Casualties of Bore

I remember when someone posted the first Civil War II page, of Tony blaming Carol for Rhodey's death, and I thought "that's stupid, how can it be her fault, people die in fights, y'know". And then someone posted Civil War II issue 1 entirely, and it was clearly ALL CAROLS FAULT. There was no reason for anyone to die, they could have called Thor and Iron Man, along with a dozen other absurdly powerful people.

I don't really follow these threads, but does Hellcat even… do things? The style is so cartoony, how does it interact with the rest of the universe? WHY does it interact with the rest of the universe? Wouldn't it be logical to be just a stand alone thing that happens to have Marvel characters in it?

Wait, how did she suddenly change uniforms? Is "instant change" a power she has now?

How the fuck did last issue gain 2,000 more readers?

IT BEGINS.

Patsy devastated by news assemble the league of…well, look at them. I've noticed a lot in amateur comics when something dramatic needs to be said they'll just lazily poetically put white text on a black background. Not saying this is lazy, unthinking filler, of course. Marvel wouldn't hire that.

Now that you mention it, I have no fucking clue. There's shards of…something on the floor in the next panel, so I'm assuming it's glass. Unless the star portals are made of glass, which would be goddamned stupid. Almost as stupid as star portals themselves.

She does everything Kate Leth does in real life, only "super heroery".

Comic shops ordered more because of Jessica Jones. They're speculative like that.

Isn't the proper thing to turn off your Cellphone so you don't fuck with potentially vital equipment when visiting someone on life support?

I mean, Could sworn most hospital have large TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING CELLPHONE signs.

The league of extraordinary gentle people have a very queer positive hug and plan to avenge She-Hulk anyway they can.

Since this is Hellcat, this means sitting and talking while Patsy brings up some implied mass psychosis that Kate has.

I kept wondering why all the Hellcat covers include either action or cameos that don't actually happen. That's pretty goddamned shady when you think about it.

Patsy is magic and can changer into her uniform Sailor Moon style.

So far shes gone to shopping and smoothies with her friends, argued about bedlices with her landlord, gone to arcade and used her superpowers to selflessly secure her book deal.

I'm still wondering why is she called a superhero again. She doesnt do anything heroic.

How has this series not been cancelled yet?

The sales numbers don't justify its existence.

Oh fuck.

Patsy is lying out her ass. Sharon could totally visit She-Hulk, as could many of Marvel's super villains, since Ultimate's HQ has no fucking security.

Don't forget her magically donning and removing her costume for all of 3 panels.

Wherein there is no action at all.

I'm shocked that the sheltered, emotionally stunted comic book writer with terminal GOTIS wouldn't know what happens during a hospital visit, let alone anything remotely bad happening in life. Utterly shocked.

This reminds me of a computer game called Life Is Strange, which is less heavy on cultural Marxism as trailers and cutscenes would suggest, but is clearly written for spoiled, vapid rich girls looking to collect things like computer games or comic books for status without actually taking the time to experience what it is they're collecting or why others might appreciate it even if they end up not liking it.

You can do a lot of magical things by sucking the right cock.

Patsy reminisces over happier times, like combat training with She-Hulk for some reason, braiding each other's hair, and stopping white male robbers from taking advantaged of oppressed minorities, and talking about street harassment.

Nothing happens in this book. They're either sitting around and talking or they're standing around and talking.

This is a real, actual Marvel Comic.

This is sacrilege.

Once again, Kate…Patsy looks like fucking Shippo from Inuyasha.

Patsy and She-Hulk decide to sit around and talk in the flashback while she sits around and talks with some other people.

Realistic writing.

That description of the mugging, however, sounds oddly specific. Like it might have happened to Kate before.

All this begs the question, why didn't Captain Marvel call in THE ultimate hero to take down Thanos? Just drop Patsy in there and Thanos wouldn't have stood a chance.

Our character cameo / person Kate wants to have sex with this issue is Jubilee! She says hi and then leaves! It feels like the comic is about to get underway, but it's actually completely over!

This is boring crap.

I want she-hulk to die already. Kate is trying to delay the bads news to Patsy hard.

THIS IS BULLSHIT

Are they legally allowed to have this much NOTHING happen in so many pages? Aren't there laws???

Welcome to Kate Leth's life.

I'd say buy a post card, but they're all manila envelopes.

But really, nothing happened in this comic. There isnt any stuff that we could even laught at.

Perhaps Kate have discovered about that we have these kinds of threads, and so she have made this issue so boring and lacking of interesing stuff, in the hopes to make an empty thread.

You could say that this entire series is written based on Kate herself and that this rambling for a whole issue on one character that didn't really even do much for the series might just because Kate really likes the character and wants to have sex with it–hence the homoerotic overtones whenever Kate and Patsy are together and why the big strong woman always seems to rescue Patsy whenever she's in danger. You could argue that, if you wanted to.

But don't think too hard about that! How about some absolutely real fan letters that are from real fans!

This could mean Marvel gave a big ol' fuck you to her horseshit.

Is this true? I don't think a system so unreliable can be true.

They might as well be, even Uwe Boll have those deeply devoted 3 fans (one of them being his relative) who keep his fan-forums alive.

Maybe they are sending fan-mail IRONICALLY

You know what that tells me?

Kate can't get her fucking scripts in on time.

Holy fuck, you might have a point there.

Goddamn, that's probably true. This is the only comic where I actively see such a dissonance between cover and comic. This boggles my mind because there's so little in this comic to write. Kate just writes about herself, Ctrl F and replace her name to 'Patsy' and then adds some fanfiction about beating up white men and how gay people love her, especially She-Hulk who just adores her all the time.

