magickery?

Don't you get it? Everything has a little JoJo in it.

Oh hey someone actually glued those two together.

>>>/jojo/
>>>/a/

Don't you have a Powergirl storytime to be fucking up?

Don't y- ah fuck someone else made this joke already. Fuck off anyway.

fucking rekt

maybe now it will post

Has teh jeph ever gave the backstory on how claire became a tranny?

And then Claire was a tranny.

AKA there is no backstory, it's quite literally SJW appeasement.

SHE WAS ASSIGNED MALE AT BIRTH YOU TRANSPHOBIC MISOGYNIST SHITLORD TRUMP SUPPORTER REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Other then that, nice job.

I've decided there's a portal to the Walkyverse in the basement of Coffee of Doom.

Jeph's terrible retweeted comic of the day. Someone really needs to explain the concept of jokes to these people.

jokes are an oppressive tool of the patriarchy used against margianalized folx to punch down.

I read that as

no reason it can't be.

that might explain why CoD is still in business - they're being kept afloat by a Ferengi spider.

I meant this rom

What's the difference?

I'm seeing more and more of this. These people think everyone outside of their hugbox is a vicious troglodyte so anything goes. The resultant 2-minutes of hate style propaganda is so thoroughly unpersuasive I suspect it drives a lot of the radicalization we're seeing.

somebody needs to drawfag a Ferengi Drider.

err, Ferider? Frider?

This is why hostility is needed. If the social consequences of bombing were in their heads they'd try harder to come up with something amusing. It's not like PUA dating sites, which I assume is what's being mocked, are unassailable and have no mockery vectors.

Give him eyes
give him eyyyyes

He can't, SJWs go absolutely batshit when you show a tranny before they decided to present as an attack helicopter.

He really does abuse that dog doesn't he?
I've never seen a dog look so miserable in so many photos ALL THE TIME.

...

So now the robots require sleep and suffer from insomnia.

they're going to cause The Blink, I'm telling you.

I'm getting narrative whiplash and it's only Wednesday.

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Oh right, I forgot he put May in white-face. Looks a little jarring with the rest of her body still being blue.

wait that would be far more interesting than anything jeph can write

I realize this is Jeph we're talking about, but, man, is this character inconsistently drawn. I figured out who she was due to process of elimination more than recognition.

I see them slip into the scene from time to time. They generally reveal themselves because they talk endlessly in 'me' terms and are constantly pointing out how they're really super-strong IRL and this is just an escape for them and blah blah blah blah blah. (It never occurs to them why anybody should care about these details.) The kinks they want to pretend to have are curated to present the identity they think will make them interesting and unique, plus a light dusting of detachment so they don't have to actually do anything and fail. Diet self-affirmation spiked with a shot of novelty, stirred.

Sometimes they come out alright, but mostly they tend to be exhausting and completely unsatisfying.

Topping from the bottom, it's called. It's what happens when a sub is utterly artless but still wants to go for a ride without the trust or any actual transfer of control. They hand over control then constantly yank it back while pretending they haven't, then wonder why only crap doms will play with them more than once. Establish limits and general direction beforehand, fucksake, don't stumble-grope your way through things.

I saw one such writing about her monumental realisation that the purpose of a safeword is to allow struggles, refusal and coercion to be part of play. She went on and on about how "we've been getting it wrong this whole time" and how great this was for all subs like her. (Never occurred to her how safewords make a dom's life much easier, of course. We're ultimately there to do what she wants, right? Just like her Dad did if she smiled just right.)

Fucking hipsters.

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well, this edit isn't getting any done-er.

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Braw medicine?

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Can you imagine a "Weapons of Mass Destruction" version of MLP? A bright, colorful, musical show where each character is a different type of bomb, and every week they solve problems and teach a valuable lesson in friendship?

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God damn I love me some Animatrix.

There are people who don't?

Yes, people with no taste.

