Civil War 2 #4 Storytime

Why Carol, why?

This is just.. so very, very, VERY bad.

I like that they just keep saying "we have the math!!!" but don't show an iota of it.

You were wrong, okay. You were wrong, just stop, please.

She Hulk didn't rampage over her cousin's death?

You don't have to do this. Just talk it out. Just talk it out like adults. Please, Rhodey and Bruce already died. It doesn't have to be this way. You're about to fight your friends on a fucking rooftop! Most of you fucking experienced the first damn Civil War!

Next time on Civil War 2…

Is that The Iron Negress? She's already tied up with the Avengers?

And why the fuck would the Guardians of the Galaxy all agree to side with this insane bullshit? I can't imagine they'd all unanimously agree with the moral and philosophical implications of Carol's asshattery.

Holy cross-marketing strategy, Batman!

...

They would since Bendis is writing them.

Be nice to Bendis. He's doing the best he can for a man born with two enormous hams instead of hands.

Oh, I get it. Ha ha. Bravo bendis.

It was kind of a retarded move to not show her face when she found out bruce died, it makes it impossible for her to emote. I guess you had to have that ebin gray skin reveal though.

WHAT COULD GO WRONG

Like….. Mike Brown? Holy fuck Bendis, what are you doing.

"story'

#hulklivesmatter

Okay, I am forced to admit that the splash page of Clint having the sheer balls to strike a pose and a shit-eating grin to the cameras while literally just walking out of a highly televised and contested trial where he got away with killing an innocent and powerful fellow superhero cracked me up enough to, if not redeem this event, at least make it's existence have some degree of justification and worth in my eyes. I don't think a big-name, main-series, Big Two publication will top that chortle for a decade at least.

It's very obviously an old picture.

Oh, well, shit, I haven't liked anything about this yet so no need for the warning.

We hope it's a very old picture.

It's pretty clearly a file photo the news had on hand… but can you imagine him showing up to the verdict reading in full, old Hawkeye gear? Just reminding people of all his years as and Avenger, muttering shit like "Hey, anyone here speak Kree? No? YOUR WELCOME!"

Why have them there? I get Miles is Bendis's pet character but why does the team benefit by having Kate?
Also, since when is the new armored girl so important that she gets to be in the front row among experienced heroes?

If a Hulk shows up, you need a Hawkeye. That's the new meta game, an obvious counter pick.

What I'm wondering is why are the Guardians on Carol's fucking team.

In fact, why the fuck are they even in this at all?

It's hard to justify a few parts of Carol's side, but some of it has flimsy as fuck excuses.
Alpha Flight is there because Canada things this is a great idea.
The Inhumans are there because they are playing her like a damn fiddle have an obvious stake in this.
And she hung out with the X-Men a lot when she was a powerless loser.
I get that she KNOWS people in space, but doesn't everyone know them about the same? And what does Black Panther get out of any of this?

All blacks are psychically linked and something something Rodney is Malcolm X.

Isn't he a part of the Ultimates, and isn't that Carols' team?

This page is deceiving as fuck, the red and black divide making it look like Captain America is on Carroll's side.

this she-hulk is hot. s'all i can say good about this really.

So I've been coming back on and off this and this shit still doesn't make any sense. How fucking petty can you be to fight over bullshit?

She-hulks lives

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I DONT WANT THAT HELLCAT CUNT TO BE HAPPY IN THE NEXT HELLCAT ISSUE

Whoa, whoa, cool it, buddy. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Hellcat ain't worth the loss of the all-new, all sexy She-Hulk. That is assuming she doesn't immediately heal or something boring like that. She needs to stick around long enough for me to get my battle-scarred rule34.

Ya know
Ulysses really should have seen this coming
But maybe nobody gets murdered in the oncoming battle and he just can't see future events where nobody dies.
Maybe he can't see death as a result of suicide/poor life choices.
A proper story would have been lifting that episode of Fringe where a guy kills people though rube-goldburg placement of ballpoint pens.
To actually work with Ulysses powers in testing their limits.
Sure natural disasters and trains derailing but what about every schmo who slips and smashes their head?
Every group of drunk teens diving in the dark on the wrong side of the road.
War just in general, is he just always getting flashes of war?
Does he see a lot of USAgent doing shit?
A constant feed of Frank Castle being Frank Castle?
Regardless of profiling bitches with empty suitcases he can still track down high profile villains just before they do shit.
People and entities that have already committed crimes and are evading the law.

Why the fuck do the GOTG give a shit about this? This is the fucking problem with crossover books you have to read EVERY SINGLE FUCKING tie in book just to understand what the fuck is going on!

Goddamn it Bendis just fucking stop writing please, it's clear you don't care anymore so just fucking stop!

How can one person be such a cunt and still have so many people following her?
Is this the power of Bendis writing?

He can't stop. He is too hooked into the prestige among his social group the job brings.

I still wonder, if there was so many items who could kill the MOST POWERFUL entities in the marvel universe, why weren't they used before?

What's next, a counter sounds wave radio that could nullify Black Ray's voice of mass destruction?

You're not wrong.

I liked Ultimate Spiderman because he seemed good at writing teens. But I hated his 616 stuff because he was STILL writing everyone like teenagers, the Avengers having fratboy discussions (about fucking Carol, if I recall) was pathetic. But this? He's writing Carol like a FUCKING CHILD not a grown ass adult. I get that he has no idea how to make a 'both sides are right' story, but I don't know why it's so hard. Put the characters first, if they won't do this shit, you are throwing away the core thing people care about.

This is just another embarrassing footnote in the history of Carol Danvers, the women most people just didn't know what to do with.

Consider the emotional maturity level of Carol Corps. Why Marvel sees gold in them there Tumblr hills, I have no idea…

I fucking nearly died laughing man.
Holy fucking shit

I mean Iron Man was a member of the fucking Guardians of the Galaxy for a bit.

So, the Guardians of the Galaxy have nothing better to do? I mean, this isn't Galactus or anything that affects the galaxy at large, this is just a planetary dispute.

Beyond that, Dr. Strange is on a side. Unless the Marvel Girl look alike is Phoenix right now, that's gg no re. 'Course they could've massively nerfed him since I stopped following…

Is this a fucking thing? Did Bobby go through Mitosis?

They have the original X-Men, young versions from… time travel shit, I guess. It's weird because the older versions aren't all dead… so, double Iceman.

Old Bobby informing Young Bobby that "You're gay, dude." was a special kind of cringe.
I still think that White Queen was just messing with Bobby's head by telling him he was gay. Bonus points getting a straight boy to suck a lot of cocks just because you told him he had to.

I just imagined him sucking cocks for hours one end, stopping suddenly and saying "Wait a minute…"
And then White Queen bursts out of a closet to declare that she pranked him real good.

Why do people keep trying to make Carol work? It's just one thing gone wrong after another. She's hardly an icon to anyone except the thirstiest fuck-ups, and she doesn't have a hot costume anymore to attract the few remaining old school comic fans.

I just don't see the point. If Marvel wants to pander to Tumblr they can go ahead and dig their own grave, but they might get more than three people reading if they spent some time on a character that reminds people that the company was quite happy to go full retard way before Clone Saga was published.

