Questionable Malcontent - Deep Doggy Dreams Edition

Sven's door is right next to the stairs, about 10 feet behind her. I think she just walked in when this happened, but no one in their right mind continues to face away from the door while it's opening.

And I'm really, really sorry for it for some reason I can't articulate. And somehow this brief lapse of judgment is far worse than you psychologically terrorizing that beta for several years and living rent-free in his house to this day.

Sven is a man, duh.

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It's derived from Shelby, but it's not Shelby. This is the original.

lesbian robomance

Am I alone in having thought that her hair was one solid piece?

I also thought that this was kind of cute.

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You're not crazy *in this instance. Jeph spontaneously changed her hair in 3086.

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I like how you worked in a bear pun to make fun of that last comic.

Order something else you fat fuck

OK which one of you guys did this

It pleases me to no end that this woman is reduced to working at batting cages

Does she really have an actual job now? And in something like maintenance?

underrated post

I don't remember. Why are they hugging?

I'd like to think but she was probably just a patron interfering with the equipment. Perfectly in character. And I bet the roach wasn't actually dead.

I just looked up her age and she's still in her 20s. Shit, I thought she was like 35 two years ago. I know some homely looking 35 year old women with kids who are overweight and in bad shape that look better. She's going to be Dwarkinesque by the time she's actually 35.

Menstro was there when Faye needed her blah blah.

9/10, almost perfect.

To be fair, i can understand people not ordering and just leaving if the thing they want isn't available.

Like, if you only cheat meal like once a month you will generally want that one thing and not "waste" the cheat on something else.

Not that that would apply to handstab, who is a whiner who is only whining for the sake of whining.

Oh, that's fine, too! Order something else or leave. But no. Jeph tortures the waitress with the sad puppy dog look, like there's something she can do to fix the waffle maker.

He should be more successful with it, considering he gets to see it every day.

The waitress is probably in his suitcase.

Jeph deserved to get robbed.

How long till she gets shitcanned for making her employers look bad for retweets

Doesn't Jeph realise that one of the highest demographics suffering from fistulas is rape victims? He's making a mockery of the suffering of women by using it as a prop for comedy about his own trivial sufferings.

Check your privilege, Jeph.

Is he back from his trip to France, or did this happen while overseas?

Both. He was burglarized while overseas. If the car lacked "structural damage" then it probably means he left the door unlocked. The alternative is that he lucked into a courteous thief with the skills and equipment to slim jim or inflatable bag his way into the car. For $15.

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Daily dose of nothing

Nice bread-shaped speech bubble.

I think it's supposed to show her imitating Menstro's speech or something. Retardedly.

He probably never had the $15 in the first place, or he spent it on Starbucks or something prior to leaving on his trip and then forgot about it. Now he's come back and is wondering 'where's muh 15 bux' while forgetting the grande frappucino he had before boarding his plane.

To be somewhat fair to Handstab, I've done the same in the past. Spent money, forgot I spent the money, then been puzzled as to where my money has gone.

How does someone break into a car without external damage and then damage upholstery? This sounds like prep for an insurance scam.

Oh yeah just remembered this.

Did we know changing eye color chick's name was Cedna?

Why is Blue Marten prostrating himself to Pale Dora again? I know it's "his fault" the nanomachines were stolen, but why? Speaking of which, what's going on? What's the plot? Who are these people?

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I don't get it.

Pretty sure it's a reference to "sealioning".

Having given up on Paetron fraud, Jeph takes the old-fashioned approach.

It's Blue QC in not-space. I don't even fucking know.

As if I needed more reasins to hate them.

I always liked this comic because while it's trying to portray the sea lion as unreasonable, the opposite happens. Can you imagine the difference in tone and rhetoric if the 19th century lass said something like, "I don't mind most people. But niggers? I could do without niggers." And then an affable black man shows up and simply requests they justify this position. And the whole "marginalization" argument doesn't even fly. How is a fucking sea lion "privileged"? The things are endangered.

It's much like how Mary from DoA and Sven from QC end up being sympathetic, despite their authors trying their hardest at making them villains.

That dude has a habit of making me sympathize with his strawman

And the holdouts are immortal. The brunette who sleeps in the nude around mixed company hoards advanced weaponry as a casual hobby and then fires hundreds of rounds as if she can get more at the corner store. In a world where people manually till the land, gunpowder is extremely valuable. It might as well be gold or clean water where there isn't any.

Even in his hard sci-fi world, Jeph just can't resist making the aristocratic ivory tower elites the good guys. Yet he fancies himself a voice for the marginalized.

