Civil War 2 #3 Storytime

I can't believe Bendis got paid for this. I don't even understand what is supposed to be entertaining about it.

Damn it wrong you're

And so we draw to a close.

that's a fucked up lesson right there.

Don't forget to buy these other comics.

Most entertaining bit of writing in this thread.

Nope, #2 ended with them sowing up in his lab

Damn it, it's too early in the morning for me to be typing right.

Jesus Christ, every fucking conflict in this event so far has been caused by everyone involved being completely retarded. Who the fuck could possibly think the best method of handling banner is showing up with an army on his lawn, breaking into his private files and trying to arrest him for a crime he not only hasn't committed, but isn't aware will happen of or planning to commit. Of fucking course he'll get angry. Anybody on the planet would be angry. All they needed to do was have Carol, Tony and Ulysses visit Banner and talk with him about the vision and not a drop of blood would have been shed.
You know it's completely fucked when the best argument against using psychic visions to stop crime isn't that it's unreliable. but because everyone is too fucking stupid to do it properly. They can see the future and still fuck up every chance they get.

yeah, this issue was posted in the other thread and I got confused. I wouldn't be surprised if Marvel tried to pull something like that though.

This, did fucking Thunderbolt Ross come up with this plan?

Is Bendis trying to write a bad a story?

For anybody who didn't check the other thread, we looked into a few of the tie-ins, too. So far, the Spider-Man and X-Men tie-ins have been the only issues we've seen that both actually address the central conflict of the event and don't have everyone in the story acting like retards.

Meanwhile, from the Captain America and Ms. Marvel tie-ins, we learned that Tony is going to be opposing Carol by claiming that Ulysses is racist or some stupid crap like that.

I hope someone smart gets a hold of Marvel Comics and fires all those hacks just to hire some decent writers. Also I hope this 'Captain Marvel' is dealt with the same disrespect and violence she dealt with others.

the funny thing is, none of this seems like a war worthy event.

At least the last Civil War kicked off with an event that shook a lot of heroes and made them question themselves in a somewhat realistic manner. This is just a disagreement that got some heroes killed in the line of duty.

What's the bodycount now, three heroes? Four?

How much more blood will carol have on her hands before this shitshow is over?

Never thought I'd say this, but I pray this ends like the last civil war. With Tony winning in the end and Carol dying. The only thing this event convinced me of is that Carol is completely incompetent and shouldn't be allowed to fight crime at all let alone try to stop it before it happens. This event is supposed to be a debate about the morality of stopping crime before it happens using visions of the future, but it's impossible for that debate to truly happen as long as Carol and everyone siding with her is so damn stupid.

Why are they killing all the good characters? Why not kill Ms. Muslim or Carol the Cunt?

I can't believe Marvel wants to make a movie with Carol as the lead, she has easily become the worst character they own the rights to.

Ms Muslim can't die, she'll just slowly facde out until she totally disappears someday and only makes minor appearances after that. She might get killed for shock value.

Carol might die at the end of this, but it's more likely that they kill Tony off.

If I ever get a job writing a book at Marvel in the future, I will have Ms. Muslim suicide bomb an Israeli hospital only to be thwarted and then killed by Magneto.

And then he'll be brought back in a few years because of the pendulum swing and nobody wanting Iron Sheboon.

If Marvel weren't pushing her so hard and if this weren't titled "Civil War 2" I'd be convinced they were trying to set her up as the 'bad guy" for all of this.
I've been waiting for Carol do to something RIGHT for once to serve as a sort of "Devil's advocate" for her side. To have something to point to and say "Look what we can do if we use Ulysses' powers", but it hasn't happened. Carol has fucked up every time and nearly every time we've seen a character pick a side so far, they've sided with Tony.
Hell, she's gotten 3 heroes killed so far and THE WAR HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET. At this point almost nobody reading and almost nobody in the ACTUAL COMICS agrees with Carol.

The funny thing is, the harder Marvel tries to push their political and social beliefs on the characters they like, the more those characters become unliked and act like bad guys. On the flipside, the characters we are supposed to hate keep becoming more likable even though they are supposed to be nothing more than strawmen at this point.

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Problem.

The "thing" retconning people is more interesting than Kamala being turned into an ISIS sleeper. Also, there might be some good drama on making her fight her "reprogramming," same with Cap.

