Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur Storytime

I wasn't actually sure this would tie into the old Kirby stuff at all. Any chance you can story time some of that after?

It's true what they say; your lifestyle determines your deathstyle.

I guess someone realized they were NEVER going to make another comic with Moon Boy

I just might, actually.

So, why, in the Marvel Universe, is a kid who can make an actual, functional weird-shit-detector and collapsible roller skates built into sneakers, not being recruited by the FF or SHIELD or AIM's charter school?

Because racism is real.

Because those kids area dime a dozen.

I'm more wondering why Kree tech has the sound effect KREEEEE, that seems odd.

The cavemen are the only interesting part of this.
I wonder if there's a comic like that What If Conan comic that was storytimed where he was sent into 70s New York (I think it was New York) and did shit like get slapped by an old lady for having his asscheeks out.

If I wanted to see this shit, I'd just watch Iron Giant again. Because this is what this scene is a blatant rip-off of.

I know comics are full of fantasy, but come on.

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Okay… okay. Now I'm invested, well played.

Okay, that first page is pretty great

Am I the only one who kinda wants to fuck the bad monkey girl?

I'm so sorry Jack. I'm just glad you're not alive to see this.

No, she's hot.
But I realized in pic related she's making that fucking Green Arrow face.

No. I just didn't want to say it.

Is it sad that the more interesting characters are actually the monkey men and not the main character?

Am I the only one interested in the fact that the people of the Marvel Universe shun mutants, but the MOMENT the chance to become an Inhuman opens up, people are jumping all over it? It really fits in with the overall characterization that people in the MU are mostly jealous shits, and of course the modern idea of playing identity politics to be a special snowflake. It's honestly a good progression for how normal people in the Marvel universe are portrayed… it's a world full of dicks.

That's a good point.

For some reason the cavemen have learned English so well that they are now using it to converse with each other rather than their native tongue that was clearly a complete language, considering it was translated when we saw that piece from the past where they were yelling at Moon Boy.

Also, I'm pretty sure they're gonna gang-rape her.

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Well, she is fighitng monkeys.

Uh-oh, her parents are victim-blaming her!

Also, not only does this girl not understand the scientific definition of a 'theory,' but she also responds to her teacher with an outdated theory about combustion used in the 1600s. No wonder she keeps getting rejected from all those schools.

These Killer Folk are pretty lovable scamps!

The language thing really makes no sense. If the writers wanted us to understand what the monkey-people were saying, they could just it.

OH! She doesn't want the gift of being an inhuman… I wonder why not.

These pages are so bad that I don't even know where to begin with it.

Oh, shit, I fucked up for that last file. Sorry. Ignore it.

I'm curious as to why this school seems to lack a fucking plan for fire. The fire didn't start in the classroom, it started in the bathroom. Why are they apparently stuck? No goddamn sense at all.

What are those girls doing with the matches? Making the smell of their farts go away?

kek

Wait… Wasn't Hulk dead?… also, Isn't this Hulk too talkative?

RACIAL PROFILING

Other Hulk. See the Civil War II thread for the latest Hulk issue.

This incredibly cringeworthy Hulk has a point, and yet I feel like the writer intended for us to go 'yeah, what a jerk!' when all he's trying to do is his job.
You think a genius would understand that a rampaging dinosaur that's killing people and wrecking the city's infrastructure would need to be, uh, 'handled.'

Wait a minute…

Man, this Hulk is REALLY cringeworthy.
Is this really supposed to be funny…?

The most interesting part of this comic is back!

What did the other gang expect, with a fucking pussy name like 'Yancy'?

I fucking love these Killer Folk.

Dammit.

That was a really bad Sailor Moon reference and I just knew they were gonna shoehorn it in there. I expect more.

Well, he is being a jerk, but only because the bad writing requires him to dismiss or ignore everything she's saying.

so she's gonna solve the city's problems with a calculator and an old cell phone taped to metal tabs screwed together? i will never question this girls' scientific prowess again

I can't seem to find issue 5, the one that's supposed to come after this. It skips right to 6.
I think I just might want to stop here, with how bad this thing clearly is.
Though I do wanna see more of the Killer Folk

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Ugh, men.

He's the eighth smartest person on Earth. He's aware that trolling is a art.

Yeah, I was wondering about that.

… theory does not mean hypothesis. Get off reddit.

So they're shitting on Kirby now?

She wants to be a smartass, her response of why things combust is an ancient theory.

You could argue that the majority of modern books are shitting on Kirby.

Wait a second, I don't know anything about Devil Dinosaur but surely if he can be threatened by ape-men with crude spears then surely a couple of pistol bullets at close range should be able to penetrate? And why does the girl think a rampaging dinosaur understands English? So much for being smarter than everyone.

Honestly the ape-men are really smart being able to work out the concept of clothes, learn broken English and use the two to pass undetected in the middle of a city is legitimately impressive for a bunch of people who have basically no frame of reference for just about anything they'd find in a modern city.