Jeph is regularly guilty of being the bigoted lass in the sealion comic. He'll post on Twitter, "Person X is a piece of shit garbage human" and then follow up with "anyone who questions my opinion gets the ban hammer". Jeph has at least 81,400 followers and routinely has posts with 50 retweets and 300 likes. Those figures don't count (((screencap))) retweets. His posts are going to be seen. Jeph is a public figure and so are some of the retweeters. His overall reach is probably in the hundreds of thousands. He's more of a public figure than most mayors and congressmen. Yet he acts like he's some rando with 5 followers who gets harassed by mean spirited passersby when he both has a large reach and starts the fights he gets involved in. No self awareness with these people.

In my experience, the vast majority of strawman characters made by SJWs come off as perfectly normal, well adjusted people, which I find says more about the author than the people the author is railing against.

Also in DoA there's Joyce's family. Every one of them are even tempered, rational, considerate, and tolerant yet they're the enemy. Meanwhile Joyce is unhinged, accusatory, almost violent–all this for really no good reason–and she's the hero and everyone who doesn't enable her brattiness is a bigot. She really needs to be slapped, not listened to.

Also how the tranny acts like a childish asshole, but anyone who dares stand up to him gets reamed by the main cast.

FUCK YOU JEPH, YOU DON'T GET TO ENJOY THINGS I ENJOY and just because the Oglaf lady said something about GG being harassment in 2014 doesn't mean she's on "your side", jeph

I don't understand why the SJW/aGG circlejerk is constantly rotating terrible pun display names on their twitters, but I assume it's a goon thing.

if Jeph weren't so goddamn lazy, there might be a place to hide some lasagna.

and isn't this a workshop? shouldn't the walls have some texture to them? at least some random wires and pipes? flaking paint, stains, grime, shelves or racks for tools, etc.

Indeed it is like, fuck.

They're in the shop, but I think this is the private room Menstro rests in, so there's a plug and literally nothing else.

How about Faye's hair?

Goons are the jews of the internet.

no, Jews contribute to society.

Pissing into the well so that the water you drew earlier becomes more valuable isn't a contribution, user.

Granted, the goons don't bother to draw water first, so there isn't really a question of intelligence here.

Goons are SJWs now? I'm out of touch. I know Lowtax has jumped the shark. It's embarrassing. The guy who introduced Gen X cynicism to the Internet in bulk now spends his days complaining about toxic Gen X cynicism on Twitter. It'd be like Jeph complaining about the number of progressive webcomics that also feature indie music references.

Lowtax constantly mentions his wife, probably no coincidence. She's probably reading his tweets so he has to throw the world under the bus to have any chance of scoring. And I think he's only been married to this one for a year.

And what is it with these people and crippling tax problems? At least Kyanka picked the right handle.

the answer to any question about goons is eve online.

Didn't they get completely trashed a few months ago? I remember hearing something about some bigass war that was basically goonswarm and their allies against literally everyone else.

isn't that eve online at all times?

Now? A bunch of them became internet maoists to troll Ron Paul fans, half the forum consists of pedophile trannies on autismbux and the whole Weird Twitter subculture they spawned harassed anybody who wasn't sufficiently leftist enough for them for nearly a decade.
Did you sleep under some mountain and is your name Friedrich Barbarossa?

Eventually it turned into literally everyone against Goonswarm after their leader threw a gargantuan hissyfit about how he didn't get any input on what the war was called (he wanted it to be named something favorable to goons to cast themselves as the good guys of this whole thing) and they began repeatedly backstabbing close allies. Last I checked was months ago and they had lost their power-base and all influence over the game then.

WHY THE FUCK DOES A MURDERBOT HAVE HAIR THAT SHE CAN STYLE?

second job in times of peace?

I've been out of touch for years, so, yeah, I basically have been asleep under some mountain. SA doesn't even seem to be a thing anymore. What's the last thing I can remember…Deal With It? Not the meme exactly but I recall some sort of exodus or community split around that time. That was years ago, before Ron Paul even.

I struggle to remember the place exists. The creation of 4chan and Lowtax in his 20s getting his ass kicked by the world's worst movie director in his 40s basically sealed the deal on SA. It's always been annoyingly cultish, basically a "everybody is your personal army" place, but I've missed the evolution of the hivemind interest.

SA was the shit in 1999, though, and wasn't really unseated until the rise of Holla Forums in the mid-2000s. Once in a while I'll stumble across some goon subforum, basically their equivalents of Holla Forums, and they're all better than the main site. Or I guess more accurately they're more reminiscent of the SA glory days of the early 2000s.

Everybody with a contrary opinion got banned, SA is a ghost town.

And yeah, Lowtax spends 90% of his waking hours metaphorically sucking Future Ex-Wife #2's toes

(the rest of the time, of course, is spent literally sucking them)

Well, if we follow the only logical reason for an active combat murderbot to have a curvy feminine chassis, then it makes sense that it would also have hair that you can take a fistful of and hang on to.

Jeph doesn't realize that his "oh, she has hair like a real girl" frivolity is good evidence that Menstro's secondary function was as a sexbot for horny soldiers on the front lines.