This is most apparent whenever Patsy gets solemn and talks about some tough stuff she's going through. Said tough stuff is never brought up, it's just the run off of the writer being a manic depressive with self-harm scars longer than any comic script she's ever written.

Nothing really happens in these comics anyways. How hard could it be to write them? This probably means that Kate just waits until the last moment. This also means that Marvel now puts up with a writer who can't write something that gets higher than 15,000 sales nor can even finish the scripts on time. All for the sake of what? Diversity?

Oh god, It's the shit that won't quit.

It's pretty hard when you're spending most of your time posting selfies to twitter.

Consider this. We're all used to Brittany Williams lazy art in this book. Now, I used to think she was just a mediocre artist who couldn't handle the deadlines, but if Leth is actually horribly late on her stories, that could mean Williams isn't getting the time necessary to make a finished product. This also explains Natasha Allegri's completely unfinished artwork from #6. They're not getting the stories until zero hour.

This puts the entire book in a new perspective.

Covers are done beforehand because they're usually submitted to Diamond for the solicitations.

That just sucks for the artist, because people will be judging their work off of this book. They could turn in something real nice down the line that people would just ignore, because all they know them from is this rushed mess. I mean… shit, those first two panels of Jubilee are just baby scribbles, like something you put on the page with a note saying "finish drawing later".

Here's Jubilee! For no good reason other than because she's supposed to be cool and she's probably the only X-Man these people would remember!

I'll say.

Leave it to Leth to sabotage her own work.

Wait, didn't She-Hulk de-Hulked when she got into a coma?

Who would want to get his cock sucked by that mouth full of yellow teeth?

You know, any drama that could have been had by the shit that happened in Civil War was completely extinguished when someone decided to call Howard the fucking Duck.

Someone write her a letter asking about her random costume change and then changing out of it. Pretend to be a huge fan, take a picture of your cat, whatever. But I have to know why the costume change was even there AT ALL.

Looks like Howard the Seagull from that angle. How fucking inept can you be that you cant even draw a proper duck beak and keep it consistent?

Don't ever talk shit about my nigga Howard. He's the best character in this mess.

He doesn't feel appropriate here. He shouldn't be second fiddle like this.

You're right. They should have just made a Howard the Duck comic.

Why can't ISIS strike the offices of Marvel?

Here's another thing that no-one apparently noticed. Leth couldn't find a way to inform Patsy of She-Hulks status and so just had Patsy wake up in the middle of the night and go "She-Hulk is in trouble!" before summoning somone to exposit to her what happened.

No slow realisation of She-Hulk being missing as she fails to turn up for work, no desperately calling her phone and breaking in to her house to try to find her, no worried conversations between friends terrified that She-Hulk has gotten fatally caught up with some villians scheme, no climactic confrontation/argument with a Carol Danvers who blatantly feels like shit for fucking up and worried sick that Stark is going to make things worse.

Just "Oh, She-Hulk is in trouble." "Why yes Patsy, she's in a coma."

Also, I just love how little of a shit the doctor here gives to a stranger turning up at the bedside of a super-hero in critical condition. It's evident that she doesn't give a shit about her job and is just going through the motions, thus how despite claiming that she needs to get security she just goes on with her work hoping that Patsy will piss off.

While we're at it though, has the "Civil War" part of the event actually happened yet? In all these tie-ins people keep talking about how there's a shit-ton of super-hero infighting going on but so far all I've seen is a lot of people talking with the occasional argument, no-ones actually fought anyone or even had a reason to. I'm not even sure why they're even supposed to be fighitng other than the event being "Civil War" rather than "Heated Disagreement".

Suicide when?

Nope. Maybe next issue, since Tony got some BIG REVELATION about how Ulysses's power works. But I don't know how it will go from something he can just EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE, to people punching eachother. Course it didn't make sense in Civil War 1 either, but they got to it so quickly you just had to kinda accept "they're fighting now".

So I've only read this issue and the start of last issue (when I got bored and just stopped reading).

If you guys had to summarize, in basic terms, what makes an average issue of Hellcat, what would you say? What kinda stuff should every issue have, to make sure it fits in line with the issues that have come?

How about I make things interesting. I'll draw 8 half assed pages of Holla Forums very own HELLCAT ISSUE! But there are rules, and correct me if I misunderstand what they should be:

That means you have to write it AS SHE WOULD WRITE IT. As far as understand, that means:
I won't know who most of these characters (of any of Patsy's supporting cast) are though, so please give me a reference or tell me who I'm drawing if it isn't just Patsy or She-Hulk.
This last one you can be yourself a bit. Seriously, one of you can just be as petty as you want about some real life annoyance you experienced.

Try to give other anons a chance, so each of you gets ONE PAGE. No more. I'll draw it as it comes, as shitty as I can. The deadline for writing is in the hour, so you're finishing last minute like the real Kate. I will do as best I can within two hours from now. GO!

Pretend this cover was done 6 months ago and has NOTHING to do with the story

Did Ms. America break through their fucking window or is this teleporting and if so why does teleporting look like breaking through a fucking window

Why does Hellcat have to break in to see She-Hulk? Was She-Hulk embarrassed to be 'best' friends with her and never told anyone? (I could easily sympathize with that)

Why doesn't She-Hulk's nurse/doctor/whatever the fuck immediately alert security that someone she's never seen before is in there?

'Jen is hurt'

HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THIS?

Finally Howard appears in something even more embarrassing than his fucking movie

gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

DUDE LESBIANS LMAO

Pottery
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DUDE PIZZA BABIES SO WACKY XD

bravo Letch
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"Okay, so if I schedule the Toxic Avenger for the landfill job at three, that should leave enough extra time for him to get over to 4th Avenue at five and help out the Sheffields with their sewage problem.

