36yo kv

This isn't going to make much sense to you guys. The whole context. But I wanted to post this in a bigger chan to see if I could get more feedback/comments

I'm at work right now so won't be able to reply or anything. But my story is below:

Knowing about sex and having your sexual experiences. If you were to start sooner - would you have? And how do you feel if you had, had to wait later in life to start having sexual intercourse?

tldr;

I'm at work during lunch so I'll try and type this quickly. I've been sick for a bit and don't have a vehicle as you guys know. I asked a family member if they could pick me up some medicine. Thankfully, they did. The family member was my Aunt who is very talkative and we got to talking when she mentioned my cousin was also sick. As you guys know from my story a while back she just got her first bf and lost her virginity. She was very shy growing up and just recently when she entered high school did she gain friends and be more comfortable around others. Now she has so many friends they apparently call her at all hours of the day wanting to hang with her. She is so popular now Anyway, she heard us talking and wanted to talk to me personally since she was also sick and we were just talking about how sick we were. Then, at some point, the mood of the conversation changed and I could tell it was a "private" conversation now. We start talking about a lot of things. Personal things that I'll skip most of. The main points were that she was sick, she wanted to see if we were still "cool" and I didn't tell her secret to anybody, and my last takeaway which was kind of hard hearing because it made me so sad. The last takeaway was that ever since she lost her virginity that she is having a lot of sex with her boyfriend and she told me that she should have started having sex sooner if she knew it was this good. She said that she should have listened to her friends and started having sex sooner.

Hearing this from my baby cousin was quite sad to hear since you guys know I'm a 36yo kv myself (but nobody in my family knows that). So she went on a bit about that. I exchanged some lies with her so I could fit in with the conversation. Quite honestly we used to be so close until she entered high school. Now she has turned into something completely different and it is a bit annoying even talking to her now. If I'm being honest, I don't like who she is now and wish she wouldn't bother me anymore with her bullshit. It seems she just does this shit to rub it in my face. Like she somehow knows I'm a kv Anyway. The question I wanted to ask you guys is >Knowing about sex and having your sexual experiences. If you were to start sooner - would you have? And how do you feel if you had, had to wait? >(For example if you started having sex at 15. Would you have wanted to have started having sex at 12? And if you started at 15. What if you had to wait until 25 for sex - How would that make you feel?)

Each year I get older and time isn't fucking standing still in my life. Nothing good happens to me. My whole life is shit and the only thing I literally wish for on this planet is for a virgin gf/wife or someone to have sex with me

And everyone else gets to get this so easily that it just isn't fair and I just don't understand. Everyone always says, "Sex is overrated" to me over and over, time and time again. These are the same people that have multiple kids or been in multiple relationships. Go figure

Or I hear shit like this from other people that sex is so good and they wanted sex earlier. Or more sex. Or wanted to have more partners.

IF SEX IS SO OVERRATED AND I SHOULDN'T THINK ABOUT IT EVERY WAKING MINUTE OF MY LIFE - THEN WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYBODY HAVING SEX EVEN IF THE DECISION IS STUPID!!!

Holy shit, you sound like you have some severe mental problems. Seek professional help kid.
Why don't you just have sex with a hooker?
Are you that ugly? Small penis?
A manlet? Seriously, get it over with so you stop obsessing over nothing.

You must be a virgin
Because people who have sex know exactly how wonderful it is

I just want to experience that wonderful passion and physical encounter before I die

I'm running out of time though. And I can never go back into my teens for prime-age sex

I missed my opportunity. I hate this world

get a prostitute

Nope, lost my virginity as a teen like most kids do.
Have you ever been diagnosed with any mental handicap?
Like high functioning autism/assburgers?

I said stop obsessing over nothing because as soon as you lose your virginity you wont be obsessing over it anymore. You can finally start moving on with your life.