SA in general hasn't been relevant since it was dethroned by Holla Forums with all of its good members either filtering onto chans or fucking off from it entirely since all their buddies were leaving or getting banned for objecting to the new mod cult. Nowadays its entire userbase is people who suck mod dick constantly and people who weren't around for SA's glory-days but either pretend those days are still here or pine for them.

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jeph wants every edit to be a loss edit

Is jeph going to pretend that they have lungs to go with their blushulators?

And what the fuck is up with this pacing? This has to be one of his most jarring transitions to date.

Can Jeph get any lazier?

yes.

That's like asking if the sun can get any brighter. The answer is yes, but if it does then there are catastrophic implications.

Well those speedlines aren't even centered right so he already did

Is this a noteworthy achievement? We thought he was being lazy, but discovered that we were overestimating his work ethic at first glance. Is having complete mastery of a craft still admirable when the craft is being lazy at work?

Is Jeph the real life Wally? Is that why he tried to bully Scott Adams on Twitter?

The more I type, the more it makes sense, and I don't like it.

No. Wally is an actually likable human being.

Goddammit, we both named our jigglypuffs pigglyjuff.

mine shall henceforth be known as pistachio.

What's with this guy's punches? They all look so weak and static.

Lack of motion lines, I think.

Fucked up anatomy, flattened perspective and wonky physics.

Wally is also much smarter than Jeph, although that's not too much of an accomplishment either.

His idea of character posing is fucking terrible and he couldn't draw physicality to save his goddamn life.

Look at those punches. 90% of the time the elbows is locked in or the stance means there would be no weight to the blow.

This is super painful to me because I just read through most of Baki the grappler so I'm fresh from seeing GOOD fights where the characters have a physicality to them and damage is more than just a couple of scuff lines.

I mean shit look at that second panel punch in the first image. Blood flies out the nose but there's none there in the next panel and the nose is still the same shape. If this comic were good that bitch would have two streaks of blood running down to the torso and wouldn't even be able to open one of her eyes properly after that first hit.

How to height difference? In any event, punching upwards isn't really a winning strategy. Better be prepared to kidney shot or gore your opponent or something if she's like two feet taller than you or can float or whatever.

I'll bet Jeph bragged on Twitter about how cool this fight scene looked, really giving value to his Patrons.

Wally is triggering because Scott Adams drew him and he is evil subhuman garbage fart poop doo-doo head.

Is it bad that I wouldn't be surprised to see this sort of childish name calling on his feed?

Jeph will retweet this if you send it to him. It's hilarious by the way.

It's funny that a primitive 8-bit game from almost 30 years ago accomplishes better action shots than Jeph can with his $3k Wacom tablets and 13 years professional illustration experience.

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now I'm hungry and disgusted

You cunning devil

I think so, I'm too lazy to check the archive right now
guilt, she got sick on his vacation so he feels bad even though he didn't make her come along
other nanomachines, fired a laser at the moon with her body, this killed the nanomachines because reasons
Those are the archaeologists, who are supposed to find a rocket so that the immortals can strap the space tourists onto it and shoot them into space because having them die in any number of horrific ways from amateur rocketry is better than killing the blue one before he starts a technological renaissance.

Because he can't draw weight and doesn't understand anatomy. This is why Life Drawing is important.

I'm also still confused about how a woman who has lived probably most of her life using nanobots instead of her actual muscles to transport herself and interact with the world can punch someone hard enough to make him bleed. I would expect her muscles to have dwindled to nothing by now. I'm surprised she's even strong enough to stand upright.

Gitfag here. Should I add a repo for AG edits as well? Should I put them under their own folder in the Edits repo? Or should I not file them at all?

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So, is the original editfag ded or he just quit?

He quit and died.

Quit for sure. No idea if he died.
I hope not. Didn't he say he'd lurk sometimes?

That's why we have to say he died, to get him to prove otherwise.

WTF, the only good block is the 4th one

"I do not have the autonomic response package that governs ticklishness."
Well, why the fuck not? You have everything else.

Forgot

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Don't forget also has scent-based synesthesia for some reason.

Wait, isn't her outer chassis below the neck supposed to be an outer layer of armor or something? Even if she did "have the autonomic response package that governs ticklishness" wouldn't she be unable to feel it through the armor?
Also, bets on her chassis looking like a naked woman under that outer layer? Can anyone really argue anymore that she wasn't used as a comfort woman in the military?

He quit life

Why is Menstro getting fatter

Faye apparently contracted a fattening virus, which is contagious. So contagious, it even affects silicons.

Or perhaps Jeph likes fatties.

Seems legit

Everyone knows that a protruding stomach is most conductive to having a six pack.

This mad old German bugger somehow manages to have a huge gut and a six-pack.
All I can think is that all his fat is visceral, like, under the muscle?

That dude's got to be a lifter, or else he does a lot of manual labor. That looks like the gut of a man whose back is immune to weight-related injuries.

