Tips on how to lose your virginity!!!

For those of you who are still virgins, I got some effective tips that will actually work for you. So listen up losers, this is how it's done…

1) Look Good -
This is very important because appearance is everything. You need to be attractive, it is the bait for women. Without it you got nothing. So you'll need to shave your face. So no goatee, no beard, no pedostache. Women love a clean shaven face. You'll also need to lose weight, dress sharp, preferably in a tux. Wear cologne. And have a great haircut similar to Christian Bale's haircut from The Dark Knight Trilogy.
2) Live on your own -
This is very important. You need your own place. So move out of your parents basement and start living on your own.
3) Own a car -
Women love men who drive.
4) Get a job -
Women love men who have a job.
5) Be a man, not a man-child -
Which means lose the Marvel t-shirts, toys and whatever other Marvel crap that you own. Real women do not like man-child. If you have to like superheroes, go for something more adult, such as DC superheroes. Women love Superman.
6) Don't be a cheapskate -
Make sure you have more than enough money to spend on your date, otherwise you're not getting laid.
7) Don't be a pervert -
Women hate men who ask for their nude pics.
8) Lose all your porn -
Get rid of it. Women hate perverts.
9) Act like an adult -
Women love men who are mature. Not a thug wannabe immature loser who thinks everything he says is right.
10) Don't grab her by the pussy -
Just because Trump can get away with sexual assault, doesn't mean you can. Make sure she's okay with having sex with you. Consent is important.

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Although I think you're a sodomite, you're not wrong.
However ==Let other fags figure this shit out==

The fucking word filter actually made me laugh
sodomite

???

sodomite ?

So I can't rape Our Goddess Nicole to death?

You must have missed the part where he says they let him.

fuck off nigger

Step 1.

Put da dik in da pussy

No. Doing all of that just to get some dumb 3dpd? That's silly.

Pretty much this. Nigger's big black book on baked aids booty.


Yep. A woman who doesn't initiate isn't worth your time.

Truly one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. I am not fucking joking when I say, you're genuinely stupid. I know people say stuff like this a lot on chans without proper evidence but you have proven amply that you should be removed from the gene stock of humanity. I apologize for your existence. sodomite

At least I'm not bumping this thread, sodomite

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sage negated

It's some new forced copy pasta user there is trying to get to catch on

Yeah, I know.

Why aren't you sageing, sodomite~?

sage negated

Everybody knew this stuff, we just don't think it's worth it since a lot of that stuff would take a lot of work

You're a fucking retard go listen to Tom Lykis. He is a multimillionaire telling men how to get laid without your gay and retarded ways.

Sorry I enjoy being a degenerate sodomite sometimes.

I saved it from here a few months ago but i guess you newfags won't remember.

I don’t understand what’s happening these days. I was fourteen when I lost my virginity. Are you saying guys can’t get laid in high school anymore? What’s the point of going to school if you can’t get laid?

Wrong.
Meh, maybe in some cases, you can still live with your parents and be independent sodomite.
Wrong. See 50 shades of grey.

Nothing ruins the mood like asking: Hey so can I have sex with you now y/n?

OP is confirmed underaged sodomite.

Ive been here over a year but don't always browse Holla Forums so today was the first time I've seen it.

Go away

Wrong. Obviously you've never heard of condoms or getting tested before having sex.


Fair enough.


Exactly. Unless you want to be a registered sex offender, then be my guest.


Except for the women who actually accusing Trump of violating them without their consent.


Wrong picture of Superman, wigger. Is that some cosplayer? Sheesh.


That's something a rapist would say. Must have taken that step from Trump's guide to raping women.


It's not dumb to make yourself look good, living on your own, having your own place and your own car just to get laid. Unless you want to lower your standards and go for an easy ugly fat chick.


Or maybe you know you can't get the hot chicks. So you go for the easy ugly ones.


Copy pasta?


So you rather settle for a fat ugly chick that's easy, then to make the effort to get a hot one instead? Okay.


"gay" "retarded"…seems to describe you perfectly.


I know a friend who lost his virginity to a 13 year old girl when he was 19. I'm surprised he didn't go to prison for that.


