Princeless Story time

Our poor knight then realizes his fate as this dragon looms over him with the look of some psychopathic monster who's going to enjoy his suffering, remember folks this is one of our protagonists.

Adrienne then goes back to her teenage diary of teenage angst, because you know she has to suffer so much unlike that knight outside who's screaming for his life. At any rate, Adrienne then reaches under her bed to find her pen, but instead pokes herself with something sharp. Wait a cotton picking minute (Thats joke son), if I or any other reasonable person were in her position, they'd have searched that room up and down for something, ANYTHING of worth in their escape.

And its a sword, what a shocking twist. At anyrate, the Dragon, Sparky, pokes its head through the window and we have this "delightful" little interaction between these two where Adrienne tries to hide the sword, but she can't keep a secret from her bestest friend int he whole world, Sparky knows her too well. Wait how long has she been in this damn tower? Its been long enough for her to befriend this faggoty dragon, but she hadn't found the sword by then, plus at least 2-3 knights have died just from what we've seen. What is the timeline?

Also, don't you just love how this dragon goes from man eating dragon to so cute I could just shit my pants in a matter of seconds? We're suppose to like this thing despite the fact that it eats people and apparently revels in doing so.

Go for it bro, I just wanted to storytime something teeth grindingly bad, but this board could always stand some positivity.

Also, it's important to storytime shit to prove to the cocksucking anons that argue otherwise that comics are, indeed, dead.
Also, I missed this storytime the first time, so I appreciate it.

Yeah, storytime whatever. Go for it. We need something interesting.

So apparently Adrienne is on such good terms with her dragon buddy she can just fucking LEAVE THE TOWER WHENEVER SHE WANTS. Also, she swings around her new sword and talks about "The System" and how oh so tired she is of it. Also, casual misandry, that's thing we should be teaching our daughters, not that they should respect everyone, and not to let your pet dragon eat the boys who aren't even being mean to you, misandry is definitely the way to go.

Now lets have a heartfelt scene of a girl and her dragon by the fire. his scene could be so much more pungent without any dialog at all, or at least very little, let the characters ruminate on what was just said. But no, we gotta have more text, sure its short, but its also redundant, and just goes to show that the dragon is retarded as well as a psychopath. Also, I love just how sure this chick is that the boys are just so freaking honored to fight and get eaten alive by a dragon for the chance to marry this freaking shrew.

Blah blah blah, fight the oppressors, we've seen this speil from BLM and progressives, and we all know its bullshit. Oh look she's disgusted by the severed hand of one of her pets victims, HA HA HA HA she's responsible for the death of this young man, but how could you possible hate this stronk young girl. One final note on this, I'm sure you've all spotted the hypocrisy of this little tirade of her's she regards herself and THE FREAKING DRAGON as the victims of this system, but she shows no compassion for the young knights who this system literally kills. Ah well its just like future president Hillary Clinton says, Women are the ones who suffer the most from war.

So APPARENTLY, she's on such good terms with this dragon of hers she could have left this castle anytime she wanted, why she stuck around is anyones guess. Also, now we know her goal, she wants to save her sisters who are also "suffering" under the system just like her. A nobel goal I suppose, if my brothers were being held captive I'd want to save them, oh wait we're all white males, so I guess we can't suffer the way Adrienne and her sisters are. Also, Adrienne promises to return Sparky to where she came from and reunite her with other dragons, god I hope that pink psycho gets a taste of her own medicine and gets eaten by a larger, fiercer dragon, it would be poetically ironic.

So Adrienne and Sparky take off and she falls off, nothing funny or interesting here, it was totally pointless and perfectly encapsulates this series.

Oh look our favorite Yutz survived! Oh boy, it looks like he's about to see the king too, and by the looks of it he's in trouble. this little interaction does serve one purpose, it shows us which parent Adrienne inherits her callousness and arrogance from, like father like daughter I guess. One question though, why isn't the king portrayed as a gracious and kind ruler? We all know Whitley sucks black dicks as a form of reparation for slavery, so why is the king evil? I guess Whitley just couldn't reconcile his feelings of white guilt with his feeling of male guilt and decided that since he's a straight male he has to be evil, after all genitals trump melanin.