...

Was it Shooter who had them go from the convoluted plot they wanted to do to this even more convoluted as fuck rape/incest baby plot? After this absurdity, having her absorbed into Rogue's head was a MERCY. Hell, I'm not even sure how she got out of Rogue's head, the only book I read with her physically in it as a child was the X-Men issue where she immediately got controlled by the Shadow King after Rogue and her came back to life. She was always just some bygone memory kept around because Claremont wrote her book for a while, Monica was already the only living Captain Marvel I knew of as a kid. Is she just another one of Bendis's little projects where he liked an old character and was fixated on bringing them back? Fuck, I'm a big Claremont fan, too, but I wouldn't bring a bunch of old characters he worked on back just to fuck them up as hard as Bendis has.

The reason is Bendis

I too enjoyed USM for a time, despite mild annoyance with gratuitous differentiation, like making the Green Goblin a Hulk-esque monster. However, it was still worth reading. Then I got to the Venom arc -_- …

What a shitshow. I get differentiating yourself, de-aging the characters, and infusing everything with high school drama, but Brock's treatment was nothing short of a hit piece. Then, in the afterword, Bendis had the gall to admit he just cranked this out b/c he thought Venom was stupid and he was just ticking check boxes for this one.

That's when I learned Bendis was an ego-maniacal hack. Everything I've seen since then continues to affirm this assessment.

REMEMBER WHEN COMIC BOOKS ABOUT SUPERHEROES, MUTANTS AND TIME TRAVEL WAS COOL AND NOT GAY?
I DO!
IT WAS BEFORE MID 2000'S OR MAYBE 2007 SPECIFICALLY
THE TIME WHEN COMIC BOOKS, VIDEO GAMES AND SUPER HERO MOVIES WERE MADE FOR UNPOPULAR, GREASY FACED LOSERS THAT WE WERE, WHO LONGED FOR ESCAPISM AND SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF THE REGURGITATED POP CULTURE TRIPE

Forget Hydra Cap for a minute, do you think the Red Skull is looking as Wardyke's actions & is taking careful notes? Forget Sin, Carl needs to take over Hydra.

Should I feel bad for the She-Hulk drawing? Everyone else is looking great for Photo Day except for She-Hulk. That obvious contraction made me laugh more than it should.

...

what the fuck happened Marvel?

I'm not ready for this OP. I'm not

It's because they're GIRLS.

I just got up in the morning and the first thing I read was this bullshit.

This is not a comic. This is 25 pages of pointless drama. This is a mid-day soap opera with spandex. It physically pains me to read even one page of this garbage, like it's eating away at my soul.

What the hell is wrong with Carol? Look at this expression. She's literally rolling her eyes at Tony after being told the visions are nothing but hokum. Who in their right mind does that?

While one could say that's a lot of comics, most would at least toss SOME ACTION in there. The closest thing to action is them arresting some bitch with an empty briefcase. At this point the book is just a collection of Carol reaction images. Please read some good comics before starting your day, so that this bullshit doesn't have a negative effect on your life.

That shit was like literal brainwashing
"But I'm only attracted to women, and have had several relationships with women"
"No dude you're gay trust me. Not bisexual because they don't exist, just full on homo gay. Trust me."

I have to assume a writer was like "can I have a gay character" and the editors told him "no, you can have these characters. Just make one of them gay if you want to". The reason why these retcons are so glaring is that Bobby is an old character, he's been around since the time of thought bubbles. And none of his old thought bubbles were "Man, I'm so gay". In fact there were quite a few "Wow, I love this girl". This is why consistency matters so much, because if you're not consistent, people can't believe the characters. And if people can't believe the characters, they can't believe the story. Which also ties into why I haven't cared about a company wide crossover since before the first Civil War. The characters just aren't pushing the plot, the plot is pushing the characters.

Is the king giving a "shut the fuck up woman" face or " I don't trust this guy face"?

Why should we cheers for her again? At least in CW1 both parts had good points, hamfisted but made sense on both side

Carol has ONE point: Ulysses is useful. She just became completely insane the moment she got a hold of him, and didn't think they needed common sense or LAWS in place the moment he arrived. There wasn't even a gradual progress to it, and she keep has little justification for any of it. I'll give the shitfest of CW1 credit for one thing; Tony had his direct peers there to feed into his insanity. With Hank and Reed all along for the ride, it seemed like a good idea, right? Hell, Reed was constantly like "STAY THE COURSE!" and other retarded things to keep things from resolving. Carol? Canada told her it was fine. Even though she herself told them she was emotionally compromised! Anyone who didn't just lose their boyfriend and heavily injure one of their other friends due to incompetence would probably have been a better choice for all this. She can't even handle being wrong about the empty briefcase bitch like an adult.

And if this is going to be even stupider than CW1 anyway, these last two issues better be pure fighting. Just so I can see Carol lose some teeth.

Wait… what? Is beast an inhuman now?

Nah, he just hangs with them now apparently. And one more thing. Is the Fantastic Four not a team anymore? I have not kept up with them.

Had to do with the last event. Secret Wars. At the end, Reed and his family became basically multiversal architechs while Johnny and Ben were reborn with the 616 universe.

Is the Fantastic Four not a team anymore?
Not for the foreseeable future, no. Marvel cancelled their ongoing and apparently told Hickman to kill them off in Secret Wars (presumably because of movie rights bullshit). Benching Reed and his family was a compromise.

How did Marvel screw up their film rights so bad?
Which chucklefuck signed away their rights to Marvel's First Family? Do Marvel not have lawyers these days? Does someone have photos of Joe Quesada fucking a dog?
Will somebody please explain to me how you can just lose a copyright that the company has held since fucking miniskirts, gogo boots and beehives?

Oh no, they got lawyers. How else do you think they were able to keep such an iron grip on the name Captain Marvel. Who even gave a fuck about Marvel's Captain Marvel? They gave it to Carol so they could keep the name usage. And now I will forever be salty about DC having Captain Marvel's name being Shazam also the fact that they made him into a little shit who's an asshole just cuz.

…And that still makes no sense to me.
Didn't DC win that case years ago? I thought that's why Marr-Vell was killed off? Shazam predates Marvel Comics existence, he's a Golden Age character. Do DC have lawyers? I know they used to have fucking lawyers because that's how they got Shazbot from fucking Fawcett!

Okay. I gotta step back a bit and look at this since more information is being given.
For sure Ulyssus ability is manipulated by outside interference, right? Like media and such?
That's not Precog, he isn't seeing into the future. At best Ulyssus ability is nothing more than Super Deduction. So for a fact Ulyssus doesn't see a future just the most likely outcome of a situation. And we are supposed to take a fucker seriously who's finally exposed ability is actually weaker than a precog.
The more I look at this, the more I see Ulyssus power should not be taken seriously in any way, shape or form.