False because…
1) A shaven face is a smooth face women love.
2) Not many women go for a man who lives with his parents. I know some guys who still live with their parents and has a hard time getting into a relationship because of it.
3) 50 Shades Of Grey is a work of fiction. We live in reality, you can't just grab her by the pussy without being charged with sexual assault.
4) Or maybe you don't have to ask, you just need to let her initiate it.

Virgin user confirmed.


No.

Mmmm, but I would be willing to be a registered sex offender in order to give Our Goddess the hard pounding she desires.

lbig post = redditor

Then go for it. You have my blessing.


What's a redditor?

What's a sage?

OP is a giant sodomite

You are a huge virgin sodomite.

*Which word swaps to sodomite?**
Fag?

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Or just get a hooker.

If you go through all that to fuck some whore you're beyond saving.

Let me help you with your list.
that is all you need to do. the end
good job, you can now stick your dick a wet hole, I hope it was worth all the hours of work

Good advice mostly but:
Is terrible. Just don't be a weirdo and keep it around where they can find it ever.
Is also terrible. Winners grab life by the pussy and women don't want losers.

You are a huge F-A-G-G-O-T.


Getting a hooker is for losers. It's the fastest way to get AIDS.


It takes more than to get a shitload of money apparently. Looks are everything.


1) Better keep it well hidden, or at least make sure it's digital and kept away safely in a micro-SD card.
2) False. Losers sexually assault and get registered as a sex offender for life. Winners never end up on the sex offender registry.

Is it just one poster here obsessed with catching AIDS or is it some Holla Forums meme people are genuinely buying?

Obsessed with AIDS?

...

Yeah, I've seen several anons not want to do anything in case they get AIDS. One guy wants desperately to be fucked in the ass, but won't because AIDS, and now this guy doesn't want to fuck a prostitute due to AIDS.

You're not going to catch AIDS you bunch of virgin soddots

I see. Well I'm not that overly worried about it. I just avoid prostitutes because they do carry diseases/viruses, not just AIDS. As for anal sex, I'm not into that unless I'm fucking a woman in the ass. Which I have done once with my ex's mother while she was on her period, but I prefer a wet pussy much more.

Girls love beards, moms hate beards

Living with and getting dating advice from mom confirmed

False. Girls hate beards because it makes you look like a creeper. Fat ugly chicks love bearded men.

Fat ugly bearded virgin confirmed.

I live with parents, women don't give a shit, but my parents aren't strict. I dress well and am confident in speaking to women, I don't drive because of illness. The main things women care about is cash and if you look good.

Women don't care if you watch porn its not 1960, unless they are religious conservatives or sjw types. some don't want them to watch it around them obviously

Rent in UK is expensive, I get more pussy than dudes with BMW and their own bachelor pad ….

girls don't like men who let them initiate, lol. they like dominant men.
OP confirmed fag sissy.

So you think women only care about "cash" and don't give a damn if you live with your parents and don't drive. That's not a woman, that's a hooker.


Doesn't matter if they are SJW, religious conservative, anti-SJW, liberal, anti-religious…any kind of woman can hate porn and have any of those labels on them. The majority of women simply hate porn because it's degrading and offensive to all women.


Tell that to the many women I've slept with in my bachelor pad.


False. Rapists tend to initiate without consent and land themselves in prison. Letting her initiate has nothing to do with "domination" or "submissiveness". It has everything to do with consent.

Registered sex offender [email protected]/* */ confirmed.

I SUCK BLACK COCKS LOL

THIS POST BROUGHT TO YOU BY BLACKED.COM

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You suck black cocks? Enjoy AIDS [email protected]/* */

But user, you haven't answered the most important question. Why is sex worth that much sacrifice?

So that way you can keep having sex everyday, instead of waiting for months trying to have sex again.

I dated two girl who loved beards.
Just wash it and keep it trim unless of course you got a nice chiseled jaw, than feel free to show it off.

My jaw is actually one of my best features.

any tips on how to lose your virginity to a 2D girl

No. But you can save up and buy one of those fake vaginas and look at a 2D girl while you do it.

Or save up and buy one of those expensive sex dolls.

I'd rather just wait for sexbots with AI/matrix level VR where I can go off and live a happy life with my waifu tbh

Good luck.