This is gold.

By retconning I mean "The Red Skull fucking with history", that's what's already happening with the Cap betrayal thing.

Funniest of all is that these characters are becoming likeable because the writers can't even strawman correctly. Instead of making their strawman spout "I AM RACIST AND SILLY" arguments you see in a typical tumblr-tier webcomic, they copy their oppositions argument word for word and offer no counter-argument of their own. Like that page with Red Skulls anti-Immigrant speech or everything they do with Whor.
The villain gives their argument, then the hero beats them up and acts smug, as if they had actually made some point by beating up someone who disagreed with them. They seem to think making a villain say something is enough to make it wrong.

Close, but no cigar, they actually think that making a character say something conservative makes them evil.

that's pretty unsettling really. They think that heroes are people who stop others from wrong think.

Ah… he has a time machine or something?

Of course! Comrade Marvel is a heroine to the Revolution, stopping crime where it starts, the mind!

I lack Communist China propaganda somehow

Jesus Christ, that's horrifying.

Welcome to the wonderworld of Marx & Engels. Please leave all hope and individual dreams at the gate.

Why does the head look like a dick?

...

He has a little girl Cosmic Cube that he bedtime stories about Hydra to. Since she thinks everything good is Hydra, when she restored Cap's youth, she made him Hydra as well. Kinda like when Andy writes his name on the bottom of his toy's feet.

I still don't get why Tony doesn't make this argument. Unless he honestly just feels all his peers are too fucking stupid for it, so he just says "Ulysses might be racist" because that's all their small minds can understand. And he's not wrong, everyone around him is an idiot. Including himself. The X-Men tie is legitimately well written, it explains itself, it has action beats, the plot moves forward, you feel the tension. This shouldn't even be an event, it should be a few issues of X-Men and Inhumans.

Why didn't he tell anybody? The whole, "i am dreaming about it and i can barely contain it" would be a good piece of information to deal with the situation.
And why didn't he go to talk to him? i mean, if Bruce trusted him so much that he gave him the instrument of his own death, then Hawkeye could have approached him without so many risks.

Hasn't Banner repeatedly tried and failed to kill himself?

How did Hawkeye even do it? Didn't Hulk even come back from being shot in the head with an actual sniper rifle? I realize Bruce made it, but it just seems like it was Hulk-Kryptonite, not something that could get to him pre-hulkout.

It's just a cheap deus ex machina that Bendis pulled out of his ass. Like the apparent anti-Thanos missile that gave She-Hulk a black eye and a bad case of coma.

...

That's such an asspull on the level of shark repellent. It reminds me of square bombs being really dangerous in the media, when it made little sense in real life. If there were an anti-Thanos missile, wouldn't that end up being an anti-just-about-everything-else missile as well?

At least the shark repellent was a dumb was in a show that had humor in it, the thanos missile is in a terrible comic written by a hack fraud

*dumb joke

If I were Stark I'd be making a shit ton of these She Hulk crippling missiles. He'll need them for angry Inhumans or Minoriteam that's breathing down his neck.

No he won't. Remember, issue two established that Iron Man is FLAWLESS.

You know, here's something that I just thought about when thinking back to that fight. That was a stealth suit that could turn invisible, right?

Do you think they're going to try to justify that feat later by claiming that Tony just made the suit's structural flaws invisible or something like that? Or does modern Marvel not really care about things like that anymore?

Marvel doesn't care. Civil War 2 is proof of that. They just don't give a shit.

I have to agree with other user. They could have given any explanation for it, but they didn't care to explain it. Bendis just didn't care enough to even say anything that would have made things sensible.

He only said "special missile" after someone asked him on tumblr, right? I guess his main focus is on making Spider-Gwen fuck Miles Morales.

It would be mind blowing if that story had every detail worked out perfectly, but the main event book is nothing but plotholes and bullshit.

So I guess this thread will be active now, since the other one is finally in autosage.

Did everyone who wanted to read the storytime of issue 4 starting here:

How fucking stupid is Carol? On a scale of 1 to Carol?

So, is Ulysses going to turn out to be the big bad at the end of this event?

I could see Bendis also giving him the ability to generate a 'stupid field' that was making everyone act like this.

It would make his actions make more sense too.