But those aren't people

Why do all of you bdsm folks seem so cringey goddamn dude

We regularly shitpost in a thread dedicated to such people.

I challenge anyone to demonstrate to me a female "real human being" who weighs 200 lbs of muscle.

Speaking of Jeph being a phony

Oh honey, no one will care when this happens.

Men! Don't approach women! They don't want to talk to you! But don't disengage and turn into a MGTOW or something! You'll be neglecting your societal duty!

Jeph attempts to lecture us on storytelling with maximum self awareness.

Hell yeah, twitter shitposting.

Russia.

>coming from the guy who likes when jokes are explained

I presume he's jizzing all over himself to The Expanse, just like Brianna Wu. or will be when season two airs with the Samoan lady space marine.

Jeph Jeph Jeph, I know you're hopped up on goofballs and balls deep in Shelley but most of Alice Grove could be described like that.

Literally just joined master race this year. Had no idea what I was doing AT ALL. Took maybe like a month of research tops and that's only because I have an actual job/social life unlike handstab
Fuck this worthless dumbfuck

PREVIOUSLY, ON QUESTIONABLE CONTENT:

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it could even be just the gynoid on one big panel with a string of back and forth conversations around her through the wall, but no he actually made 5 black panels and 1 shot of blue bitch

not bothering with the rest of the strip

it was either this or a loss edit

Why is Blue turning into Blue Iraqi Peppermint Patty?

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Went from 2/10 to 0/10 once I figured out what those tiny blurry words were.

Honestly, everything we talked about Dom/Sub applies to this page as well.

whoops, forgot a couple of things.

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Why are there baseball bats on the top right?

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Where'd this come from?

It's not just that he can't figure out how to build a PC, it's that he won't do it because that's something "hardcore gamers" do and he doesn't want to be part of that group. Even if he had a genuine interest in something and was competent enough to learn how to do it, he still wouldn't if it was something that wrongthinkers also do. Because identity politics run his life.

It's kind of funny and weird seeing someone ask for what kind of prebuilt desktop to buy. Who knows? Who cares? No one older than 14 and younger than 65 buys prebuilt desktops. Just build one, it's overwhelmingly the better choice.

it's linked from the main QC page, and probably will be for a while because jeph can't figure out how to put the link on the same page as the comic that referenced it.

Is that the only "exclusive" strip besides this?

HHHHHHWHHHHHOOOOOOOO?

I don't understand how this comic has so many forgotten side characters. I thought this was a comic about Marten and the crazy whores he hovers around bitching about things, how does leg eating dinosaurs fit into that

She's a character who was in five strips and hasn't been seen since strip #30 in 2003.

The dinosaur gag is an inside joke from the cast page. She's the very last one.

Unsensored strip #10
TRIGGER WARNING

He just makes me sick. All social signaling libtard faggots make me sick. I hope he never has children

Turns out Sara was in one more strip. LOL, I totally forgot about this cucking.

Jeph is a hack who squandered any and all moderately and/or potentially interesting parts of his comic's universe.

lol bullshit

Alice Groves is a comic that was ASSIGNED the label of updating twice a week. Don't be a shitlord and accept that Alice Groves doesn't fit your labels.

Is this another tranny?

...

I'm sorry, I'll check my cis-scheduling privilege.

that latest strip is a bitch to edit, since it's just one panel repeated five times with different backgrounds, and one appearance of R'në at the end.

this essentially demands near-complete reinventions of all of the backgrounds, which can get time-consuming when you start to fixate on little details. also, this concept probably would've worked better storywise as cutaway gags during previous strips, showing IPP's (lack of) progress while the other characters' stories continued. but that's far too much to ask of Jeph.

(the "dirty talk" in the robot bar is quotes from Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy)

Knowing King Handstab, it's probably both.

Nice dubs, BTW.

She's not a main character he intends to shill to death, so my bet is no. He probably judged he worked OH SO HARD on the strip already, so he neglected to give her lips. Or straight-up forgot to.

as jeph probably says to himself every day: ah, fuck it. good enough.

what's the video?