Here's another thing to think about. Let's do say that Ulyssus ability is 100% accurate regardless that it isn't a precog ability. How did he know Celestials would appear or even Thanos? Let's use the Celestials as an example. For Ulyssus ability to work his brain/power would work far and above The Questions own deductive abilities. So did he listen to the weather channel talk about a chance of rain and he looked out the window and saw a black cat than his powers kicked in and he saw Celestials coming? Now Thanos is even stranger.
We saw a few threads back that Thanos come to Earth because a conceited alien spoke out loudly that there was a cosmic cube like item on Earth. This means Ulyssus deductive power would of foretold this alien would speak at the very moment Thanos makes an appearance when Thanos heard the alien by chance. Thanos wasn't waiting in the shadows for hours for some tasty info. He appeared the moment the alien spoke out loud. How the fuck do you deduced a chance encounter like that? Especially when there is no fucking info that Thanos is alive.
Ulyssus power deduced chances that are most likely never to happen.

Marvel sold the film rights to some of their franchises back when they were deep in bankruptcy. This was long before the House of Mouse bought them. The very idea of consolidating the rights to make what's now known as the MCU was nonexistent at that point. Funny enough, I believe the chucklefuck that helped pen the deals was Avi Avad.

Marvel trademarked the name between the time Fawcett stopped publishing Captain Marvel comics and DC started licensing Fawcett's characters in '72. It's no secret that Marvel puts out Captain Marvel comics every now and then for the sole purpose of retaining said trademark, necessitating passing the mantle after Mar-Vell's death.

According to Chris Claremont, the writers are not allowed to create any new characters in X-Men, or they become property of Fox.

bleedingcool.com/2014/10/07/chris-claremont-on-why-x-men-writers-arent-allowed-to-create-new-characters-now/

Is he serious? He's serious.
…
HOW CAN YOU FUCK UP SO BAD MARVEL

That's why the writer couldn't just make a new gay mutant? I have to assume the writer wouldn't care who owns the movie rights (since he either gets paid or not either way) but someone at Marvel just though "what if the writer makes some new gay mutant and he's A SENSATION! Can't let Fox have that! If he wants to make a cool new gay character, he better make it an Inhuman!"

Oh no.. is that why they have the young X-Men? So they could have "new" characters to mess around with, but deny Fox anything they can work with?

It's so fucking absurd how petty the higher ups can be. X-Men used to be THE Marvel book, and now they're just waiting for the best moment to cut it all loose.

If they despite the X-men and Fox so much why don't they get rid of mutants already?

It's not like Marvel Comics is readed by anyone anymore, so I don't think they might have complains from the "fans".

We'll see how close they want to come to doing just that, since the next big event is "Death of X" in October. I guess it's supposed to bring the mutant/inhuman conflict to a head. So it all depends on what kinda deal they may work out with Fox.

It's sad because the X-Men tie in was the single best Civil War II book, and a lot of X-Men related books are honestly still getting written fairly well. There are tons of good stories for the X-Men in the future, and despite liking the Inhumans, I'd MUCH rather read years of X-Men than years of Inhumans stories. Oh well, none of this shit matters. I'll still have Claremont's run at the end of the day to look back on. Back when the X-Men could sell a shit ton of comic books, and that was enough.

I shared the latest Invincible Iron Man in another thread (which I guess isn't a big deal since it has fuck all to do with the event, seems just to be setting up why Tony goes away after). Are there any more tie ins we haven't all seen yet? I'd have storytimed the Choosing Sides shit, but I skimmed it and less than nothing fucking happened.

I say storytime it anyway. It'll give us something to complain about, at least.

I think there's also a tie-in with the Vision that we haven't seen yet, either.

I might look up the Vision tie in soon, but I'm not really kidding about the Choosing Sides thing. One story is about Kate feeling bad about Clint… that's it. She buys coffee and stops a mugging that happens directly under her for no reason. Then J. Jonah talks about reporting for a few pages, and then new Nick Fury fucking tries to find the traitor or whatever but fails… that's the story, he accomplishes literally nothing. It really feels like they just wanted another book so they could get a few more bucks, and didn't care what went into it.

...

Yea, I find this rather hard to believe. She-Hulk should be losing her shit right now.

Carol just looked at her as she yelled "AND?" for several hours, and tired herself out.

Holy FUCK, Carol. She's trying to get the earth destroyed, right? She has to be doing this on purpose.

Considering the absolutely criminal stupidity that Tony took part in for the first Civil War, that seems about par for the course honestly.

World War She-Hulk when?

Who am I kidding, Marvel would just fuck that up too.

check these trips

I would settle for Jen flattening Carl, Wardyke resigning from the Ultimates & the military from "her" gross incompetence.

FFFFFuck.
Where's Rogue when we really fucking need her?

Carl's too evil for Rogue to handle.

Can't we just recreate the carcinogenic Nitro explosion that wiped out the original Capt Marvel?

Wardyke deserves a long, drawn out death…

This is something that was brought up in a previous thread, but I'd rather see them do World War Iron Man. An event where someone gives every single man, woman and child on Earth a suit of Iron Man armor, and most of the event is just dealing with the fallout from that happening.

I suspect that Marvel's current batch of writers would try to use the event to say deep, philosophical things about gun control, and I'm morbidly curious about how badly they'd screw it up.

And im pretty sure Rogue got Terrigen Cancer.

Thanks Inhumans.

...

Tony was an idiot in Civil War. But he never came close to this level of pure "I have no idea what I'm fucking doing".

Not THIS level, no, but he was pretty up there.

You joke, but I would LOVE a company wide event then ended in a big She Hulk court case.

I'd start buying Marvel again if they make this happen. Thanks user.

...

Now I want to read some old Captain Marvel… doubt it's uploaded anywhere though.

He was acting like a supervillain.

user. Stark never got heroes killed. Seriously injured fighting other heroes, sure. But he didn't go into a fight under-prepared and gotten heroes killed. They only were killed when things escalated really quickly. And EVERYONE in the hero community felt shifts from those deaths, even when those heroes were B-class. Carol gotten 2 a/s class heroes killed and no one in the fucking universe gives a shit for it. That's some fucking bullshit bad writing right there.

*Never got heroes killed as carelessly as Carol*

Had so much going through my mind with how very fucking little anyone gave a fuck for Hulks and War Machines death.

It's really just a symptom of how much more desperate Marvel is now compared to a years ago. Civil War 1 only had a throw a few obscure characters on the fire, like Big Black Man and whoever those criminals the Punisher killed were. Basically nobodies they weren't going to use anymore anyway. But Civil War II has to throw two characters that have been in movies down the shitter because that's the only way to try to get anyone to pay attention. It's so fucking desperate and pathetic.

I tried making a She-Hulk Obama poster with "AND?" on it, but I kept fucking up the recolour to green. 'Cause if you leave it blue it just looks like Nebula or Dorma or whoever.

Are any drawfags black belts in Photoshop?

You should probably go with Green and Purple, instead of the Red and Blue at all.

I could understand killing A class heroes for attention. But there are no repercussions from it compared to civil war 1, none. Banner might as well been a character with less backstory, history and influence than Ulysses.

Since those Uncanny Inhumans are a big part of this, I figure I'll storytime their crossover issues, starting with issue 11. I'll do issue 12 a bit after that.