It would not surprise me AT ALL if he's some kind of ultra-powerful telepath that's trying to take over the world. He was probably trying to get 90% of earth's heroes killed in one move by having them show up and try to trigger Bruce. He would have succeeded too, if it weren't for Hawkeye.

I honestly am no sure that he won't turn out to be a tool groomed by Karnak specifically to attack this obvious flaw in the superhero community. I mean, if Ulysses can says something is true, or only tells a side of it that will benefit the Inhumans, people will fucking believe it. It's an absurd amount of trust to put in people who have primarily acted out of their own self interest since FOREVER.

Also, none of this would matter at all if they treated these visions like tips instead of fact. If they just had any rules at all, but Carol is straight up arresting people purely on visions. If common sense was a factor in this at all, it would just be something added to the universe in an organic way that could lead to stories like this down the line. I think that's the biggest annoyance. In the 90s, Ulysses would have been introduced in a book a year ago, put to limited use, and then an event would happen where his visions become more dire and horrible as everyone struggles to decide if he's crazy or if the world is ending. Instead the only thing I can say positive about this is that they didn't start choking and punching eachother the moment they had an argument like in Civil War 1.

Fuck, I didn't even think about that. Is Ulysses some kind of Inhuman agent?

But I mean, an alien race sending a sleeper cell to infiltrate the superhero community? I don't think Bendis would ever do a plot like that.

Tony's dead for sure, they need to replace him with that black college chick who will be the new Iron Man because she made an Iron Man suit in her dorm room because she's lolsomuchsmarterthanthosesillyracistboys!

Considering her gets Red and Black eyes his villainy was basically a foregone conclusion.

And that is not getting into his TOTALLY-NOT-A-VILLAIN costume showed in the last issue.

Or is that too profiling for this event?

Everything is profiling. Which shouldn't be the event, because Carol has thrown all due process and common sense out the window. If she kept to logical rules, then the event being about profiling makes sense.

I'm slowly reading this, lets find out if it makes us hate Carol less.. or more.

We start with Carol answering to her true masters: Canada.

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...

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Is it just me or does she have MORE people for this fight than she had for Thanos?

...

She didn't bring Dazzler, I guess that is a plus

okay, so I can say this all is the best look at Carol's motivation, which ISN'T ADDRESSED AT ALL IN THE MAIN BOOK. Thank you idiotic government officials for purposefully choosing the most emotionally compromised person you could find to lead a strike force of super humans that are apparently cleared to give the middle finger to basic laws.

Blame Canada.

So… Wouldn't that mean that this "Civil War" is actually a Canada-US proxy conflict?

Gotta save Dazzler for the BIG FIGHTS!

Seriously, if you just took Dazzler's stories at their most basic, she can probably make herself look like the biggest badass. "I fought Galactus once!" or "The first time I met Phoenix, I saved her life". It's all true, but not in the way you might imagine.

I will figure out dinner for myself and then do Ms. Marvel #9. If someone has anything else to share, that's cool, too. Not sure if a new X-Men issue came out, but that's the only good shit from this even so far (though Spiderman was okay).

I DECIDED I CAN'T WAIT! Our generational tale continues with Ms. M's mom.

...

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GLORIUS!

But maybe Carol telling a bunch of hipster kids to enforce thought crime with no regard for human rights was wrong…

Seriously, this entire three pages sums up how balls retarded the event is. Is that on purpose? I don't know.

Doubt rears its head, and Ms. M wonders if Cap M is still th-HOLY SHIT, WHY ARE THEY JUST BLUE NAZIS!

I can't even deal with how much I loved this smash cut to Hitler Youth imagery. I'm still smiling.

I was half way through the last page here and jokingly thought she's a dyke.

THIS IS THE BEST. This comic is so retarded I'm actually having fun now. Everything is out the door, the only consistency is absurdity.

And since Canada is clearly down with all this shit, that ninja dude is going to be locked up for life.

wew

She wants to make some cinnamon swirl babies with the Muslim girl. Girls can do that when they love eachother enough, right? Have babies.

Also, one of the kids actually seems to be aware of what the ENTIRE AMERICAN JUSTICE SYSTEM IS BASED ON.

Bravo, speech bubbles on the second page.

Why are they so bad at everything

NO TIME TO PRAISE ALLAH TONIGHT!

White girl is going to give that girl a taste of American culture she'll never forget.

