Withdrawals Suck; What Do

Have you ever died?

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Plus I just cut ties with my best friend of 6 years or so. He always suggested this meditation shit. So sorry, but I have quite the mental block here.

Meditation has helped me in the past and all, but I tend to forget to do it on a regular basis. Idk why

your problem is that you are addicted to nasal spray?
try some heroin, that should fix you right up.

I've had NDE's, but never really died full on

I never used DXM as a way of escapism. I more so used it as a way to learn more about myself. But I don't really care for the stuff now, as its lost its magic

Use magnesium oil

Benzedrex is basically a low grade form of meth. People who do ice will tell you its the CLOSEST thing you can get to outright meth. Not even adderall or the other ADHD meds can compare.

So essentially, I'm a meth addict

And yes, it comes with all the shitty w/d's meth presents

20 days will form a new habit! :) when I died I remember seeing blackness. it was totally empty and i didnt have a body – i was just aware that there was nothing. but that doesn't really mean there was nothing, because some part of me remembers experiencing it. so if there's nothing that's still something, if only the very least of something. nihilism is illusion. and your best friend was likely a dick anyway. but i'm not like other anons who are only interested in manipulating you for sexual gain. i'm also interested in your personality and would like to hear your ideas about stuff :) there's a starbucks near my aunt's house if you'd feel comfortable meeting up irl?

im not a prince charming or whatever but im no virgin either

I'm a male

I took on Madotsuki as my feminine form. She represents me in many ways. Such as being depressed, not leaving my room, being lonely, having fucked up dreams, etc.

Plus you sound like a troll to me

My bad.
Depression can be remedied with a good diet, daily exercise and challenging yourself intellectually. The alternative is staying a lazy waste rotting away unto death. You can do this Holla Forumsro!

do eeeeeet!

The problem lies within a double pronged attack of depression and anxiety. My anxiety is bad enough that it made me have two attacks at the job I quit recently, within a span of 3 weeks.

If I get over the depression piece, the anxiety piece drags me right down to Hell. I gave it my best effort as well. I had insomnia bad enough that I would close that night, then go back in to close with only 3 hours of sleep that night + 1-2 interruptions. Some nights I didn't sleep a wink!

I got over the insomnia best I could and still went to work. Didn't miss one day, was never late. Then the manager said I missed too many days of work, when in reality, I didn't.

All in all that job sucked ass. But the anxiety is bad enough that I just can't work fast food

Yeah that job sounds like it sucked. You could always go on disability for a year or two while you get yourself stable enough to live a successful life. The goal is to improve 👍

The plan right now is to bide my time until the addiction's withdrawal effects fade away completely. I can't work when it brings on so much stress that I relapse/constantly think about it

Yeah good idea. It'll work out for you if you stay on the right track.

Even now I've been sucked away in to this and the feelings of anxiety faded. This is why I insist that distracting myself helps, because it does. I also watch a lot of anime.

Problem is that if I distract myself for too long/am never productive, it converts to depression/suicidal thinking. I'm not quite there at this point in time though. A recent LSD trip helped me out with my outlook on life, and I feel significantly less depressed. Only reason I feel so depressed atm is because of the withdrawal effect, and I acknowledge this.

All in all I need therapy. Just don't know where to find it.

Yeah maybe if you don't know why youre depressed but if you know why youre depressed it won't do shit and youll be physically healthy but still a fucking train wreck mentally

This. Thank you

I know I get anxious when I feel incompetent. But how do I fix this? Good fucking question

here's an idea. stop being a spoiled faggot you fucking brat. get your shit together and stop being a faggot. having "anxiety" means you're a faggot. stop having anxiety. go jog or learn an instrument. read a book or watch a documentary. suck a dick or rape a loli. do something other than viewing life like it's an anime. be a germaphobe or get some stupid hobby. and stop watching anime, you're inflating your ego by setting your mind in rainbow land aka anime. everyone's a little sad, everyone's a little shitty. no body likes everything. get over yourself.
yep, you are a faggot. i wonder if you and your retarded type have a shred of hope to become sane.

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Become competent at something, that's where people get that air of confidence from.

I'm a fantastic writer, but I don't find enjoyment in that any longer.

Fuck you, depression

fuck off back to your hugbox, fag
>>>Holla Forums

Why did you start writing in the first place? Did you have any long term goals when you still enjoyed writing?