I actually really like this third cover of Medusa destroying the Iron Man armor, just looks cool.

Friday has some HIPS.

So they take all his money and steal all the data from Friday, despite her being a CYBER SAMURAI. But, seriously… you loaded a dog full of grenades? I don't know if I hate it because it's retarded, or love it because it's such a petty, spitfilled act.

But in the end he doesn't give a shit. I mean, that makes sense. Tony's had NOTHING before, several times. He can always get more money, cars of girlfriends. Hell, people knowing exactly how much a sex pervert he is will probably help him with certain ladies. But someone isn't satisfied. Someone thinks the Queen is a fuck up, and needs to step this shit up. And that someone is… not Karnak? Oh. I'm actually surprised.

Oh, I'm sure bringing in Maximus is the best idea ever. He's always conducted himself in a calm, cool manner, right?

So you want me to believe that a b grade hero, nigger none the less, is able to easily bypass Tony Starks system? One that was created to make sure that even Ultron has the most trouble as possible crack AND MODOK? Fuck you Marvel. Just fuck you and your fucking bullshit pandering to minorities.

Oh, yeah, I wanted to mention that adorable water taxi… are those real things?

And this is what happens when Medusa doesn't keep her people on a tight leash. They 9/11 the shit out of places.

This leads right into the Iron Man tie in posted here:

Well, he is using Inhuman magic, right? I mean, Forge could use mutant magic to build an anti-Hulk gun, if he wasn't a lazy, uncreative shit.

Am I alone in thinking Civil War 2 reads like a child's temper tantrum?

It's nothing but empty, petty garbage. I am unable to empathize with any of these characters.

Well, lock the doors, bar the windows. Cause Iron Man might think we knocked down his tower and killed his employees due to all the trolling we've been upto.

Fucking chainsaw arms? The power of Skittles? Flag Man? Really? Inhumans are stupider than mutants.

But the detective work is really beginning.

More investigation work and then this new attack draws everyone in.

So why did they do all this bullshit and kill even more people?

Pure trollin', that's why. It's no "why don't you put the whole world in a bottle, Medusa" but I guess it's okay.

It's odd that Ulysses doesn't even show up in either of these issues. Time passes, and it really seemed like no time passed between when they decided not to destroy the tower and when Beast helps them find Stark, in the main book. So… they should have Ulysses. Even if they don't, and Tony had him for DAYS (which doesn't make sense, as he's clearly shown NOT in hiding 'torturing' him) Ulysses would probably still have a vision or two. I guess he didn't see it because not enough people died? I don't know, I assume I'm supposed to think he still doesn't have a handle on his power, but in a few weeks he can pick out petty crime in time for people to act on it. This is why events needs a lot more planning than just a bunch of books.

Don't try to make sense of it. There's no point. There just isn't any there.

But… everything made so much sense when I was a kid. If a story's place was in question, there would be an editor note saying "this story takes place after X-Men issue whatever" and characters were consistent from story to story more often than not. Why can't I just have that again?

Which surprised Medusa face do you guys think is the best end for a comic? I'm partial to the first one, myself.

Because structured storytelling is just the work of the patriarchy.

And that's asking too much for some tumblr webcomicers.

>Ulysses convieniently fails to predict what logically would get compared immediately to the deadliset terrorist attack ever, followed by a series of followup attacks.
So what are the odds this is going to get brushed away as an unfortunate accident and have no real impact on the rest of the event despite at this moment logically overshadows everything that has actually happened so far and should make even Danvers question if Ulysses is as unbiased as she hopes?

Then she'd have to admit she was wrong. And Marvel isn't going to have that happen.

One hundred million percent. I'm amazed how much stuff that is more interesting and impactful than the event is happening around the event. The mutant/inhuman war building up, Thanos in the basement (which still hasn't been addressed as far as I know), and the Inhumans fucking with Iron Man, a guy who probably could kick all of their asses if Blackbolt didn't step in.

Funny thing user. Each comic issue that has been story-timed so far has had a moment or 2 where the side distractions should have a far more impact in the marvel universe than Ulysses future sight.
Tony Stark or not, that kind of fucking explosion easily effected people who live nearby. You ever see demolitions happen? There's like a good square mile of "Do Not Enter" before a controlled demolition happens. The fucking shock-wave alone could kill sick or weak people.
The fuck man!?

So did we ever see what Jarvis thought of all this Civil War nonsense?
Carol threw his goddaughter in 42 without trial or representation, when she was a foreign national anyway, did he have something to say about that, or does Tony just cuck him that hard?
Still sore about Silverclaw, she'd just saved the whole team, AFTER Diablo turned her into salt. Literally, a pillar of salt. There's gratitude for you. And after Carol used the defense IF IT WASN'T FOR ME YOU'D ALL BE SPEAKING KREE for showing up drunk to Operation Galactic Storm. Well, if it wasn't for Guadalupe you'd all be speaking… Diablo!

which pisses me off, rogues my favorite mutant.

whatever happened with amadeus cho anyways?

Captain Danvers is looking mighty sexy in this issue. Loving the art.

Now if only they could keep that look consistent with all of her other appearances across multiple titles.

Lawful Evil bitch should be wearing a WaffenSS uniform.

You don't understand user.

Medusa HAS to be right. She does the wrong thing, she is a terrible leader and an active threat to humanity in general, but we're not allowed to see her as the bad guy.
This is going to be another "Oh well we did all the wrong things but we're the inhumans/x-men/wacky teens so it's okay" moment. Black Bolt would never have been this fucking stupid, and all these issues are doing is making me realize how much I hate Marvel's metahuman system, and how much better Black Bolt is than all these characters.
Speaking of which, why isn't Black Bolt leading? I stopped reading comics for a while to avoid their shit.

I'd be happy if she could keep one hairstyle panel to panel.

Honestly since her hairstyle changes so much I thought it was on fire at one point in the first issue. It reminded me of starfire for some reason.

That would actually be fucking cool, if she was just venting energy from her head constantly. Hell, she might have done that once in the past, she's had a lot of hero identities and powersets.

I miss her scarf, but I guess Ms. Marvel has it now.

That's actually a pretty good idea. I'm surprised Marvel didn't use this yet to explain the inconsistent artwork.

I don't want to go on after this.

She Hulk just got out of a coma. She's a little confused and just wants to know how long she's been out of it.

Instead of easing her back into things gently, before you even answer her question, you just blurt out that her cousin is dead.

For fuck's sake, Carol.

I have to read more of the old books, to see if Carol was ever this much of a complete cunt to her friends before. She certainly didn't seem as childish as she's portrayed in this, just rolling her eyes when Tony is detailing serious shit and everyone is agreeing with him.

Black Bolt fucked of to run a bar somewhere.Its supposed to act as a neutral zone for everyone to do political business.

I bet his customers like that he's such a good listener.

I don't think any of the marvel staff could write a consequence for a characters action if you held them all at gunpoint user.

Wow…"Mother Bones?" I liked her better when she was called "Marrow," you hacks. Literally just supplanting mutants with inhumans.

