Stop being rude or I'll rip your balls off

In the comic Orion, the good son of Darkseid raised by the noble High Father, from New Genesis, came to Earth, under High Father's orders, to kill a son of Zeus, a being who posed great threat to the whole universe.

Initially he thought that this baby was the one Wonder Woman was protecting, but eventually he learned that the baby in Wonder Woman's protection was actually Zeus reincarnated in human form as a mean to escape the wrath of his own son.

So Orion decided to help Wonder Woman out while they both tried to protect baby Zeus from everyone and find this son of Zeus, but while Orion is a good and noble warrior, he kept constantly teasing, humiliating and hitting on Wonder Woman.

It's implied that Wonder Woman likes Orion, but was tired of his constant disrespect. So in down moment with the whole party gathered together Wonder Woman, after another remark by Orion where he implied that she wanted to fuck her own brother because they were Greek Gods and Demi-Gods, surprised him by french-kissing him in front everyone grabbing his balls in her iron grip and threatening to smash them if he didn't started to respect her the same she did him.

Orion had a boner after that, and since this is Orion we're talking about he kept right on doing the same shit, but after that he started respecting her more. He still teased and hit on her, but in a more light way.

They made a cute couple and had tons of chemistry, to bad that at the same time Geoff Johns started to pair her up with Superman in JUSTICE LEAGUE, this without telling Brian Azzarelo, the writer of WONDER WOMAN. So when the writers of SUPERMAN and ACTION COMICS started to develop her relationship with Superman the whole thing became a mess, specially when Scott Lobdell, the writer at the time of SUPERMAN, kept the whole "Orion is fucking Superman's girlfriend" angle.

...

Here's Superman hearing about Wonder Woman and Orion from far away with his super-hearing and being quiet about it like the beta nu-male that he is, courtesy of Lobdell in SUPERMAN.

In the same issue Orion beat the crap out of Superman for another misunderstanding before Wonder Woman should up and saved Superman's ass by convincing Orion to pursue another way.

That's Orion? What the fuck, I thought it was Steve Trevor.

Wonder Woman couldn't do shit against him, what is this crap?

Dude, Orion liked her. Despite being an ass to her, he'd never hurt, and she grabbed his junk while kissing him.

Shit was just foreplay.

Fucking wut

It's Orion, dude. Guy's Darkseid-lite.

What's the sauce on this, rebirth? I know Orion and Not-Diana were a thing but not for long in Gods and Monsters and I can't help thinking that's the cause of this.

Yeah, Orion is more than a match for Superman. He could trash most of the Leagues tanks pretty easily, maybe even multiple at a time. That would include Kryptonians.

Reminder.

And there's many times where Superman has trashed Darkseid, so Darkseid-lite shouldn't be much of an issue.

God, DC needs to just establish how strong Superman is and stop jumping around.

What's this? Orion not being a raging dick? What spore of madness is this?

Well, the Not-Diana in that animated movie was Bekka, who has always been his love interest/wife. So i think that the animated movie took some inspirations from the WONDER WOMAN comic written by Brian Azzarelo.

Initially in The New 52 was to write Nu52 Orion as a love interest/maybe boyfriend to Nu52 Main Earth (known as Prime-Earth) Wonder Woman in the WONDER WOMAN comic, but after Geoff Johns decided to pair her with Nu52 Prime-Earth Superman in JUSTICE LEAGUE Azzarello had to change his plans.

Then James Robinson, who was at the time writing the EARTH 2 comic that took place in a parallel universe, picked up on that and was going to have Nu52 Orion be a father to Nu52 Earth-2 Wonder Woman's daughter, to kinda continue that relationship for Nu52 Orion in some way. Basically Nu52 Orion would still have feelings for Nu52 Prime-Earth Wonder Woman despite her being with Nu52 Prime-Earth Superman and since he is a New God and can travel between universes and dimensions with his Boom-Tube he'd find another version of her and fuck the shit out of that version, that version being the Nu52 Earth-2 Wonder Woman.