Just because the privileged lesbian digs the towelhead poon, it doesnt mean she oh who am I kidding she'll totally gonna end up munching the blonde carpet.

...

I would make a quip about watching the watchmen, if the situation wasnt presented already as completely falling apart.

I don't know anything about Ms. M's supporting cast, so I guess this guy can just do thi-OOPS, I GUESS NOT!

Where is your metrosexual latino inhuman precog NOW, Ms. Marvel? Why didn't he warn you and the Teen Nazi force about this?

In a comic about a muslim girl, it's the white guy who blows himself up. Amazing.

Hold on to your hats, we are going to get DOUBLE faggotry soon.

Irony is a word at this point in time.

Everyone is gay.

Civil War II ends with Kamala confessing her feelings to Carol and they get married. And then have babies due to Inhuman/Kree magic.

But, seriously, WHY did the kids all dress like blue Nazis the first chance they could? Did they order those? Did Carol send them fitted Nazi uniforms? I don't understand, and I desperately want to.

Nothing makes any sense anymore.

Where we're going we don't need sense.

...

That's a really familiar face/panel…

Modern Marvel is why

Every fucking day.

…So, the only reason this event is even happening in the first place is because they're placing all the wrong people in charge on the pro-future visions side of things? People who keep making really, really dumb decisions, and then not doing anything to clean up the messes that those really, really dumb decisions are leaving behind?

Because it seems like the story in the Ms. Marvel comic would have been over this issue if Carol had bothered to listen to a full report of what the new Marvel Youth Cadets were getting up to and then put her foot down. Instead, she's placing her trust in a teenage girl to know when her sidekick squad is breaking the law and reign them in, when the members of her sidekick squad are also the people who are supposed to be advising her on what's legal and what isn't.

I'm willing to cut Kamala Khan a little slack because she's a teenage girl who should never have been put in charge in a morally and ethically complex situation like this in the first place. Carol Danvers, on the other hand, doesn't have that excuse.

It's from a Bruce Timm story. Bad Love, maybe? I forget if that's the title.

This. Kids are allowed to be fuck ups, but Carol is GROWN ASS ADULT, who doesn't think that unleashing a bunch of children to enforce the law as they see fit is a bad idea. She couldn't assign them ONE adult overseer just to be sure they're not going completely nuts?

Ok, wait
Wait, wait. You can arrest people for doing nothing, because some guy tells you you have to arrest them, and you can put them in jail, no laws, no lawyers,no rights, but… you can't tell some people to go fuck themselves or stop them?
And they are lying about their authority. And nobody ever fucking noticed? Even with a jail full of people who didn't do nothing?
This is crazy

...

You can basically break any laws you want if you're confident enough. They couldn't stop the other kids because they were more confident.

New chapter of the Ulysses digital comic:
readcomics.tv/civil-war-ii-ulysses-infinite/chapter-3/full

Kinda interesting look at how Ulysses experiences his vision. He's still not quite a character though. Sorry, no Tongue in this issue

Ulysses sure is getting bullied.

Kinda makes me wish someone would make a STOP BULLYING comic about him and Karnak.

I hate Civil War II so much. It used to be about whether or not future profiling was ethical for about 80 seconds, then it immediately jumps to Nazi time cops. I understand Civil War I wasn't the best written thing ever, but at least some time passed before the heroes started outright acting like lunatics.

What Civil War 1 did you read? I forget what issue it was that a clone of Thor put a hole through a dude's chest the size of an actual bus.

This does top it on the scale of pure retarded though. I don't know how, because I consider Civil War one of the single worst events ever written. But this time there isn't even sides, everything could be handled if they just handled the visions like we do actual tips, and otherwise used the normal laws we actually have. At least registration could be something of an argument, this is just Carol going full tyranny the moment she gets the chance, and killing all of her friends and peers.

If they do a What If…? Civil War II issue, it should just be a single page where someone says "Well, okay, we'll act on tips, but make sure not to violate the rights of citizens. Get counsuling for crimes of passion, that sorta thing" and everyone will nod, and it'll say THE END.

I'm honestly just impressed they're making Carol the kinda-sorta bad guy at this point. I mean sure, they'll probably swing the pendulum and make Tony do even worse, or make Carol apologize for "not paying attention" to the people enacting her will and let her off lightly while the grunts caring out her orders to infringe on civil rights take the full burnt, but as of the present, it's Carol's people strutting around in recolored Nazi uniforms while she herself fucks off, ignores greivances against her policies, and gets finger-wagged by Little Lady Brownie. Completely against the Marvel team's recent track record; I wonder what angle they trying to set up?

