How would you fuck my gf?

How would you fuck my gf?

Behind your back

That's not what the elf wants.

With brass knuckles

Who gives a shit what a elf wants; what are you, some kind of elf?

No because I wouldn't wanna fuck some guy's girlfriend.
That wouldn't be very nice.

in the missionary position for the sole purpose of proceation

id berry my dick so far in her pussy whoever could pull it out would be crowned king arthur

Nah, dawg - I's a orc

Chip and pin reader, then a shopping spree at the nearest sex shop.

I'd like to see her try to explain to the bank that she in fact didn't purchase several horse dildos.

Wid muh benis :DDD

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with you cleaning my cum off her face and later raising her children while i go impregnate other women

Post a picture of her if you want us to tell you.

>implying that's her pic in the OP

why does Shrek want to see my dingdong

no

post tits user if she really is your f

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first i would prepare a small but tasty dinner for the 2 of us i would offer her a lil white wine maybe some valium if she's into that sorta thing maybe even a lil weed then i would put on a movie turn the lights down a little get comfortable then we'd start making out and we would start doing a little fbi prisoner interrogation roleplay, i cabble tie her hands behind her back and ball gag her then im kissing her lips kissing her neck/throat and rubbing her crouch.. i slide off her panties and say "tell me where the jewels are miss" i grab a stun gun and tazer her pussy "TELL ME WHERE THE JEWELS ARE YOU FUCKING BITCH!!"
she muffled screams through the ballgag in pain and struggles her eyes dart around in terror she's sweating i smell her fear this make me more determined.. she try's to kick me so im forced to double cable tie her ankles together "Dont fuck with me bitch" i say in a menacing voice i flip her over on her side and enter her pussy give her a few hard strokes then i back hand her across the face "bitch you aint doin it for me you aint shit!" i grab my pocket knife and slice her jugular and the bloods begins to gush from the wound once she has stopped breathing i skin her face and cure it with salf water and coconut oil and dry it off with a towel i attach an elastic band to to sides of the face to make a mask,
i pour gasoline onto the corpse and throw a lit match onto it. I then drive to her parents house its now 1:02am i put on the face mask and clutch my matchete as a ring the doorbell repeatedly who is it a male voice says from behind the door its me its me! I say mimicking her voice, “let me in they’re after me” the father opens the door and gasps in horror at the man standing before him holding the matchete and wearing her face as a mask “Why so serious FUCKERR?! “ i yell in a menacing voice before repeatedly swinging the blade into his skull “FUCKING DIE YOU SHILL SCUMM” i yell as his mortally wounded corpse hits the floor

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