Failed normalfag stories

Gavin Reyes
Gavin Reyes

Be me
virgin, neet, betafag me
Decide to turn my life around
Everyone I sak tells me the best thing I can do is join the army
I know I'm not capable of being a soldier but fuck it
sign up for the army
score very high on IQ test, part autism part luck
they place me in some sort of super secret intelligence sector because of IQ score
dad is a veteran and works in the airforce so he's super proud
tells me the intel soldiers recieve the hardest and longest training
ohfug.jpg
give me 10 months before I go in
spend 10 months working out and preparing like crazy
time comes and I'm so motivated and hyped
the 2 first days consisted of traveling and waiting
when I arrive at the base it's -30 C and snowing
after first week I realize how bad of a decition this was
everyone there was either chad or some hardass veteran
I couldn't even carry my backpack without falling over since I was so weak
had to constantly rely on help from squadmates to acomplish anything and they hated me for being such a bitch
they stole my shit and gave me the worst bed
couldn't even make friends with the guys in my room
spend most of our time off alone since everyone just ran off doing shit without me knowing
after 3 weeks I beg my sergant to get me out of here
after the 4th week I'm on my way home to my comfy house on the countryside
now I'm back to being NEET and have been for almost a year
kinda wanna kill myself but it's so comfy

Chase Carter
Chase Carter

Submit to the comfy. Enjoy your NEET life while you can.

Jayden Bailey
Jayden Bailey

tfw 19 year old virgin NEET

Sebastian Roberts
Sebastian Roberts

spend 10 months working out
I couldn't even carry my backpack without falling over since I was so weak
wat

Henry Williams
Henry Williams

Use the comfy, the comfy is all there is.

I'm 36 and I just became a NEET with no gf. the only way. last time I was NEET gf wanted all my time and my zinc. Now I am doing it right. At least a month left, plenty of games and food.

after sneering at NEETs for years while I worked hard and made other people money now I understand it all. I can live a life of just moo, masturbation and trolling. feels pretty good man.

Landon Jenkins
Landon Jenkins

Being a quitter sucks, buddy. If you no longer wish to be depressed, get some lsd, mdma, weed and get laid. Then start something new and try not to quit again.

Jacob Davis
Jacob Davis

be me, 22 year old kv, but have some friends
get invited to a party by friends
the music is loud and terrible, i don't know anyone, they only have cheese and onion crips which I don't like
my friend who gave me a lift gets drunk even though he told me he wouldn't and would drive me home when we got bored
I'm going to have to stay there until he sobers up
realise the only people I know there are all horribly drunk and barely capable of talking to me
somehow manage to get into a conversation with some people I don't know who look cool
use all my powers to convince them I am normal throughout the conversation and avoid saying anything about myself, but inevitably this can't last forever
one of them makes a comment about my nearby drunk ass friend, so I jump on the bandwagon and join in, hoping to keep them off the scent of me being weird
drunk friend clearly hears me and I feel terrible
at this point I realise couples are starting to break off and go upstairs
panic
it's just me and 3 other people talking now, and two of them are girls
oh shit, unless one of them is a lesbian shit might happen I think to myself
fast forwards about 20 mins and I'm in the bathroom with a solid 6/10 who is taking my hoodie off me and saying nasty porno shit
I'm wearing a tight black vest underneath, she sees it and gives me a weird look and stops talking
she says I look like I'm in a shit boyband in my vest and I try to laugh it off
she asks me to leave and I think she's joking, until she gets a vibrator out of her bag and shouts fuck off at me
try to sleep on the floor among my drunk friends until morning but don't sleep
it takes my friend until about 1pm to sober up enough to drive and every minute was agony for me

But hey, at least I'm just a V now and not a full KV…

Brody Garcia
Brody Garcia

be 25
never invited to party

be 23
co worker asks me if I'm going to the boat party
what party
never mind

I've just convinced myself at this point there's no point in going to a party without ulterior motives and I have none

Ian Sanders
Ian Sanders

that had to be a pretty ugly vest

pic please

Aiden Rogers
Aiden Rogers

every party in the history of mankind was organized by someone who wanted to fuck someone they were inviting

I thought everyone knew that

Juan Clark
Juan Clark

threw it away shortly after this believe it or not

Jaxson Reed
Jaxson Reed

I didn't but that makes sense. I haven't felt lust in a long time.

Jason Torres
Jason Torres

OP you sound like a massive bitch. Anyone who actually worked out for 10months would have no problem with the training. You failed yourself by not preparing. Now you are home and everyone knows you are a loser who can't even make it in the Army where they accept practically anyone.