Also, BB just gave up being king? -_- Just tossed it all away, after years of stoicism? Then he watches it all being flushed away, and just stands there in his pub? Whatever.

You jest, but considering an off-handed joke led to Ultimate Fury being Sam Jackson, such a simplistic gag could easily be the justification for this turn of events.

The second one gives the impression of a BJ, so yeah…

When she was Binary, she had the power of a star or something like that, and her hair was a radiating crown of energy. It might have been neat to work that into her current design, you can do some expressive work with it, and there's always the potential for a Super Saiyan moment. It wouldn't make a lot of sense though, as it has nothing to do with her current power set.

I'd love to see a chart of all her costumes, powersets and personalities over the years. Such a jerked around character, I'm curious to see how her movie will distill all this bullshit into something understandable. EMH did a pretty good job with her, so it's not impossible. But the comics are written by Bendis, so… yeah.

Here's some pics of her costumes over the year user. My favorite is the Warbird costume.

also here's one for fun

Cool.

That's pretty fucking funny.

you're welcome user.

Well, I read up on it, because I'm a loser who reads the Marvel and DC wikis and apparently they left the door open on her Binary powers. Apparently she was linked to a white hole (a theoretical concept, with tremendous output, mirroring a black hole's intake), and this fueled her powers to extreme degrees. Once severed, her powers are weaker, but not entirely gone. After she return Clearly a narrative fire escape, to avoid committing to anything, which I'd normally frown on. I really like the design of elemental characters like the Human Torch and Iceman, though, so I don't mind the possibility for her to return to her Binary form in this case.

PS: HOLY SHIT! Carol has a brain lesion that acts up if she flies (the wiki doesn't explain whether this is because of altitude or the neural act of willing herself to fly). SHE LITERALLY HAS BRAIN DAMAGE. The wiki doesn't mention any resolution to that plot thread, so the writer's probably forgot about it, but it would dovetail nicely with how crazy she's acting.

She also didn't tell anyone she'd lost her Binary powers, along with her drunken brawling, that was why she was suspended from the Avengers.
…So are Tony's AA meeting buddies just running the Avengers now?

...

He can only trust his fellow alcoholics.

That's cool. I remember when I was a kid and it was first explained that Namor has a chemical imbalance that gets the better of him if he doesn't manage his time in and out of the ocean just right.

Of course not, as rare as common sense are in todays world, you're not the only one with it.

This shit looks stupider by the page.
No, the panel even!

Only burgerclaps wouldn't roll their eyes on this.

That's pretty much the crux of it. According to Iron Man the kid soaks up all information and then calculates probabilities. Okay. Well in that case i'd trust him to predict changes in Wall Street, elections, detect behavioral patterns, all that stuff.
But how did he calculate that Thanos would show up? The causes that lead to his appearance didn't happen on Earth. Does his Data-absorbing-prediction-power reach beyond Earth? How far?
Iron Mans explanation makes no sense. Precognition makes actually more sense than Super-deduction.

He's being fed information via the mind & time gems.

Since the thread with this is gone, and so no one misses out on it, I'll storytime the last Invincible Iron Man issue.

But that's really an excuse to talk about this dialog. I mean, Bendis knows about Bendis speak, right? So is he just doing it on purpose at this point, or can he not help himself?

...

If you feel nothing is happening this issue, don't be alarmed. Boring is the new exciting.

I want to get the 3D models of all these characters, so I can be a real comic book artist too.

Without Blackbolt leading them, I kinda wish Tony would just wipe all the Inhumans out. I liked them better when they were used sparingly, they felt a lot more important and interesting that way. Now that they're just "mutants that we have the movie rights to"… just kill 'em. I'm sure their movie will be fine, but seeing them dragged out every month in the comics just blows.

Then Dr. Doom shows up, Expect Doom to hang out exclusively with people that Marvel has the movie rights to, so that Fox can't make any real use of any upcoming stories. Not that any of these stories will be good, because Bendis is writing.

So…is Tony gone for the rest of the Civil War? Is it over by the time he's sitting around Stark Tower? Why's Doom wandering around like this? Why are they still using the shitty 3D cel shading filter for the page art?

This has more retarded unknowns than a Chinese instruction manual.

God the artwork is terrible. Also is it just me or does Victor Von Doom look like Rand Paul in the top panel?

He's obviously taller than Iron Nigra, so no.

This makes me uncomfortable.

There were a few times he didn't have the mask. I think in Secret Wars he cured his face. That and the original idea Kirby had for him was he only had a tiny scar he treated as a disfigurement because he was such a perfectionist.

...

...

Quality
Quality
QUALITY

I still don't understand why he became an IDENTICAL black agent. Like, did he make the first panel, and then just forget which agent model he was using? And he couldn't even change the lighting on Tony when there was an glow effect between their dicks.

Probably. The firefighter looks completely different too.

As far as the dick glow, maybe he was trying to show that Victor Von Doom doesn't just start docking in the middle of the street unless its with the highest possible technology.

Is this shit traced poser images?
I mean, I recognize a lot of these fucking poses as just straight up poser default.

Well, he kinda built the clone cyborg Thor that tried to kill the heroes on Cap's side. Goliath died a giant that day. It took 38 burial plots to fit him. Tony even payed for it.

Given that Marvel will hire people like this, I would not be surprised at all.

I mean look at the glow panel and the one before it. Outside of the PS layering, there's NO CHANGES. At all. It's the same fucking panel. So fucking lazy.

I guess this issue of All New, All Different Avengers is a tie in because Ulysses shows up for a few pages.

I could seriously stop here, that's all the shit related to CWII in this at all. At least they establish how Ulysses goes from having a vision ever few days to having enough to see petty crime. The egg sound more like torture than the finger flick Tony gave him.

I'm tempted to do a
WE WUZ KANGS
joke here, but I'm far too classy for that.

Now is the time for punching babies and mysterious whispering.

Would you Kang's mom?

More goddamn whispering.

Is this what SJWs call "boosting the narratve"?

I'm bored. Last two issues of the Ultimates incoming.

I was confused at first by her throne, until the setting was established.

They finish assembling G.I.Jo- um, the Ultimates, then we get back to Ulysses sensing Thanos.

This still doesn't make any sense. Friday would let a message through to Tony if the message was FUCKING THANOS IS COMING. So we still have to swallow the most nonsensical thing ever to get one character killed and another hit so hard she got a redesign.

Still the question remains if Medusa is incompetent or purposefully fucked up in some scheme to give the Inhumans more power.

Also, last page of the previous post: NO BULLY!

Yeah, he should have heard it from you, ya dumb cunt. I guess now is as good a time as any for some making out.

JUST AS PLANNED

Next issue, some thing is happening.

So they've been handling the thing for years, but now they want to really handle the thing with some forewarning.

So Ulysses fanboys a bit and we confirm that Carol is a complete dismissive cunt whenever people question her clear lapses in judgement.

So about this new ethnic Giant Man… does he know there is a Civil War going on? He might want to lie low, considering what happened to the last giant guy of color last time.

Everything worked out, and this guy in the cell is sad. If only someone would give him a hug.

ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU

Nah, he'll be alright. Unless Tony builds another cyborg clone. Then Tony will have to buy another 38 burial plots.