If it really does end with them all just accepting that Carol was wrong, that would improve my opinion of the whole thing. The main book would still be a retarded mess, but some of the tie ins aren't AS bad (with the X-Men one I actually enjoyed).

I assume there will be one last vision to throw a wrench in the works. I honestly think Tony will just leave earth or go into some sort of exile due to a vision.

Is anyone actually reading the Iron Man stuff? Because I have no idea why Riri was talking about Tony disappearing, but then she's there for the final battle of CWII? Was Tony missing for some other reason, or at some other point? Like was he missing between Banner's murder and the actual Barton trial? I don't expect all of this to make sense timeline wise, but isn't Bendis writing this and Iron Man? Wouldn't he at least be able to keep that straight if it doesn't make sense?

You're right. Both events weren't handled really well, but I like Civil War I a bit more because I don't really know how to handle something like a superhuman registration act. But I do know that future profiling is very easy–if Future Man says that suspect has a gun, just casually over to suspect, ask him if everything's cool and talk him down from a ledge. But these heroes are just outright tackling, incarcerating, and in Banner's case, murdering suspects without any recourse or consequence.

I think the worst thing about Civil War 1 is the registration act was presented vague as fuck. It wasn't even just 'registration' most of the time, it was a DRAFT. Otherwise they really didn't need to "register" people like Luke Cage who had a public identity, but they immediately blow up his house at 12:01 AM the day registration starts?

In contrast, you're absolutely right, the worst part of Civil War II is that the solution is EXTREMELY CLEAR. If we in the real world got this power, we more or less have all the laws in place. If someone, like Ms. Marvel's friend with the lesbian ex, was going to do something stupid and kill people, he'd be handled like any other kid we got a tip about. He'd be investigated, probably get evaluated, suspended if needed, and maybe we'd post a guard at the location he was going to attack/cause an accident. We WOULDN'T drag him out of his house, taze him, and then lock him up without access to a lawyer or letting his parents be by his side. The only thing Carol did right is understand that "profiling" is useful, but (like Tony in CW1) her methods went completely insane the moment she got approval to disregard all criminal rights.

Thanks, Canada.

I think it is when he kidnaps and "tortures" Ulysses, same time Nova has his whole "3 weeks and no response" thing.

And yeah, the time frames really don't fit at all, since the main series basically makes it seem like Tony was only unaccounted for for like a hour or 2 tops.

And that "He tortured me." remark seems even more silly after reading Ulysses shitty webcomic.

Fuck, I didn't even think of that. He should have been like "Thank you for taking me away from the Inhumans, Mr. Stark!"

fuck, nothing in this entire event makes sense.

OP is torturing me.

Did Mightygodking do a redub of CW2, or did he give a sum total of 0.0 fucks?

Not only that, this shouldn't even be a superhero event. For the wider implications, it should be a court case. Thanos acquiring cosmic artefacts or the world being threatened by celestial beings is one thing, but some guy about to get some people killed in an act of petty arson? That's such mundane shit that there is no excuse whatsoever for it not being left to the police. Let the authorities handle the arrests, detentions and prosecutions, don't presume that just because it's a superpower predicting the future, only the superhuman community is allowed to have any say in the matter.

How often are his visions correct?

Almost never since they manage to stop events before they happen. I guess he was right about thanos and spiderman book. Thats it

Why do I find this half assed explanation of the fight against Thanos so infuriating.

Because everyone just nods along when she says she affirms she would have done the same exact thing if given a second chance. No one says "you had 3 hours and a cosmic threat on your hands, and you didn't think to call any other heroes? You had enough time to evacuate the entire facility where Thanos was going to touch down (and replace a bunch of personnel with dummies!), but couldn't take 2 minutes to ring up the avengers?"
No one accounts for her gross incompetence both then and in dealing with Banner, which can only mean that all of alpha flight is as grossly incompetent as she is.

In one of their first real stories,in an effort to get Wolverine from the X-Men, they almost destroyed several a large portion of the country by summoning a storm that got wildly out of control. Storm nearly died stopping it. And in the end they DIDN'T EVEN GET WOLVERINE. So, yes, being grossly incompetent is an established trait of Alpha Flight.