Okay, so a bit of research says that a few things can cause this.

1: If the abdominal muscles are fuckhuge, it's possible to still have them show through a thick layer of fat. This is common with weightlifters and high impact sportsmen.

2: Eating large amounts of food constantly will cause your stomach and intestines to be swolen with food all the time, so they push the abdominal muscles forward.

3: Large deposits of visceral fat surrounding the organs. This is usually a genetic thing, if I understood the article correctly, but can be caused by steroid use as well.

So, we were on track, but none of this would explain it's presence on a robot, though.

Not only this , but his characters usually punch exclusively with their arms. The power of a punch is generated by the core of the body, the glutes, quads, obliques, and so on. A punch is a full body motion. the whole body twists and really the arm is mostly going along for the ride. You generate some extra power through extension using your triceps, but the arm alone is weak and really couldn't do much more than annoy a person.

This is something I drew for a friend once. I'm not a great artist, but you get the idea.

actually now that I look at that again it's not as good an example as I remembered. I should have had her body twisting more.

Still better than Handstab's though.

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How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way.
Sometimes ya just gotta go with the classics.

If you'll allow animoo, Baki has some great punches.

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Extra cheesy.

Counterpoint, just because she works on robots all day doesnt mean she knows how a robot she never worked on should work.

Maybe she's supposed to be a slinky based on previous experience.

Not gonna lie, belly aside I think Menstro has been kind of cute for the past couple of pages. She really deserves so much better than Faye. And Jeph.

Baki is insane. And there's no other Shonen where a GF gets cockblocked that hard.

is there any good reasonably viewable lewd OC of Momo? particularly any that would imply she is doing a cam-show or easily be 'shopped into that sort of thing.

I require this for very specific reasons.

We batted around the idea that Momo was using Sam to do a cam show to pay off her self-imposed debt to Marigold. This idea was supported by the fact that she is capable of doing a 24 hour live stream with her eyes as cameras, most of her glances at Sam are centered on her breasts and ass, she spends a lot of private moments with Sam, and how she once sat up all night staring at Sam for no discernable reason.

For the sake of letting my creativity flow, here's some ideas

Nooooooooo…

They were in the wrong place at the wrong time and accidentally fell to earth. Jeph will try to push them as the everyman in his story because the special ones are the immortal cunts.

But I put some good ideas out, right?

I agree, but because it's good, it won't be what Jeph has in mind. It's just as likely that his "start in the middle and drop context clues" approach is just a way for him to cover up the fact that he has no plan, no story, and a very poor idea as to what his characters are about.

Here's what I got in my Momo porn file.

I wasn't writing for what jeph might write, I was writing for what he should write.

it's not Momo fingering herself or using a vibrator, but it'll do.

A written list of things Jeph should do would mummify the sun and still have enough left to make a six part series about self harm.

Adding to that list is one of the reasons for this thread to exist, so go nuts.

When does the Pokemon references stop

They never will thanks to Go and Sun/Moon

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Again with the schedule shock. Now that she's off her rhythm and being pulled into R'në's, she's changing her everyday surroundings (a freebie thanks to the fire) and controling her diet.

I bet the next step will be to force her to socialize with R'në's friends exclusively, and to make sure she doesn't go anywhere without permission. Then the perfectly reasonable suggestions start.

hmmm
HMMMM
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
for those unaware, AM makes the main gang of No Mouth walk through his hellish landscape, surviving a brutally cold climax and an encounter with a storm hawk that blows them around only to find that the cans of peaches he promised them were in fact there, but they lacked the can opening materials, so they journeyed 13 or so pages for absolutely nothing, because AM is the smartest computer ever with the capacity only to fuck with 4 guys and 1 girl.

So you're saying that they will get to the store only to find that the stash of dayold pastries have already been eaten?

It all turned out alright because the author dedicated 100 pages to Baki losing his virginity.
With x-ray cutaways and detailed notes on neurochemistry.

S U C C
U
C
C

They will be molded and too crusty to eat enjoyably, like that fruit benny tries eating in the computer game version before he gives it to the woman to feed him.

What have you done to me?

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Yes, please.

well both of you grils have muffin tops, so.

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The eye crust is a nice touch.

It's become a tradition at this point. Anytime jeph puts a window in a strip, someone has to be looking through it when we're done with it.

I rolled for my first [Two Friggn Days] comic and managed to get a comic that took place during the real Two Friggn Days when Dora hooked up with Marten after Faye smashed his little beta heart.

D# A# D# C# D# A# A C# D#

This is some good shit.

What's the backstory behind it? (the two friggin days meme)

Comic's posted weekdays only, no new material to edit on Saturdays and Sundays.

Work of art.

I forgot that we'd come up with so many memes specific to these general threads. And yet you managed to crowbar most of them in!

That's pretty impressive for a webcomic (usually it's three updates a week at the most)

Not when the art is mediocre/downright awful and the script-writing non-existent (i.e. completely made up on the fly by a hack who can't write).