Ay yi yi.

It doesn't really feel right with Rhodey's death. It's just kinda "he dead" and that's it. It feels fucking empty. Neither Tony or Carol really express how they felt besides "He was my best friend" and "He was my boyfriend". Come on, have Carol do an inner monologue or something, at least Tony was visibly crying and had it to add to his motivation of getting involved with the Inhumans. Just give me something!

it's a cheapd death to install a false sense of drama.

Wasn't there an article written months before this event started that revealed that they literally started from 'somebody needs to die to sell the event'? As in, before they even knew what the plot was going to be, they decided that they were going to kill off a character purely to drive sales?

Please kill yours- oh, it's actually a thing. The inmates are truly running the asylum, I guess.

Oh hey, they acknowledged her Binary powers. That's cool.

that is some american police shooting reporting bullshit right there

I love how EVERYTHING Carol says here is wrong. "Don't worry, Clint will totally go to jail for all that!" and can't even reassure her teammate that she'll TRY not to fuck up as bad.

When I think about it, even if the plan failed (mostly due to not bringing in stronger people and specifically due to a a questionable call by Medusa in the middle of the fight, which no one called her on at all) Carol asked Black Panther and Monica for a strategy. So… why the fuck is Carol even the "leader"? Just because Canada likes her and doesn't want to to trust anyone else? Seems like nearly any other member of the team would be a better leader for the group.

Oh that giant being from another dimension capable of destroying our entire planet with his mere existance? Just a chinese tourist, no harm intended whatsoever. See if we could only TALK with the unknown, it would all be fine, see?

Oh yeah, that thing is going to hold the fucking Fallen Titan. Sure. Nothing bad is going to happen. Nope. Nope-a-rooney.

Oh look, something bad is happening!

I can't believe how well the She Hulk is taking all of this. The Jenn Walters I grew up reading would have flattered Wardyke & whatever side of the country she was on.

Let those triple dubs console you

I want to fuck America Chavez

But, she only likes tacos user, not hotdogs.

I know

All because a few writers demand that feisty latina = lesbian.

Where do other feisty latinas even come from if they're all lesbians???

It's apparently a fetish they're doing now. It's like how writers had a raging hard on for anything that involved the mind control/enslavement/captivation/molestation in the 80's. There were like 15 different events with just Storm. You know what happens when you allow writers to use characters for their own personal fetishes? You get the future mind control insect rape baby. And depending on how bad you fucked up with it you can say goodbye to the the fans that were throwing money at you for that specific character.

TL;DR Writers shouldn't ham fist in their fetishes with their professional work.

Heroin can't numb the double whammy of Bendis speak & complete and total absolute mischaracterization.

Anyone going to storytime the new shit that came out today? I did the last few and just don't feel like it.

Fine, I'll storytime issue 3 of the only book in this crossover I can actually say I enjoyed: Civil War X-Men.

We even get a little dark future action.

In these pages Magneto basically asks: Are the Inhumans all assholes?

Let's keep reading and find out…

Well, if Medusa, as their queen, is someone I should judge them all on: Yes, the inhumans are all assholes. And idiots apparently, because I don't see why they want to make every enemy possible during this event.

Random inhuman spy deserved to get caught.

You now realize in three issues, there have been characters switching sides, various bits of action and clashes of personality that have logically lead to friend fighting friend. This is better than the main book in EVERY WAY, as well as addressing the concerns over Ulysses without turning anyone into a Nazi. I dare say this entire tie in MAKES SENSE, which is more than the actual event does.

Magneto played them like a damn fiddle

So… Magneto Was Right t-shirts are about to come back into style, it's safe to say?

Can we get the Nick Fury shirts too? Where is he anyway?

Gambit will always be one of my favorite mutants.

I never really understood why people hated mutants so much when they were basically just like any other fucking superpowered mother fucker in NewYork.

The only thing I can think is that people actually believed the hype that mutants were the next step in human evolution, and fear extinction. People who gain powers through happenstance, or even the very limited number of people who have the inhuman gene, isn't as prevalent as mutants were. Also due to mutants manifesting in puberty, there were probably a lot more incidents that reflect poorly on mutants in general, on top of the general racism and terrorism.

But the real answer is that people in the Marvel Universe are assholes. Complete fucking assholes.

The real real reason is that Marvel's stories were originally separated in their own things until a big crossover event happened. Which made everyone tied into one universe. So then you have the Mutant hatred problem that got lumped in even though it didn't make sense in a world of supers.

Goddamn fuck the Inhumans. This event probably meant to push them.

But now I want them to fuck off to Not!New Genesis and not bothering anyone else. Them and the fucking T-Mist bullshit.

No one is better off because of it.

In fact. I can believe Magneto would be triggered by the fucking Terrigen mist. It kills mutants. His people are literally dying by being gassed and it's being celebrated.

We lost Cyclops and Professor X. But we got Ulysses and the black girl who stole.a caveman's pet dino. That's a fucking fair trade.

Fucking MCU. It just fucked Marvel's shit up.

Bitch, what?! I could understand if he was foiled somehow, but CAPTURED? They better have brought the whole team.

The only competently written book is in the franchise Marvel is currently most desperate to kill. The world is built on irony, it seems. Also, it's possible that the tight restrictions of writing an X-men book (no new mutants, no new characterization or plot threads that could be exploited in a Fox movie) might be keeping them on track.

I honestly think the fact that they want to quietly get rid of the X-Men helps a lot. It probably means the writers and artists for it WANT to work on it, at least more than a lot of the other guys. It keeps a lot of their "big names" off of it as well, which include hacks like Bendis or random writers they picked up for identity politic points. So it's allowed to just be a book, low enough on the totempole to not need to be turned into propaganda.

damn this xmen stuff is great. Better than the actual event. Hell better than the sam wilson captain america stuff. Though the only thing that bugs me is why is Sabretooth so calm now. He usually is an unrepentant killer so I don't know why he became a nice guy now?

So, how many issues do these tie ins last? Is it just 4?

Does this team do the main X-Men books? If the current X-Men stuff is good, I might have an actual Marvel book to read again until they finally kill off all the X-Men

it was THYMBOLITHM for homo hate

It's a catch all for everyone hate. It was a lot more about racism back in the day, it just became more about gays because less people were openly racist, but people still vocally get pissy about shit like gay marriage. Even if that theme eventually goes away as less and less people care, there is always SOMEONE who is being hated. So it's a great theme that is timeless and can adapt as needed.

While this action might make you think that I hate all of you I'm not denying it either this IS a tie in. A series that should have died at issue 5 keeps on living despite shit sales and is a tie in.

Think about it, Patsy Walker had a tie in issue. People focus on Rhodey and Banner dead, but in those same instances She-Hulk got hurt and then Hawkeye went to trial. Why? To apparently push two of Marvel's worst books that aren't being written by Bendis.

I started reading, but I can't get through it alone. So I'm taking you all to Hell with me.

Before I move on:

Now, sure. Mockingbird was actually a pretty popular and liked character for a time.