But fate had it that Robinson quit the book after getting pissed off about his editors wanting to mess with his book and plans, so later on Tom Taylor, the new writer of EARTH 2, revealed that the father of the villainous daughter of Nu52 Earth-2 Wonder Woman, which was supposed to be Nu52 Orion, was actually Nu52 Steppenwolf, the guy who invaded the Earth-2 universe on Nu52 Darksedi's orders. Why Nu52 Steppenwolf? I don't know. The EARTH 2 book became very stupid after Robinson left.

Wheew… got all that? I'm kinda sad that Orion x Wonder Woman never got past flirting and mutual caring. They made a nice couple.

Those don't count!

Holla Forums stop making me horny and reminding me of my sexless life

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Superman got to make a porno with Mister Miracle's wife once. Only fair that Orion got to have Superman's girlfriend in return.

Post the porn

Wait… that doesn't balance the scales for Mister Miracle at all!

Hey, man. Mister Miracle got to watch both times.

In actuality it was one of those it almost happened but, snapped out of the mid control at the last minute things.

Also don't do this to the man who puts a ring on it. There is already more than enough ntr in the world both fictional and irl. Does the holy bond of matrimony mean nothing anymore? Where are the star sapphires when you need them. "to give love and fight against hate and fear." sounds kinda vague but they do something right?

…is that his dong?

That's his thigh user, get you head out of the gutter.

'Not-Diana' was Bekka, his wife.

I too am seeing some rather unfortunate dong

I thought Orion was like this Byronic hero? Why is he acting like Guy Gardner?

Holy shit I haven't thought about this since the 80s and my cousin showed me his Darkseid action figure.

Why does he wear a skirt?

The same reason superman wears colored underwear, the costume looks better that way.

1) It's a tunic
2) He doesn't always wear it

Okay okay okay

My DC period was in the late late 90s and was brief as fuck, but let me see if I can ken this. He can fly, right? He has these eye beam things that he primarily relies upon but is willing to brawl like a Pole when they don't work, right? He is door mode with strong ass legs and huge thighs. That skirt looks tight as fuck.

How does that make sense? I can understand Superman's underwear becase when you are traveling that fast and fighting that physically it gives you the aerodynamics and support for your super dong to keep you in the fight.

Unless Darksied is sporting a baby dick, crosses his legs when he flies, and takes mincing little steps so he doesn't tear his tight as skirt that costume makes zero sense.

Not just bad fashion sense, bad common sense.

No

He can hover.

...

It's more like a tunic. The belt just turns it into a skirt.

And Orion is OOC as fuck. He only has two modes, Judge Dredd and Mr. Hyde, and neither gives a FUCK about women, wonder or otherwise.

Sad thing is I'd rather see Orion fuck Wonder Woman than Bruce fucking Babs.

See Timm this is how you do a "It's so wrong" paring.

Except that it's not, because there's nothing wrong with Orion fucking Wonder Woman

What about Bekka?

Not while he has husbandu Lightray.

Lol, I wish I could find that balcony scene.
"All that flowery crud, ripped away by untimely fright!" Orion at his sardonic, glowering Byronic best.

Not really. Firstly Darkseid is way more powerful than Superman and secondly Darkseid is immortal. Superman might have owned Darkseid once or twice, when he pushes himself to the limit, but he's never beaten him.

If it takes everything Superman's got to beat Darkseid, someone half as powerful would at least be an equal match

Orion thought of Wonder Woman as a friend warrior and a hot broad. First he could only see a hot broad and that's probably why he was such an ass, but later on he started to respect her as a warrior and then his dick got confused with FEELINGS.

This comic was pretty much John Byrne pissing all over Jack Kirby. He knew that Kirby based Mister Miracle and Barda on him and his wife with their stories being mostly little recounts of his married life.

So in the comic Sleeze, this disgusting New God from Apokolips, who was banished and with perversion and mind-control powers, came to Earth and started working in the porn industry in LA, gaining mad dosh with rape vids in the black market.

