BATMAN: ODYSSEY

Also, uh, try not to pay too much attention to Bruce's body hair. It doesn't like that.

Before you ask, yes, Batman did just get filled full of bullets, but he's fine because he knew how to move while he was getting shot so the bullets didn't hurt him too bad. Fortunately, Batman is a master ruseman, unlike that silly, stupid tripfag.

So, if I'm understanding this right, Bruce is telling the audience a story about the time he fucked up and got shot a bunch, and then while he was bleeding to death on the ground, he remembered he was telling Robin a story earlier, so he starts telling us a story within a story that has next to nothing to do with the current events.
I think.

But oh yeah, anyway, he was dying that one time. Yeah, let's go back to that.

Oh, fuck! I'm awake, I swear!

So, uh, yeah, anyway, where were we?

Then Batman got shot in the face, point-blank, and died. The end.
Nah, he was prepared for this eventuality, he's fine.

Bruce, where the fuck did you get invisible bulletproof plastic for your face?

Ah! Finally, a woman! More importantly, it's an excuse to show Talia's rocking body.

Bruce, what the fuck, you got shot thirty times. How are you even standing?
Oh well, whatever. Does anybody want to see this weird "medieval Batman" preview comic?

Bump because I want to read this tomorrow.

Ah..Batman Odyssey..aka, Batman's Bizarre Adventure aka Neil Adams been taking LSD again.

That's not Medieval Batman. That's Knight and Squire, the UK Batman.

Oh shit, I didn't think anyone was actually reading this.

If you don't mind me asking, what makes them so special?

"Back off jerk, with your after dinner!"

I've never read this before, please storytime the rest?

Is it just me or is batman oddsey is parodying sliver age batman unintentional homoeroticism?

OH SHIT, I'M STILL HERE
Are you guys ready for more? This is where the real crazy starts.

So, if I remember right, Batman has caught the Riddler. Spoiler alert: it's not actually the real Riddler, but instead, a man who looks almost exactly like him wearing a Riddler mask.
Yes, this makes as much sense as you think.

AND THEN BATMAN ABSOLUTELY LOSES HIS FUCKING MIND.
Seriously, did he drop acid off-panel or something? What the fuck is going on? Did he really make that Faceoff joke? Is any of this for real?

It's depressing. He drew Talia much better in the 70s. Along with everything else it seems

Do I even need to mention how dream-like all this dialogue is? Who thinks people talk like this, even in comics?

Well, this was from 2010, so let's just be glad she has cleavage at all.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot Deadman was in this comic, too! Now we've got a random guy who will show up, talk shit, and phase through a wall. Thanks, Neal!

Please, if you are scrolling past the front page right now, stop what you're doing and read this shit. I implore you.
And with that, this brings the 4th issue to a close. Aquaman is really rocking that Kenny Loggins mullet.

I'll pause for a bit to let everyone catch up. If you have any questions about what's happened so far, please, ask them. I'm sure I'll be able to give you half an answer.

"You're a stone killer, murderer, an assassin! Animal!"

Are we talking about the same Riddler who has always been portrayed as a coward in the Batman comics?

No, we're talking about Reuben Blades, who just happens to look almost exactly like the Riddler, which makes one wonder why he bothered with a mask in the first place.

Wait, is it Reuben Irons or Reuben Blades?
God fucking dammit, Bruce, who is this guy? Shit, now I'm confused.

...

It's like a punchline from a shitty kid's cartoon, except this is completely serious and nobody ever addresses it in the comic.

What the fuck happened to Neal? I swear nothing he's written before has ever been this bad, or this unintelligible.

dementia

I know they were going for a dynamic pose in that last pic, but it just looks like Bats broke his spine.

Rao help us

"I will not have it go down this way!"

Neil, please never writer again.

...

I'm going through this slow this time, just to make sure I don't miss anything. But, it's just so weird at times.

I love him gently taking the bad guy aside to tell him about hydrogen cars.

I mean, the fire simply won't rise.

"Killing is too good for him, he needs killing!"

I just realized in the 4 page here, when Alfred stops him before he talks… he's makes the unmistakable build up to saying a word beginning with the letter "F".

That is just amazing visual storytelling.

If there's one thing these characters consistently are, it's emotive.

I was only PRETENDING to be in a murderous rage!

Talia is a childhood friend character? That's like double waifu points!