Yutz tires to explain his actions, but King Asshat decided to go full toxic masculinity on this poor chump and throw him in the pit. I remind you once again that our protagonist is probably aware of the shit these poor knights have to go through and feels no empathy for them. We end with the Queen asking her husband if this shit is necessary yo, and suggesting that the Prince Devin (Whitley's self inster? I think so) could take the thrown. But the kings rightly points out that a spineless faggot isn't really fit to be a ruler.

Finally, we cut back to Adrienne and her pet straped up and ready to take off. And they do. Riveting stuff lads.

Well that's the end of Chapter 1 and I feel a warmth radiating from my veins. It cant be that my rage has caused my blood to boil, I'm a good feminist! It must be joy, yes thats it, joy that such a wonderful piece of work has graced us simple plebians. All hail Whitley and our gravious feminist superiors, they surely are the most virtuous and progressive people this world has ever known.

I'm going to go drink bleach now.

I'm done for this evening, but I'll be back tomorrow to storytime the next issue of this degeneracy. For those of you who made it past this chapter, congratulations you gluttons for punishment, you have been passed over by the sweet release of death.

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why do i do this to myself

You're getting too political, OP, reel it back! Otherwise you'll be driven extra fucking insane the further you go in this. Don't think about this being nominated for awards or anything. Just take it one shitty page at a time and you just might live through this.

Don't forget that she is angry at the knights for being part of "the system" even though "the system" will through them in a death pit if they fail.

Since the king looks like such a poor man's Ganondorf, I wonder if this is just an attempt at a "Legend of Zelda with girl power", and the protag and her pussy brother are Zelda and Link. Which goes to show just how shitty writing to an agenda is, because there is no real sense of wonder in any of this.

Are this shitty comic still running or did it end properly.

I just wish for everything to burn and die, and this faggot to be rejected by his daughter when she gets old enouth.

Anyone has the user homrage done to the sequel about feminist pirates?

OP YOU FAGGOT CUNT I DON'T NEED TO SEE THIS AGAIN

Oh boy, I bet this comic is really progressive :^)

It sure thinks it is.

Can you just story time Tomboy

It's weird because, the logical way to be progressive is if her being black was a NON ISSUE. Like, if a little black girl did read this, and felt isolated and different because of her race, wouldn't this make her feel more isolated and different? The protag can't even look past her race when she's a princess, part of the family that rules over the land. It's basically like saying "You'll always be different from everyone because of your skin color, don't believe in MLK's dream".

Hell, as stupid as Marvel's Riri and Moon Girl characters are, at least they don't throw race in your face every two seconds. They just happen to black. If one wasn't written by Bendis, and the other outshined by the Killer Folk in her own book, they'd look amazing compared to this.

Maybe they put her in that tower because she was a cunt…

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Go figure, nigs probably feel very strange and must think they're just total freaks being coddled and pandered to by progressives in every piece of media nowadays. I'm not surprised.

Do you have all of them? There were only 2 issues out the last time I saw this mess, and I want to know if it somehow HOW it manages to get worse.

We already storytimed the first couple of issues user. We don't need to go through that again.

I believe there are a few spin-off comics

It was the first thing I found. Is there a better place?

DON'T PUSSY OUT ON US OP

WE'RE HERE TIL THE BITTER END

The only solace is that his adopted niglet "daughter" will probably grow up hating him and he'll sit alone on the couch, an old copy of this comic love letter to her in his hand and think "w-what did I do wrong? Maybe I wasn't progressive enough" as he holds the pistol in his other hand, knowing he's too much of a coward to pull the trigger

I think cuck/co/ might be more your speed.

Okay. That's it. I'm out. I can't make myself read this much blatant hatred of white people.

then fuck off to another board user

You're trying too hard
This thread is pointless rage bait, like every other "I'll storytime this worthless comic ironically" thread on this board
Good comics exist, but Holla Forums would rather torture itself with crap like this

Then post good comics then faggot.

Okay you god damn masochists I'm back. Anyway here's chapter 2 of the original run, and if you thought chapter one was a hoot and a half then you're just gonna LOVE this chapter!

We start with Devin, the limp-wristed youngest brother of Adrienne and and the only sone of the king. As you'd imagine this means he's the next in line to be king if none of his sisters get rescued by a misogynist first.

