Holla Forums cringe/rage stories

literally intl

Intl was right faggot.

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>I forgot to buy the fucking adult diapers

you're a right faggot m8

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Bill Gates is a lich, I'm telling you. Windows 10 is his phylactery. The souls of all those little nigger kids are used to fuel his hellish biomechanical form.

aka: only win8+
>they run ubuntu hassle free for a little while
This man is so fucking stupid he's come full circle to being a savant.
It's an ASUS X501A, for the love of christ do not buy this model.

I fucking hate people like this. They fuck everything up in near impossible ways then claim they don't remember how they did it

I've never had good experiences with ASUS laptops. Fragile as fuck and have shit like Secureboot. They also have over 40 crapware programs just from them installed when you first buy it

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In his exact words, some bullshit showed up on firefox from when comcast was giving him shit, and something said "follow these steps to fix it" and he started INSTALLING something, and suddenly a HDD password was set

It's a pain in the dick to disassemble too, I had to run a knife along the edges to pop the clips open.
Not that it actually helped, the master password is stored in a non-volatile flash rom, pulling the cmos battery out does jack shit.
WHY IS THERE ALWAYS ONE EXTRA SCREW AFTER IT'S ASSEMBLED?

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Ubuntu is a certified operating system though.

That gave me more feels that it should have.

This guy:
hattiesburgcomputerdoctor.com/

Funny part is, he was after my wife when we were dating. It was kind of sad.

elaborate

EVERY
FUCKING
TIME

or better yet

I've gotten to the point of just telling them that I won't help them anymore.

bonus rage

He used to work tech support where she was a drafting intern and would RDP into her workstation and flirt with her. Things escalated and it eventually got to the point that he got my number somehow and was sending me angry text messages. It ended pretty anti-climatically with us moving across the country, though. Never actually so much as met the guy in person and haven't heard from him since. It was only recently that I found some pretty cringe-inducing videos that he put up for his business.

To be honest, though, he looks like he's doing well with his business. Might just pay him a visit next time we're in town and see if he recognizes me. Might be pretty entertaining.

not certified by microsoft or ASUS

So is that person a FtM tranny or what? Also, a woman you are dating is not your wife, wife means you are married.

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I heard someone that installed Ubuntu on a UEFI board without shit. That person who told me has bad memory.

It can be done, but it's just a severe pain in the ass, and god forbid secureboot bricks the system, or in this poor fucker's case, a hdd password is "accidentally" set which locks the entire system because of no windows boot loader.

;_;

Until what?

Link(s) please?

I have an Aspire VN7-591G and I love it.

It would be better if Nvidia weren't a bunch of niggers and made proper Optimus support for Linux

It's green text tradition newfaggot

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Being an obstinate retard and deliberately misinterpreting greentext is, unfortunately, also a recurring meme - imported from reddit

You're 0 for 2 lad. No. It was not imported from Reddit, in fact, why don't you go back there? Cuckold ass bitch.

Rekt

You're fucking wrong.

Actually it's not, newfaggot. People who are old enough to remember when greentext stories first started on halfchan remember that it never starts with >be me, it just launches into the story.

I'm 27, so you do the math for when I started browsing chans. Around middle school.

halfchan was shit its first years
Is just added to show that the story is about you

This is 100% legit and actually happened irl i shit you not

Again, my hand to God, I am not making this shit up.

This is autistic enough to be real

Why are we comparing dicks here aren't we all ano -- oh, right, this is tech.

This particular comment train is pretty cringeworthy though so I suppose it's okay to be in this thread.

Honestly you should have drawn her some deviant (but cute-tier) furry shit right then and there, and gauged her reaction. Could have been something..

I want to laugh at you but I can see myself doing the same.
Other than the furry shit, what the fuck man

I want to believe such retardation does not exist, even though I encounter it just as much as you people do.
I think it's so traumatic my mind subconsciously phases it out.

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the boot screen?

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Even Stallman uses other peoples cellphones because they aren't really able to track him by just using their cellphone

Look, I respect your position as a captain of austism. I really do.

But what you have to understand is that we're about something far greater. A better world.

>reread posts from the last 4 years

Wow, are the people around you retarded? My grandparents have been using AOL Deskop since 1998 and my grandpa cannnot tell the difference between AOL and SeaMonkey. It makes me want to shoot myself.

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also

i forgot this one, its pretty good

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It most definetly is fucking not.
The only reason "be me" exists is because stupid fucking idiots think "be me" is somehow as relevant to a story as "be a cop" would be.

here's the icing on the cake

Sounds like a deal! Eventually they'll upgrade you because it will be physically impossible to provide specs that bad.

i think she actually paid like $1200 for it at the time

ur stupid

That's normal. A warranty is there to guarantee that the thing you bought will keep working in the condition you bought it in, not that it would get better. Some companies might give you a better replacement if they can't get a hold of the old thing anymore, but that's very rare. You are the Holla Forums cringe of your own story.

