How does one successfully rob a bank in the current year?

How does one successfully rob a bank in the current year?

Electronically
Become a 1337 h4xx0r

banks don't have enough money (in store) anymore to be worth the risk

check out GTA V for a good tutorial of the basics

Whatever you do don't train using Payday.

this. if you're willing to risk the consequences, the reward outweighs the risk if you become Anonymous Legion.

don't let your get away bike get stolen while you're pulling your heist

I'd imagine banks have pretty tight opsec. I ain't no console cowboy anyway.

You think it was the taxi guy who outed him or the motel staff?

oh shit Holla Forums robs the bank round 2

always hire the cheapest guys for your crew

Become a jew and be the bank.

Small time post offices.. here in UK I've seen some wi th no screen or shit, they are dumb opsec, but I'm not getting into any shit like this I'm not romanian..

how much money could a place like that have?

you don't.
you could only maybe get away with it somewhere that's a 3rd world shithole, but they have no money and if you get caught theyll just kill you. lots of crimes are basically impossible now.

If you think you're prepared, you haven't prepared enough. Take the time you'd think you'd need to prepare and triple it.

Have 3-4 (not counting your robbing outfit), stashed in several getaway cars. Change cars at least thrice while you are leaving.

It really should'nt matter unless you're pulling an inside job. If you're just going to go all Bonnie & Clyde, don't worry about this shit.

Tuesday-Thursday, anytime between open and 11 or 2 and 3. Most people hit the bank on their lunch breaks or after work.

Pedro will get you v& fast because it gives the teller time to trip the silent alarm. Go in hard and fast AND NEVER GO FOR THE VAULT!

Sometime with a large capacity and stopping power in case you have to deal with security or the random vigilante/good samaritan.

3-4 different cars places at random intervals. Change clothes during each car switch

Don't spend anything more than $500 in a week. Keep the cash hidden in a personal safe at a seperate location from which you live. ALWAYS HANDLE THE CASH WITH GLOVES! In fact, if you're not using gloves with everything associated with the heist, just give up now.

DON'T GO TO A CASINO! They watch that shit. Get a bunch of prepaid cards and cash them out at convenience store ATMs. Never cash out more than 2 at a time.

First of all, NEVER OPEN A BAG IN THE CAR! You should have a seperate outfit for opening bags. Any cash that is hit by the dye pack is fucked: Burn it. Goggles and a full-body suit is recommended, as well as plastic lining for the entire room which this is going to take place. Open one bag at a time. Burn all the plastic when done.

Bring a crowbar. If you get locked in by electronic/magnetic locks, you can usually pry the door open with a little elbow grease. If it turns out you can't, well, you're fucked. PS: Most bank front doors do not have mag-locks.

This is going to happen. If not during than immediately after. Hit the teller drawers and scoot. DON'T GO FOR THE VAULT!

3-4 man team max (including driver, who should NOT go inside). Quick in, quick out.

TL:DR ~ You're probably not ready.

Robbing a bank nowadays is actually extremely easy. I know there was a guy in my state who did it over 10 times and they never figured out who did it.

t. FBI

...

cmon user, do you even know how honeypotting works?

Go to hell. Go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200

is 8k worth the heat?

Get a job at the bank. Study and work hard. Learn about finance and predictive AI. Learn why's of each major stock market crash. Understand leverage. While you're doing all that suck up to your boss until you get his job.Keep working and learning. Hire a PI to get dirt on the board of directors. Then use your knowledge of the banks assets and leverage to blackmail and extort non-compliant board members, making you the CEO. At this point make large donations to the political parties in power. Go on vacation to Japan.

Dump 200 million dollars from bank coffers into accounts in Panama, the Caymans, and India, make a big bowtie of red tape around the chargeback systems. Then buy bitcoin, wash it, and retire early to a life of luxury with a harem of Japanese schoolgirls at your beck and call

look at it this way: you could make 8k by working two months in an honest job

You maybe can, but he probably can't. It takes connections to get a good job (and $4000 per month after taxes is a very good job)

You forgot, but make sure to have a couple of cards with printed words / sentences on them using a popular font.
Basic stuff, such as
If they get your voice recorded then it's gg you lose. I know the other comment said to bring people with you, but that's a bad plan, don't do that unless you have to.
More people, less money, more risk.
Last thing, but any vehicle you use should have no connection to you whatsoever.
Some people would steal them, obviously that makes for a lot of work. I recommend buying cars that run with no title or registration on Craigslist. Pay in cash or bitcoin if you can. Use gloves if you pay in cash, or tumble bitcoin if you pay with it. Make no impression on the seller. The less noteworthy you are, the better.
Before you go in set a timer on your watch, not phone, for 5 minutes. When it goes off, walk out. Doesn't matter how far you are through the heist, the police will be almost around the corner at this point.