Devin is sword fighting with his father, but is too busy whining about how much he hates it to actually you know TRY TO WIN. Seriously, this kid's beating himself before his dad even gets the chance.

The king, being the evil misogynists that he is berates his son, calling him worthless, and such. Apparently, Devin actually use to be GOOD at sword fighting, till for some reason he started sucking hard.

Devin then has the temerity to suggest one of his sisters could rule instead of him, and not have to wait for someone to rescue them. Devin, if they're anything like Adrienne, I'm not sure that's such a good idea, maybe the kingdom needs some new blood.

Also, don't forget that the king is such a fucking misogynist. Whenever he makes an appearance he must disparage women everywhere, how else are we suppose to know that he's a bad guy?

A messenger arrives and tells the king that Adrienne is dead (though we know differently don't we chaps!). Obviously Devin cries, but what's this? The king looks actually sad, could he actually be about to show an emotion? Nah, he's just angry again and wants vengeance, should have figured from such a flat one note character, can't expect too much of Whitley

Then, a little too conveniently if you ask me, Adrienne and Sparky show up and start attacking her kingdom. Okay I exaggerate, but seriously why come in breathing fire? Doesn't that seem a little aggressive…wait, never mind, we've already established that Adrienne is aggressive by nature.

So for some reason Devin has stopped crying and now just seems mildly depressed about about his sister's possibly horrific demise, I see random mood swings run in the family, as does morbid apathy.

So it looks like the intruder (who we know to be Adrienne, but don't tell Devin, its a super secret), is going to the balcony of the youngest daughter Appalonia. Devin assumes, not unreasonable that this psychopath who's attacking the kingdom is going for his youngest sister. He actually mans up and goes to at least tries and save his sister.

He then proceeds to screw that up by screaming at the intruder instead of sneaking up close enough to deal a killing blow.

And of COURSE Adrienne beats him, she doesnt just punch him with one hand she chokes him too. How weak is this kid that an improper punch and a weak ass single hand choke incapacitates him?

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Sorry I don't have the fortitude to continue commenting on every instance of idiocy in this issue, Im too damn tired of it.

This makes no fucking sense. Why would a king basically cast out his son when he used to be so strong? Clearly something's wrong with the kid if he's dropped this low in a month. Maybe he's fucking sick. Instead of casting off the kid, you think he'd be hiring doctors from all across the kingdom to make his son better.

Something something male power fantasy something something we gotta include strong female characters something something feminism helps men too……

I'm certain there was supposed to be a plot thread where Adrienne was impersonating Devin for sword training (remember, they're twins), but then he realized that it didn't gel with Adrienne's dialogue from the first issue when she picks up the sword.

In other news, this story is worse than a pile of trash. It's like seeing a bunch of collectible items in a pile of trash. Skimming it, there's all sorts of interesting ideas you could go with for the seven princesses. Different relationships with their guardians, different preferences and types of people to rescue them, just being told about the variety available had me thinking of all sorts of possibilities. But you just know Adrienne's going to rescue them, one-by-one, on her own, and then have to deprogram them from their conformist attitudes about how things are done. And you know it'll be all about her outwitting the big monsters or pulling through with sheer stubbornness (or maybe her dragon will just do all the work). No climactic battle with epic magic or anything, that's for dumb boys. She'll never show up to a tower to find a sister already rescued, but she eloped with her rescuer b/c her father is shit. Adrienne would never have to team up with a disgusting male knight to overcome a challenge she is unprepared for. Even her dragon is a girl. This stupid strip should have a warning on it: Child Advisory, this content is rated "P" for "political," contains agenda-driven plot and gratuitous proselytizing.

Are you thinking something in the vein of Drakengard, just not suicide-inducingly nihilistic and depressing?

The dragon isn't just a girl, is a god damn emo harlot judging by all those piercings and makeup.

Too Soon.

Is this that comic by that cuck in the dress?

Ah, yes I'm remembering this now.

Did I forget anything and is there a new one yet?

I don't want to know.

It was a bonus story about the prince dude at the beginning of the comic. Something about gender roles about boy too or some shit like that.

I hope there are no more numbers, right?

Also, how is the feminist pirates going? any more rape parodies?

No, you're thinking of Orcs Vs. Feminism

By god it's like watching a train wreck, it's bad but you can't look away.