Anyway, the whole thing is about her trying to get evidence to get Barton off for a murder he totally committed. Seems pointless to publish this after everyone knows the verdict in the main book, and it didn't seem like the verdict was a surprise either. So I guess just make a few nerd references like Betrayal at House on the Hill or anything else they could think of at the moment. It's almost like writing a comic. Almost.

Mysterious horse head drags this out because the book needs to be 22 pages.

I actually smiled at the "find a place to put it" joke on the 3rd page here, but that's only because I hate Bobbi. And I only hate her because she's so easy to hate.

Oops, I forgot pg 16. Here it is. I bet you really missed it. I bet you really cared.

I bet you couldn't have slept if I had just forgotten to post pg 16 of this comic.

I was hoping the horsehead guy was at least an inhuman with a horsehead. Just… something entertaining in this comic.

Okay, so, let me get this straight. This entire tie in issue has to concern a part of Civil War 2 that was resolved already, and it's at least a 2 parter. And the informant doesn't even matter, he's just the set up. Also they mention Wil Wheaton. Also, I sadly like this art but the writing is shit.

Please read this letters page. Even if you skip this comic where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED, read this letters page.

Oh, and I guess this is a page. For some reason. Like the paperdolls from the earlier issues, just one page devoted to a gag. But the only gag I enjoyed in any of this book was the thought of Bobbi with a Northstar woodcarving shoved in her ass.

So take the top right of this letter page from Patsy Walker, and the middle of the one from Mockingbird (both the Civil War tie in issue as well). Why specifically mention things are not canon? At first, I assumed it was simply to cover the fact that they didn't read much about the characters they're writing (which is probably true), but is someone taking precautions if CWII doesn't just suddenly make these books fly off the shelf?

Why aren't Patsy and Bobbi the start of a separate "Girl power books where NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS" universe? I'm amazed Squirrel Girl doesn't have someone in the event who got hurt or sidelined to get her no sales book some attention. But I don't even know if she has a supporting cast of any sort.

The blame is yours for daring to hope.

Seeing how that corpse didn't piss or shit itself Bobbi with he supposed scientific intellect can summarize that it isn't dead.

Then again, she can't be very smart to start with what with denying the existence of Alots and all.

Fox: Hey, look! A good plausible Xmen fighting each other story! Lets rip it to one of our movies! Which mutant can do prophetic crap?

Because at its crux, mutation is about racism, homophobia, bullying, general ostracism and every other possible metaphor you can cram. It doesnt matter why the general populace ostracize mutants; its important that they DO.

And as far as I believe, its because mutants are unknown, and dangerous. Lets take a step back; Stark is an eccentric billionaire who made a megacorp. Hulk is a green monster who trashes cities. Loki is a God, and the next possible president.

Super-powered people in the Marvel universe are pretty well-known, and not all that many people who tend to gather at New York. The few whose origin stories are known – like Stark – are self-made, or self-inflicted.

What about mutants? Well, imagine your thirteen year old son, the one you denied an XBox last week and enjoys Steven Universe suddenly could launch bone spikes out of his hands, or drain life until you turn to dust. Imagine that at the drop of a whim of Fate, your forty years of toil at Stark's can go up in smoke just because you wanted to have a normal life like your grandparents had in this mad world where gods walk among us, because you married the wrong woman. Or because of YOU.

There are many reasons to fear mutants. To me, its that they're the unknown. Until Xmen tries to make a Gattaca storyline, it will stay an unknown.

that last question seemed kinda suspicous. Maybe because the guy is supposedly Mockingbirds father, writing to a comic book writer about a fictional character thats supposed to be his daughter. Weird.

Yeah, I guess that's as close to a sensible answer as to why people hate mutants. And I agree it's not really about the why, it's just part of the story you have to accept to enjoy it.

…Yeah, I'm not reading that. But hey, since I assume it at least moderately has something to do with Hawkeye killing Bruce Banner, perhaps I can interest you in reading about the Hulk's funeral and Dr. Banner's last will and testament, instead?

Civil War II: The Fallen

…Okay, so I read the letters page.

Knowing that Mockingbird is an unreliable narrator who is deliberately twisting the facts to make herself look good is only making me think worse of this book, not better. Maybe I would be able to stomach the writing if the point of the story was for Bobbi to gradually become less of a bitch over time, but that doesn't seem like it's going to be the case.

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

And that's it for issue 1 of Civil War II: The Fallen.

Okay… so Tony could make it to this funeral, but not Rhodey's? And it's not even like he didn't go to that because Carol's a bitch, because THE BITCH IS RIGHT THERE!

I am glad Ben said what we've all been thinking for decades. Because the Hulk kicked his ass nearly everytime they threw down. Even Gray Hulk tricked him into an ass kicking. And if the cops can't handle funeral protesters, no wonder Americops got approved so easily.

Banner was too beautiful for the world.

I like this a lot better than how they handled Rhodey's bullshit funeral in the Sam Wilson book. None of this "every black hero we could remember is his FAMILY" these are the actual characters who have been with Bruce through thick and thin. This is good stuff, and actually interesting tale.

It is sadder when people with some actual writting skills do something interesting but can't change the full stupidity Marvel comics has become.

Also, after World War Hulk 1 I thought the image of the Hulk improved a little, specially because he was totally right about how everyone is shitting on him for lateral destruction when other heroes without a savage beast on their brain did worse.

honestly it feels more appropriate having Rick Jones here than in the Sam Wilson Cap stuff. He was always friends with the Hulk and it really shows here.

Shit nigger more like Ms. Spic.

Yeah. There are good writers are Marvel, but they're not running the show. Guys like Bendis who don't have a real direction for the universe seem to be in charge, and it all comes off as desperate. This stuff, I could see being interesting. If Banner NEVER came back to life, there would be Hulk characters to carry on the story and keep interesting. But knowing the book specifically also targeted supporting characters in shit like Patsy Walker and Mockingbird just to try and boost these books no one likes but they keep pushing, stinks of stubbornly trying to keep shitty books on the shelves. When I think of those books being purposefully pushed, while X-Men (in the past their biggest books by far) are slowly pushed into the background, it drives me nuts.

I love the Marvel characters. I grew up with them. But I don't have a desire to buy any of this shit. Because with rare exceptions, these aren't the characters I grew up with.

...

wait Nick Spencer wrote Sam at Rhodey's funeral just to talk about him being black. I don't know whether to be pissed or laugh. Nick Spencer is a white guy trying to do race but fucks it up completely. I don't think Rhodey would have wanted his funeral being used to race bait people. It really is fucked up that Tony and Pepper Potts weren't there they had more of a connection to him than Sam Wilson. Also, sad to see Nick Spencer fucking up Sam Wilson for his own political agenda.

It's even funnier with Sam Wilson because he originally got into the Avengers because they needed a black guy. Once Sam learned about this he was pissed and stormed off and Captain America feeling bad about the whole thing joined him and journeyed with him across America fighting social injustice and becoming best friends. Its sad to see what they've done with Sam Wilson he deserved better. Hell, all these characters deserve better.