I've got to stop laughing at things I dare not explain to anyone I know.

Tumblrisms really are a wonderful thing, aren't they. [dogs howling]

MED RESISTANT AIDS

"I fuck dogs, get over it."
[DOGS HOWLING]

This thread is the only reason I visit Holla Forums.
Thanks for bringing me up to date with handstab. It's an obsession I can never lose. There will be a day in my life, 20 years from now on, that I will try to read this mess once again from the beginning. Considering I already did that three times, that's.. quite depressing.

You know what's really depressing? The fact that the adopted children of this puncture prone waste of chromosomes will have a more financially stable future than yours will. Moreso if this sub-fanfic tier writer is still financially secure atop his Garfieldesque empire while we are trying to choose between new clothes or enough food.

Fuck. Thanks for that.
Guess I'm thankful I can still afford booze then.

wew lad

He's safe unless some college student launches a Kickstarter to build a 19-string bass. Jeph will fund the whole thing himself.

19 FRIGGIN STRINGS

Perhaps this is our true calling. Ruining him after creating such a thorough psychological profile with data compiled over the course of the life of these threads, perhaps this will be the world's most collaborated assisted suicide.

lol bullshit

And then there's this.

at the very least there should be a third impact "accident" involving a knife and a hand.

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great, now the hack ruined ASMR as well

fuck me, that took a while but when i got it…

I thought Elliot had Pintsize's giant head in a lock.

So fellas, what happens when the situation doesn't de-escalate?

Saying that she stabs herself in the hand with the harpoon is cheating because that's way too fucking obvious.

I choose to believe this edit is cannon and proceed from there.

Holy shit did Brun look a whole lot less fat in the first appearances. I blame the nigress on fatting her up.

If the bar was actually seedy instead of Tumblr seedy, then she'd harpoon a motherfucker. The whole point of having a behind-the-bar weapon is to be the most dangerous person in the bar and use that fact to ensure order and safety, since any weapon that can be snuck in will be less dangerous than the large behind-the-bar weapon. Half of that threat is knowing that the bartender is willing to go the distance to protect everyone else in the bar, so not shooting when the chips are down turns your bar into a lawless zone where that weapon is pointless. The original shotgun version is superior to the lolrandumb harpoon version for this reason as well.

5 panels

4 panels

he's counting back up? (I presume he has to stab his hand again when the panel count reaches one or zero.)

Those are fakes user

Clit would join team Instinct, that fucker.

READ THE MANUAL YOU FUCKER
THERE'S BIG FUCKING PICTURES

Or watch one of the thousands of "how to assemble a PC in a few minutes" videos.

Impossible. Self-help instead of signaling and whining goes against the very foundation of their thought process.

I'm shocked and disgusted user. There is literally no reason to ever use a weapon of war against a human being.

You're supposed to call them police and let them kill a nigger.

Killing niggers? That's problematic user. This is why the police are evil and racist.

They should still be the only people with guns tho.

Logical Increments has a video where even the "marketing officer" (secretary) builds a PC. Jeph can't compete with Jamie the chick who spruces up the Google Ads filters.

It's hilarious that Jeph can't even Google and resorts to crowdsourcing Twitter. Then he gets angry and bans people when their answers don't match the incomplete answer in his head arrived from ignorance.

Haven't you heard? Ignoring all logical reasoning is the defining feature of the 2010-2019 decade.

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This is pretty much my favorite gimmick. Possibly because I watched a lot of Muppets growing up. Bonus points for how well their discussion matches Jeph's art. Double Word Score for the gag that replaced her "creepy laughter".

I-I'd probably pay to watch Bron lick her own feet on webcam.

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I was bored.

LOL, that Pintsize head. It works so well.

Forgot that fucking Mogwai poster in panel 3

Works for me, too. I generally hate it when webcomic authors do it with their own material but third parties are fine.

there's just one in 3, then they multiplied

It's fucking with my head

useless filler

welcome to the nightmarish world of the jephverse. non-euclidean geometry, indie music, cyclopean ruins, etc.