>Faye confronts Dora and yells at her because it only took Two Friggin Days for her to swoop in and snatch him up
After that is when Faye hooks up with Sven for no good reason and Marten/Dora are a couple for a long time.

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He missed an important one though.

Wow,an unexpected masterpiece. It's a meme explosion. You've been here for a very long time.

Not impressive given the budget. Jeph likely clears $200k/yr, making these things valued at ~$500 a piece.

Companion material

XXXtra (that doesn't really have anything to do with QC but it's friggin' day two, depending on your time zone)

I'm getting triggered in my everyday life now. I can't even escape the cheesiness in my video games. Lasagna has been tainted in my mind forever.

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You actually posted it as a reply to something I said. I liked it so saved it and I also put it in the archive. gitgud.io/InfinityMalcontent/QMC_OC/blob/master/1462725323282.jpg

I'd bet real money that if you interviewed Jeph and asked him about memes he'd decry them as lowbrow and culturally irrelevant outside of seedy dark corners of the Internet. Meanwhile he depserately attempts to connect with a progressively younger audience with pop culture references like 14 days worth of lame Pokemon Go jokes and Blue Yeti microphone YouTuber shit. At this point even Jeph knows that lavishing praise on late-80s to early-90s alternative rock bands is a losing strategy but that's basically all he knows, which is why he's forcing the video game angles with X-Com and Overwatch.

On the contrary, this is actually a perfect counterpoint because it spans from 1994 to [current year] in ways that are meaningful to the original material, to the present, and to the QC. It's an actual lesson on how Jeph should approach humor.

It also demonstrates how Jeph should utilize panels. It's 18% smaller yet crams in so much more without sacrificing image fidelity.

he'd probably say something about "anime nazis", Trump, and those dang dirty gamergaters.

and something negative about Frank Cho's worth as a human being.

Do you think Frank Cho could make the QC girls attractive?

with his eyes shut and one hand tied behind his back (or stabbed and with the knife still embedded in it, or stabbed to his back), easy.

If I gave Cho 12 dollars, would he do it? I'd like to share it with Jeph and see if he tries stabbing his feet next.

Are we talking like an unfortunate ice-skating accident? He's still in Canada right?

it would probably look something like this

Or Emilu

Maybe?

That would be hilarious. Mostly because we might get to watch Frank lay the online smackdown on Jeph when he flips out over the "fan art".

Animu shit

>Actually going with the most predictable route that every other character has gone through and making her work at the coffeshop bakery
And here I thought that I couldn't feel anything other than apathy for QC anymore.

Wha…

Kiki did cleanup, but the circumstances and situation are so completely different that the request doesn't make any sense. Also, Jeph is subverting her "one track mind" difinitive character trait in order to pull off a l337 nerd joke.

Then again, Jeph is a surface-skimming fake fanboy, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

He's really doing this

Jeph is so predictable and unimaginative that a group of strangers teased the hypothetical future him for taking the most predictable and least creative option, only to wind up doing that exact thing.

Does this make him officially creatively bankrupt?

When she asked for a bow, I thought she meant the weapon.
I was actually more confused when she got the hair bow.

Me too, I thought it was going to be a "I can't work without access to a weapon" thing that would eventually segue into a past trauma that she feels the need to defend herself against.

Also fits in with established lore.

Man, that shotgun strip is so much better than the harpoon one. It's actually a funny visual punchline and Clit's reaction is actually believable. There's not even a joke in the revised one, it's just watered down completely into nothingness

Is it bad that my first thought was bow as in the action? Like a condescending way of making someone ask nicely.

Or maybe she can't stand the thought of working somewhere that isn't nautical-themed and demanded that a front half of a ship be present somewhere in the bakery

So we can agree that a Bow (and arrow), a bow (to show respect), a bow (of a ship), and a bow (from a stringed instrument) would all be better than a poorly placed bow from a 1989 movie that he probably watched for the first time last week?

(Brun can't tell the difference between a coffee shop and a bakery because she's A-U-T-I-S-T-I-C, so pls no bully)

Yes, can we also agree that this thread coming up with other bows is more amusing than anything Jeph has come up with in recent memory.

I swear to god, if I see that Drew one more fucking time…

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This one makes me giggle irrationality. It'll also be true if the Dora/Sam'sDad ship ever sets sail.

…You'll need about 12 hours, because there was a lot of cheese?

That's it. I'm going to stab Jeph in the hand now. I'll be back in 12 hours.

don't forget your harpoon

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? __CTHULHU__

For fuck's sake, that's a page ripped from the Seltzer & Freiberg playbook.

Friedberg

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I don't think Jeph will ever grasp the fact that indie jokes are indie because you have to be "in the know" to get them. As the writer of what was once an indie rock comedy webcomic, he ought to understand that a joke isn't a joke if you explain why it's funny, but just can't for some reason.