So wait, she can invent a Kree detector but finding an object she's already found using the device but this time underwater is beyond her? Also, are her parents not going to give a shit about the fact that her inventions are the kind of thing that could probably win her a scholarship she kept polishing them up? Sure social skills are important but being able to do comic book mad science at 9 is pretty good as far as future academic potential is concerned. Kind of odd how the police don't bring her in to talk about the whole dinsoaur rampage she's being blamed for though.

For a girl bitching about how Cho is being inefficient… How exactly did she think she could keep a giant red dinosaur in the first place? Especially given it probably eats a ton, capes are being called in to hunt it down and it leaves a trail of destruction anywhere it goes?

Honestly they should have had Moon-Boy pass his mantle on to some ape-girl in his own time period and kept it there, I don't see what exact niche a "9 years old but really mature!" genius with a T-Rex fills in a universe full of people who can do the exact same things but better (both in terms of intelligence and brute force). Either they emphasise her intelligence (and render the dinosaur a moot point) or they have the dinsosaur solve all the problems (in which case who cares how smart she allegedly is?) Having her just be a smart cave-girl (as in tactical style "you wait here, I make fire, scare bad-people to you!") would have at least let her be able to do smart things that compliment the dino without having to pull supertech out her arse so she can claim to be on par with Stark or some shit (see: I really need the Kree device so I can solve a problem no-one else has been able to! Why won't anyone belive 9 year old me!).

I mean the other alternative would be to just have the Killer Folk the protagonists but that could actually be fun.

Weeeeell…

Yes, I'm a fa/tg/uy

Hey guys, I've found issue 5 and I'm willing to torture myself some more!
Here we go!

This will give me time to figure out my Killer Folk girl request for the next drawthread.

This feels as if the original writer pitched a reboot to Clifford the Big Red Dog to Marvel, and this is what they were stuck with instead.

Why can't the entire comic just revolve around the Killer Folk?

Oh, look, they even made a Clifford reference.
Also, I dunno why these guards are using a stun gun on the poor thing if this cage is apparently unbreakable.
Which it should have been, if Tony Stark made it.

The prehistoric vixen has a name!

That's the end of this issue.

The learned language AND protection rackets very quickly.

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I don't understand any of this shit.
Like… Clearly the Killer Folk know something bad is happening. So why are they getting painted like badguys?

Killer Folk, Stone to riches story would actually be cool.

How did she know the dinosaur is called Devil Dinosaur, by the way?

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Still don't know what she was planning to prevent.
Like, honestly. How was a dinosaur gonna tell her to change her genes? Just because 'MUH EVOLUTION'? It's not like we evolved from dinosaurs.

So, what's she gonna hatch into?
A monkey?

You know, She could have avoided it if she stayed in her home.

You'd think it'd be trackable. Like they'd be able to predict when a cloud is coming and warn the population.

Actually yeah, Why isn't there a super meteorologist there are like a billion weather themed villains and heroes..

So, I got my bet that she will transform into a monkey girl.

She'll turn into the moon and crash into the Earth.

Isn't it kind of racist (or whatever you'd call it) to assume that if you're inhuman that you'd turn into a scaley freak?

There's a pretentious name if ever I've heard one.

She reminds me of Ahmed the clock boy.

I hope she gets beat up during recess.

In these panels, Captain Planet's son looks up Moon Girl for whatever reason!
I have a hard time believing she's 100% on intelligence.

She can hack into an unplugged monitor, and hack it while not pressing anything, also I guess 100% intelligence is ok when you have 0.

Niggers can do anything user.

Also, lazy writing, she was transformed into an inhuman only so this character that is basically the same than her could track her.

It's never even explained why this dinosaur has such an attachment to her.

Fucking sloppy writing is why.

Well, probably because it was the only monkey it saw other than the killer folk

Couldn't even get a couple extra panels describing how this kid turned his skin the right color to pass as a human.

Or sloppy writing.
It's ok, you can enjoy sloppy writing.

You know what jokes are?

Turns out her power is to change minds with a dinosaur.
Ah… Nice. That'll be helpful. If she wasn't just a dumb 9-year-old with a tiny body, or if T-rexes didn't have tiny arms.

Eugh, you're the person who storytimed Mockingbird, aren't you?
We're doing this to mock it and show how comics are dead, not because we enjoy piles of crap like you do.
Also it was a joke about black people being monkeys that flew over your head.

All of her weight is on this kid's body, and he's not even flinching. Must be made of steel.

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>When I was your age, I trained to be proud Kree warrior, in the snow! We didn't sit around and jacking it to these Earth vidcom cartoons!

>It's called anime, dad.

Isn't the fact she's got the Inhuman gene something that her school would know? Given there was that cloud that would activate the gene the other day and she's acting weird, you think they'd put two and two together.

WHY IS IT ZIM NOW? Worse than that, this Kree kid will steal time from Killer Folk.

He can't be BECAUSE THAT WAS ME!
We can't properly complain about anything unless it's been storytimed, and enjoying shitting things as a group is good community building.

I made a thing.

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Niiice.