"But that's going to be at least a two-person job, and crocodile man's shift at the pet store won't be ending until six. Have I got anybody who can cover for him until he gets there, or…?"

"Graaaaagh! Why do these stupid spreadsheets have to be so complicated?"

"Oh, great. There goes yet another one."

I think I was able to achieve Marvel quality here.

Oh yes, that definitely hits the same fine standard of quality as the actual Hellcat comic book. Well-done, user.

Thanks, I work hard for those Marvel bucks.

I guess everyone else is asleep, so we'll give our stand in Kate's an extra day. I'll check the thread tomorrow and draw more pages if there are more to draw.

It's amazing… this Civil War is so fucking bad that it's making the other Civil War look like a profound masterpiece.

How in the world is any of this happening? Is this even selling? Who is buying this?

Holy shit, this is legitimately better than the past 8 issues we've read. I'm not fucking joking. And with that, not only are you grossly overqualified to be a Leth, but I, the next writer, will put us back on track to genuine Hellcat!

Row 1 - These two panels are 50 / 50 on the page
Panel1:

Panel 2:
Patsy: "Who are you, new mysterious Hellcat? And where do you get off stealing my look? That's Cat-ural appropriation!"

Next row - These two panels are 25 / 75
Panel3:

Panel4: Mystery Hellcat, who is She-Hulk (keep this secret Brittney or I sweat to fucking christ i wont even) is still on the window sill and Hellcat is posing like 'oooh im gonna get you'

Row 3 - Two panels, this time 75 / 25
Panel 5: The mysterious all-new all-secretive Hellcat backward leaps out the window and onto the sidewalk

Panel 6: Patsy yells out the window

I think everyone being asleep is also real Marvel workplace accurate, as obviously quality control is forever dead at the desk nowadays for this unfinished traced-shoujo crap to be allowed out the door.
—-

"How can I be out there if I'm in here?" She ponders to herself, for she is the kind of person the severely retarded mock for being so goddamn stupid, "why is outside!me so buff? And why do I desperately yearn to have lesbian sex and cuddles with her?"

"I got it!" She thinks with stark realization, "when I broke that keyboard I must have ruptured the space-time continuum and entered a universe where everyone looks like my forever unobtainable fantasy crush She-Hulk!"

>She-Hulk meanwhile is observing and laughs at her display of mental deficiency quirky and adorable mannerisms. she then moves to open the window and announce herself, only to rip the entire window out of its frame like a muscle-bound moron, setting the stage for exponential idiocy a shared bashfulness and clumsiness for even more Meet Cute shenanigans!

This is new simpson-tier level of gratuitous cameo:

Also when was she cured of vampirism? Did they retcon that during Secret Wars? I liked vampirelee

You're doing great, Kate! As long as we keep up the work, Marvel will forget to cancel our book for the 8 month in a row!

I like the way you anons think. I approve of this Superior HellcatⓇ.

On unrelated note, i keep mistakenly think i can anagram Kate Leth into Hellcat for some reason now, even though i know i can't.

I mean i can make heelkatt though, and i guess that is apt too.

And they say men are the ones with privilege over women. I have to actually put work into my life to get things done, Kate Leth can just clamp her gross manjaw around some fat dude's dink and get whatever she wants handed to her on a silver plate.

...

Brilliant, Kate! We're taking this story from all angles, simultaneously! That'll show that guy on twitter who wanted AIDS!

Legit top shelf work right here.

or you can not be a worthless piece of shit and be in a position where women line up to suck your dick for some work

What did he mean by this?

He means we haven't yet had a eth… I mean, MARVEL NOW guest character in our Hellcat script.

But actually he meant Ms. America is Ms. South or Central America, I think

Carol Danvers needs to show up, and she needs to have a different hairstyle in every panel.

Is she really a Ms. South or Central America? By the looks of her outfit's color scheme, it's good ol' red, white, and blue.

Sounds like (((marvel writers))) are implying she is American. I don't know about you but I imagine a "Ms. America" as a bombshell with flowing, blonde hair and an outgoing personality, not George Lopez's daughter.

I don't fucking know.

Who cares? Even if you wanted to go with the "white people are the majority, so Ms. America should be white" why the fuck would she be blonde? That's still fairly rare. She should be a fucking Indian if anything. But that's just us playing identity politics, over a character I don't think either of us actually cares about.

I'm just basing my thoughts based on typical 50s Americana, and usually the "cover girls" are just blonde women for everything in that period. Plus, Marilyn Monroe was an icon of that era and she is definitely a role for the "blonde bombshell" idea.

So an alcoholic who runs a casino.

I didn't even know who she was until I read this comic, so I might be missing A LOT of context and I'm just assuming marvel made her a taco to stick it to that meanie head Trump.

I'd read about a Alcoholic Casino Running Cynical/Grumpy Indian Teenage Hero Girl who is to be a "Truly Accurate American" as opposed to Caps "American Dream", sounds like it could be a fun concept.

But that would be politically incorrect, so it won't happen.

I saw an out of context page of her in a comic with kid Loki, which if I recall was years ago. Don't be so afraid of SJWs that you think every single character is a personal attack on precious Trump.

Who the fuck cares about the 50s though? Not even pulling current year on you, it just ISN'T the 50s. The 50s was shit. You just are coming off like you're trying to fit in with how edgy and 'racist' you are. I don't see what you think you have to prove, but just being a caricature of what you think is expected of you here isn't something I'm in the mood for right now.

None of us have to try to be alt right idiots to fit in, because we don't have to be that to oppose SJW bullshit. It feels gross overcompensating to make sure not to be labelled "the enemy".

Fucking sucks mang.

Jesus, relax. Considering that Marvel made/is making a comic with Trump as MODOK, I wouldn't think it's too far fetched or out of this world. I'm not even looking to start shit user, you're the one that seems to get upset with the implication that I don't picture a character named "Ms. America" the same way you do.