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You're just making the comic extra cheesy.

Even the zoom in on Clinton's horror is well done. Probably one of Jeph's best setups if you think about it.

You know, this illustrates why Jeph is so terrible as a writer. When imagery is essential to your punchline, it doesn't pay to use such an overloaded word. Ribbon is slightly better, but, really, talking about hairpieces prior to demanding one is probably necessary to make this joke work.

Jeph's having an identity crisis. Kiki's Delivery Service is an 80s thing. He thinks it might still be relevant but isn't sure so he plays it safe by explaining the joke.

For a second I thought Vicky wasn't wearing pants.

He also ought to understand that it's okay to leave a concealed landmine and not every joke/reference needs to be picked up by everyone reading.

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CONVERGENCE

Wow… In the short time she's appeared in the comic, Jeph's managed to make Broon fatter, uglier and remove all emotions.

Maybe the shotgun debacle actually did send him close to another stabbing-spree.

Technically 80s (Japanese theatrical release July 1989) but in predigital days nobody in the stateside Japanimation culture would have seen it until the 90s.

Holy shit, that made me laugh. Well done.

Yo.

WAY O
HOM VA RAY
YO WAY RA
JERHUME BRUNNEN-G

Themed omit, love it.

I can't believe I got that reference. What's the average age in this thread? 40?

We need to stop the hipster vermin from stealing our comfy ghibli movies.

Step it up, son.

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God, it's a thing now.

JEPH YOU BASTARD I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE MOVIE IN YEARS AND EVEN I REMEMBER SHE SWEPT UP THE APARTMENT AND NOT THE BAKERY

So Clint is gonna get cucked by that Big Guy, right?

who's this fucking chad

TOO BAD BITCH

Fixed it.

Love you guys.

I'll be back again when you need me most.

>Woman he doesn't know is wearing a headpiece that belongs to a child he does know
Just because you have everyone in your comic get the reference doesn't mean that the reference makes an ounce of sense.

I didn't think of Brun as a spinner, but I guess everything's relative.

If they do, we might get to see his collection of modular "for her pleasure" hand replacements.

(minor adustment)

You know, I'm okay with this.

You're both marvelous, thanks for the laughs.

It really didn't seem like she'd be this autistic when she was at the bar.
Maybe the untold story is that she breathed in a lot of smoke and this is her, permanently brain damaged.

Pretty sure that's Elliott, one of the other employees at the bakery who had a crush on Padma but did absolutely nothing to stop Marten from fucking her. I don't recall him being that much of a giant, though. Maybe Renee and IPP are just womanlets?
Also, IPP is now in full-on Kiki cosplay, including a dress she didn't have back at Renee's, which likely means Jim gave it her to wear, and that it's supposed to be Sam's. So apparently not only did IPP change in the back of the store (probably in full view of Jim and/or Renee), but also a mid-20's chubby woman can fit into a dress made for a relatively skinny 13-year old.

If you look at you can see tgat the thing she changed into and put a coat on over is the same color. She planned on being offered a job and a perfectly proportioned ribbon when she left the house.

Personally, I like your version better. High level autists tend to lack the boundaries of social norms, so changing in full view of strangets is totally believable.

STOP. FUCKING. DIRECTLY. NAMING. WHAT. YOU. ARE REFERENCING. YOU. UGLY. SACK. OF. HIPSTER. SHIT.

GOD.

Did anyone else look at the thumbnail and immediately think tumblr nose?

I go away for two weeks to take a fat russian shit and come back to this.
The only thing that stops me from going up to his door and sticking a trench spade into it is the fact that I'll need to haul ass to embassy for about a week to get the canadian visa.

Jeph should draw them with Charlie Brown legs.

What did they mean by this?

fuck you
fuck you and fuck your stupid inability to save a font.

Don't you love how Jeph makes blushes by just using a low opacity round brush on Ps and putting the one spot on the guy's face?

Now now, being fit isn't the only thing to being a Chad, there is a chance he could be a Dennis.

The fuck is a Dennis?

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The main character from a 2012 film (Teddy Bear) about a socially awkward/autistic 38 -year old virgin bodybuilder who lives with his mother that made that induced FEELS in half-/fit/ back in the day.

I just couldn't think of another name for AUTISTIC LIFTER.

It means we have to find the original bible.

My guess somewhere between 25-40.

it's going to be forever before jeph does a strip that is the perfect opportunity to give someone a ridiculous hat, isn't it.

I've forgotten how much of a faggot Mystery is. Thanks for the picture, user.

20-30 with more towards 20
nigga everyone knows lexx and those who don't deserve to die anyway

i'm not going to lie, the fight chronograph actually looks pretty cool in that movie.

Has anyone tried to dox Jeph?

What for?
Just ask him on twatter or something.
Pretend to be a big fan that wants to send him a present.