Have you forgotten what is a Mogwai? Someone sprayed it with water. Great mistake.

wew

that's a better/more accurate title than questionable content.

yes, jeph. you can finish that bottle. bottoms up!

Fucking entitled people, trying to get what they pay $10k/month for!

Speaking of which, have some of the slowest moving "plot" of all time.

Beats me. I was gonna say the robots are talking in Blambot but that's probably not what he's talking about. He probably just forgot he's supposed to be using another font for them.

So this is Jeph's idea of great dialogue.

Trips confirm, Jeph has broken the world record for slowest moving plot.

Keep berating him, maybe he'll stab his hand!

Jeph's such a poe that I can't figure out whether he's actually butthurt or not. Apparently I'm not the only one since only one person bottered to reply to the second tweet.

Sometimes I get why Jeph cares so little. These people are impressed by everything he does.

jeph doesn't even know that Japan has solved all of his characters problems already

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Japan has options.

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Requesting rule34 of blue sexbot cranking a dude off please.

Or r34 of sexbot and lolibot making out.

there's a circumcision joke lurking somewhere in the concept of May cranking off a dude, but I don't want to start a cut vs uncut fight via edit. circumcising jeph's hand is 110% kosher tho

I can't even tell if that's on purpose or if Jeph was too sexed out after visiting Shelley's rug to notice

They arrived at the hole in the ground on June 27.
What'sherface woke up from her coma on May 16.
Them chatting with the chick after the gun fight and then sleeping in her cabin only to be attacked by the poorly drawn nightwalker thing goes back to February 16.
Them talking about going to gun lady's house dates back to October of last year.

So all they've done in 11 months is walk to a house, get shot at for no reason, mull around until nighttime, fight some stupid shadow creature with unexplained motivations, ride a wagon to a mining site, and, oh, we're at the present.

I get the feeling this is leading into some SJW body-shaming preaching, but can't for the life of me imagine how it will make sense.

Pick one.

If you think about it, the androids' conversation makes more sense than the real world analog. They're tending toward more aesthetically and tactilely pleasing forms while in our world people who talk about this stuff justify and glorify unhealth.

Why would you not kill yourself at that point? And I mean in an active way, not by continuing to eat yourself to death.

False, and scientifically demonstrable. It's amazing how this group can accept global warming yet be skeptical of modern medicine, vaccines included. They also reject biology and evolutionary psychology yet will declare themselves champions of science unlike those primitive right wingers.

Yes they do, and the mechanism is quite simple:
calories > metabolism => gain weight
calories = metabolism => maintain weight
calories < metabolism => lose weight

I realize this is a lot of science to absorb but I promise it's true.

I always wonder what these people mean by statements like this, and they never sufficiently clarify. Like, do they think we think they're another species. It's especially confusing when otherkin and multiple systems people do this. They're simultaneously human and not human, whatever serves the argument in the here and now.

Hard to believe something can rival "fat != unhealthy" in wrongness but here we go. Dignity is something you generate, not something you receive. It's like saying society owes you muscles or practical skills. It's not something someone else can do for you. Such a statement is a window into how these people think. Imagine someone saying "I deserve a law degree and to try important court cases because I am human and deserve this."

And, no, humans don't deserve respect. That's something you earn. Only a fraction of humans deserve respect, and not across the board. There are plenty of people who would be otherwise useless beyond their one key job function.

No U. You people wanted socialized healthcare. Well, this is the consequence. My "raises" now go to Obamacare and its soaring cost is largely due to people like you. "Oh, I only go to the doctor like 5-6 times a year." Bitch, that's how often I've needed to go during my adult life.

LOL this conspiracy theory. You have it backwards, sweetie, they're responding to consumer demand, not the other way around.