Just take it easy, man.

She is basically "Ms. America" because America is her first name IIRC.

Like "America Chavez" or something like that.

She is part of that "Practical ONLY, NO SPANDEX OR CODENAMES ALLOWED" wave of teen heroes if i got shit right.

Because you're not being "ha ha, fun" racist, you're saying you think America is just white people, and that's ACTUALLY RETARDED. I'm an old guy from the 80s, I didn't come here with the first exodus for some alt right dream, I did it because halfchan was no longer a place of free speech. So maybe I'll get some flak for saying you sound like an edgelord, but that's what you sound like. And I feel this place has gotten to be an echo chamber, which is part of why we don't see much creative stuff going on. And an idealized view of the 50s? The decade that FUCKED COMICS the hardest?

Just something about you set me off. Maybe that really bothers you, I'm not too concerned. Just figured I'd say how I felt.

Do they at least give her a big ass sometimes?

Well, that explains it. Again, I didn't even know who she was until she broke into Patty's home in this issue.

You alright, user? When I said how I pictured her, I mean as a typical "Americana 50s pin-up" girl, not some character FROM a comic book from the 50s era. I'm trying to have a reasonable discussion. You're saying this is an echo chamber, but I'm not trying to shut you down immediately and if I REALLY wanted to be some edgelord I could have said "hurr hurr make me a fucking taco bitch you have to go back to mexico stupid beaner xDDDD".

Go figure that different people picture different characters with different characteristics in THEIR mind, quite a revelation, to be honest.

My current theories as to why it's still around are TPB sales and editorial fiat. Wil Moss isn't going to let one of his babies die.

I don't think you're aware of exactly how much dick you have do suck to work in mainstream comics.

You need to be incredibly well connected and put up with a lot of shit to work there, which explains why they're starving for talent right now.

You forgot the part where her "full-blooded" indian dad would extremely racist and hateful toward her, calling her an "Apple" and shit.

So she'd probably live off the rez.

COLOUR THE WINE GLASS ONE WAY OR THE OTHER, DON'T FUCKING SWITCH

...

Her identity is public knowledge, isn't it? Doesn't explain why she was in costume at first though… nothing explains that.

No more would be Kates? I could leave a random "script to layout" thread open on >>>/comic/ later, see if that inspires anyone. Might actually be a more interesting exercise than a drawthread. It of course wouldn't be limited to just doing pointless Hellcat pages.

To be fair she sucks as a superhero so she doesnt have that many threats to her normal life to worry about.

Well, it's kind of weird how you've drawn both She-Hulk Patsy dashing away AND breaking through the wall to introduce herself. I suppose I'll use the broken wall continuity since it's less interesting.

"Whoa oopsie so sorry patsy I will fix that I promise"
"Oh it's perfectly fine, stuff happens HEY WAITAMINUTE, just who are you!? I know you aren't me, since I'm me and I can't be you! And how do you know my name?!"

"I'm glad you asked, Patsy! I have something VERY important to tell you - but not here!"
"Ooh, that green-haired goblin! I can't let her get away!"

Remember, this is Marvel standards, so "dashing through" should look more like "walking calmly into." Leave room in the panel for a thought bubble for Patsy's inane inner monologue.

So much has happened! Are you sure we can keep up this breakneck pace, Kate?

Why do you hate us?

Are you talking to OP for posting this, or God for allowing it?

Both.

"Looks like I'm out numbered and facing a hulk better stand here and ask politely if these super heroes will fight me"

"Oh no! She was thrown at an arc! There's no way I could possibly dodge a delayed attack with fixed landing point"

Say, does anybody remember when superhero comics had strong female characters? They used to kick ass and save people, not sit around talking about boys?

I guess they don't call it the "regressive left" for nothing.

The sad thing is, working on these disjointed scripts that Holla Forums is tossing me, I can see the appeal of a "nothing happens" comic. But, even when nothing happens, it has to be interesting. There aren't even really JOKES or anything in these Hellcat books, things just sorta wander from place to place. The characters don't do much to be likable, so it doesn't have the appeal of some moe slice of life anime. There is no underlying wonder or weirdness to the world except the occasional costume. Things just… I don't know. It's like somehow less than nothing is happening. People who make actual autobiographical works have more action and wit in them.

>>>Holla Forums
Sorry honey, but Holla Forums grew up. We're not afraid of muh feminism and muh other races now.

If kate leth actually liked Marvel comics at all, she'd write a comic that had action and punching and adventure. She doesn't because she's not REALLY a comics fan, she's just a tumblr user and real life adulteress skank who performed oral sex on the right people in the comics industry (or let them fuck her ass, she's admitted to doing anal before) and got a job. She's a comic creator in the same way that any other tumblr fanartist making ships of their favorite steven universe characters is a comic creator. She made a comic where she whined about her cushy privileged job working as a female comic store employee, cashing in on the instant "geek" cred that she gets just for having that specific job, and for getting a WACKY UNUSUAL haircut that she dyes all sorts of colors, but she regularly insults and denigrates superhero comics, because they're not made for her, and that OFFENDS her. In short, kate leth is a cunt who should die of AIDS.

This is about as boring and confusing as the real Hellcat. You should forward this to Marvel and make a career you'll eventually ruin by creating something that is actually good and enjoyable to read.

They're the Cool Ultra Neat Tumblr Squad.

The C.U.N.T.S.

I kind of miss when Jubilee was considered lame if only because it means untalented pieces of shit like Leth aren't writing her.

Wow, you really have no idea, do you?
SURE IS SUMMER IN HERE

>>>/lgbt/

...

Into the oven you go, Shlomo.