Because its something I know I'm great at and could make an enjoyable career out of. Then depression set in hard, and I stopped wanting to write.

That's where the speed abuse came in to play. It would give me my happiness and motivation back. But now its come to the point it does more harm than good, and whenever I've used it recently, it just leads to either wanking or playing vidya. No in between.

So that's why I'm quitting. Does way more harm than good anymore.

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Good, that means you're moving forward in life. As for your depression, if someone hasn't told you this by now, it's not going to go away. What you can do though is find strength in something, it could be anything- all you need is something tangible to grab on to when it all goes to shit.

Also make sure to take joy in the little things, makes life feel more worth living that way.

I know depression can't be cured, only dealt with. I've actually felt a bit better about it recently. Only problem is I still can't seem to find the joy in activities I previously have. This must be due to withdrawal, as anhedonia is a symptom.

I can't recall what life was like before speed. So once I clean up and all, I should, in theory, not feel so depressed. I don't even feel that suicidal in this current time.

The real BITCH is my anxiety, however. Its so debilitating to my daily life its ridiculous. I don't want to take benzos cause they're proven to be more addictive than opiates and the single dose I took for a speed OD was making me crave more the next few days.

Luckily Im not a benzo addict (and don't want it anymore), but you get the point. How do I deal with anxiety if I disagree with meds and I can't deal with it alone? Weed helps, but I can't just go to work high all the time

Also here.

"We find a means to live until we die, but for those who seek a means to die, were they ever truly alive?"

Its a quote I made. I really like it, and find its very thought provoking

Make secure attachments with other people.

They aren't particularly addictive, it is just that they are net negative for anxiety and the withdrawal is horrific.

These go hand in hand, pal. Benzos can cause a physical dependency.

This is a big problem with me… plus I don't see how that would help. I mean I get along decently well with my little brother and we talk about random shit. I feel good about that. But this doesn't prevent me from having an anxiety attack at work for being yelled at, despite me trying my hardest

keep insisting on your shitty lifestyle and reap what you sow you goddamn shithead. i hope you continue living like the piece of shit you are just to remain a complete failure at everything you attempt.

Guess what? Post two wasn't me, autist

I get this if I don't play video games for a day. I also recently came off medication that had withdrawal symptoms. The best part was that I kept getting zapping noises and feelings in my head. Also diziness. Shit was great fun, no sarcasm either.

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This is why I don't want to take anti-depresshits or otherwise medication for my mental disorders (barring weed) as they have shitty side effects.

Its so very ironic that psychiatrists are like, "don't use drugs to cope with your disorders" and promptly write up a script for fucking drugs, topkek

I don't use any drug on a daily basis. Even when I was doing speed all the time, I never did it on a daily basis (although it was heading that way pretty quickly) But I'm quitting now, so no point in going in to that

I worked my way out of being depressed, and I have pulled others out of it too. It is possible to be cured of it. I won't say if it will make you a better person though, just happy.

Work helped me feel less depressed. But the anxiety is the real bitch.

Its scientifically/medically proven there is no cure for depression. The "cure" in your eyes is that you deal with it exceptionally well. This is good and all, but I have to play semantics here for scientific accuracy

This! Medication did nothing for me. Doing shit on my own and proving my own value to myself killed it.

This too.

I'm not saying to disagree with doctors, but definitely be wary that depression can be fixed with willpower. Sometimes the medication can lead to finding that again. It did for me, making it so that I couldn't feel anything unless it was really strong (which ironically was often the depression).

Work started it for me lol

Also guys, I get TERRIBLE sleep paralysis. (a state in which you're halfway between awake and asleep, can't move) but the catch is, I hallucinate very, VERY REAL pain. Physical sensations of pain. Like someone restraining my entire body, pulling my hair, grabbing/squeezing me hard, etc.

It makes me want to cry the whole time, but I can't. I want to scream, but I can't. I feel the very substance of terror the entire time.

I've heard this is a very helpful tool in going lucid, but I feel way too scared/in pain to want to go lucid. I always panic and try and get out as quickly as I can before the "demon" tortures me.