So you might be wondering who this large, hairy motherfucker in the Batman cosplay is, and why his Robin knockoff has a tail. Worry not, all will be explained!

WOTTA RUBE!

Please tell me that will be 13 issues of insanity as well. I'm finally going back to the comic shop, and I'd buy that every month.

Okay, before I keep going, what the fuck are you doing, Talia?
Maybe that guy who compared this to Jojo wasn't actually that far off. Here, have a mild spoiler from a couple issues from now.

Okay, anyway, it's Joker time. Strangely enough, things make more sense when he's around.

As far as Joker plots go, this one's pretty grounded, unlike everything else in this comic.

All will be explained, dear reader! I totally promise!

Where the fuck have you been? Coming of the Supermen finished up last month.

Was it completely crazy, or was it just a book?

It was crazy, but not as crazy as Odyssey.

Why are Batman's safewords taken from his friends and family. "Martha," "Alfred," I'm sure the next one will be "Dick." That'll be awkward.

I like this…why can't we have more comics like this?

Because we only have ONE Neal Adams.

We should clone him. So we can have more insane fun comics.

Under a rock apparently
Completely? Or is he doing it in halves like he did Odyssey?

Yes, because it was a mini.

This was a mini

That's…that's actually kind of a good explanation for the revolving door. I tend to dislike when every element of a hero's past is tied up neatly by some vast conspiracy, but used sparingly it can be interesting.

No, no, that's not how it goes. I've noticed a lot of malapropism in this series.

"This is not a stupid game you stupid fool!"

Did a five year old write this?

Alright! I'm back, are you guys ready for another dose?

God, why is Bruce so fucking hairy?

Can someone fill me in on what happens? I must've missed something.
Details would be appreciated.

IT WAS A GRAND CONSPIRACY FOR BATMAN TO FIGHT ALL HIS ROGUES AT ONCE!
Oh, what a clever scheme.

Surely one of the other threads has a screencap or something.

Is it me, or does Neal make everyone's lips really… defined?

You know, a man should never make that kind of face while talking about Dick.

Poor Ra's, life's hard when you're the immortal leader of the league of assassins.

I feel sorry for the poor bastard who tried to edit this mess.

Don't you see? Batman is the smartest, toughest, hairiest, coolest, sexiest, craziest man alive! Life is one bit octopus of a thing and we only got an inkling, the hydrogen car can't get in our hands fast enough! Dick loves a good story and I'm not above a whale,whale, whale of a tale! Some people are STONE KILLERS and they need killing, and I'll give it to them. Or will I? Where was, I, oh yeah! Go to Hell, you freak.

I'm not sure if it's on purpose. It's a lot like how All-Star Batman and Robin is Frank Miller unintentionally parodying himself with Silver Age silliness.

Speaking of, just wait til we get to the hollow earth parts. Which are based on an entertainingly crazy 'expanding earth' psuedoscience the author by all accounts actually believes.

Sweepy Batman.

I made this primer over on /cow/

>>>/cow/225161

The dawn of Jamroth Bok is here.

Now that we're in the second volume, it's time to find out what Batman: Odyssey is really all about.

Every morning Sensei punches his way through 10 walls before he has his tea.

So if you haven't picked up on the many, many hints by now, we're about to have a nice, pulpy underground adventure.

As we all know, the Earth is similar in manner to a geode, and is actually hollow on the inside. This is classic and historied science, you guys.

All of this makes me want to read a Deadman comic, to be honest, family.
Someone should storytime him sometime.

This comic is so batshit insane that the Hollow Earth part is probably the least weird part. Not often you can say that.
I love it.

pls no.

Also, dat perspective. Talia & Batman are like 8 or 9 feet tall.

Man, I should probably get this storytime over with, eh?

If you thought things were pulpy before, you ain't seen shit yet.

How did neanderthals figure out how radio and television work?

I think we're at the point where I can present Batman fighting killer assassins on top of a dinosaur in the center of the world without comment.

...

It's a good thing Batman is the best detective the world has ever seen, or else all these accusations might come off as a little random.

Oh Batman, you're always getting into such wacky situations!

Bruce doesn't really seem that bothered that he just indirectly killed two dinosaur-men.

What half-baked reason does Neal have for a ghost to become tangible in the center of the earth?

Yes.
That is a wizard and those are aliens. Living in an invisible technodome. At the center of the earth. Where dead people can become solid again… sometimes.

Hold on.
Seriously, wait a minute, what the fuck does this mean?