I can't muster the willpower to make a sardonic comment about that. This comic is draining my will to live.

nice b8

You can create a comic about people just talking to each other but then you need to be a very good storyteller to do it. Dialogue has to be top-tier quality and even within a wordy comic you need tons of visual storytelling anyway. If the characters just stand around or sit doing nothing, with all the panels being just talking heads with an empty backround, it would be an incredibly boring scene not only in a comic but in a book and a movie as well.

Kate Leth simply sucks as a writer. If she was an illustrator, she would be one of those deviantart retards who just trace animu pictures and dont sacrifice a thought on things like anatomy, structure, composition and values because she never bothered to learn them.

HAHAHAHAH

KATE LETH IS FUCKING TROLLING US!!!

Wow, someone got fucking TRIGGERED to samefag this much. And I know he's probably going to come around with a few more posts saying "No, I really am five dudes who all cared about THIS ONE POST that wasn't directed a 'me'", but that would almost be more pathetic. You can't even pretend "no one would go to that trouble" because you (or someone as autistic as you) started at least five threads the other night, one of which pretending to be a janitor, stirring shit up about anime. One or two completely spastic autistics don't command the board, just because you're a special snowflake with mental problems.

Seriously, I know you're thinking about opening photoshop so you can post "proof" that you're not samefagging, but do you think it's that important?

Aren't you talking this a little too seriously?

He didn't post five times, so he's ahead of the curve it seems.

Where are these fucking pages, Kate? I've drawn 4 pages of her chasing She Hulk, can I just get the pointless cameo and "page that starts with an empty panel and text" over with?

THIS IS THE VERY FUCKING THING EVERYONE'S BEEN ASKING SINCE THE FIRST VOLUME OF THAT GARBAGE
And apparently ALL OTHER HEROES WENT OUT TO FIGHT… BUT SHE DOESNT ?!
Suicide used to never be the answer. Then they made this comic.

10/10

Oh boy here comes "everyone who disagrees with me is totally one person" guy
You're not paranoid at all.
Holla Forums is actually just two people, you and the meanie with different opinions. You figured it out.

Fighting is icky! Moving boxes and having coffee with friends, that's what the comic needs to be about!

Now post four more times pretending to be different people. I know you want to

After thinking about it for a while, most superhero comics are about people just talking talking to each other. There's maybe an action beat here and there, but it's never a full issue straight of pure punching.

I swear some of you are just looking for shit to get mad about. A hebrew filename, how simple and effective.

I try to believe it's just goons responding to themselves in an effort to derail every thread on Holla Forums by telling anons to fuck off to boogeyman boards, because I really don't want to believe this site is so full of legitimate retards that literally any thread can be derailed by the lowest energy shitposts.

Are people on Holla Forums really that autistic that they couldn't see this user was just baiting and people are LOOKING to find something to sperg about? Oy vey.

Issue 2 of the Civil War II X-Men tie in is a lot of that. Like three pages are spend with Nightcrawler talking about why Ulysses is a bad idea, and most of the book is about different character motivations. The Brood at the start are just something for Storm and Captain Marvel to punch while talking, and the spy vs spy stuff with Fantomex and Gambit isn't 100% needed by the plot (it could be done in a single speech bubble saying how that turned out) but is in there to provide an important action beat the issue wouldn't have otherwise. And since it was the only Civil War II related book I can honestly just call "good" and not "meh" or "shit" I think it's a pretty decent example of how to balance talking and action. And the talking has consequences, as you can feel the stakes starting to rise.

Go back to Holla Forums, retard.

Much like the real Kate Leth, Holla Forums seems to have fucked off and stopped caring halfway through. I think the standard lazy creator's way to end the comic at this point would be a couple of double-page splash panels for the final pages, with a note on the last page to buy the next issue for the exciting conclusion to the story.

That strikes me as lacking in pop culture references, though, so perhaps you should have one page devoted to a Sailor Moon-style transformation sequence where Patsy gets into her costume, then a full-page splash panel where she jumps down to the street below in pursuit of the mystery Hellcat, and then a double-page splash panel of her chasing the mystery Hellcat through the city?

Also, stick Captain Marvel, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, and Spider-Man in various random places in the background in those last three pages. We need for this to feel like Marvelverse New York, after all.

A lot of that comes from the more soap operatic style that Claremont helped popularize on Uncanny. He'd have lots of issues where little to no action occurred. The thing is, of course, that Claremont was an absolutely amazing writer and most of the modern writers wouldn't be able to hold the jocks of even your middle tier older writers like Messner-Loebs.

Go back to Mexico, Pedro. Stop getting so upset because someone doesn't picture someone called "MS. AMERICA" the same way you do, faggot. Marvel has a character called "CAPTAIN AMERICA" as a blonde haired, pure-hearted American and seeing as I don't read comics religiously and didn't know about who Ms. America was, I just assumed she was going to be a gender swapped version of Steve Rogers. Is it just the sweet Summer season that makes people on Holla Forums so much more prone to sperging out about any comment or was Holla Forums always full of hyper sensitive faggots that grind their teeth at the mention of race?

...

Fuck, man… you could say A LOT LESS, and appear not nearly as stupid. If someone calls you out for throwing around buzzwords or trying to look cool about something you don't know the basics about (information you could get from lurking, asking, or going to a wiki), why should anyone give a fuck what you think. You think we're asking too much of you? Then lurk until you feel comfortable, but if you're seriously going to get angry at a 10 hour old post, that just takes a cheap shot at you, you're not ready for prime time.

You're still upset about a guest character in a Hellcat issue! A guest character who isn't even as important as JUBILEE.