How can I turn this in to my advantage for lucid dreaming? Any help? Give me a step by step procedure once I enter SP to going lucid. I'd really love to lucid dream more consistently

I get sleep paralysis all the time. The way I learned to get out was to tense my muscles in fingers and feet. If you tense your foot muscles right, you can pull the muscle between your big toe and middle of foot.

What do you even feel anxious about?

That's really good, reminds me of how I came to the slow transition of wanting to die every day to not wanting to die just yet.

I mainly feel anxious about under performance at work/life and that things won't truly change

Develop a succubus fetish?

Funnily enough I have a fetish for devil girls. But this "demon" is more so a poltergeist, if anything. Its invisible, but I can clearly feel it.

I'm actually given quite the gift here of getting SP a lot. I just have to find out the way of getting over the fear. This way it doesnt manifest in to the "demon", in which case, it fucking sucks and I'd rather die that moment.

If I can get over this fear, and devise a way to lucid dream from the SP, it'd actually aid my quitting speed tenfold. Cause I'd have a reason to look forward to bed more often. Being that I can do whatever I want. Including lolis

Perhaps that is the case, but doesn't everyone feel anxious at times? Other people make me feel this way. I've come to accept that there are those who long for someone to torment them. I oblige. Few things are more satisfying than wearing a wry smile as someone loses their shit in front of you.

Feeling anxious =/= General Anxiety Disorder/PTSD/any other anxiety disorder

That's like saying, "I feel sad. I must have depression"

Not trying to come off as a dick, but there is a difference between an emotion and a disorder

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That just means you have pretty high standards then, I'd say you're doing pretty fine since you're good at writing (which is more than I can say for a ton of people running around and trying to find something they're competent at) and managed to land a job.

As for the change part, we're in the same boat. I try not to let it bother me too much though, since if I'm stuck thinking about how things won't change then I'd never find the motivation to try and change things.

Everyone I've fixed has said similar things. I ignore that rationalization. These people had been diagnosed with anxiety disorders and were on heavy anti-depressants. Often they had no job, no car, no license, and smelled like cat piss or whatever animal defecated in their room.

just bee yourself bro!

Freeze away your self-destructive urges.

ALL HAIL WINTERCHAN

Quitting meth can be hard, but the worst part is not doing anything ridiculous between the time you stop and the time you first go to sleep. The paranoia gets to me hard at that point. After that you kind of just feel like killing yourself, but downers and eating a lot usually help with that.
Honestly amphetamines in general are mostly mental. Withdrawls are relatively overhyped, for most people it's more of an addiction than a dependence. If you have a problem it's most likely your lifestyle that needs changing.

Hi, Holla Forumsro

Just want to drop by and tell you, I am on day 10 and feel good, it will pass and you will feel good in time.
I know how it is to wake up sick, dreadful feeling, we don't need that.
tough out champ you can do this you.
Love you Holla Forumsro and wish you a great fulfilling life.

I know this is not the right time but later when you feel better and clean take martial arts and occupy yourself I know the boredom, but I believe you will truimph.
keep going champ it's only a few days.

From having been there, I would have recommended piracetam before bedtime and doing some sort of workout routine twice a day. I started doing martial arts before I kicked the habit. Both of those pretty much made getting off of the amphetamines much less painful. On a positive note, if you can make it 3 more days, Holla Forumsro, you will be fine.

OP here. I haven't done it, and am confident in the fact I won't again. I realized my supposed best friend of 6 or so years was little more than a bad influence to me. It seemed as if he was taking advantage of my addiction just to go and get high with him. So I cut him off. Been around 4-5 days now (pretty much the same time I made the decision to quit) and what do you know, the cravings are much more manageable.

I also have been eating a shit ton because extreme hunger is a withdrawal. And yes, the w/d's are very much, "in your head" its highly psychologically addictive, but not physically. Despite the physical side effects (insomnia, over or under eating, etc) these are caused by the side effects of speed use, not the speed withdrawal itself.

I don't know if you're following what I'm saying here, but basically, speed is all a game of getting a head of yourself (pun intended)

I'm feeling stronger. Caffeine is also helping quite a bit as far as cravings go.

Also, any time I get a craving, I remind myself of how I'll be lying in bed for hours desperately wanting sleep. How much damage I can cause to my body. How its not as fun as it once was and never will be again. And most damning of all how I would have to repeat this cycle of withdrawal again