All they had to do was call in Thor and/or Iron Man, both of whom would have added a ton of muscle to the team. And no one would care if Thor died, cause she's a cunt. Hell, the Hammer would go to someone better anyway, so it would be a win-win.

I still think it's fishy that Medusa was the one who fucked up. "Oh no, Medusa got tossed by Thanos and that resulted in TWO NON-INHUMANS DYING, what an unfortunate turn of events!". Seems like all of this can only go in the Inhuman's favor. If Ulysses is accepted for good, the world owes Inhumans a debt of gratitude. If they reject him, they can pretend that they tried to help everyone, but humans "weren't ready for that power". And don't tell me a future kid being trained by a guy who can SEE THE FLAW IN EVERYTHING doesn't give the Inhumans a tactical advantage over everyone ever. Why even tell everyone that Ulysses exists? TO FUCK EVERYONE.

Speaking of the inhumans, where the hell is Black Bolt? Because if this event became "The selfishly intentioned Inhumans were the real bad guys the whole time!" and then Black Bolt came back and slapped is wife for orchestrating all this bullshit, that would be great. The event would still be a big pile of shit, but it would be marginally better for it.

Reminder that comics are haram and it is the will of allah that Bendis and all other comic creators shall be beheaded in the streets

That is just early comics though. When feats of reality manipulation was just filed under "fiasco" cause it's so common. But right now? They are there writing believing their shit is Shakespeare. It's why this is more unacceptable today.

Issue 4 is out, I can't imagine this getting any worse but knowing Bendis, the shit is about the hit the fan.

Man, they really like to stretch things out by copying panels, don't they?

It was storytimed in the other thread, which is autosage, but still around. Here's the link:

ENJOY.

I can't wait til every issue of Ms. Marvel is building up to that Muslim girl eating white pussy.

Digital comics are like that, it's not really supposed to be read the way we read it. Basically the one panel would change and alter, such as when his vision is getting more graphic and more subpanels are filling in around him.

In that regard I can only kind of judge if, because I've never been into digital comics. I like the simple, tried and true layout of a print book. But maybe there will be kids who grow up really appreciating digital comics as a distinct artform with its own set of rules and visual language.

You can find video of real muslim "priests" talking about how much a sin being a fag is.

Oh, she'll be praising Allah the American way soon. And it'll be more than three times a day.

Yeah, you'd have a point, but this is America, and we tell Allah to go fuck himself. Try again.

The only thing I want from this whole MARVEL NOW thing is a canon lesbian Muslim eating infidel pussy. Just give me this one thing, Marvel. This can't be a tease.

So eating Gwenpool pussy?

Now that would be a comic event.

This picture alone does more too justify the existence of these characters and the universe they're in than any desperate attempt by SJW attention whores working for peanuts to make drama and intrigue out of their shallow identity politics horseshit peddled into modern comic ever could.

I don't think Gwenpool deals with identity politics, mate.

Kamala does it enough for the both of them.

Muslims behead/lynch/toss fags off buildings
Can't show that stuff in a current year capeshit comic

Are there any other tie ins that matter?

Did Totally Awesome Hulk even deal with Banner being dead yet?

Probably in like 2 months?

I think Space Knight is having him go back to earth for SANIC Mani in order to try to "purify" it fully.

Alternatively the Mania Symbiote becomes the ALL NEW ALL DIFFERENT Venom and Flash keeps his neutered spess one.

Yep, it was basically Cho crying in a bed, Carol pulling the same HEY LET'S POINT A ARMY ON THE HULK shit she did on banner, but Cho keeping his cool and then him telling her "What makes you think you COULD stop me if i was pissed?" as the army left the scene making it clear that he really IS pissed at her, then he trolled her with a earthquake which seems to motivated Black Panther to do something in the upcoming issue.

Is She "And? And? AND?" Hulk still on Carol's side?

Don't even pretend that wasn't brilliant writing. It certainly wasn't a way to fill up a page with NOTHING.

Is "And " the new "What?"?

I just realized I can split this up into three reaction images… 5 if I want to keep Carol's puppy dog eyes as well.

If only those bubbles were flipped for the rest of the conversation, too.