I'm more annoyed that the artist does make it look like she's shattering a window when she teleports. I guess she makes a portal and then punches it? Could we have gotten a sound effect or something? Just like how Hellcat's ability to change into or out of her costume doesn't have a sound effect or anything.

stop derailing this thread (it's already screwed at this point) and taking every piece of bait for fucks sake

Wait, so she didn't actually break through that window? I must have been seeing things if that glass shattering was her teleportation.

That guy being so easily baited aside, I was curious. She's from some other dimension… and I didn't care reading the rest, because who cares. No relation at all to the 1940s Ms. America who also isn't blonde, despite anons weird fixation

Fuck, this wasn't secret information I pulled up, just look this stuff up if you're going to be this much of a spaz about something.

I guess she does make portals and punch them. If Hellcat was better written or drawn, we probably would have known that in some way. It just looks like shattered glass, and since she's a pretty minor character (and this comic has dumb stuff in it) we assumed she charged into the window for no reason.

…Was this character created by a high school student or something?

Kate's Freudian slip or freaky fetish? Take your bets people.

Is this really mutually exclusive?

If I made a character raised by magical lesbians or whatever, she'd have a different power than punching portals.

Man, Holla Forums has really been crowded with a lot of… I don't know how to describe some of the people coming here recently.

It seems out of place, I mean, punching a portal seems impractical. To be honest, I think it was just a drawing error and they forgot to remove the glass. Maybe they originally went with her breaking through the window but thought "nah, that's too stupid" and went with the portals instead.

From what I'm reading, she can also fly and has superhuman speed, strength, and invulnerability. And I suppose that what made me think a high school student created her was less the 'raised by lesbians' part of her backstory, and more the 'parents died while heroically sacrificing themselves to save her home pocket dimension, thus pulling it in to interact with the rest of the universe, and then she ran away from home and spent some time wandering aimlessly between various alternate universes'. I feel like I've seen variations on that particular story note across quite a few different deviantart OCs over the years.

Then again, my last attempt at making a donutsteel of my own was a loli clone of Cyclops who was created by Mojo, implanted with monitoring equipment and false memories of having been created by aliens, and then released onto 616 Earth as part of a big ratings grab, so I'm probably not the best judge for these sorts of things.

Nigga, if you don't have a job at Marvel in the next 10 years, and work that into canon, I'll be deeply disappointed.

Why would you want him to suffer like that, user? Do you enjoy people suffering?

While I'm on it, I looked up Patsy. She can indeed summon her costume, though it doesn't really say way she got this power after returning from the dead. She also does have some psychic power, so her lusting after deep friendship with She Hulk actually is fine for her just waking up and knowing she got hit by an… anti-Thanos missle.

What I'm basically saying, is yes, Bendis is worse than this. Because this is a comic that is meant to be interesting but boring, but is just boring. But Civil War II is meant to be interesting and exciting, and it's neither.

… I probably shouldn't answer that.

Nah, I'm just an idea-guy. At best, I might stat the character out and use her in a tabletop rpg campaign at some point, but writing her alongside a whole bunch of other characters all at once is too much work.

Sounds like a fun character. See if you can get some sorta power boost for doing things that get good ratings.

Well, I read some of her earlier comics and she loves to dress up in all sorts of pretty outfits so it is fitting that she can summon her costume. They're breddy good, and they're still entertaining, pretty much masterpieces compared to this version of Patty's """"""""""adventures""""""""""".

I'm sure your ideas could be put to better use in other places that aren't like Marvel, where it seems like creativity isn't encouraged anymore and whatever little is left, is pretty much away from the spotlight and no one will try to shill for your comic (the new Carnage being a good example).

In most of the superhero systems that I know of, it would be pretty hard to model something like that, and with the way the Mojoverse works, only Mojo himself is really supposed to get a power boost while enjoying high ratings. That said, if I were playing MHR, I could probably make it a custom milestone and get some nice XP out of the deal, at least.

Yeah, the big two in general don't really seem to be very solid places to work. Don't they both have long histories of doing some rather shady things to fuck their employees over in order to maximize profits?

Yes, a lot of times, both DC and Marvel have done a lot of crooked dealings when it comes to the character rights and their creators, like the whole Jack Kirby fiasco. If you think modern Marvel is crap, it's always been quite messy with its staff and a lot of shady backdoor deals. Plus, I don't think that user would appreciate being around people who only worry about how to push their agendas in their upcoming issues rather than worrying about how to make an entertaining story.

Patsy is such a good person! I hope she She-Hulk dies because of this.

Those powers could actually make a pretty good costumed detective story, with her taking on the mob or low-level supervillains. Her "big bad" could be a sorcerer / shape-shifter that she is "suspicious of", but can't fully penetrate the disguise of. This person could be working with a mob or costumed gang, but Patsy can never prove they are organising all the crimes she foils.
But that'd require an artist and writer with, like, talent.

You people disgust me.

More?

America Chavez

CHAVEZ

Fuck this this, that's Ms. Venezula, not Ms. America.

Joe Casey created her as kind of a slutty, bitchy, Puerto Rican Wonder Woman or whatever who was also straight. Gillen used her in Young Avengers and basically changed her into a completely different character, making her a lesbian from an alternate Earth with an all-female population and handwaved away her relationship with Ultimate Nullifer in Casey's series as "a mistake" and no elaboration on it beyond that. Funny enough, Casey's riding off of her (tumblr) popularity to make what's basically his original version of the character, before Gillen got his hands on her, for Image ala Gerber and Destroyer Duck or something.

Young Avengers was full of that shit. He made Prodigy from the New X-Men a bisexual (despite the fact that most of Prodigy's existence has had him involved with romantic drama with Surge, never ever a mention of alternate sexualities) and handwaved the reasoning as "oh, being able to absorb the knowledge of people around me made me realize things about myself". Like it's literally just a throwaway line. Young Avengers is an awful book and I can't believe Gillen was able to trick people into thinking he's a good writer.