Why is he shoehorning this so much? was it on tv in canada recently? Is momo going to walk into the bakery next?

Why is Best Girl screaming?

If it was going to be an anime reference, I would have preferred a Piyo Piyo apron. She's got about as much in common with Kyoko as with Kiki anyway.

But then his tumblrinas wouldn't be able to smugly tell each other about how clever they are for knowing what the reference is.

He's right. Tumblr needs to be able to go "BUT SERIOUSLY, DO YOU GUYS REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THIS REFERENCE IS???" while another makes a pun, and then a third one goes "did you just".

Panel 2 is very suggestive.

I would have thought an out-of-print Maison Ikkoku would be far more hipster than Disney Presents Studio Ghibli readily available in all Barnes and Noble stores.

The point isn't to be hipster, though. It's to give the appearance of being hipster while singing their own praises.

What's up with his schizo transitions lately?

Yeah, wonder how Mystery got so many dates. Could it be because he's tall (6'5" lol), thin, decent looking, and extroverted? I wonder how well negging would have worked for him if he were a 50 year old short fat bald man with no money and awkward personality. Oh and he was basically a local celebrity with his magician work and appeared on Toronto television before the VH1 show so he was recognizable and high status as well. Hell, even without the schtick he could probably get dates just by sitting around.

Nothing against doing that, but PUA snake oil pretends all you need to do is show up to bars, tell women that they're shitheads, [middle part], and then you wake up next to them.

Fuck panel 2, motherfucking panel 6.

I actually think this is really cute
Panel 2 kind of looks like she's making a metaphorical statement about her masturbation sessions as of late while sitting in front of a German flag.

So I guess Jeph's abandoned Alice Grove after struggling to put out 151 strips over slightly less than two years.

well, time fore someone to shop a dick into that mouth

No wonder, he's clearly been dragging things out even beyond its horrible pacing ever since what's her name lost her space magic. Guess he can't figure out what to do once they go up into space.

LOL, the chaos it'd be if QC were to be inserted into the Fist of the Borf Star Universe. He's already added Steven Universe.

Is he starting a third comic!? He can't even handle his original creation.

Well, he does have a third comic, but the image is from the original Patreon, the one that launched Alice Grove.

dord.horse/

This is horrible, what kind of man could create something so painfully unfunny

I see edit potential for panel 6.

This joke worked better 40 years ago.

Yeah, this is just the Airplane "drinking problem" gag all over again, and Airplane did do it better. I wonder how many of Jeph's fans will get the reference/similarities when the thing being referenced isn't name-dropped on panel.
Unless Jeph didn't intend for it to be an Airplane ripoff, which would just show that he's a hack even when he's not trying to be.

Huh, this kind of rocks my world.

Choose one and only one.

I'm eating these Trader Joe's cheese-flavored corn snacks, and I have the orange cheese powder all over my fingers. Basically it's come down to eating fucking artisinal gourmet Cheetos, and there is absolutely nothing okay with that. It's like if somebody made craft sodas, except they fucking do. Could you imagine if somebody made craft Faygo? CONDUCTOR WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

...

Is this supposed to be a gamerfuel thread post?

How do you fuck up this bad?

No guts, no glory holes. Could you imagine needing a little action, and then the Cloverfield Monster over here starts slobbering all over you?

I'm there. I'm broke wide open. I thought maybe getting off would help me calm down. I was thinking of QC when I came. I need help.

Editfag is that you? Did they let you out of the madhouse too soon?

We are all Editfags, my lady. Was it not your sin trapped the Unicorn? Even now, the evil seed of what you've done germinates within you.

Also, Jeph is so amazingly mediocre that sometimes, even when you've cleared out all of the dialogue and wiped the chalkboard and made many a place for lasagna, there is a stifling blandness that still lurks in the coffee shop with no customers (seriously when was the last time somebody showed up to be yelled at and purchase coffee? was it when Clit and his tranny sister showed up so Claire could try to force Clit and the tall Japanese girl together some more, which led to Brun of the Burning Bar?)

There are no customers. The entire coffee shop is an elaborate piece of performance art being enacted by brainwashed performers for the enjoyment of those who watch the hidden cam feed.

This is why the human characters rarely interact with non cast members. There are an increasing number of AI characters because the old main cast of humans are starting to break down under the strain of the brainwashing and need a firmer guiding hand. This is also why we're moving away from the old ones towards a fresher batch of victims actors. The old ones will get put on ice and only trotted out as often as they can tolerate.

There's a trapdoor under the entrance that opens under whoever's brain wave patterns don't match those of a complete imbecile. Afterwards the person becomes just another cup of coffee. The cream of the crop, ohh yeaaaaahhhh

Or the entire town has been warned by those few customers they ever had, spreading the word of this pot of arrogant, self-righteous, hipster, San Francisco cocksuckers and are now, rightly, avoiding the place like the fucking plague.

I like the soylent green approach more.
The question is, how the fuck are they still in business at this point?