HOW DO YOU FUCK THIS UP
HOW DO YOU DRAW A LINE THAT SAYS 'IT'S CAPTAIN MARVEL' TO ULYSSES
DOESN'T THIS COMIC HAVE EDITORS

NO! That's a clue about his true powers, and the surprise at the end of the event!

What are editors?

Thank you user, that was a good chuckle.

UNFF. Dat Shulk. Cool scars, amazonian yet vulnerable in posture and with that disheveled hair, it's…it's *MWAH* molto bene.

Take this, I think you'll enjoy it.

I think you're supposed to spoiler stuff like that.

This is overboard (her hand/arm proportions seem off), but why is her hair [seductively?] draped over her face? Shouldn't it be tied back/in a hair net/cut/shaved/anything to keep it out of the way during medical…stuff?

The mods will spoiler it for me, so who cares.

Because you made She Hulk horny. You wouldn't like her when she's horny…

I'll say it again
Just keep posing until somebody falls down

This is true, and I think a lot of time scripts are really simple in regards to the fight (even to the point of "they fight for 4 pages, with the good guys winning" more or less being actual script direction) and deadlines overall make artists not go for as dramatic a fight as they could probably do. I mean, this was a fight with a crapton of heroes busting up on a giant monster woman, and it's really a montage of punches, there is no back and forth, only one moment of real peril (when she shoots down their planes… Not that I know why Sasquatch is in a plane instead of starting the fight with his brute strength), and it's just over. It's fine that fights aren't always the focus, but these days it seems like the fight is NEVER the focus, so they never get any of the love and attention they need.

At least the first one has good art and fight scenes.

Next time on CIVIL WAR II:

WIll something actually happen? Will this war actually ever make sense? Will somebody do something? Will the drawings per page finally outweigh the text?

Stay tuned!

A definite MAYBE.
Not even ever.
Dying pointlessly counts as "something" right?
It wouldn't be so bad if the test was any good though. But that won't be fixed.

I still don't believe Carol called in all of Canada AND Space to beat up her American friends. Oh, and she's go the King of Wakanda and the entire Inhuman Nation with her.

With the tragic end of Banner in Civil War 2 #3 and the heroes gearing up to fight one another in Civil War 2 #4, I think we should take a look at some of the sidelines and see some other people who are hurting in the most pointless Marvel event ever.

Amadeus Cho was a big fan of Hulk and a friend of Banner. Now that he's dead, how will Cho take it?

For those wondering if this issue will answer the question of why Carol and co decided to harass the guy who can't turn into the Hulk anymore and not the guy who can, this issue will not address that at all.

Hawkeye walks for murdering the monster man who almost destroyed the planet once. I think this is supposed to be a very loose parallel to the topic of police violence, considering that this event also deals with profiling and how it's bad even though this is nothing like profiling.

But will Cho get angry?

Jesus Christ, this would make me fucking salivate if I was a Amendments lawyer in Marvel.

A bunch of kids essentially kidnapping another kid from his house, racial profiling on hearsay?

My dick would be fucking diamonds. You would have to call the diamond exchange to classify my new erection.

Remember how Carol decided it'd be a good idea to confront Banner, the guy who turns into a big monster under stress, with a massive show of force? And how Banner immediately died? And how it's unanimously agreed that if maybe she didn't decide to do that, Banner would still be alive?

Pointless tacked-on Spider-Man cameo is now a meme.
I propose we take our favourite webcomic and shoop spider-man in inappropriately.

I'm starting to think Carol is being purposefully written as a giant cunt.

...

I read that in Christopher Daniel Barnes voice, damnit.

It looks like Cho is wrecking the scene! But why?

Cho may have destroyed that mining site, triggered a seismic event, and endangered thousands of people, but he was just joking so calm down.

But Black Panther thinks he's a danger, and he's going to fiholy shit look at this cutey wutest thing! Why does he have this?

Jesus, no wonder Mar-Vell left her for Elysius.

...

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

Guys… how is this so bad? How is it possible something so horrible can exist? This is just miserable.

Why is Black Panther inside Proto?

Because Brian Micheal Bendis exist user and Marvel gives him way too much leeway.

Marvel gives Bendis too much leeway?

Yeah, isn't he heading this crossover?

This Bendis? This Brian Michael Bendis right here is writing Civil War 2?