Also
There are not enough languages in the world to say fuck you.

Dammit, user.

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I'm no blacksmith but I don't think that's how you hold those tongs.

Oh yeah Whitley, no man can resist the charms of Adrienne's womanly physique, what scummy (straw)men.

We get it. You're a bitter lesbian faggot who hates themselves and takes out their aggression on fictional clothing to scrape together a modicum of self-respect.

The crux of this issue is that Whitley hates how some armor looks, pointing out that it isn't practical, so how does he fix that? By making impractical armor that HE think's looks good. I smell sexism.

So we can plainly see in this example, Whitley's gross literary incompetence. In an attempt to mock the "female armor" troop, he stumbles all over the place and winds up creating a suit of armor more heinous than the ones he mocked, because unlike those pieces which were clearly impractical, he claims that HIS grossly impractical piece of armor is.

Once again these pathetic morons completely miss the point and just complain about sexy women being sexy because that's all they know how to do.

Conan doesn't run around in a speedo, he runs around in a loincloth that he most likely made from killing a wild animal. What Conan lacks in armor he more than makes up for with his survival skills and his leadership skills.

And when you bring up these facts to these cucks they'll scream at you and dismiss it as a male power fantasy or some such nonsense like that.

Fuuuuuuuuu, why do I keep coming back to this dreck. He just keeps hitting newer and newer lows. Cartoonishly evil guards (complete with villainous mustache), knock previous female armor designs (but make sure to walk back that WW dig, she has some feminist cred), go back to using the dragon to solve the problems (don't have your character actually work for it or anything, she's too busy pontificating). However, the best part, the absolute cherry on top is to have your ONLY worthwhile, self-actualized, independent female character break down in tears at the first sign of trouble. I guess Whitley doesn't really give a crap about women, just black ones.

Also, she couldn't have been forging for more than a handful of hours, but let's say 8 to be generous. There is no way you get armor that elaborate out of 1 day's work. And why does she get awesome armor right off the bat? Why doesn't she start out with a rough draft (as you would expect from someone who has never made such extensive armor for a female), and she can pick up the WoW-esque gear later? Are the seven princesses a red-herring and she just turns around and murders her father in a couple issues, taking over the kingdom? I would almost bet money that once this author runs out of easy gags and cheap targets about "over-sexualization" and other trope shite, the story time-skips or otherwise massively truncates a large portion to get right to the final conflict.

ONE MORE THING! A direct block? Really?! There's a reason the smith said "deflect." Unless you want to say the armor is enchanted, there is no way a girl blocks an overhead blow from a grown man with one arm. Maybe you could get me to believe some sort of block/catch with forearms crossed, but just one? Get out. Just get the hell out.

Ah, do you mean the 3rd one, where the main goes around killing her sisters? I'm ashamed to admit, I got the game on sale some time earlier this year, but haven't had time for it, so I can't really draw any comparisons.

What's funnier is that he was meant to show the armor being "impractical" yet she beats two guards with it!

How do you fuck up your own soapboxing? Goddamn……..

If it doesn't end in massive rape and breeding farms I will be really disappointed.

I know they're trying really hard to try and make their own joke out of that Monty Python and the Holy Grail scene, but it just… What.

I hope the dragon eats this cunt

I bet the dragon is a transgender faggot that only eats tofu or some shit like that. It just torments men out of spite.

Seriously, how can people hating their own gender so much exist?

Wait that was meant to be an homage to that?

I seem to recall a number of prominent socialists actively discouraging charity because they wanted the proletariat more angry and desperate,

I'll storytime it in another thread when I get home. Stay tuned!

In one.

I'd recommend it, yeah. Give it a try when you have a few hours to burn.

That's what it feels like to me.
Otherwise it's just retarded. I mean, it is either way, but it's slightly less retarded when it's a really shitty homage to a way better scene of some way better piece of media rather than something they came up with all by themself and thought 'yeah, this is funny.'

It's hilarious how much this person misunderstands shit.
Good monarchies would be very well known for charity, because it would make the king look good and appeases the people.
In a perfect form of socialism, charity wouldn't have to exist, because everyone already has what they need.

The writer's just a fucking idiot.

I was promised an aberration called Orcs vs. Feminism.

I feel cheated.

I'll do it just give me a minute. New thread go.