As it should be. I worked with a really fat guy. He'd break about 3 office chairs a year and the things cost $250-$500. His job was to fix computers and help with basic application usage but no one would call him because he'd be sweaty and out of breath, sounding like he's on death's door, just slowly shambling about the office. Seriously, the guy got as winded moving from desk to desk as some moderly in shape guy would running a 10k. He was fired and rightly so; he was so fat as to be totally ineffective at his job, to the point of sleeping for hours a day because staying conscious required too much energy.

No, lol. The best bodies are fit mesomorphs, and this applies to both sexes. There's so much data to support this that it's useless to argue otherwise.

Useless without accomplishments

Delusional

Not a good thing if you are otherwise shameful, like the trainwreck of the illustrated caricature.

Which somehow involves something other than a healthy diet and exercise, the two top things associated with being good for you. Well, plus good sleep habits.

From the thumbnail, the image looks stretched, as if someone widened it. Then you look at it…

But, really, when you're so fat that your skin can no longer cover your body, to the point where you need bandages over the open sores…where your stomach and hips function as a table…when you take up the entire couch…when you do take some sort of action, any action, even if its suicide?

I also blame the enablers. People like this can't take care of themselves. If they had to they wouldn't end up like this.

Saddest thing is she looks like she'd be attractive at a normal weight. Well, not anymore. There's no saving skin that stretched. Even with surgery you trade the sagging skin for hideous scars and there will still be discoloration and rough scabby patches that need perpetual lotion.

Oh, and of course the image is from Tumblr.

Apparently the new SJW strategy is "all poe all the time"

Go, retailer I never heard of, go and piss these people off!

Is this Jeph's idea of hip talk used by the kids these days?

Jeph really sucks at world building. May's explanation makes no sense.

So Momo just glosses over the fact that she wanted to fuck Sven the first time she saw him. Stabby's really trying to unperson him, isn't he.

always remember to bone down, not up.

You know, for a guy that pushes diversity so much in his comics, Jeph's sure a regressive fuck.

Go fuck yourself Jeph.

earn my apathy, jeph. earn it.

at least the important part got done.

At least you remembered to use a blocky sans-serif font unlike Jeph who forgot his own rules again.

I dunno, I'm kinda turned on. I mean, clanging a snarky robot with a grounded view of reality and with a more appealing face than most humans in this universe and with animu hair and a bloodletting fetish? Works for me and a huge upgrade over the deranged tranny.

LOL at the inclusion of the guy climbing down the cliff from Alice Grove. Until I advanced panels I had no idea what he was doing.

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Just think of it as "Human Oil" m8. The human body is just a machine made of meat and bone, held together by sinew and cartilage, and kept running by a conveyor belt of blood.

checked

More writing Jeph is so proud of.

Why is he trying that hard to get people to draw porn of his characters?

Jeph's daily faggotry. Literally.

Mentally ill trannies aren't people, May.
Also, this strip and the last together pretty much confirm that May dreams of being a whorebot.

How old is handstab

Is he really in his forties?

hey why don't we have a lesbian Batman with alive parents who doesn't wear a mask and cape while we're at it, jeph

Ah, now he's out to ruin my fantasy of having a robot lover who isn't anatomically correct try her hardest to make me feel as good physically as I make her feel emotionally. God damnit.

How is a wireless headphone supposed to kill the headphone jack? Headphones aren't even the only thing that jack is used for.

And a Superman that doesn't smile or try to save bystanders?

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someone should just skip the middleman and draw May pounding Jeph in the ass with an "attachment".

why wouldn't May be able to just install a modular pussy anyway? what kind of robots don't have USB?

USB 3.1 even includes a high power mode, 100 watts for the utmost in pleasure.

I do not like where this is going.

The leash is a nice touch. Also the fact that it's a strap-on rather than an integrated part. Just adds to the humiliation.

Good taste. Very good taste.

God damn it, Jeph, that's not an idea that I wanted to have in my mind.
Well, time to fuck up once more

Honestly, fuck Jeph for enabling my facefucking fetish.