In his attempt to take revenge against Big Barda, who used to command Darkseid's Furies, Darkseid's elite guards and hunters, when she still served him before escaping to Earth, he found her and kidnapped her with his powers, forcing her to do porn.

Darkseid's Earth informants found some of the tapes and showed Darkseid, disgusting him. Darkseid while being… well, himself, still had a modicum of respect for Big Barda, as well for Mister Miracle, who managed to escape him with her.

So he took the tapes and went to inform Mister Miracle of what was happening to his wife. Mister Miracle came just in time of stopping Sleeze to force Superman and Big Barda to fuck on camera. This would have been Superman first vid.

So yeah, while Superman didn't had time to do anything, Big Barda clearly fucked tons of times on camera against her own will.

I'm sorry, user.

The only reason they kidnapped Superman was because they had gotten bored with Big Barda. They wanted to do something more degrading and spectacular, and what's more spectacular than Superman, the paragon of virtue, doing all kinds of nasty shit with a man's wife on camera?

So you just have to wonder what kind of shit someone like "Sleeze" had done to Big Barda before.

Why? It was fucking hilarious

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lol that faggot is wearing a skirt

Jack Kirby had a low opinion of John Byrne. He and Steve Gerber (who was pissed with Byrne taking the company line over Gerber's claim for ownership of Howard The Duck) made him into "Booster Cogburn", a company man with a removable spine and no genitals.

I should have researched it more. Well that's another tally mark for happily married couples in DC getting shit on. Anymore besides the Mr. and Mrs. Dibny after "Identity Crisis" also known as "Infinite Suffering for a superhero who was more detective than hero and his wife who at the very most made idle chit-chat with the members of the league." The only solace I have is that reboots nuke certain parts of formerly canon history.

That is hilarious. In what comic did this appear?

Destroyer Duck, Steve Gerber's other duck character. He used the comic to raise money for his lawsuit over the ownership of Howard the Duck.

Ironic, because so much of Byrne's work is inspired by Kirby

Not this version of Wonder Woman anyway but really anytime a version of WW that was raised by man hating feminist dykes fucks a guy it makes my dick rock hard.

But what's wrong about it? It's a woman fucking a man. It's what you'd expect

I feel the same, but what seals the deal for me is when Wonder Woman realizes she's a submissive

Not the same user, but I imagine nothing pisses feminists off than to having the attractive ones submitting to the cock.

Damn, that's savage.

Then Byrne erased Gerber's entire run on She-Hulk by having her wake up and discover it was all a dream, which was a reference to what Gerber was planning to do with Bill Mantlo's run on Howard The Duck if he had won his court case.

Turnabout is fair play.

Dude was implied to be the god of Anger/ Battle under Kirby. He has beaten Darkseid before, the cartoons have never done him justice.

I'd argue against 'trashed,' every time they've fought Superman would barely win.

Orion's about as physically strong as Darkseid and if anything a little tougher. He doesn't have Darkseid's Omega mastery, but that never works against Superman anyway.

He does however have a Motherbox which… can basically do anything the writer wants. Honestly we're having a Powerman conversation at this point. Point I think anons are trying to make is:

Wonderwoman would be a hard fight for Orion, but she's not a real threat to him.

For those sick of Power Man discussions, stop reading
The only JL member that could take him out would be Superman and whoever's as powerful as Superman this week, but that's not a guarantee.

Orion's motherbox would help negate Superman's super speed advantage by predicting his movements and enhancing Orion's own reactions. Superman's strength is about equal to Orion's. They're about as tough as each other. Superman's biggest advantage is flight and he can take out Orion's harness all things being equal. However, his heat vision wouldn't put Orion down, as powerful as it is, Orion's about as tough as Darkseid, he'd tank it and in his current incarnation heat vision strong enough to scratch Orion or Darkseid drains Superman hard. So, the fight would have to come down to fisticuffs and Orion's just the better fighter. He's been fighting and training hundreds of millennia to eventually fight Darkseid in the Fourth World's version of Ragnarok whereas Supes is permanently 30-something.

