Suicide

inb4 Berenstain

The best way is to slowly wait out your entire life for a natural death, this way if something good happens to you you didn't cut it short.

The fastest way is to get your mum to abort you.

I'm pretty sure most people would be happier to have been aborted

I should probably just admit myself into a..well where do you admit yourself for this type of thing?

You can't be happy if your dead

I've since studied philosophy and religion trying to understand the reality I experience; I sought the why of it, not the how. 11 years was spent in the study of the Occult, especially the Left-Hand Path. I've realized All in mind. Later I studied the sciences. Combining an understanding of the physical and "spiritual" sciences I've concluded reality is a simulation. Can it be manipulated or re-programmed? I have reason to believe yes but no proof as of now. Reality is, after all, just information.

go to the emergency room and tell them you're in danger of hurting youself. If it's more urgent, call 911, tell them the same, and stay on the line until the police arrive.

that sounds like faggotry. men don't like that. they don't like liquid zinc at all.

so they can do it for you?
I'm not black tho =^]

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Enjoy pic related.

Btw, helium tanks rarely contain pure helium anymore. Thanks Holla Forums!

Can anons name a film I should watch before I do the deed.

any femanons care to perform 'the last rites?

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Live for this.

you're a real scumbag if you try suicide by cop or anything else that could hurt innocent people.

When the police arrive they'll put you in the car and take you to a county mental facility. If you've no insurance, that's where you stay for the remainder of your hold (3-14 days, usually). If you do have insurance they'll transfer you to a proper hospital psych ward within a couple days.

CITY OF LOST CHILDREN
Excellent movie for this time of year.
Psychedelics are especially excellent for folks in your state of mind also.

have worked in welding, can confirm. it's roughly 70% pure, and 30% other shit. reason why? people were killing themselves so the industry cut it.
oxygen would do it if you got a big bottle from a welding supplier, because torches are anal about it and need really, really pure oxygen to work.

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I'm a britbong but yeah, I wouldn't suicide by cop or train driver or anything like that.

It's the other way around, your mind has evolved to serve your body. Just like your heart it has no purpose without it.

Information is an illusion, your categorizations and principles are arbitrary.

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not that user but he's on the right track
nitrogen will do it real quick. don't ask me where to get a big nitrogen bottle but it works

Any of the the counter medications you can get your hands is extremely unlikely to kill you regardless of the dosage you take (They're over the counter for a reason). Best case scenario with most OTC (Over the Counter) drugs is a slow agonizing painfull death filled with regret and suffering. Don't listen to him op if you want a real method to leaving this shit planet behind and all the disgusting people on it let me be your guide.

The way I see it a good suicide methods should have a few shared qualitys

1.Little/No pain
2.Effective/high success rate
3.Fast/instant/reasonable
4.Cheap/commonly found materials

I'll order from preferred to last resort

1. Helium suicide
Posted hundreds of times even here in this very thread. Your body can't tell the diffrence between air and Helium so if you've prepared correctly you'll pass out and die within minutes from lack of oxygen to your brain. Pretty straight foward. Finding a helium tank that isn't diluted with oxygen should be the hardest part.

Cons : if not setup correctly your lungs may explode and that will be incredibly painfull.

2. Partial suspension
If you're in the right head space this should be your most effective of the three. Partial suspension requires little planning and as long as you have a doorknob or a strong towel rack or anything really plus some strong cord or rope or really anything you can do it. The idea is to cut off the blood from your brain through the arterys in your neck causing you to pass out and die very quickly from lack of blood to the brain.

Cons : can't say much here if you fail, just try again with stronger rope.

3. Carbon monoxide poisoning
Definitely a last resort. Although cheap and reasonably quick this method is effective but is the most painfull. Have you heard of That guy who fell asleep in his garage with the car on and garage door closed? Well this is the basic concept just replace the garage with a small room and the car with a charcoal grill.