Jack Bennett
Jack Bennett

virgin 22 y/o
decide to go out for once
go to party were I barely know anyone
just sit there and try to be normal as night goes by
like 6 people left
this 5' 9/10 blonde starts dancing alone while everyone is talking to eachother
after dancing for a while she comes up to me and asks me if I wanna dance
"I can't dance, sorry"
"come on it will be fun" she tries to pull me out of my chair but I just freeze and try to leaugh it off
she stops trying to pull me and sits next to me and puts her hand on my shouøder
tells me I have a nice sweater
"Thanks, you too"
looks at me weird
she wasn't wearing a sweater
I panic and leave party
walk almost an hour in freezing weather to get home

How do I stop losing my spaghetti evertime a girl talks to me?
I really don't understand why my brain wont stop doing this shit

Anthony Brown
Anthony Brown

who would win: that guy or CM Punk?

Daniel Martinez
Daniel Martinez

on the train
it's busy and an asian guy I don't know is sitting next to me
keeps doing weird shit like taking his wallet out of his pocket, then taking each card out one after the other and putting it back, looking up the definitions of random words on an I-pad and leaning forwards to look out of the window (I'm in the window seat)
I keep turning the volume up on my music to let him know I really don't want to talk to him
The Smiths song "There is a light that never goes out" comes on on my phone, guy snorts really loudly, looks straight at me and says "you gotta be kidding me"
starts telling me that if I wanted him to talk to me I could initiate the conversation, and that I was being childish playing the "500 days of summer game" with him
I have no idea what is going on and look around the train to catch someone's eye and get them to help me with this nutter
Tell him I don't know what he means and try to ignore him
he tells me I'm an idiot and he has a girlfriend anyway and goes to sit somewhere else
some woman near me starts telling me that I shouldn't mess with guys like that and that I should be careful
I still have literally no idea to this day what the fuck was going on

Adrian Bell
Adrian Bell

that guy is a boxer, CM punk is an old ass actor

no contest

Cooper Bell
Cooper Bell

first ask yourself, do you actually want intimacy with a female, and all that that would entail

Nathan Kelly
Nathan Kelly

be me
get on bus because fuck it
on me i have my sweater for the evening and a chicken breast sandwich
all is well
chilling, eating my sandwich
bus stops at station
suddenly notice my high school crush getting on board
oh shit wat do
flight or fight response activated
instinctively go for flight like an authentic Frenchmen during ww2
start furiously eating my chicken breast sandwich
she decides to sit in the front of the bus
thankgod.jpeg
contemplate what to do next, meanwhile still eating my sandwich
finish eating one stop before i get off
god damn that's one big sandwich
decide i must talk to her
walk to the front of the bus
just_like_in_all_my_romantic_novels.mp3
about to engage her
suddenly feel something trickle down my leg
oh no
forgot i packed carbs as well
spaghetti sunday
container somehow got open
it's literally fucking everywhere
don't know what to do
start trying to clean it all up with my sweater
notfuckingworking.wam
can feel everyone's gaze on the back of my neck
see my entire life flashing before me
so_this_is_how_it_all_ends.system32
bus doors suddenly open
pounce out of there like a cheetah on fucking steroids

Juan Martinez
Juan Martinez

even Jim made it into the army, op.
perhaps you should start an image board we could all migrate to. i don't know about your dad, but i'd be proud of you. and grateful.

John Allen
John Allen

How do I stop losing my spaghetti evertime a girl talks to me
Easy, through practice.

The more attractive a girl is, the more intimidating they are to you, and the easier you lose your shit and fuck everything up, right?

Think of it like driving a car. Your first time driving wasn't in a fucking lamborghini, and if someone offered to let you drive their lambo for your first time driving, you'd probably psyche yourself out, be scared shitless, and wreck the damn thing.

Work your way up. Start off by talking to ugly girls. You don't have to fuck them, just befriend them.

Then work onto 6/10 girls, and try to fuck one of these.

Once you've fucked a 6/10, trying to fuck a 9/10 is way easier.

Elijah Cruz
Elijah Cruz

more brie gifs you homosexuals

Liam Jones
Liam Jones

10 months working out
Too weak for fucking boot camp which is mostly cardio
Jesus Christ faggot, you got one of the cushiest faggot POG jobs possible and couldn't tough it out for another seven weeks? If I were you father I'd kill myself.

Jeremiah Campbell
Jeremiah Campbell

I worked out so hard. Not sure why I couldnt carry my backpack.

Austin Wright
Austin Wright

What did you do specifically? How heavy was the back-pack?

Ian Foster
Ian Foster

I, too, am a lot more interested in figuring out what was so problematic about this backpack than I am about spaghetti stories.

Ian Parker
Ian Parker

It's really not that heavy, I have no idea what his issue could possibly be with it. OP must be a Jewboy.

Luis Garcia
Luis Garcia

social anxiety. the guy felt nervous sitting next to you, hence he was distracting himself by looking around for an escape (out the window, at his ipad, etc.). He finally gave in to his fight-or-flight, fought back verbally against you for a bit, then retreated to somewhere else.

Tyler Carter
Tyler Carter

fast forwards about 20 mins and I'm in the bathroom with a solid 6/10 who is taking my hoodie off me and saying nasty porno shit
I'm wearing a tight black vest underneath, she sees it and gives me a weird look and stops talking
she says I look like I'm in a shit boyband in my vest and I try to laugh it off

she was the one out of line user. men have the right to say no to sex and male rape happens too.