God, this is just shameful, shameful rip of Yumiko Takahashi art.

Don't pretend that if you didn't absorb the knowledge of everyone here you wouldn't walk away with a new appreciation for DICK.

Slutty, bitchy, Puerto Rican Wonder Woman sound like an interesting comic though. Especially if she's really slutty and really bitchy.

I was thinking about bothering to do a splash page where a special guest star (who will leave in the next page) comes along, but beyond that I'll need more pages, Kate.

So if someone wants to write a page that starts with "guest star leaves, and Patsy waves at them while praising how great they are" I'll get on that after.

Gillen is just a social signaling fag enabler. Like every over cunt at marvel nowadays. He was never good. And that shitter who arts for him can't draw more than one face and can't draw action at all

So kind like of Renee Montoya? Straight latina woman turned into a lesbian by some numale writer because muh headcanon?

There does seem to be some specific drive in people to turn latinas into lesbians. We'd have to find one more instance to make it a pattern though.

and seeing Allegri's work up you posted seems to drive this point home.

Everytime I look at this thread, I ask myself: why isn't the book just done in the style of Seinfeld is nothing is going to happen anyway? Of course, that would require any of Pasty's friends besides She Hulk to even be remotely interesting at all (and all of She Hulk's interesting stuff is from all her other books).

"Thanks for the hair care tips, Carol! You're awesome!"

"If I cut my hair short like Captain Marvel's, I won't have to deal with any more hairballs in the morning!"

From this point on, draw Patsy's hair with as much care as Marvel takes with Captain Marvel's hairstyle. Or in other words, stop caring about drawing Patsy's hair consistently from panel to panel.

"Wait a second, I don't have time to do my hair now! I have to go after that fake Hellcat!"

"Costume, costume… She didn't steal my costume, did she?!"

YOU HAVE TO GO BACK

Also that fucking ringtone.

Also did they just let her ass out that ICU with no questions?

Nearly a dozen pages with nothing fucking happening.

Make that a dozen pages and a random Jub cameo.

This is the Diet Coke of comics. There is nothing here.

I wasn't really sure which Marvel you wanted, so I drew them both. I was going to add the guy dressed all in red, too, but someone from legal said we don't own that one. Which doesn't sound right, but whatever. I'll get on that next page in just a bit.

Now we're cookin'! It's all coming together! Or… I think it is. You know how to wrap it up in two pages, right, Kate?

Diet coke? Try Tab.

Excellent work, I-forget-your-name artist-chan. And I know, right? Marvel needs to get off their butts and get the rights to that Captain Marvel Shazam guy already. We've already got two of every other big-name superhero that matters, we should have two Captain Marvels and two Miss Marvels, too.

If another Kate doesn't take over for the script by tomorrow, I think I can help wrap things up.

Wiccan is basically a self-insert on the first volume

Oh no, it's a secret. I remember Hedy finding out Patsy is Hellcat being a big deal an issue ago. She tries to keep it secret except when she immediately doesn't.

Does anyone remember the temp job for super powered people she was starting in issue goddamn one that's never been addressed or expanded upon? That'd be nice to finally get to, but Kate's too busy jerking off to She-Hulk.

Well, they show the temps moving boxes… what's something. Right? And Jubilee is there probably to solve all of Patsy's problems until She Hulk is better

All right, I'm a little late turning this in, (just like the real Kate Leth!) but I've got a good idea for how to fill those last two pages and end this on a high note.

Basically, we'll end it with a little fanservice for Kate Leth all those devoted readers out there. You know those old-timey pinup magazines where you'd open up the magazine to a two-page spread and turn it on its side to see the picture? Do something like that. Patsy in She-Hulk's costume and She-Hulk dressed as Hellcat, posing together in a way that has them pressed up nice and close together. Maybe have Patsy blushing and She-Hulk with a calm, confident and knowing smile on her face, but otherwise don't go too sexy with it. I'm sure all those nerds on the Internet will freak out over the page, so make sure to keep it nice and tame so that we can laugh at how prudish they are later. And I'm sure the controversy will boost sales, too!

And then stick in the usual spiel along the bottom of the page.

I can dig it. I'll get on it later tonight.

fucking hell she actually stopped a mugger

I read a really good fantasy series that started out as that, so you never know

Well, looks like this thread's gone about as far as it's going to go. Here's a record of Holla Forums's brief attempt at writing their own shitty Marvel Now Hellcat comic, in case anybody wants to try doing something with it in the future.

See you next month, space Holla Forumswboy.

Wish am I late to this thread
and I hope Kate let's yellow ass teeth rot outta her drugged out maw

Patsy Thread, eh?

Let's take a look at what Patsy was like back in 08-09, in her limited series. Not sure when I'll do the other issues, but here is issue 1. Does it have the Patsy feel that she's known for today?

First we start off with a little fashion modelling for some sorta gay, potato-based friend of hers.

So now we're reminded that this is a post Civil War world, and the 50 States Initiative is in effect. Because this entire superhero draft is about sending whoever, wherever, Patsy is going to Alaska.

I still don't understand, the Registration Act was a GLOBAL thing, right? Or could superheroes just move to Canada to avoid having to register? Because if it's global, why not send a member or two of Alpha Flight to check it out, as they'd be at least somewhat more prepared for the extreme cold? Oh well, that's what happens when Shield is run by a drunk.

I have to assume Pym Particles are involved in Patsy having all that shit crammed in that little Shield transport vehicle. I'd normally post these in 3 page posts, but even looking at the thumbnails it's clear that each story beat is roughly 3-4 pages, and when you look at this all you'll see it. the overall color tone of pages makes certain scenes distinct, and it's a pretty clever way to mark a transition that I don't normally think much about. Compare the colors of these pages, to the ones before, and the ones I post next.