Next you'll ask when she, known to be a little black girl who hangs out with the red dinosaur when it arrived, isn't connected to several weeks of being a not even disguised little black girl with a RED DINOSAUR. I guess if anyone followed up on obvious leads the story couldn't happen, but a lot of stuff is just going to not make sense to get from point A to point B.

FUCK YEAH, LEGOS!

Teacher is pretty good at her Jojo posing.

Hulk might get tired of having to go and make the dinosaur job itself once more.

And somehow, with all this, they're still letting the girl continue school as if she isn't a menace.

True enough. Still, it's so easy to point out how many issues there are with the story. I can't believe this kind of shit gets published.

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Shoulda just had him eat him. Come on, Moon Girl.

Mandark doesn't look so good without his glasses.

Clearly the artist was rushing to finish before the deadline.

Calling it, Eduardo is a DIRTY SKRULL, that's why he's upset about a Kree in town.

Oh, look, we're getting another guest appearance by another shitty superhero! Can't wait to see how cringey this will be…
But too bad! We're up to date now, at least until this piece of shit gets cancelled.

If the kids can tell that she's Moon Girl, why don't the police, teachers, parents, etc DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? Are they just playing it cool, hoping she'll get it out of her system?

I mean, if NO ONE put two and two together, I'd just believe her disguise worked for no reason, and accept it. But if one person can see her plainly in the paper, everyone else can, too!

Well, he can tell she is moongirl because his super high tech sensors told him that.

Obviously everyone else is blind as a bat.

And here I thought Ms Muslim was still stuck in that "oh my GAWD being a hero is HAAAARD" rookie stage.

Now she's suddenly a pro who lectures other newbies? That just seems jarring.

…Where the fuck are the killer folk?

Seriously, they are the best!

Well, she probably figures she can at least talk down to a 9 year old.

I bet if this series lasts long enough, Lunella will discover that her amazing brain is the result of having Inhuman genes, that she was Inhuman all along, and learn to accept who she really is. #inhumanandproud

I like the premise. I think it's cool the adventures of a little girl and a dinosaur. I could read this new series, maybe it's good in the end.

But, if i must choose, of course i would use my time to read the original series by Kirby, in which a monkey boy and his dinosaur do shits in this random parallel universe.

What put me off from this new comic is that it don't have the craziness of the original. Too much slice of life shit,, that school thing going on and etc. Fuck that, they need to go crazy. You already put a fucking dinosaur as a protagonist, the comic should go all out.

I think that's part of why I like the Killer Folk parts so much, it doesn't seem afraid to be completely absurd. With the Devil Dinosaur parts you just feel that it could be WAY more insane. Like a few touches are nice, like the selfie stick guy out the window, but you want more than a few smashed police cars and mailboxes. Kirby never backed down, if he wanted a story to be crazy, it was FUCKING CRAZY.

So, seriously, do they have a deal with Lego for this? Cause that's a two page spread about Legos. I also like it shows a lot of the awesome technic pieces that you would use to build something impressive… but directly in front of her is basically a retard castle that she's adding a tire to. Good thing she just wants to be the best her ever, because I don't think she'd fair well in direct competition with other kids.

It's universe canon that the celestials experimented on ancient human ancestors. So in 616 humans did not "naturally" evolve.

Seriously, why can't we have a comic about the Killer Folk starting a criminal empire instead of one about some 9 year old crying that no-one appreciates how smart she is while using the goofiest gadgets possible.

Man, the police aren't even trying are they?

I do kind of like the idea behind Captain Kree though. It's probably been done better somewhere else but some alien coming to Earth so he can make himself into a great big mighty superhero despite being a complete loser could be fairly fun.

They were to cool a concept for the comic and thus had to be removed before they made it interesting.

You know, it occurred to me.
I've seen stupid SJW articles claiming she's the smartest character in the Marvel universe in canon, but ignoring the fact that she's stupid enough to say shit like 'evolution isn't a theory!!' and how all she does is make stupid gadgets…
She's not even smart enough to get ahead. She's in the proper grade for her age. And she bitches because it's too slow for her and she doesn't learn anything. But if she was so damn smart, she should be able to ace all her classes and get up to a proper grade for her skill level.

The fact she doesn't is proof that she's just full of crap.

Well at least we a few neat pages of comic book out of this mess. That's better than most.

Hell, they couldn't find Godzilla in New York.
And don't get me started on Q, the Winged Serpent.

Godzilla knows how to hide from the fuzz if he needs to.

So, i looked up this series in Comichron and it went from almost 39k sales to 12k.
Wasnt the cancellation number 20k? Jesus, its like Marvel is deliberately keepung shit series afloat.

Also, why is her power to switch places with DD? Isnt that too convenient? Imagine if they never met, who would she change places with?

It's possible she can switch with anyone she has a pretty good emotional connection with… but she seems to be a little shit kid who hates everyone. So her only real emotional attachment is Devil Dinosaur.

I always hear how shit Marvel books are doing, do they have anything that is doing really good from issue to issue (that isn't an event)?

Why is Ms Muslim making a kissy face in that second page?