Holy shit, Holla Forumss is unironically retarded.

it doesn't entitle you to free upgrades, you idiot.

This.

Is the bar really this low? I'm barely trying. I thought I was an idiot.

teach me how to program user

Yes.

Maybe you should.

Maybe you should learn how to read before calling others stupid, nigger.

how does it make you feel to know you attend a scam school?

A master's from Auburn University is better than nothing. I didn't spend a dime on it myself.

hey fag
teach me how to program

Maybe I'll just make an OP and just take it from the top like I do when I'm tutoring.

user you sound like you don't know what you are doing

just factory reset the fucking BIOS

You don't get it bud, there is no factory resetting the bios.
The master password is stored in non-volatile memory, you can't just take out the cmos battery to reset it. There are instructions on how to rescue the system from a master password, but the HDD (boot) password can't be reset without removing the master password.
ASUS can generate a rescue password for these systems, but only some old rescue passwords have leaked and apparently nobody knows how to generate new ones.
The only way to use an older rescue password, is to boot into windows and set the date/time to a year pre-2012, but the boot password prevents even that from happening.
It is locked up tighter than a nun's cunt and nothing short of wiring a serial port to the memory chip the password is stored on can possibly hope to unlock it. I miss the days when shit like this was so easily unfucked.

>he yells offended in a sperg tone "Alright! ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!!!!!" as if he knew what he's doing

Why do normies always get so angry when they fuck up and someone says they made a mistake or when you give them an advice?

I know that feel bro.

Every thread. EVERY SINGLE THREAD one of you faggots bulk reply with one-line greentexts. Go back to /g/.

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>I miss Craig

Shit like that not being easy to unfuck is kinda the point hto

no :^)

I saw a huge banner in my city, maybe 10-12 m tall, displaying an ad of a Meizu smartphone with a fingerprint scanner.
That banner had a slogan on it:
«Give the finger to those who hunt secrets».

Yeah, no. Greentext , or misuse of the quote functuion, started in november 2011 on Holla Forums.
That's really far from being anywhere near oldfag territory, but then again, you're just one more faggot who thinks memes are fun.
Internet jokes are only fun the instant they're created, and the wider they spread the more cancerous they are.
You might as well eat your own shit if you like recycling so much your humour is from five years ago.

Also nobody cares about number you pull out of your ass, post your ID or shut the fuck up about your age.

Just saw this

I started browsing 4chan in 2011. How come I remember it then?

What the fuck did he just say?

what, I've the same laptop and it doesnt have secureboot, and it came with win7.
Also, it's quite sturdy, I have even ran over it with my car and only had to replace the screen.
The plastic is kinda frail but I've been running it without case screws for like 2 years
I've been recommending ASUS laptops ever since

until IT

I think what he's trying to say is that the rendered model does not necessarily represent that object's collision volume at any given point in time.

It is correct that the 3D model is the property of the GPU and that the hitboxes are managed by the CPU (in most cases), but the model and hitboxes should always use the exact same properties, and thus never effectively be separate as he implies.

There were greentext stories way before 2011

This is not true, for example many games will use cylinders and cubes as hitboxes for detailed models. He isn't wrong. The only similar property they should have is position, other than that the hitbox only has to crudely approximate the model.

>>>/kys/

Its incredibly annoying when someone responds to more than two people

ya dun fooged oldfag.

You're one sad stupid fuck

youtube.com/watch?v=2kxWnpSwL_k

Top level Cringe

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what the actual fuck?

could you explain?

You should fix all the security vulnerabilities you can find. If he flips his shit, say something like "well, you were so worried about security with the last change I made, that I thought you'd appreciate a more secure program"

ole.michelsen.dk/blog/mapping-relational-table-data-to-a-tree-structure-in-mvc.html

I think you might be the one with autism, user.
Though he's pretty autismal too, if he's literally recoiling from the cord and scared of it.

It's just an underage shit kid trying very much to belong here.

If it's even true, it kind of sounds like his brother is 8 years old or so, and he keeps warning his brother about stupid shit you don't need to be worried about, making him a paranoid wreck.
My mum kind of did that to my little brother when he was young; he ended up afraid of dumb shit like clogging a toilet will flood the house, or that leaving a window open at night (on the second floor) will let a thief sneak in somehow (there's still a screen).

Kids believe dumb shit and get over-worried, so I'm surprisingly annoyed at that poster, even though he's also probably underageb&.

it's a meme u dip

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i once had to investigate why a production application server was playing up.

Turns out my boss logged in to it and stopped the application so that he could run his own heavy processes.

I couldn't believe it at first

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You are retarded. You can make a single post but at least have one argument for each reply instead of just spewing memes like a /g/arbage bin.

Every fucking time. I just order online now.