The reason Orion might win where Darkseid rarely does, is that Darkseid disdains physical combat in most of his incarnations. Darkseid prefers to use his Omega beams to wipe away dumbasses challenging him. When he fights someone capable of tanking the Beams, he's certainly adept, but it's strange to him. Orion, on the other hand, is obsessive about fighting and his preparation for the Final Battle. Hand-to-Hand, Orion's probably better than Darkseid.

It's not a guarantee that Orion would win, Superman has a lot of tools that would make the fight practically unwinnable if the circumstances were right. But Orion's powerful enough to beat him in a straight fight.

Nah, the reason he would win is because Orion wouldn't have his Motherbox would calm him down; Superman would get the shit kicked out of him by a Pissed off, well-trained Darkseid-kid.

I said it before, Superman needs a consistent power level.
In one comic, he destroys (new 52) Doomsday by ripping him in half and burning the remains.
The next, he's getting his ass handed too him by a nobody.

As for Orion being the better fighter, I'd agree in the case of the New 52 Superman, but what about the pre-52 Superman, the one who was largely trained by Batman?
The older, experienced, and highly trained Superman could, I think, put down Orion much easier than the younger, New 52 Superman.

But as I said, Superman comics have a habit of giving the enemy of the week a serious powerboost with no explanation.

(checked)
Again, it all depends on the flavor of the week that they want to give Superman, in terms of powers.

Orion wouldn't have put down Doomsday anywhere near as fast as Superman did. Orion isn't the only one who gets stronger the more pissed off he gets.

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pre-nu52? No idea. I'd say Orion still has an edge in experience, but actual skill's a bit harder to judge there since 'was trained by Batman' means 'can suddenly take on Lady Shiva'. In a just world Orion would be the better fighter, but in the comic world Superman was trained by Batman.

I do enjoy Orion's battleboner

Could Barry beat Orion?

It wouldn't be like a "fight" fight, considering Orion can probably tank multiple infinite mass punches, so Flash would have to try something else. But I think he could easily build up enough speed before Orion could react, he could just steal speed from him and grab his mother box.

Do you have an example for this? If I remember correctly Shiva is still the best fighter after Richard Dragon.

Batman's beaten Shiva before

Of course, what I'm not sure about is how. Do you have an example? I'll bet Shiva gave up.

If Barry can't beat Orion, Wally definitely can.

Fucker took Flash's OP-ness and turned it up so much, he broke the dial.

Orion might just start using Astro-Force and destroy the battlefield completely, if he doesn't have Mother Box to calm him down.
Without the Astro-Harness, he might destroy the planet he's standing on. Even Wally Sue usually needed something to run ON.
Most of Orion's "weapons" are just designed to hold him back. The guy is a walking doomsday bomb.

Was Destroyer Duck ever collected?

No, that was hyperbole. I was just making fun of what the writer would say if someone complained pre-nu52 Superman was on par as a fighter than someone who has fought and trained for hundreds of thousands of years.

Depends

As this user said: (nice trips btw) Orion's got some stuff that's just broken as Hell. Not 'sees events faster than an attosecond' broken, but it's to the point that Flash's best option would be taking out Orion's Boom Tube and dropping him off in another dimension.

I think if Flash was going full lethal he could beat Orion. He'd just phase inside his chest and crush his heart ala Thawne.

Orion would have to get his hands on Barry to stop him from pulling some really broken shit. I know it's fast, but the Astro-Harness can't keep up with a speedster, can it?

Is the attosecond still a thing?

1) Mother Box
2) Orion's a god. Even if Flash could just phase inside his chest and crush his heart, who's to say this would necessarily stop Orion?

He could get the mother box from him.

What if he just vibrated him apart then?

It means you stop being rude to her or she'll rip your balls off.