My mom is really pissing me off

Get garbage and sell it to hipsters.

Do you want mutant lobster arms or do you want to lose weight? Getting fit and getting "buff" are two different things. If you wanna lose weight change your diet and get some physical exercise like jogging, hiking ect.

I mean lose my man tits, I have a relatively flat or passibly flat stomach. I have no way to get to a gym and the roads I live by are just highway intersections and hills with massive potholes so running is not an option. There aren't any places around me hiring and all the places that hired me, fired me within a month. I need her money right now

Post more Velmas please

Fuck her and post it

Again, why dumbbells?
You can exercise your chest without those just fine. And the biggest issue with mantits is excess fat. Goes away with exercise. Don't tell me you're one of those dumb faggots who also believes he'll reduce his belly fat if he does sit ups.

You don't need a huge amount of space to run, you can just run laps around some clean area, preferably dirt or grass and not cement. You can also do plenty of aerobic exercises in a reduced area just fine. Again, just look them up on Youtube.

I don't think you need dumbbells, but if you insist, then it's an easy solution. You said she's fine buying you food but won't buy you important stuff
Just tell her to give you money for food, but save the money instead and later tell her you went out to buy something to eat. That way you'll make money and not eat, which will help with losing weight. Do that for a couple weeks I guess and you'll have at least $40.

my mom is the same. she will allow me to get any of her money if it relates to food. she says food money is "free" money in regards to me. But if I want to go to the movies or anything or like buy a iTunes gift card for myself or anything she has a hissy fit

Just do cardio or calisthenics

The real reason I chose dumbbells is because I'm really fuckin lazy now, it's easy to knock out reps even while im eating and I don't feel like doing push-ups or pull ups, plus my arms have either gotten weaker or I've gotten heavier because I can't do more than 5 without breaking a sweat and no more than 10 before my arms feel like they're snapping. I should also describe the area around my house: it's a town in the middle of a highway so there aren't any sidewalks, there is only grassy corn fields and rivers surrounded by massive dips in the fields, always traffic, no parks, no open space besides always heavily populated parking lots. I have nothing healthy to eat so I try to fast sometimes only to have a plate of greasy food shoved in my face even when I said I didn't want it. I've seen plenty of diet videos on YouTube but most of the shit in the diet plans costs and my whole dilemma is I'm broke. I know this may sound like excuses but this is what happens to fat people, they get put into binds like this and have no way out

fffffffffffuck

Well, you better start working on that right now if you want to lose some weight. Dumbbells won't solve your problem.

Also I don't believe you can't find a measly 10x10 meters area or even smaller than that to do some simple aerobic excercises. Maybe some small area next to the corn fields where there isn't any corn and only grass, a small area in the riverbanks, or even your backyard if it has some space. Hell even your own fucking room as long as you're not a jap that sleeps in a coffin. You won't be able to jog but you'll still be able to do plenty of stuff.

Ok, forget the food. It's not really necessary. As long as you burn more calories than what you consume you're on the right path. The important part is, again, exercise, and I mean exercises you can do almost anywhere, even your own house.

Yeah that's what they fucking are.

We live in an apartment so we don't have a backyard. I also share a really small room with my older brother while my younger brother gets a huge room to himself (yea favoritism is a thing in our house). I do bicycle crunches in my bed almost every night but that's about it. I just want to build muscle, have a starting point to work from when I'm in college. There are no banks along the rivers, just dead drops into them

>>>/fit/

Ask your younger brother to use his room for an hour a day.
If he gets too hysterical, then ask your mom. Maybe tell her you want to exercise to lose weight to attract girls or something that might convince her. Or just use it when he's not in it.

So you're telling me there's literally no room between the rivers and buildings or streets. Like, a car might have an accident and get off the track and straight into the river.
And there's absolutely no area as small as a room to work out in your whole town, or even in the outskirts of it.
I'm done with your excuses, wish you could just get banned for being underage at this point.

Look man, I appreciate the advice you've given so far but I'm just giving you the details of my situation. In my town the rivers are surrounded on all sides by 5 foot drops from grassy hills with bridges going over them and the bridges are single lanes with barely enough room to even walk across. I've actually tried using the attracting females thing on her but she wants me to be a fat virgin neckbeard (she doesn't know I've lost my virginity years ago) and my younger brother is a complete fucking fatass neet who never leaves his room unless he's getting food. This whole scenario is stacked against me. The only way to break through is with those dumbbells and she knows that. I don't want to end up like my younger brother who's 300+ pounds and is only 16

The only way to lose weight is to
fat lard. you are going to need to work out past how much it hurts. just don't take it too serious and break a bone. then you'll just regain the weight back.

Isn't this the girl that appears in that "Happiness gone" macro image with the bronies? Can someone post that one? This is all I have from her, and she apparently is. Holy fuck.

go get a job. I walk to work a mile to work every morning at 5 am.

...

Re-evaluate what is important, because you clearly haven't the faintest idea.
Next time you or your mom brings home food, let it stay in the bag and use that to lift instead of eating it and instead of using dumbells. Not only have you just saved $30-$40 by not having to buy weights, but you have decreased your calorie count significantly, so that your weight loss will be all the faster.

Never mind that you don't lose weight or fat by lifting weights, you lose weight and fat by engaging in cardio, that is a really tangential point here because the REAL issue is that you already have at least two dumbells in your house. You, and your mom.

Brilliant!!

OMG…fat people logic alert!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

If dumbells and weightlifting in general helped fat people get skinny, then fat people wouldn't keep getting fatter…the increased weight would act like dumbells and they would reach a point at which the weight would burn off the calories at the same rate it which they were being ingested. You are not just fat, OP. You are stupid as well. Stupid is the bigger problem here, so address that first. Take a public ed nutrition class. Learn the basics, learn the science of how the human body works. Then recognize that you will never be anything but a fat fucc as long as you remain lazy and undisciplined. Then decide what your next course of action is going to be. Either come to terms with being a gross fat pig for the rest of your short life, or get off your goddamn ass, quit making excuses, and do the hard work necessary to lose the weight. Either way, quit blaming your mom and quit whining about your fatness here. We don't feel at all sorry for you.

Eating less and not sitting on your ass all day costs nothing

MORE VELMA NOW PLZ

not op but this is all reverse search reveals
motherless.com/G998D220

well ask her for money to go out and eat, go out and don't eat, repeat until you have money for dumbbells, there, two birds in one shot.

Stop eating 30 burgers a day you obnoxious child.

...

Exercise with your body weight.
Or
Pay for your own weights.
A 40lb bag of sand costs 3 dollars if you are desperate.

Is that comic on the left (the original one) supposed to make fun of people who work out?
Working out makes me much more relaxed and makes me feel better with myself. I don't go on angry rants and stuff if I'm working out.

Either way yeah, I felt that he was only making excuses.

Look faggot, with that attitude, buying you dumb bells is a waste of money.
You aren't motivated to get into shape; that lack of motivation is your real problem.

it generally goes hand in hand

at least your not that stupid

I was actually the one arguing with him earlier, telling him to find a way to do some simple work out routines.

you can even workout with rocks as dumbbells
or lift literally anything heavy in your home for reps
add push ups and core routines
there are no excuses

Forget about lifting, his issue was losing weight. He didn't even need to find something to lift. All he needed was his own body and some workout routine on Youtube or something to follow.

More Velmas needed.

Dunno if this is trap or not. Can anyone confirm?

yea
but i actually also understand that for the inexperienced, it might seem like a big deal to figure how to go bout things
but actually its simple. get some weights and make reps till u cant. then repeat. eat less calories to burn more, eat healthy.