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Leave a tender moment alone

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Next level attention seeking.

But it isn't Jeph.

High opinion of yourself there, Jeph.

Jeph forgot to remove the raping instrument before taking the photo.

Jeph sets his eyes upon a new target.

This doesn't sound like Jeph at all.

they gonna lesbian

A CAT IS FINE TOO

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Don't apologize for ypur memes, they'll think you don't love them.

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Hey, the first step is acceptance, not that that applies to motherfucking jeph.

The character designs are so bland and poorly detailed that May looks like her hands are inserted on the wrong wrists.

I took a quick stab at fixing her right hand, but as long as he draws robot hands as having a full circle all around the finger/limb at every joint, they're going to look really weird, especially in poses like that.

alternately, getting rid of those joints so May can smoothly crank a dude off.

still looks wrong. maybe she needs to be bending her pinkies unnaturally (which maybe wouldn't be a problem for a robot)

Good job, user. Now that you removed the finger joints, we can clearly see the embarassing fuck-up of an attempt at foreshortening. If, indeed, there was an attempt. It's JEPH! we're talking here.

>tfw you find that font

he really is turning into a woman.

All he needed to add was

So, what should the next album of Jeph & The Jacques feature on its cover?

Why the fuck is that spoilered?

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it needs something…

The trees kinda look like goatse

too tired to actualize this

It'd be great if someone could make Goatkcd for QC.

Shelby raped live on air next Tuesday!

May's idea of dialing it back.

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I was waiting for that.

wew

Am I even allowed to put that on git?

Incredibly belated as this is, I just wanted to let you know that I understood this reference.

goddamn it stranger things giving me a boner for fonts

neat.jpg

This gives me such a big boner.

I quite like the Alien one.

In space, no one can hear you stab.

perhaps a serpentine knife that stabs from inside the hand, instead of a chestburster?

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That's perfect.

a little more definition on the cuddly little guy since he lost some details in shrinking.

I thought it was the same strip again.

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for shame

Happy 9/11 to my favourite general thread

✈ ▌▌

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(I didn't think to look for it until I saw Riley Reid wearing a "Brazzers' Lil Slut" raglan)

oh shit, right. it's "lil" not "little".

And a merry Turban Day to you too.

Perhaps they're hotheads for wanting to get out of there?

TWO FRIGGIN' TOWERS?

also if Jeph is so progressive why hasn't he had a character convert to Religion Of Peace yet?

Does the sandnigger writing say "I don't know how to interpret that facial expression"?

You can't interpret that? It says: I want to fuck that goat.

it does now (depending how good google translate knows sandsquiggles)

Did I fuck this up cause it makes no sense.

Beautiful.

en.wiktionary.org/wiki/الله_أكبر#Phrase

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Every rune means 'I want to fuck that goat'/ Basic arab.

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Another week of riveting content.

Jeph's Twitter has been surprisingly low on utter retard but there is this.

And wow those virtue signalling retweets and favorites

So, is he just throwing all of his random filler into a bag and pulling one out every day in order to update his page? I'm getting zero narrative cohesion out of the last few weeks.

Yeah, it's like a more wordy version of the character bios he does. It looks like he just put notes from Clinton.txt into conversation form.

This guy's even more of a cock than Jeph.

…Argument…Club…?
Aren't we supposed to not talk about that?

not only is this dumb, but the fact that he has no idea about how electronics work paired with the fact that he doesn't go in depth with anything makes me cringe.
Here's how AC power works guys
Wham, you've got an AC powered circuit, it's called alternating because the power flows with two different polarities given the nature of the metal spinning around in a magnet, alternating between a high and negative high
DC power
You don't need to go to school to understand this shit, it's basic fucking circuitry, just fucking look up how batteries work if you want to talk about dumb battery shit. If his hand did work on a battery, that actually makes sense to restrict the electrical circuit from the human body, since that would be bad, but why couldn't he just say, "It works like a phone charger, turning AC into DC power"?
speaking of unexplainable shit, when are we going back to orwellian x lovecraftian horror? I love that shit.