So QC is basically The Truman Show

You're saying they riiiise to the top?

If they take the credit cards and bank info from every wallet they get from their deathtrap, they could be prerty well off.

OHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH

Snap in to a SLIM JIM

Cream of the crop.

10/10 reference. That really brings me back.

when you say "editfag" you don't mean the one who died for our sins a few months ago, do you?

He's probably just one of his many apostles, hallowed be his name.

Somehow, a disgruntled brown person with unkept hair is less cute than a smol grill.

who the fuck is rainbow dash

this may be a bit premature but it is absolutely friggin' topical and relevant.

Two pidgeys? you mean eight pidgey candies.

well, I found the customers.

...

To quote George Lucas, upon seeing his abortion that was Episode I for the first time:

It's perfect.

It's so dense; every single frame has so many things going on

Fucking hell, I found some older stuff that I missed when I was putting together the git.

Funny you should mention Peanuts…

lol, timecube. I wonder if Gene Ray is still alive.

Muffin cube

Jesus Christ, Emily's looking more and more like a robot - I thought she was supposed to be Dora at first.

She's turning into a giant. I mean, she was always tall but she was lanky. Jeph is (as ever) drawing her off-model today and she looks to be more filled-out in her physique.

See , this is how you know Jeph didn't make this. It's too cultured.

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Bravo Jeph now Dora looks like a slutty Emily instead of tranny marten

...

...

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Enjoy your nightmares

The whole comic genuinely has me in tears of laughter right now. Thank you.

I want to fuck Emily so bad.

Did anyone else think her t-shirt said "PORNO" at first?

...

man, having jeph abortion of art next to the pill goblin really highlights how much of a hack is Handstab. Just look at the lineart

The details make it even better:

Holy shit, that is some amazing incompetence.
Is there anywhere I can read more about this?

I read that as baked guinea pig.

Speaking of creativity, have some fart jokes.

No idea why that quoted.

that butterknife is going in somebody's hand, isn't it?

...

Why not both?

It's confirmed in Edit-canon that QC spans multiple universes. I want to believe that in at least one of those universes IPP a petite qt.

I need my fix man

I need my fix of brown girls in baggy pants

Joff Jerkoff's latest 'creative paradigm' seems to be POINTY TITTIES.

I can't stop looking gawd help

Jill Stein voter detected. Not surprised, frankly.

I like the fit legs. and bottom-heavy girls in general

Calm down, Hank. Here's what I can get you on short notice.

I can appreciate most varieties of breasts to some degree or another, but broad and fit hips/thighs do shameful things to my heart.

And I borked the joke spoiler. I really haven't been posting enough recently.

Broad hips and fit thighs may do shameful things to my heart, but they also cauae me to do shameful things to my dick.

...

Oh yeah, that's the shit right there…

pls no say the s word :/

I didn't think this was funny at first, but the more I look at it, the more I giggle. What have you done to me!?

Jeph breaks his two week Alice Grove hiatus to bring us a summary of the strips we just read and to introduce even more probably inconsequential characters.

not anymore. not since The Ritual.

That is a good face

In other news, I'm almost numb to Jeph's abortion-tier storytelling methodology.

It seems pointless to dwell, but….
What purpose does "two weeks earlier" serve? This comic has no concept of time and if it did, does it still matter?
Why does the lady tell us nothing more than what we already know? And it's not even a recap. It's quite literally the strips in the immediate past. This is strip 152 and the events referred to in the first panel took place in strip 133, not even 20 ago!
Carriage? WTF!
Are those buildings floating on water?
Is that Willis in the chair?

just remember, if you ever have a dream in which a beagle simultaneously prolapses and vomits in order to spray scalding-hot diarrhea/vomit to burn peoples' faces, and the prolapse looks like something out of Warhammer and/or Alien, you can blame Jeph.

same for someone Tubgirling while screaming "fuck me in my shit", and other assorted feces and vomit related horrors interspersed with Pokemon Go. now I have to learn meme magick in order to take revenge on ol' Handstab

At least we can tell from the randomly moving waistcoat the Jeph isn't copypasting this one.

Header for the next thread? Should I make the text bigger?

I don't think it would hurt.

How's this?

Works for me. The important thing is that it be legible in thr catalog thumbnail.

No. Bigger.

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We can go bigger

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Is this your final form?

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BIGGER I SAID

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I can almost see an acceptable amount of tranny. You're on the right track.

I was missing an ingredient.

The secret to any Questionable Content humor is always more knives.

New idea for two friggin' days edits, tactically insert knives into random strips or edit dialogue to be cutlery-related.

anyone got a tumblr? maybe this gril could be convinced to do lewd QC cosplay.

chelbunny.tumblr.com/

No

what are you, gay?

Pick one, please.

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Stop tainting the thread with your 3dpd lewds, pls.

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That's a nice dick

indeed, it is like fuck