Yeah, you know. The one who writes comics. You know the pages with panels and word balloons (I heard they call pews but that just reminds me of church pews).

Comics? Seriously?

…You know, I don't think I'd mind if the Hulk tie-in just ended on that note. It's a bit petty, but Captain Marvel kinda deserves it.

Too bad it has to continue on to the next issue and a fight with some sort of Wakandan Hulk Buster piloted directly by Black Panther.

Wait, what?
Mania is coming back?
Jesus, i love that girl but considering that this is THE CURRENT YEAR, im sure they'll ruin her character.
Why couldnt they leave her alone from this shit?

Because Marvel is evil

World War Hulk III written by nonretards when? I just fucking want some green fists beating the shit out of this shitty heroes. Only when Captain Marvel is all bloody and humilliated I'll feel satisfied.

Seriously, Carol? Seriously? Does she have a virus effecting her brain? Oh, wait, that's someone else… but, why would anyone do this confrontation like this? And it's not THIS writer's fault, he's just working off the characterization Bendis has for her: she's fucking insane.

What a rush. Has Carol ever had this much power before? It'll be interesting to see who Jenn finally sides with.

She used to be a good person. Now she really would rather bust criminals than save lives.

I started reading the original Ms. Marvel book from 77, and the writer even says in issue one that a lot of thought about women's liberation went into the book, and how the core part of Carol at the start is that she is her own person… but she doesn't know who that person is. Which would be amazing characterization for her, that all her life, through all the twists and turns she's been trying to find out who she is, what her purpose is. If it was portrayed that finding Ulysses was, to her, finding a purpose and direction in life without the doubts that plagued her since she gained powers, that would be AMAZINGLY well written.

But here it really seems like she's just an asshole on a power trip. Because it's not about getting these characters to plot points work off almost 40 years of continuity. It's about taking a name and slapping it into a role that works with a cheap event to sell books.

Why would Black Panther even think to do this? I thought he was smart? Because this is a stupid idea.

Ya know, I've never really read any stories with Amadeus Cho, as Hulk or not. I just didn't put much thought into it, because he seemed like a pretty normal sassy teen genius type, and seemed to have a fair handle on the Hulk thing. So to me that wasn't "My Hulk" from the 80s and 90s. But these pages, I see the appeal of the character. He inherited a legacy of armies pointing guns at him for the sake of a friend (at least I assume that's how it happened) and he can't even have his friend? He can be in complete control (to the knowledge of others, he is, though he does have blackouts) and people would still treat him like this. And being treated like shit for trying to live your life is "my Hulk".

Carol and a complete disregard for the laws we ALREADY HAVE IN PLACE are the only problem with using Ulysses. If they had any one else in charge, and worked out a system to keep everyone in line, bam, just a nice early warning system everyone can make the most of.

Instead everyone goes full blue Nazi.

Jesus. Alpha flight is literally a SJWs wet dream. A glpbalist attack force thatvstops wrong think before it even happens.

Why would a Government authority and prison let college kids in. This shit doesn't make sense.

The only way I'll be satisfied with this Civil War is if it ends with Carol's corpse hanging from the gallows. They can't just return to normal after this like they did with the last Civil War. This is straight up villain territory she's strayed into.

No you didn't you fucking liar, you were just in the thread I made about it.

GET READY HULK

I'd pay to see that fight.

What?

Nigga, they took back EVERYTHING from the first Civil War in just a few years. Tony was arresting superheroes and throwing them into a prison IN ANOTHER DIMENSION. None of this matters, at all. Carol could eat a baby, live on tv while reading Mein Kampf aloud between bites and by the time her movie comes out she'll be back to being a beloved superhero.

Sometimes I wonder if the comic guys are really jealous of the movie guys though. The movie guys are mostly using elements from older, better writers, and the new stuff is just considered childish shit scribbles that might have one or two good ideas in the piles of shit. That's part of why the Civil War movie was a coherent film and not a huge cluster fuck like the comic, because the film writers are just BETTER than guys like Bendis or Millar. So are they just fucking around with characters like Captain Marvel so that it's even more jarring when the order comes to unfuck her up in time for the movie?

House of ideas

I don't know who this is, but I like him already.

Marvel's big money making trope is selfish "hero's" ego goes supernova, things go to shit, "hero" realizes they were wrong, Becomes Humble & redeems themselves. See Iron Man 1…