To be honest, he could have gotten away with waving his hand and mumbling something about bioelectric power, but he didn't bother.

boom, fucking explained without making it seem like a detachable weird thing.
On the subject of robotics, we would never have to develop a robotic husk that has its own sensory relay, since our brains are naturally wired to experience phantom pains, which make us think that we still have something where we have loss. Because of all this, the brain would naturally adapt to a numb feeling hand and make it feel like the real thing, since flinching and other instinctual reactions are so embedded within our heads that we have things like empathetic reactions to a plastic arm being smashed in lieu of our own arms. These are just my theories though, it could go the opposite way, like when a doctor gives you anesthetic and all you feel is a nudging but not a touch

Most of the reason behing not feeling anesthetic pokes is because flesh is flabby and absorbs shock. With a rigid structure like a metal hand, you can make your awareness encompass it's form similarly to the way that a baseball player knows the exact reach of his bat or an experienced racer can "feel" the shape of his car as he drives.

SJWs making references to Fight Club? I would've thought that they'd all hate it for being emblematic of "toxic masculinity" and such.

But headmates

classic handstab

Actually, think about it for a moment. What do they have in common?
Robot hands.
Come tomorrow, we'll find out how Clit circumcised and castrated himself in one vodka-fuelled masturbation session, and how he replaced his cock with a robocock.

or Clit's going to hook up with May and help her learn how to gently crank off a dude without ripping the skin.

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I think this is the third day in page 9, though 10 is imminent.

It's surprising really. Based on the last bumped time from the page 10 threads we might still have another ~2 days in this one.

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Well done with the menu. Who's giving the Nuru massage? I'll pay double for Hanners.

I don't think I've ever been more turned on by a blowjob proposition

Emily, probably. I was just going with Japanese-themed "extras" there.

also

then again, Marten's mom.

That's cool, too. I'll take Emily or Penelope at the regular $99 rate. Skinny-fat Dora is tolerable but I'll pay only $49 for that.

Oh we've noticed, Jeph.

Thinking about it…why does a bare bones utilitarian chassis have tits and hips? Wouldn't such a thing be unisex cyborg looking?

Because "barebones utilitarian" for a civilian market robot implies some degree of aesthetics and sexual function because she can do the mouthfuck thing according to Jeph

But this is a universe with talking toasters, warbots, and whatever Pintsize is. It's also a "progressive" world free of societal expectations, blah blah. May's also far more advanced than any of the units at the fighting ring, who look like props from 1950s pulp sci-fi movies.

look, it's Jeph. He considers this shitshow "hard sci-fi" while he himself can't draw a fucking working gun or a robot that makes sense.

"Character development"

that's on point

lol, 2 days left on page 10.

Dear sweet christ why can't this nightmare end?

It's a curse, I want to just leave, but curiosity amd habit keeps me here.

At least the edits provide a modicum of relief.

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It would make more sense if you cut off part of panel 4 to turn it into panel 5, then put the goatsee in as panel 4 so that it looks like claire did that when she got their attention. Also recolor her legs in panel 3 to make it look like she has no pants.

checked,
also the goatse edits always give a sensible chuckle from me.

I remember when I thought goatse was the most disgusting on the internet…oh how naive I was

Last panel (or the entire comic) goatse works so well with XKCD but is hit or miss with QC. It makes you think: XKCD is even more predictable than QC, to the point where the punchline can be algorithmically replaced to make it far funnier than the original.

I considered replacing everyone's faces with goatse. I'm really fucking lazy and not so skilled, though.

lol, just noticed the Jojo thread is called "(Not an) Adventure Time General". Didn't read any of it; wonder if that level 100 autism fag is still around.