You and me both fam

You and me both fam

You and me both fam

You and me both fam

Not every guy is that lucky.
A man jaw is as important as a girl nose, luckily fir the reast of us, men can grow beard.

Not every man. I know some guys who can only grow a goatee.

the only way to get girls is to treat them like shit tbh

OP confirmed for being a sodomite.
You're such a beta cuck it's laughable

And yet you bumped the thread

I think I'll stick to 2d.

Only if they're submissive, weak and easy.

False.

user No.6348997 = confirmed virgin and actual cuckoid [email protected]/* */

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Holy shit, all of this dedication towards getting laid? Who's the loser now?

False. Hookers want money. Women want a man who can take care of himself.


False.

The loser here is you, since you aren't a man. You believe that your parents will live forever, instead of moving out on your own and taking care of yourself. A real man gets his shit together.

Ill give you more than the tip virgin…

False.

Women want a man who can take care of a woman to his own detriment.

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False. No woman wants to take care of a man who can't take care of himself financially.

Exactly. You get it.

Women want a man who can support a woman, without regard for whether or not doing so will allow him to support himself.

I'm glad we've reached consensus.

that true, but that doesn't disprove what the other guy said
3DPD want to be taken care of financially, even if that comes at the cost of the man's well-being.

Autism: the post

me too

some tard made a thread about her on /fit/, what is she even?

This post is so fucking retarded that I'm not even going to bother refuting you. Actually, the real loser here is you, because you believe that completely changing yourself for the worse and busting your ass just to get laid is all of the sudden THE PINNACLE OF MAN BECAUSE IT COMPLETELY NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED A GORILLION TIMES BEFORE HOLY SHIT!!!!!!111111111111111111!1 AND ANYONE WHO DOESNT LIVE MY LIFESTYLE BEGGING WOMEN ON MY KNEES TO TOUCH MY WEENIE ARE LE BASEMENT DWELLING LOOOSERS IN THEIR MOMS BASEMENTS!!!!!!!!!111

Tips on how to lose your virginity!!!

1) Grab her by the pussy.
2) That's it.

In the fucking bin it goes. Just dress nice and lose the tism.

I lost… this was a YLYL thread, right?

Is having a pussy rubbed on your dick still virgin ?

This is really good advice if you are a fucking idiot. I dont mean what you think I mean by that. What I mean is this:

I am an unemployed, car-less, living-with-parents, cheapskate, pervert, and I can verify that none of this shit matters (also have about 500GB of porn on my harddrive) if you are intelligent. I DO happen to be handsome (so Im told), but I doubt that my beauty is so overwhelming that I can just "get away" with the other shit. If you are smart and funny, literally nothing else matters. Charm girl -> train her without her knowing -> profit. My gf is trained to know that literally any sexual encounter we have must start with bj and end with anal (and probably some choking). She does pussy-to-mouth (even though she hates it) and has admitted in a sort-of nervous breakdown that she *really* doesnt like anal, but I get it anyways. I dont actually intend to be a parasite, but I really am (to the point that it is rather obvious to the outside world), and yet she does what I say pretty much all the time. I drive her car when I want, get fast food/liquor when I want (with her money, of course), and of course get laid when I want. Mind control is not a myth, nor is it complex. Just dont be a fucking idiot. Pro tip: most of you are fucking idiots, follow this advice.

FTFY

I haven't posted to b in years.
this was the first board i ever went on when first going on Holla Forums.
now this board is shit. thanks fags.

I had 3 girls hitting on me at a halloween party this saturday. One 3/10, juan 6/10 and uno 7/10. I just brushed them off as i were not interested having been invited over to a 8 after the party. Plan fell through but, no regrets as friday we had cuddled all night.

1) Hire a hooker off Craigslist -
It's about a billion times cheaper if you're planning on following OP's guide and unless you smell like shit are are an actual 0.1/10 they wont say no as long as you have the cash.

Even though this thread is total b8, it's pretty comfy.

I literally had no pic and "wanna fuck" as my bio and still got some bitch chatting me up. Polly could've gotten laid if not for the fact that I was to wasted to even sit up straight when she messaged me. Was a fun convo though.

Sounds like what an edgy 16yo nerd would say after his friend lost his virginity because this so full of bushit and generalizations

This

Does a buzz cut count as a good haircut?