Help me murder cats

OK Holla Forums, I am angry. Angry at my landlady's cat.

I open the door not for two minutes and one of them pisses in the lower part of my bookshelf, next to where I keep my soap and spare toothbrushes. I poured so much bleach on the place where the fucker pissed I'm sure it's enough to gas a jew. It was marking its territory, now it is time for me to mark MY territory by killing them.

I am a nice person. I am kind to animals, one of her other cats had two kittens and I like to toss them bones and whatnot. But I am pissed, angry and enraged. No fucking animal pisses in my domain. I have to admit I have killed stray cats before with my pelet gun because they go through the garbage all the time and shat everywhere. But that was when I didn't live where I am now, and outright shooting my landlady's pets is out of the question.

So I need your advice on other methods, preferably poison. I've considered lacing chicken with bleach, but that probably won't work sinc ecats have a strong sense of smell. Perhaps cutting a needle with pliers and putting small, sharp bits in meat?

before someone says LeEdgy I'll say that killing animals, even when there's a good reason is not easy. It wasn't easy pulling the trigger, even on sick stray cats that shat everywhere

Tell her to keep her fucking cat out, if you have already done that pepper that fucker (ground pepper on the nose) and it will lose any interest in your room.

Engine coolant in water is supposed to do something.

My pal was telling me it just makes them keep drinking they just get thirstier and thirstier and then die.

Now that I am explaining it maybe it could be fake.

It's legit but doesn't kill via dehydration, it's a sweet tasting poison that killed the liver.

why dont you get over yourself bitch

The cat taught you not to leave your fucking door open. Next time it could be a nigger.

This is were you should start to learn how to control your anger and channel it into something productive. The fact that you've already killed small animals before means you are on the wrong path.
Am not saying you can't fuck up your life. I don't care. Just think about it.

Also see this

okay op

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sure dude, where do you live again?

Channel your anger into something useful… hatefuck the cat and livestream it.

Ok op. I will tell you how to get your revenge.

Just wring its neck and throw it as far as you can.

Drink the engine coolant with the cat and commit a mass orgy suicide.

This sounds effective.

Your bleach idea sounds like it would work fairly easy, but it also sounds like the smell from it would make them not want to taste it or anything. If you have a dog let it go at the cat one night, just make sure no one is watching.

All these normies, standing up for the innocent animal.

Either make it look like an accident or bury its corpse, OP. I'd slit its throat if I were you, quick, almost painless and safe.

Kill yourself instead

Just mix rat poison with wet cat food, dummy. They won't go anywhere near anything with bleach in it.

this is the best option, it will be suspicious that it randomly vanished, but she will probably think it died by getting attacked.

antifreeze in food, make sure its actually ethylene glycol or else it won't work
hit it with a hammer in the head
cut its throat
"""accidentally""" run it over
hide its body in the woods or trash can of someone multiple streets down
cleanup, obviously
when landlady asks where cat is, offer to help her put up lost pet signs and look for it and shit (this makes you look innocent)
and then you wait.

here's a story for your ass:

pour some antifreeze outside. cats/dogs love that shit.

It's nice to know that some grown men cant tell bleach apart from soda.

what kind of shitty fucking friends do that shit

really close friends. haven't seen them in +6 years now. neet life is good

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that was a waste of time. i love you?

Shut up baby i know it

OP, just do what said. She's not going to think you poisoned her cats. If you're really nervous then you can take a chisel to her car so she has a leak, should dispel any doubts. Alternatively just do and if you don't have a dense brush you can toss it then dig a grave or put it in the trash.

would be worth it to not put it in your trash, put it in the trash a few doors down, just in case the trash truck flings its corpse out onto the street in front of your/her place
if your trash goes in a dumpster, no big deal

I would kill you before helping you kill a cat.

Cats have a tendency of disappearing so just kill it and throw it in the woods. All she knows it found better food elsewhere.

Im more of a dog killer but if you want the cat dead, make it dead. No need to pussyfoot with poison.
If you really wanted to let out some anger smack it up with a bat.

How do you kill dogs?

Fuck off cunt.

chocolate nigga

Isn't that kind of anticlimactic?