And now Batman is flipping tanks.
I had honestly forgotten how wild this is.

Kung-fu battle? Fuck it, why not.

Sonuva… The concept of Batman posing it up to look as badass as possible is hilarious to me.

...

Well, when you think about it, it's sort of why he has the bat costume in the first place, isn't it? To look imposing?

That's true, but there is a certain element of him having fun with the idea here that doesn't happen that often. Like, he knows he's scary, but knowing he's thinking "I bet I look fucking badass right now" at the same time is pretty lighthearted.

ORA ORA ORA!

Well, my internet service is gone until the weekend, and now I don't have television. How am I going to keep up with the latest episodes of today's hottest cartoons?
At least I have my data plan, a cable, and you guys.

I'm sure we're all getting fatigued, so let's power though this, shall we?

...

Neal Adams, I want 100 more comics set in this underworld. This place is absolutely bonkers and I love it.

I have to admit, I still have no idea what people are saying half the time.

So… I guess the Lazarus Pits are guarded by the Egyptian gods, who are actually failed genetic experiments?
Uh, okay.

Whoops, it would help if I added some pictures, wouldn't it?

Jesus christ, Bats, you just blew two dudes in half. Guns are bad, but explosives are a-ok?
We've still got three issues of this shit left. God fucking damn.

I mean, we all know you'd never blow Robin up, but still, man.

Yes, this is the standout of this storytime for me.

Oh no, my friend, it's even better than that: That was the real Robin, and his armor is just so good, and Batman's explosives are so controlled that it can explode literally right on top of him and he can jump away unscathed.
Neal Adams!

Where the fuck is my capeshit adaptation of this? I'd like to see DC try and grimdark this shit up, they'd just have to write an entirely new story.

Okay, before we go any further, I gotta ask:
Would you fuck these troll girls?

Well, okay, I guess I'll finish the issue real quick first.

Really though, about those troll girls…

If she gets her nose and chin done first, yes.

What's the matter? Can't stand the sight of a strong troll woman?

Wait… he just blew up… I mean… what?

From behind I'm sure she doesn't look that trollish.

She's definitely what we call BFB - Better From Behind

Has fucking anyone in this shit show held a gun properly? /k/ would have a fucking stroke if they saw this.

Morning, guys! I bet you're all eagerly awaiting the conclusion of this epic journey, aren't you?

I know I am! I really should've dumped this all over the weekend, but… eh.

Butterface.

...

Batman… did you really just make that joke?

Oh, if you haven't guessed it yet, yes, this is all an elaborate ruse by Ra's to teach Bruce how to take a life!
Jeez, man, surely you could've failed in a less… detrimental way.

...

THE THRILLING CONCLUSION OF BATMAN: ODYSSEY IS UPON US

THE FINAL BATTLE DRAWS NEAR

Holy shit. This writing, man…

YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING, BRUCE

This level of D&D encounter means NOTHING to Batman!

Blew it's fucking eye out, man!

Guys, I have a confession to make: I unironically love this comic. Sure, the dialogue is nonsensical, the plot is all over the place, and everything is totally over the top, but that's sort of why I dig it.

Why is there a fucking gorilla wearing a baseball cap in with the batman villains?

I've read an enormous amount of Batman comics written across several decades, and I have no fucking clue why there's a fucking gorilla there or who that gorilla is.

OH MY GOD BATMAN JUST ICED THIS GUY

METAL AS FUCK

lol nah, just kidding
Neal Adams does it again!
And with all of those plot points tied up fairly loosely, I bring to you the end of Batman: Odyssey.
So, what'd you think, guys?

Swoooosh.

I really thought I was beyond the most absurd parts, but Sensei shadowing Batman perfectly for what looks like at least a minute is fucking hilarious.

It's a good bad comic. It's retarded, insane, but there's heart behind it.

This is Neil Adams' passion project and it's a glorious catastrophe.

whenever I read this comic, I can hear music in the back of my head that is off key with random screaming.

is this normal?

Truly, Batman: Odyssey is what it means to love comic books.

What a fucking ride. I don't think there is another person on this earth who could have made a comic quite like this. I mean, it all does make sense, but told in such a rambling, disjointed way that it really does feel like a story shared between friends. Just starting somewhere and then going back to fill in details as needed or waiting for them to be most impactful.

For 11 issues, I was almost certain he was telling the story to the Hydrogen Car