It was actually the LOWEST shit. Not only did they bullshit "Tony's in no state to be here" so that Sam could give the eulogy, but it starts with a room full of black superheroes Rhodey hardly fucking knew referring to themselves as his "family". Because they were black. They even mentioned inviting Blade, but I guess he didn't care because he hardly knew Rhodey at all and the chance of vampires being there was slim to none.

Think about if your best buddy had died, and then a bunch of random people of his ethnicity who only knew him in passing said "we're his FAMILY, we'll handle the funeral stuff". You'd feel like your buddy was reduced to just being his race, when you probably never gave it much thought at all. As a kid who grew up reading Iron Man in the 80s, that's kinda how I feel. James Rhodes wasn't JUST some black superhero. He was a character with decades of history that got ignored at his funeral to push an agenda that splinters people instead of bringing them together.

? Nobody with any writing skill writes for comics.

Proof:

Just look at western comics, especially capeshit.

Is there not a tie in that deals more directly with Hawkeye's trial? Seems like it would have been good to publish something like that between issue 3 and 4 of the main book.

Sometimes I forget this is even about a precog. Because it seems more like everything happening around it is a plothook instead of related to it at all.

We Hotline Miami nao

Are you saying… getting caught was part of his plan?

OF COURSH

w-why is her tumblr nose contained to a pentagon?

If BP is so brilliant & wealthy why can't he hire someone smart, sane & competent to run the Ultimates?

Also, shouldn't the military strip Carl of its rank & jail it just to prevent all the unlawful arrest lawsuits that will be piling up?

Writing a sane, smart and competent character requires a sane, smart and competent writer.

GOOD LUCK!

I haven't kept up with the x-man in a long time but they managed to make Magneto to make me side with him in this issue which is new for I just hope they don't make him go full bad guy again because Marvel is pushing the Inhuman pieces of shit

Bruce was too good for the world

He could because the writer for that book is a hack that wanted to make a retarded statement

*could not

Well technically she was BENDIS'd by an "anti-Thanos missile" don't try and change it we all know you're full of shit.

I miss his A-Bomb days.

so that wasn't just from the cartoon?

I'm gonna post the Sam Wilson stuff but before that let's take a look at who could have given the speech instead.(note some might be dead, obscure as fuck, or from the ultimate universe because I just looked up a list of friends he had.)

Tony Stark, Pepper Pots, Carol Danvers, Steve Rogers, Crimson Dynamo (Vanko), Crystal, Darkhawk, Dum Dum Dugan, Danielle Cage, Eric O'Grady, Hank Pym, Julia Carpenter, Komodo, Meld, Mockingbird, Monkey King, Moon Knight, Nick Fury, Quarry, Scarlet Witch, Thunderstrike, Tigra, Wonder Man, American Eagle, Archon, Ares, Black Widow (Clone), Cable, Cloud 9, Living Lightning, and Lila Rhodes

Some of those wouldn't make sense but the the writer for this ticks me off the way he sounds like he's pushing a narrative at a fucking funeral.

He was blue hulk until he got de-hulked and he was a pretty cool dude compared to all the other hulks. A-bomb was his name since he resembled Abomination a bit.

It's not about me but, Americops.

I'm black and I find this family thing stupid.

He said so himself! Get Carol to do it, fuck! She could use something to lessen her negative attention.

Wait when did they become a thing?

didn't Rhodey have a niece? Is she here?

The last few pages just lead to the next issue.

They used every excuse to have NONE of Rhodey's real friends and family as an option for the eulogy. They skip any character he met as a supporting character in Iron Man, or in his various solo books, and just say toss every black superhero they could think of. People he hardly knew. I try to give this book a fair shake, but whenever I think of these pages, I can't ignore how hamfisted it all is.

Tony would be there, no matter what. Rhodey wasn't "one of" Tony's best friends, he was THE best friend. Unless I'm forgetting something, Rhodey is the ONLY person Tony ever trusted enough to be Iron Man in his place (though even that distinction will soon be given to Riri and Doom). He'd be there no matter what.

This entire thing cheapens James Rhodes. It makes it feel like he was his race and nothing more. And that should be an insult to any man.

aren't the police that usually do police brutality government employees? I know there's such a thing as private police but it seems like the government ones are the ones that start the police brutality usually.

honestly it is a shame. Tony would've been there no matter what. Honestly I thought this would've been worse but its still insulting.

It's already bad enough Spencer went out of his way to cut out the one person who should have been there, but then he has Wilson spend a good portion of the eulogy talking about himself. A+ writing there, Nicky boy.

I kind of feel bad for Sam Wilson. Was he usually written like this?

Yes, Lila Rhodes, probably not.

I forgot to say, Misty, Danielle Cage already beat you there.

This is probably among the most Rhodey ever really brought up his race while in the armor. He didn't make it a pressing concern for people, because it wasn't.

One of the few issues I owned with Rhodey in the armor actually picked up from a cliffhanger where Mandarin was going to having him cut his own throat with a sword. Rhodey broke his control because he's one unbreakable mutha fucker. It sucks that such a good character can be tossed aside like this just to sell a cheap, poorly planned event.

This is the only time I remember anyone bringing up race to Rhodey's face.

OOH

He has a niece? SJWAR MACHINE INCOMING

Okay, I've heard about this event second hand, but ever actually seen the panels depicting it, and can we step back and look at this for a second? Clearly, you don't dumb-fire missiles at such a close range, these things probably have tons of advanced targeting in them. Even MORESO if they are "anti-thanos" missiles. Simply shifting his position before he fires is not going to send it off course. It's DESIGNED to be fired at a specific target while flying at high velocity. You would need to swat it off it's trajectory or damage the guidance systems in the suit. This whole drama is predicated on bullshit.

I could also accuse Bendis of sexism & misogyny.

Think about it; a group of minorities & women fight Thanos & it turns into a slapstick comedy of errors. What was Medusa going to do? Give him a hairball? War Machine flown over top of Thanos & fired at him from behind as Jen taunted & tanks the mad titan.

I won't even go into BP, Monica, or Carl not evacuating the building with 3 hours of warning time & then setting up a better ambush with proper heroes.

But they did evac.

To be fair, they actually did evacuate the building. They replaced all the people inside with Life Model Decoys in order to have a better chance of catching Thanos off-guard.

Later books have also claimed that Carol got everyone together that she could reach at the time, but that's a blatant fucking lie, considering that we know that Tony was free at the time.

They already have Iron Black Lad.

who is iron black lad? is he from the young avengers?

Oh shit, I thought lad was some sort of call a young girl. Didn't you see the horrible black girl ironman made in a 3d program instead of drawing storytelling that was featured here a while ago?

Yeah I saw the black Iron chick. I was confused why you called her lad because thats normally used for boys. Yeah the artwork in that was awful and lazy.

They're still going to call her "Iron Man" so lad kind of works.

Why not Demolish it with Thanos inside? All Carl brought was C Listers. Explosive damage & then the weight of burning rubble would have weakened him so that even Third Rate knock offs like War Machine, She Hulk, & Blue Marvel could have taken Thanos without casualties.

If I were a 5 star general I'd have Col Manvers dishonorably discharged on psychiatric grounds.