Weirdest place you jerked off

share the weirdest places you've jerked off or busted a nut in

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Nasty, fish live on it you know

When I was 15 I jizzed in a school urinal because I have a slight piss fetish and was experiencing strong gay thoughts around that time. I was one gross little fag and still am today except I consider myself 95% straight now

In my old high schools library with a teachers coat

noyce

In a church choir stall

Both stories happened when i was in 8th grade around the age of 13.
Beginning of the school year at lunch one day a white trashy cute girl with huge tits for her age sat on my lap flirting with me so the rest of the day i had a partial boner i had to hide.
2nd to last class of the day i was sitting in a booth doing homework while the rest of the class was at the other end of the room so i started to think about her and started to rub my dick through my pants.
After about 20 minutes i blow a load in my boxers and just sat there for 10 minutes waiting for class to end.
Spent the last hour of that day skipping my next class and staying in the boys bathroom cleaning up and hiding.

Near the end of that school year on a monday at 3 in the morning i walked to the only school in my town which was an elemantary school.
I got to the tallest slide which was enclosed so nobody could see in and when i got to the top i got completly naked and set all my clothes up there.
Than i slid halfway down than stopped and started jerking off while fantasizing about "playing" with kids in there and them tasting my cum.
Came twice down the slide in about 45 minutes than crawled back to the top of the slide to get dressed and go home while laying in my bed thinking about the kids that are going to be playing in my cum within 6 hours.

Veterans assisted living home closet. There was this really hot chick volunteering with me wearing some pants that defined her ass.

In the bathroom at my old job, while taking a dump. I guess I was stressed that day.

How does the smell not kill all your ambition for jerking off?

I think I'd flushed by that point, I think. Either way the urge assumed control.

In a cave while giving a tour. Ran back to turn out the lights to give them a show of how dark it gets a mile underground, after I turned out the lights I jerked off.

Was you jerking off a part of the show?

probably one of the most memorable faps of my young life

brchan.org/p/res/1923.html#1929

Hey, I did this too. Feels awwwright.

onto my stepsister's back

In my sister's ass.

Fucking hell, I had a hobby of exploring abandoned buildings in the city and found one place that didn't have any graffiti on it at all. Felt really proud that I was probably the first person to find it. Place was immaculate but completely empty. Found one room that had a box of pornos and a single chair. Guessed some guy rented the whole building so that he could have a room to fap in peace. Had a decent fap to the pornos and blew my load onto the pages then closed it up and put it back into the bottom of the box.
Came back to that place about six times before someone else came in and started smashing things up. Shat in the fridge and closed it and left. Came back two years later to find the place really trashed but the poo was gone. No idea if someone had taken it and thrown it all over the place but couldn't smell anything so couldn't tell.

I jerkedy off while laying in bed once

In his bed once

what the fuck.

When I was on holiday at a hostel in Australia, I jerked off into the 3 girls' moisturisers and creams, and pissed in the box of wine everyone else was drinking.

Alternatively I jerked off on a plane into the girl in front of me's suncream

Worked really well.

...

we went a field trip once in the principles car, I was in the back seat pretending to be a sleep, remembered a really hot porno I watched the other day and jerked until I blew my load in the principles car and wiped around no one said anything so I think no one saw, there where 3 students and one other teacher in that car, that day was a good day.

sounds pretty alpha tbh

reviving good bread with the time I jerked off on the monkeyboard on an oil rig and came on the driller
was 10/10

In a tent next to my speeping cousins

Right behind door in the stairwell of a commercial high-rise. Someone ran into stairwell, hit me with door, so I ran away dick in hand

I am honestly more impressed than surprised.

A couple years ago I went to Neuschwanstein to do tourist stuff
I didn't really plan on it, but after seeing all the weird swan paraphernalia throughout the castle, I had to relieve the urge in my loins.

On random product at work. Still do it because its hilarious when someone complains about "Birdshit"

I used to cum into reflex paper and scrunch it up and throw it in the bin, then i used cum rags but it kept attracting ants and they would bite my dick

Wew

Basement of the NSA. In the bathroom.
I'm not even fucking kidding.

Various bathrooms, including aeroplane, high school, nursing home while visiting nan, worst was house of a friend who had commit suicide that morning
Suction hose of pool cleaning thing, not sure what it's called
In car, while driving at 110 kph, Ive done this nearly every trip between uni and home

FUCK YOU YOU DISGUSTING PEDO BURN IN HELL!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Sauce? For the porn, that is, not scrubs.

...

Two stories:

One, middle of class under the table, back row, while thinking about the hot chick I had a clear view of. That was 8th or 9th grade. And yes, it was to completion.

Two, when younger, 13ish, I routinely would "not want to go inside the store" when out with parents shopping. I'd stay in the van (full size with super dark tinted windows) and jerk it to thoughts of whatever girl at school was my favorite that week. Luckily there was always a supply of kleenexes.

I did that in college too… 4 hour trip, long stretches of road. Especially if I didnt stop to piss… full bladder just made it more intense… and if I didn't blow a load before I made it home I'd have to run inside, bust a nut, then take the piss I'd been holding