That's because XKCD always puts it's punchline in the last panel, and you can usually complete it in your head with the added memetic context. Questionable Content rarely has a proper comedic setup and often crams a pun or lolrandumb gag into the last panel to add comedy. When the goatsee replaces the entire joke instead of the punchline, it looses it's power.

We'll probably see less of him once school starts.

Wow this jew is extremely butt blasted about Trump, while harboring and uncomfortable obsession with his dick

Deus Vult

I'm pretty sure that's what Obama was. If Trump signs even half as many executive orders, he can be a Super President too.

And this super-unknown AI-developed battery technology can't even power his fucking hand for a full day before needing recharged…

Wow… great imagination, Jeff Jackoff.

Speaking of which, how are modern mechanized prosthetics powered? I'm fairly sure it involves li-ion batteries that can easily go all day long.

the byuh face has returned!

that wordless panel with Clit looking back at Tranny seems like it has a great amount of exploitable potential.

Never looked at it but Jeph's been pushing this comic for some time. Kinda hard to see why. It's not the worst shit I've ever seen but I remain perplexed as to why these guys try so hard to be Garfield, (bad) Doonesbury, or any of the other Sunday comics. Besides being read by no one under 60, just about everything in there was picked up 30+ years ago. There's just no point in competing for that one slot when someone dies. And even then papers will probably just show reruns like they did with Peanuts.

It's better than the other comics he's pushed, at least.

That third one is an abortion of a Foundation reference.

it gave me crotch rot too.

I read the first book and wasn't interested enough to start the second. Is the series really good enough to make poli-hipster references about?

Tonight's delay brought by animu

In case you want to punish yourself even more.

Jeph and Matilda should get it over with and fuck already.

Is that a knife under the mat?

It's her soul.

well shit, theres another childhood movie ruined forever

She laughs like a 60 year old who has been smoking 2 packs a day her whole life.

…Is this really that different from his usual art style?

I think the eyes might be different. Otherwise NOPE

The sketch lines kinda sorta line up today, at least by Jeph's standards.

Why does best girl have to be drawn by worst person
It's not fair

Emilu's radical redesign was worth the wait.

I don't know what he changed and maybe it's just the booze but she looks cuter.

It's more a reversion to a previous design. For whatever reason Jeph was making her look more and more like Dora.

Well it's a damn good thing he stopped. Nobody should look like her.

FLESH HAND
BRAVO JEPH
R
A
V
O
J
E
P
H

Once upon a time she wasn't so bad.

This is QC, fucking everyone looks like Dora because Jeph can't draw unique individual characters very well

Huh, just like that, 3 topics from oblivion.

I don't recall Emily being this tall in the past. She used to be just slightly taller than Marten, who is the same height as Dora. Now Emily towers a full head above everyone else.
Also as points out, Jeph can't even remember to draw Clinton's robot hand, which really says something about how much of an effect Clinton being a cyborg has on the comic.

I've got the next OP ready, should I wait for the next two to drop off then?

Just do it.

New bread

She got really tall after the wintering of indeterminate length.

Depends on how long you plan on staying up. I think I created 2 topics: once "too early" but really just in time because it was gone by the time I got back to the thread and once too late because the thread was gone for a few hours from what I can tell.

TLDR just do it unless you feel like monitoring.

Already did, and I'd be up for staying up all night but the scotch demands otherwise. Probably just gonna update the git and then crash after posting the OC in the new thread.

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the lore burrows deeper.

and yet sometimes the sketch lines manage to send distress calls through the veil into our reality. that one's saying "he drew me with his stabbing hand!"

THAT JUST FUCKING PROVES IT, HE JUST USES A FILL CAN
BRRRAHAAHAHAHAAH

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If he knew how to use layers he wouldn't even need to erase. Jeph handles digital tools like he does a notebook, because that's his background: doodling in class in the 8th grade.

So I punished myself with this podcast Jeph was on. If you can believe it, Jeph is the least worst thing about it. Listen to 60 seconds and you, too, will wish for death.

whoops, wrong thread