Justin Brooks
Justin Brooks

I was exactly like you mate, but one day I told my doctors I was gonna kill myself, get sent to hospital.

Fast forward 1 year, and I'm all better. Medication and groups at these mental hospitals did wonders for me.

Easton Allen
Easton Allen

shouøder
Beta swedecuck detected. Next time ask her how getting creampied by rapefugees last night was.

Chase Miller
Chase Miller

What happened exactly after you told the doctors you want to an hero? Go into details, I want to know what will hapen if i do that too.
anything for neetbux

Alexander Myers
Alexander Myers

so you mean you tried so hard but in the end it doesn't even matter?
tells me I have a nice sweater
she wasn't wearing a sweater
She was going to steal it from you tbh

Carson Cooper
Carson Cooper

be shut in neet for the longest time parent's fault to be honest witchu
parents say i'm either going to school again or to the streets
take some "are you as knowledgeable as a highschooler?" test or some shit and pass
basically passed highschool without ever attending to it
get in university
after first week people are talking about a party to get used to each other or some shit
by the first week i already made a group of 3 friends, all autists like myself
biggest group of friends i ever had because it was normally 0
so we're having our autistic conversation and one says "what if we fucking go to that party?"
due to our crippling social anxiety and autism we decide we'll all come in at once and stay close to each other
we basically become a military grade automated anti-pussy defense system in that party
be in the university dance thing
harlem shake starts playing
this was when i was starting to loosen up and i was dancing with another dude
this autistic shit is just my thing
grab a girl and hold her up sideways
start lifting her up and down and jumping
meanwhile she's screaming at me but my crippling autism won't stop
turn around and accidentally her head on a table
she passes out and later on gets brian damage
nobody told on me because while we were all on the legal drinking age (18 in my country) we had weed and the campus doesn't allow alcohol and it meant a bunch of people going to jail or having issues with police and everyone being expelled

Parker Turner
Parker Turner

She told me Friday that she was sick but was feeling better so hopefully she would be up for hanging out, later on turns out she wasn't and said she had just been laying in bed, I think she passed out a few hours ago

I don't wanna seem pushy (first date was monday, I've been trying to arrange shit since then but first it was an incoming exam so she had to study, now its sickness), but I really wanna do this thing already because I'm afraid she will lose interest if too much time passes

Should I text her tomorrow (today, saturday) and try to arrange to grab food and shit, and if so, how do I word it? Ask her if she feels better? (already asked her on Friday that's how I knew she didn't) Ask her if she passed out last night "did you pass out lol"

etc

What do?

Andrew Ward
Andrew Ward

party used to each other
user, don't eat words, they make you fat.

Gavin Gomez
Gavin Gomez

ctrl f "party used to each other"
only result is your post
what are you even on about fatty?

Easton Martin
Easton Martin

Did you have a stroke or something? That isn't what he typed

Anthony Torres
Anthony Torres

Fuck me, I just skimmed his post and when I saw
talking about a party to get used to each other
I fucked up and read it wrong.
pls no bully

Nicholas Hughes
Nicholas Hughes

I just get fucked up and parties like borderline blackout drunk as long as i can until I do. Sometimes it works out great at parties and love how fucked you get and some parties they ban your ass for being too much.
I basically just get so fucked up i dont even care chicks wanna fuck you if you seem to not care.
They sit by you and start talking and im fucked up so idk what im saying and then we eventually furck

Christian Kelly
Christian Kelly

stop eating so much

Robert Thompson
Robert Thompson

post a picture of yourself

Luke Torres
Luke Torres

That is the point I don't get either. How can you train 10 months and not being able to carry your backpack? What kind of training did he do? Two cottonballs on a toothpick?

Charles Hall
Charles Hall

be me
move into my moms friends apartment
she has a daughter
she calls me cute and Says we should hang
don't even hangout with her
gets the point where we don't even talk
mfw I could've been balls deep all the time
mfw I found out I was a beta

David Jenkins
David Jenkins

be 25, NEET white male
wake up at like 10PM
check bank account online to make sure my NEETbux are in
browse dank memes and porn, watch movies and porn, play vidya and vidya porn, and argue with other NEET gentlemen all day every day for the whole month
repeat
only go out to shop for essentials, maybe see a movie or eat out now and again with the family, doctor appointments, and every couple of years to reiterate that, yes, i am still crippled and clinically depressed so i can keep getting the bux
planning on doing this until reality hits me or i die
so comfy :)

Disable AdBlock to view this page

Disable AdBlock to view this page

Confirm your age

This website may contain content of an adult nature. If you are under the age of 18, if such content offends you or if it is illegal to view such content in your community, please EXIT.

Enter Exit

About Privacy

We use cookies to personalize content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyze our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our advertising and analytics partners.

Accept Exit