The bottom packet of bills (20's, 50's, and/or 100's) sets off an alarm when removed.

Tellers are trained to do whatever the robber tells them to do. You don't need a weapon, and having one will extend your sentence when (not if) you get caught.

Forgot to mention, but also don't hurt anyone unless it is life or death. They will dedicate a lot more resources to a murder / bank robbery combination than just a bank robbery.
Also don't leave a calling card or reference that could tie you to multiple robberies.
Why go down for 5 heists when you could drop it down to 1?

the first rule of the successful criminal is never ever tell anybody anything. if only you know, only you know. so, er, oops?
Also, banks don't pay. you only get the surface tills - a few thousand bucks at best. look elsewhere for cash.

what, just go there with nothing in your hands and tell them to give you money?

Bring a hammer and a spark plug. A spark plug may break glass the hammer can't. Don't go out the door if there are windows you can leave from. Security is focused on the door.

Use ten small bags instead one large duffle. When you're out, put them all in other bags. One or more bundle of cash will have a dye pack. Alternatively make the teller spread out bills, and only take bills she has spread out. You'll get less for your time, but it avoids the whole dye pack thing.

I think he meant that you should imply that you have a gun, rather then show it.
Perhaps walk in with your finger gun out, such as pic attached.

If you're stupid enough to be robbing banks at all, do it without a weapon. Just say it's a robbery and they'll do what you say. Most of the time even security (inside the bank) won't try to stop you. In case they do you'll at least have the hammer you brought for breaking the window to get out. Having a gun does little to help your odds of success but adds enormously to the sentence.

Don't say you have a gun, but don't say you don't. Just say it's a robbery.

this is exactly how to spend a few years getting lessons from Tyrone.
If you set out to rob, don't let anything stand in your way. Nobody will give you money, so take it. Stick the barrel in their eye socket and make them shit their pants. Shoot your way out if you must.

Change the bags in a dark room with a dim light if you take packs of bills. Some are light activated.

Besides, they are all trained to shut up and comply. I could walk in with my cock out and pretend it's a weapon, and they would comply, in case you have an actual weapon.

I make 4000 per month after taxes.
I knew nobody in my field, didn't need a piece of paper from a college, and only had 1.5 years experience in a related field (which i got with 0 experience)

…and I have a criminal record.
Try harder scrubs.

Allow me to counter you anecdote with my own: I once applied for hundreds of jobs over the course of a year without getting one.

Perfect demonstration as to why anecdotal evidence is worthless.

ok, try that.
Tellers would give you the surface cash perhaps, but you'd need to have a convincing cock. Could you count on your howitzer of an asshole to cover your back against the off duty cop with a ,38 in his belt waiting in line behind you?
You need to terrify the people in the bank to the point where they fear for their lives. Were you raised by women?

This I can agree with.

Getting the shitty job that I needed before I could get the good job took hundreds of applications.

Once you have a shitty job related to a good job, it's an easy step up. Just need enough experience to put on a resume, and companies definitely prefer hiring employed people rather than unemployed people. (If you're unemployed, they wonder why you aren't employed. If you are employed, they get to feel like they're robbing a competitor's resources)

No, just people who know how to stay out of jail.

That's why you don't go in with guns blazing, idiot. No one needs to know there's a robbery in progress except the teller who is handing you the cash. (and of course the emergency response unit that's notified when she pushes the silent alarm as she takes out the money)

Better safe that sorry. It'd be a good idea to learn hand-to-hand combat, basic gun knowledge, and have a silent method of the buildings structure, and any vulnerable exploits, maybe there's a sewer tunnel under the bank. look over every possible outcome and find a way to patch it. always have an escape plan ready, and always be on your toes.
other than a basic ski mask, make sure you wear gloves and an easily flexible suit. it also might be a good idea to pretend to be a customer to get a feel of the place before the big robbery.
get a feel of how many people come and leave daily, and find a time with the less people around. also count how many guards, and, if needed, get everything off the manager AFTER working hours. maybe strike at his home perhaps? it also might be a good idea to make sure he doesn't blab about you.

Non rush hour, on a bank holiday or a day where it isn't as active. maybe during night.
Quiet. and don't try the vault door, that shits a pain in the ass. if you can, enter though a different side, like melting the metal from underneath. also might be a good idea the check if the shekel's are real, and their's money behind the counter. if you can, be an badass and appear out the vault with a loaded weapon of choice
alot.
something that is lightweight, and ammo-conserving if quiet. big bang if loud
multiple vans. one to exit the vault, and go around the corner to only have the police find 5 vans, all same brand and color with only 1 with the cash.
underground is best. maybe an access tunnel or an abandoned building
-Go into store with $20 note from bank
-Buy 20 cent item and pay with note
-$19.80 real change

have someone in the back of the van check the cash for you, and make sure he's trust worthy. the other van drivers will be pals.
avoid them if you have to. maybe you can melt the lock?
Bolt it. as said before, better safe than sorry.

have a couple people help you out, but make sure you and the ink trap guy is the only ones handling it. at the end, bring everyone to an abandoned warehouse full of fake money, and watch as the SWAT Team breaks though the windows, arresting you so called "pals" and you sit on your cash throne.

