So I ordered this doll online and put a Jesse Jane fleshlight inside it and I've been fucking it for a couple of weeks...

So I ordered this doll online and put a Jesse Jane fleshlight inside it and I've been fucking it for a couple of weeks mom found it what do I do she's talking on the phone and crying I'm 28 years old

kiss your mother on the lips

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Tell her you're on crack

kiss your fleshlight baby on the lips

Tell her it's a prank for your friend's youtube channel, she'll believe

just say you were being ironic, she'll believe you

kiss your sister on the lips

Okay, OP, the best you can do is admit you have a "problem", get "help" and fake being "cured" until they get off your back. Try harder not to get caught in the future, or learn how to talk your way out of it. Normies just don't get these kind of things.

tell her that what you're doing is completely natural and jesus told you it's totally fine in one of your dreams

Buy a new doll.

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Tell her "It's just a prank bro!"

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Tell her it's an art project, you stupid fuck. Make up some shit about how it expresses your feelings about capitalism. She's begging God for any excuse to disbelieve this, so give her one.

Here, I'll do it for you, this shit isn't hard.

"It symbolizes how the system we laughably refer to as the free market forces us all to prostitute ourselves from birth."

Christ, how can you be this far down the rabbit hole and have no idea how to bullshit your way out of trouble?

kill yourself

Tell her it was joke gift.

Run, OP

This guy gets it.

Agreed.

Tell her it's "Performance art" like Spirit Cooking.

Worst you will get is an exorcism. Might meet a cute fundie girl with one of those long denim skirts. Best case scenario you make friends with the Podestas.

kill yourself

get real serious and yell "at least i'm not a cuck!"

Ask her if she wants a turn.

pics or gtfo

Stale pasta.

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OP, do not do

, unless it is a last or close to last resort. Your best bet is begging, if she was always the forgiving type.

kek.

I would do something like what

said.
order extra ones, and go harder with the symbolism thing. Even if you were already confronted about it by the time you order new stuff, she might eventually buy it. The first baby was alone to see/test how it would look, or if it would fit. Order communist or other political symbols. Show her some of the political boards here.
Maybe hug her in the end as she is crying.
Do not act scared, eyebrows raised, eyes wide open, exagerated movement, yelling, tongue sucking. Be confident, sure, kinda casual.

she caught me with the hand in the cookiejar

time to take your cyanide pill

I wanna see pics of you fucking it please so I can fap. Thank you in advance

Say you were giving to your friend as a joke. If that fails, get another one with a dildo attached to it. If she doesn't want it, say you found it on the street. If she doesn't buy that, you are boned.

good fucking going

Say that your dad gave Jane to you. You dun goofed

Step 1: Tie up your mother to your bed
Step 2: Have a threesome with your mother and the doll
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit

OP, give us pics with a timestamp. Many lulz can be had from your ignominy

You are the reason why Holla Forums wants to literally kill degenerates.

Tell her if she tells anyone you'll do it to a real baby

Hey op, you into scat? If you are, I recommend this doll.

Why do you think it is that only whites really get into this kind of degeneracy?

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Say it reminded you of chubby women.
If she is wondering why, you are a chubby chaser, and show her you chubby pics.


If he is not married and lives in a good area, there is nothing wrong withh living with one's parents.