It's like some kind of alternate uuniverse where Holla Forums didn't exist.

nice work bro

WHY DID YOU NIGGERS MAKE ME INTO AN AUTIST

Hello b31002 aka f3f6e0, you sure are retarded.

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This is one of the first things you get taught when doing database design, and if they don't explicitly teach it to you, it's fucking obvious to deduce once they explain self-referentiality (which they always do, unless you are being taught about databases in Uganda). In fact, I used it extensively in my first database project to build virtual filesystems.

How the FUCK must the other programmers who look up to this guy be.

Just say "gnu/linux" and "free software" when you have to say it.
And don't give a fuck that's what I do and I have pretty good results with these people.

If they ask you give them a short explication of the bad connotation of open source and why linux wouldn’t even be if it wasn't for gnu and then just Email them these links

gnu.org/philosophy/open-source-misses-the-point.en.html
and
gnu.org/gnu/why-gnu-linux.html

Hello ignorant maintenance guy (aka=not a dev) could you explain this please I would like to know more.

Not everyone has an affinity for masochism.

Living at home still I get that all the time, once I got a £20 Maplin card though, so i could buy 1 AUX cord.

no

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I'm going to die and everyone is still going to think I have a degree when I'm actually a drop out.

Are you making any money? This situation is unsustainable, user. That $15k debt isn't going to just go away. You need to get a job.

Why are his fucking eyes so fucking huge.

bonus

After said coworker went on vacation, I gave the kid some old cisco stuff I had lying around and a CCENT book. Not enough time to properly teach him, sadly, but it's better than nothing.

You know they don't, why would you even ask? Its almost as if you were be facetious. >Calling gentoo and libreboot sophisticated-technology.
just stop it.

>>>/reddit/

(checked)

Nice double meaning. :^)

You know I, don't, want that.

So this just happened today.

well uh just install gentoo and freely view the data on it because chances are the encryption will also be some proprietary shit that linux can just bypass.

(I've had this happen before, at least with a Windows encrypted USB, I could still get data off of it, just not write on linux.)

Okay champ.

In an ER model, you can point to the same entity through a 1:n relation to create a self reference. This means that in your database you get a primary key for each node, and also a parent_key for the parent entry (which can be the primary key of the entry if you want to make a root node). You can then navigate the tree you have built in your table much like you would navigate your computer's filesystem.

I am unsure about how efficient this is for large trees, but honestly, who cares about that? It's the simplest approach to trees you could build in a relational database. Anything else would probably be convoluted.

Stupid fucking cuckchanner retard.
kys

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Not if it's an RSA token or FIDO U2F key. Those are for 2-factor authentication, and the private key is held in a section of the key isolated from direct external access. I've got one. It's handier than remembering a secure password, and more secure than using SMS or email based 2 factor.

Around 1998 or so I wanted to get non-dialup internet in my new apartment. Time Warner was the only option but they required a Windows or Mac for setup. Having a tech come out and do this was not optional like it is today. I only had Linux and this would be a problem. They refused to hook it up.
So, I checked out a Mac laptop from work. Figured I'd have them set it up on that then I could go back to using Linux. Two techs came out and struggled trying to set it up on the Mac for an hour so I told them what I was doing and to let me try on Linux. Worked fine, done. One of the techs admired my Linux setup and said he regretted not learning about it and going to ITT tech instead. I told him how to set up Linux, I wonder if he ever did. Maybe his life changed that day.

I'm not sure if it's possible with that type of flash drive, but I did offer to take a look at it on my Linux desktop. (He would have paid me regardless of whether or not I found anything.) He decided to just quit working on it and give it back to the customer. I think he might have been trying to make a copy, or at least I'm assuming that's what he was trying to do since he wasn't giving me very much information. (He wasn't trying to be secretive. He's just shit at communicating.)

here, an entire thread so full of computer illiterate retarded ricing you'll cringe your face off:

Maybe you'd make a good sysadmin? I know some people have gotten employed by self-teaching and getting a cert. You can also get an AAS in it.

The GPU renders the model, and the CPU processes the physics. He's probably trying to say that complex models demand GPU resources rather than CPU resources and vice versa.

He's saying that your posts are low effort. And you're still spamming the thread up if you're replying to a lot of people at once, because it makes your post longer to scroll past. I'm probably pushing it a little with this one.

Share some of your Doom WADs with us, user. Every time somebody praised me like that I was terrified that they'd start talking about history or my own culture and make my spaghetti drop. You can just be really good at some things and really bad at others. Share some of your Doom WADs with us, user please

It's a good crash test though

Mother fucking spark plugs I shit you not.

>user you forgot to think of the mouse xD

I wouldn't put it past those placebo cables to run on gasoline.

its funny because they're mining fingerprints to send straight to the NSA

im not sure what you're even talking about

It was a server

Am I beyond saving?
Should I just fucking kill myself?

Everyone does this. Even mechanics.

another skiddie thread for the pile