You lose, don't pass go, don't collect $200.
Yes, they really do this.
OP if you really want to get away with laundering, sell the bills on the deep web. People will assume they are counterfeit.

You want money. You don't try and fraud it out of ebay, you decide to take it by force from a bank. You don't have time to reason with the employees. There's no room for negotiation. The whole show depends on fear and subjugation. Give me the money now or , or look at my dick.

You can't just go robbing banks as a fucking job. That's too much heat for such a little thing. Soon the FBI will come and just wreck you.

Do 3 post offices instead. Much easier.

Take out a 2.5% 30-year mortgage

Stores only keep video for only a week then delete it.

Crash a plane into it.

Any information specific to Canadian banks?

conceal face
walk up to the counter and ask for 1s and 5s
use a bike or run/walk to get away (preparing a route would be best)
don't use the clothes or the bike again unless for next robbery.

They are trained to just give the money away instead of potentially risking their lives.

that's what pedro said. he's in jail.

The most you will get is 5K or 6K it's not worth the risk as most banks are now some form of "man trap" For example my bank has a set of double door in the lobby. Once the silent alarm is pressed. You can go through one set but not the other. Once the first doors closes its locks you in between.

he is mexican that doesn't count

bring knife for commit sudoku

not worth doing man. I work at CIBC. most banks work off of recyclers which only give $300 when robbed and record the serial numbers. cibc works off cash boxes but the tellers are limited to $3k readily accessible. that being said half of that is dye pac/recorded serial numbers.

Don't bother, you will only be able to get Canadian money, which has pictures of loons and beavers and shit on it. Is that even legal tender anywhere?

What is worth doing, then? Thank you, by the way.

Only at Tim Horton's and Trudeau's House of Glory Holes

tbh best thing is to go after the regulars in a bank. watch for people going in and out of banks daily with the same bag. they are usually couriers for businesses. strip clubs generate a stupid amount of cash that they deposit daily. not to mention they get cash for their bar floats/ cover charges. remember, once they're out of the bank the bank doesn't care.

So like waiters and barbers?

naw son, like pub and club owners. club owners especially on weekends that you could do a theme night (think like halloween or st. patty's day). university/college towns are probably best. also a lot of private ATM owners are cheap and will fill their own machines.

Really, if you're such a nigger that you're robbing a bank, you can hardly be considered successful at that point no matter what you do.

A bank is a really shit target, if you want to get a decent haul without dealing with time delay safes and panic buttons you should be hitting bookies at the local horse track.
The only downside is they are much more likely to hunt you down and kill you if you leave any clues.

...

Only thing I can say OP, wear hijabs.
Honestly, wear Muslim girls full mailbox outfits, they can't ask you to take em off, they disguise your appearance, and win or lose, they won't allow Muslims in the bank anymore.

lmao

what the fuck nigger. get your stupid shit not off reddit next time fag.

Run for public office.

user FOR SENATE 2018

This. Never say anything if you don't have to. A note is the best way and waring a jacket to conceal your firearm before going in is also a must. You don't necessairly have to wear a mask, but wearing fake beards, glasses, piercings, tattoos are all great ideas. Putting on a mask and entering a bank is fucking retarded and gives them more time to react. Also colored contact lenses are a genious idea.

What you're all forgetting though is police response time, you can either test it by triggering alarms at a nearby bank and wait to see how long it takes for them to react, or just go balls deep and not give a shit and try to beat the cops. If the cops get to the bank before you can leave, you're done.

What most people don't realize is that the police need a distraction, they need to be busy and backed up before you do something like this. My solution? Plan roadblocks on all of the streets between the nearest police station and connecting roads to the bank (excluding an obscure alley or road for fast escape) it doesn't even have to be too fancy, but it would require more men to employ. This is also of course for a big score, not just a small-time ATM bank but ones that do large transports of cash, ideally you would hit them as they're unloading it from their trucks.

Cause an oil spill
Steal or rent a truck/trailer and have it run out of gas or stall in the middle of the road
Cause a traffic accident or two
Have another guy rob a few gas stations/ghetto 7/11s first (or create falls anonymouse reports in a different area)

Hello FBI, I would and never have thought about robbing a bank before

Also forgot to mention, fuck with traffic lights

too many newfags aboot.