I Don't Exist

Colton Brooks
Colton Brooks

So I've pretty much lived in utter seclusion for the past two years since my last relationship ended. One of my mom's friends who runs the local Republican party asked me if I'd come work the polls. It's 140 bucks for a day's of basically saying "Take this form" and I could use the extra cash, so I said sure.

So I go sign up and realize my ID is expired, and I don't have my social security card. So I go to the social security department "You can't get an SSI card without a valid ID" so I go to the DMV "Your ID has been expired for more than two years (by five months exactly, had I gone five months ago this wouldn't be an issue) therefor your card is invalid and you have to go through the process as if you never had one."

So I need my ID to get a social security card, and my social security card to get my ID.

I inform the girl at the counter about this catch 22, and she says the only loophole is if I bring two doctor's notes and speak to a supervisor.

So I head over to my mom's, we go through some old records she has on me, I contact three doctors I've been to and get my records, and I go to a different DMV office.

"No no no, this isn't good enough." the girl tells me. See, here's where shit gets really murky.

I'm poor as fuck, the apartment I'm living at now officially does not exist. There is no mail delivered here. When I order a pizza I have to tell them to turn into the street and stop. It's a series of apartments built in front of a junkyard and behind a glass repair shop. I have no address. The girl I was with at the time found the place off of Craigslist. The people running it are really nice, I like going for walks through the junkyard, and my rent is 495 including all utilities and free internet, and they'll let me make any alterations to the interior I like.

So, I get my mail delivered to my mom's place, she technically lists me as living with her so she can file me as a dependent. The girl at the counter is now refusing ANYTHING medical. "But the last girl said…" "NO. Nothing medical. We don't take medical." "But I was told…" "NO MEDICAL. We now need your expired ID, your social security card, your birth certificate, and two proofs of residence." I go get the proofs of residence, but now the girl is saying they're not recent enough or invalid for other reasons, and demanding the birth certificate.

They give me a form to apply for my birth certificate, but it says right on it a valid ID will be required.

So I tell my mom I need to go back through the records and see if she has my birth certificate. I'm feeling humiliated because I'm having to go around claiming I still live with my mother. When I explain the circumstances she flies into a rage. She gets her records, her birth certificate and my father's and drags me back to the same office and has a huge argument with the supervisor there which is so loud the entire office is hearing it and she's dropping all sorts of completely irrelevant information that in all likelyhood is only making things worse. "I'm his mother, all my up to date records don't mean shit?" "You can see his face right on the fucking card!" "Illegals can come into this country and get whatever they want, and my son who's fourth generation American can't?" "My father was mayor of this town in the 1980's! He built this building!" "He's reclusive and disabled!"

The guy isn't budging. I go back to my mother's place and dig through box after box and find my birth certificate, and four more recent mail as proof of residence.

In one hour I'm going back to try for the fourth time to get proof I exist. I fucking hate bureaucracy.

Jason Brooks
Jason Brooks

fake your death

Landon Rivera
Landon Rivera

I've pretty much lived in utter seclusion for the past two years since my last relationship ended
I've had 6 years of this, and similiar things happened.

Hunter Thomas
Hunter Thomas

Pepe Silvia?

Jaxson Cooper
Jaxson Cooper

What is his involvement, I wonder?

Sebastian Parker
Sebastian Parker

Sounds frustrating as fuck. Local officials won't help much since these are all state offices you're dealing with. If you get stuck, call the office of your local state representative or assemblyman or whatever you have in your state. They or their office can often lean on bureaucrats to do their jobs in situations like this. Good luck, OP.

Nicholas Smith
Nicholas Smith

This, then go kill niggers by moonlight. You might just be the hero your town needs.

Caleb Jackson
Caleb Jackson

commitcrimescommitcrimescommitcrimescommitcrimescommitcrimes

No seriously, have a good plan and you could get away with shit. You're off the grid motherfucker. You're a glitch in the Matrix. A hero of the New World.

Julian Hill
Julian Hill

——–→ ←——- This Your a glitch in the matrix
I sympathize with your hatred of the bureaucracy. All I can say is to demand a concise readout of everything you need incuding what's "recent"

Christopher Collins
Christopher Collins

wanting to get back into the system

OP, use your newfound powers to fight against the bureaucracy.

Elijah Rogers
Elijah Rogers

Are you mexican?

Daniel Cruz
Daniel Cruz

THISTHISTHISTHISTHIS

Oh what some people would give to not exist. Imagine all the SHIT you can get away with as long as you don't get physically caught.

This is a SUPERPOWER, OP. Don't be a sodomite.

Nathan Davis
Nathan Davis

You did this to yourself, user.
Learn from this.
What's the lesson?

Owen Morgan
Owen Morgan

"Not existing is the coolest shit and I should abuse the living crap out of it"?

Thomas Reyes
Thomas Reyes

Generic DMV experience.

Seriously the DMV is what the entire nation will be if gommunism and marxist bullshit continues to grow.

Jose Wilson
Jose Wilson

Amen. Personally I give a lot of shit to kapitalism too but damn, better than no market at all for a service - never seen more lazy workers than officials.

Joshua Miller
Joshua Miller

close.

dont get so wrapped up with girls. they come and go. dont put things off, simply because it doesnt serve any purpose aside from ruining your day.

Gabriel Wright
Gabriel Wright

This.
Use what you've got. Live outside society, become a hitman and generally fuck around.
How can they arrest someone who doesn't exist?

Jackson Taylor
Jackson Taylor

this ^

Easton Fisher
Easton Fisher

Oh what some people would give to not exist. Imagine all the SHIT you can get away with as long as you don't get physically caught.

Never have to worry about child support
No fines (just don't get physically caught)
No taxes
No medical insurance (not entirely sure how this works in the US, but; show up sick at ER, must treat you, then bye bye suckers send my bill to Oblivion St 1?)

Eli Mitchell
Eli Mitchell

This is, without doubt, truly one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. I am not fucking joking when I say: you are genuinely stupid. I know people say stuff like this a lot on chans without proper evidence… but you have proven amply that you should be removed from the gene stock of humanity. I sincerely apologize to the Universe for your existence.

Ayden Thomas
Ayden Thomas

"HA-HA, TIME FOR ACCUSATIONS WITHOUT AN ARGUMENT FOR THEM!"

Jacob Sanders
Jacob Sanders

Poor show, dude.

Robert Rogers
Robert Rogers

You truly are anonymous, user.

Logan Campbell
Logan Campbell

I don't exist
So this means that someone could kill OP without any repercussions. You better be careful OP:

Gavin Price
Gavin Price

Here's what you do:
douse yourself in copious amounts of lube and food coloring
go to DMV and raise hell
maybe I mean definitely shit on a few desks while reciting mexicos national anthem
you don't exist
you can't be detained
everything you touch is gonna be stained
BECOME THE SLIPPERY TERROR FROM BEYOND THE VEIL

Luke Rogers
Luke Rogers

But that someone does not know that OP does not exist. OP looks just like us mortals.

Connor Sullivan
Connor Sullivan

I recently just starting stabbing humans IRL. for a fat minute i was just hitting on you sodomites here. I work almost everyday and spend all my free time alone. I used to be lonely, but then grew detached from needing humans beside me to live. I'm decently attractive, and my IQ is 148. I used to be a really sociable person. but every conversation I ever have had was lacking any amount of depth so I stopped trying. and as soon as I start poking other people, Shit hits the fan in my own personal life. every time.