This is all assuming you don't have a gun to point in the back of your mouth and blow your spinal cord out of your neck.

Best of luck op. Hopefully you do better than I did.

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Like a chock hold thats held for too long, nice.

are you paralysed now or something?

choke*

No man is happy untill he dies.

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these was something on true detective about people welcoming death in the last moment..

i'll add a few, in no particular order
4. nitrogen. same procedure as helium, but nitrogen, nice and pure, its usually not diluted.

cons: expensive (relatively speaking) but you can always take out a credit card for suicide supplies, not like you'll have to pay it back

5. electrocution. pretty easy to do. a current between 100-200 milliamps is instant death, but if you have access to a welder that can produce something really high amp, that'll do the job too as long as nobody finds you.
toaster in the bathtub also works, of course.

yeah, like what robin williams did.

6. nailgun. use a long framing nail, punch it in behind your right ear to it will go through the spinal cord.

7. explosive. probably the most guaranteed. make some anfo, which is 95% ammonium nitrate (fertilizer) and 5% fuel oil (diesel fuel). if you mix in some aluminum powder it becomes more sensitive. you need another explosive to set it off (read: dynamite or TNT) which would be the hardest part of it.
setup is pretty straightforward, just make a suicide vest or surround yourself with it and set it off.

no user.
I'm an electrical engineer and while that might kill you it can take longer that you would like.
Try very high volts (>10kV) and put a bucket of water over yourself first.

t. fake grill

so, soak self in water and touch a powerline?
not too bad actually.
how long is "longer than you might like"?
I've worked in industry for a while and when dudes get fried by welders, from what I've heard, it doesn't take all that long.

One guy here 'survives' at 10kV because his hand burn off.

Electric shock causes horrific, delayed damage so if you survive you'll may just end up quad amputee with very little feeling anywhere.

oh if you get it across the heath then year but i still wouldn't risk it

yeah*

I've seen an old video about that on 4chan b4

goddammit, I was always told that it would just fry you, all throughout welding school and everything, and that you were just done.
why is it so fucking hard to die?

I think suicide is stupid and I wouldn't recommend it, but as a theoretical theory, wouldn't suicide be more effective if a fake fictional character that doesn't exist just did multiple different suicide methods all at the same time?

i thought the same but there is a bigger gap between just 'ouch' and death.
the people in that film would be in extreme pain and be fully aware of it

Doesn't matter what you plug in, if you don't realize bathroom plugs (if your house is up to code) have breakers that stop you from living out your bathtub fantasy. You'll have to run an extension cord to a plug much farther away.

Nail gun method doesn't seem reliable, I would consider this an option as the repercussions for fucking this up is a permanent vegetable lifestyle. Where you'll be forced to live against your own will thats true hell user.

I forgot to include the method I tried in my original post

X. Cutting thigh arterys

There are some very important arterys that are relatively shallow running up your inner upper thigh that if cut will cause you to bleed out in minutes.

Cons : I fucked this up and ended up in the hospital with my family sobbing and the guilt of my mother looming over me. Thankfully I didn't suffer any permanent damage so I'm free to try and hero myself again.

The mind exists to preserve us, and we have existed long before it was needed.
Once it attempts to escape its original purpose it is maladaptive and useless.

what is the meaning behind these grey scale images of a hangman's noose with only colour inside the hoop?

.45 long colt +p to the brain.

let me tell you reddit spacing fuck. its edgy artsy fag shit for "committing suicide is the only way to happiness/out of depression (represented by the gay ass grey shit)."

get drunk and jump from a very high place would work right?

you'd lose most of that fear if you got drunk

You can cure colorblindness with this one weird trick…

You may start seeing life more clearly when you're at the end of your rope.

Bumping for morbid interest

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Bump

I recognise that wall, is that from that one thread on /suicide/ where that aussie fucked up with a gas bottle?

by far the best method with the least pain is a car running inside of a garage. you'll pass out, and slowly die surprisingly painlessly.