The Peculiar Case of Kim Saber

Hey Holla Forums, I came for your advice.

I recently switched majors to compsci but had to drop out of school and keep in mind that the semester started yesterday. About a month ago I got a message on my phone from a girl that goes to my school. The message read:

I recently dropped out of school due to autism and other health related issues, so I just ignored her message, but she persisted. Two days ago she sent me another message asking to meet, so I figured I'd go and meet her.

I can't say she's pretty but she has a nice body. She kinda reminds me of pic related, and as we all know a girl like that can be a natural treasure in the right hands. That's why I named her Kim for the purpose of this discussion. She also seems to be pretty smart; she plays the piano very well, she's a professional photographer, she's a teacher for math and physics in a gifted children school etc.

I'm going to meet her next week. She doesn't know it's a date, but it is. Now, Holla Forums, I am not sure how to speak and act in a fake date. I need help Holla Forums. What is the best course of action here?

tl;dr
I am going on a date with a girl but she doesn't know it's a date and need advice. I want to make it a memorable encounter.

See if you can get a 3sum with her and her hubby

she doesn't have one dick

kek

Binge drink alcohol several days ahead, that will make sure to make you charming and relax when the day comes to date her.

y-you called me a dick on the internet

You're worse than that bookfu guy OP.
You'll need some confidence and smoothness to pull that off
wew

Ok fag let's delve into this.

I need to postpone telling her the truth as much as I can obviously, and I need to have quick preconceived responses to questions she'll probably have. She will probably talk a lot due to the nature of the meeting, so I have to come up with some story to tell her in the beginning of the date. I need to act interested in what she has to say but take the conversation to different and fun places. What else?

Just tell her that you want to lick her asshole. Problem solved

Licking assholes may cause pink eye.

Alcohol is bad for you. Putin doesn't drink, why should you?

and shit breath

Well, the CIA won't mind, i'm sure of it.

You know there really isn't anything special about your situation. It's no different that any other one-on-one interaction between a man and a woman, like speaking to a waitress.

Chances are if she's not into how you look, she'll try to keep it "professional," and the more you try to fake charm, the more she'll reinforce that and eventually look for an exit.

You're best bet is to be interesting and if you're not, don't pretend to be.

Are you female btw?

That's some uninspiring shit if I ever saw one.

Get out.

Hah, I'm not trying to inspire you.

If you want date advice go somewhere that will actually give it to you and don't preface it with some pathetic story of self-delusion.

Why are you so salty? Would you like me to go ask for advice in a female-controlled-virtue-signaling safe space, so I won't be given advice that might oppose female interests? Why do you hate it when other women get attention?

I eat my wife's ass all the time, I've never gotten pink eye.

I've eaten user's wife's ass as well and I've never gotten pink eye either.

p-post proof

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That's a good example of why you're not understanding where you're fucking up.

If you aren't going to just take something by force, you need to play to interests of whom you're taking from. If she's a normal girl, normal tactics will be more effective, whereas using advice you'd get here would probably just embarrass yourself.

Exactly
Sort out your misogyny OP before you try dating. Girls can pick up on that hostility, which is probably why you have to trick them into going on crypto-dates rather than ask them outright.

Thanks for de-radicalizing me.

You can "radicalize" all you like. But if you have to trick girls into going on a date with you, against "female interests" in an adversarial mindset, and ask Holla Forums of all places to give you tips on how to socialize with hero your prank date, your odds of success rate pretty low.

What are you doing here?

Dropping truth bombs on this circlejerk of shitposts.

Thanks for existing.

Truth bombs incoming

This is now a muhsojohny thread

All of my favorite erotic novels begin like this.

There was one where a guy broke out of juvie and kidnapped a librarian and raped her until she liked it.

This does happen a lot in the military though.

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You mean made her a real bookfu?

OP ask her if she has an innie

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Man oh man so many trolls on the internet impersonating women. JUST

dat shewp

Not all women, shitlord

Harry Potter?

Are you joking? r/relationships and r/twox are almost entirely b8 posts and trolling

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nigger pls

No, there are plenty of examples of that kind of attitude. In fact those are Poes. But r/relationships especially is full of b8.

Prove it

How?

Here OP watch this to get an idea faget

It seems you got triggered by the mention of misogyny. Calm down. This wasn't about progressiveness or giving in to agendas.

OP didn't seem intent on outright raping the chick, but still wants in with as little effort as possible. This is a diplomatic stance, albeit one-sided. And the only way to reap the benefits from diplomacy with minimal losses is to ensure the other party believes your interests align, and how can you do this by disregarding their interests altogether?

No one said you have to provide any actual substance, just the idea. Hell, sometimes that's all they want as well, the escape of a fleeting idea.

Fuck, man. It ain't that hard.

So are you saying that it is well and good to lie to and deceive women, as long as one does it masterfully? I can't agree to this. I won't. You're evil.

Whatever lets you sleep at night.
Although, just using this site and others like it implies duplicity in the individual.

The reason you are posting these infantile adolescent webm's is because your mental age is lower than your actual age, and because you are per definition medically "Mentally retarded". You associate with children because your brain isn't evolved to associate with adults.

Watching cartoons and listening to electronic music is a sign of your mental retardation as well, not just playing video games all day.

Consider sterilization for further contribution to society.

This is the most hateful thing I've ever read.

Indeed, she doesn't have one dick but two!
Seriously though, prepare your anus.

start out slow and casual
work it up into data mode
then shift gears to nylons and heels fuck mode
girls like that are usually chill and fun to hand with and impressively horny kinky and naughty in bed

Take her out for good. Get to know her.

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You should drug her and fuck her in her butthole then wipe your shitty dick on her top lip

sound like best option . not have to say much that way

Tippity top kek.

Just tell her you want to fuck her brains out.

Totally not creepy!

According to this line of reasoning, if you watch old grannies fucking your mental age is somewhere in the 90+ range.