See? It's real simple, but the different colors here establish the setting in a way more muted colors wouldn't, it's a noticeably warmer room because the colors are warmer.

Patsy pulls out a big wad of Shield money, and she wants to see BEARS. Oh, and she beats up an old man who was slightly annoying her.

I want a cute moose mug.

Okay, so they see some bears and Patsy has a long flashback to drinking coffe-WAIT! She's springing into action! I don't honestly know if she just changed into costume (like it was under her stuff an she just added the mask and gloves off panel) or she removed her coat to transform her costume like she does now. Not sure, because I don't know when she died and gained this power.

Eitherway, it's actually action time.

And here we end this chapter of Patsy's Alaska vacation. But Patsy at least got to chock out a bear.

So, what do you all think?

The Registration Act was a American thing. The Thing went to Europe and some heroes even went up North (to Canada).

Seems like an extra dumb idea then, since it would scare some heroes into leaving the country, meaning America would have LESS defense if attacked.

But thankfully it was repealed and nothing from Civil War matters in the slightest now.

You know… I like her costume.

The more heroines wear, as long as it's feminine and stylish, it gets me more horny than half naked characters, because I already know what's underneath their clothes that way.

Yeah, eat THAT feminists. There is no escape from getting my dick hard, no matter what you do.

And that is why they are powerless. The dick will not be denied.

I kinda wish she kept a scarf part of it, but I love scarfs. Hell, I'm working on a comic and the protag has a scarf. I guess I'm scarf biased.

Theres a lot of "french comic" in this comic. Brighter colors, shit is happening, perky main character fighting weird aliens and monsters and so on.

While the art is a little bit inconsistent, panel layout and storytelling tools are very well used here. Theres honest effort here both from the writer and the artist.

Most importantly, shit actually happens. Note how even in the "talking heads"-scenes, the characters are always doing SOMETHING besides just talking, and panel layouts vary enough to keep the scene interesting. And we get to see Hellcat using her superpowers to do something superheroic, something we havent seen once in Kate Leth's abortions.

The European influence is probably from the artist, who I looked up. He's Spanish born, apparently exclusive to Valiant now.

Considering he has some talent, he must not have been a good fit for current Marvel.

Why did it have to be Tumblr who got control of Marvel?
Why couldn't Deviantart get the art, and Fanfiction get the writing chores? It honestly couldn't be any worse.
Hell, at this point I'd settle for the Webcomics people, the Furries, the Goons, even the god damn bronies. Why did it have to be the SJWs?

Hypervelocity was pretty fucking good. Does Warren do anything for Marvel anymore? I really was hoping to see the Livewires again.

Wait, did the guy from Empowered get a job in Marvel?

For a little while at least. He did at least Iron Man Hypervelocity, which was a very self contained story, and Livewires, a super group of androids that fucked up AIM cells and other techno based threats. He fucking loves writing sci fi, so those were good fits for him. But that was years ago, so I actually kinda doubt he's worked with Marvel for a while.

His Deviantart has an entire category for "failed projects", so he gets a lot of pitches shot down.
He even had an entire Kill Bill comic drawn up, he doesn't know if Tarantino saw it or not, but I guess somebody who works for Tarantino said no.

He did write Gen:13 for a while. Fans tend to try and forget his run because he wrote the team as being genuinely troubled, and killed the entire cast at the end, Blakes 7 style.

Hypervelocity was amazing. Like Iron Man: Crash on amphetamines. Tony 2.0 was best Tony. And a mecha rave in a sunken cargo ship on the bottom of the ocean, with a bunch of robots pole dancing off the masts, high on mekstasy…

He also did Galacta, daughter of Galactus, which would probably make a million bucks if he wrote it today, now that Squirrel Girl and Gwenpool have softened the market for retards with boobs.

And Titans: Stone, Scissors, Paper, which nobody remembers, as it came out before the Titans cartoon. Make a million bucks if it came out later.

And he was planning a Dirty Pair/Superman crossover that never happened. I've made the point before, that if it was Man Of Steel Superman, the Dirty Pair would be following HIM around, putting out fires and saving people.

That would be fucking glorious. I do remember his run on Gen 13 fondly, despite some issues with how he handled Grunge. He gave them a solid farewell, even though he didn't want to end the book. He even talked about a few of the dangling plotlines in the last issue, he was really the only person to bring the book back to how fun it felt in the Campbell days. I've never heard anything amazing about any of the runs after his, so if I ever do buy "all" of Gen13, that means everything from issue 1 to the end of Warren's run.

He probably would do pretty well now, but I'm not sure if he's more focused on Empowered, or the big two just don't want to give him another shot.

Tony 2.0 was pretty fucking great, I might have to read Hypervelocity again sometime soon.

I can't draw for shit.

You're hired.
MARVEL NOW.

And for my next trick, I will predict the future!

Thanks doc

Heiled.

Editors and CEOs of Marvel and DC have always come from talentless rich and spoiled backrounds so SJW was a natural thing to happen to them.

She's wearing the spandex underneath, you can see it in her midriff before the transformation.

WHY NOBODY IS MENTIONING HOW THE FAGS ARE HOLDING HANDS AS EVERYONE PREDICTED IN ISSUE 2?

I mean, nothing against them, but Leth is so fucking predictable…

Are they even characters, or are they just there to be gay backgrounds? I only read this and last issue.

Now a book that is pushing some gay action I'm intrigued by is Ms. Marvel, but we'll see how that goes in a few months.

is the black chick the joker? because she has red lipstick all over her mouth instead of her lips

god, this comic should come with a rage energy collector

JESUS FUCK THIS IS FUCKING NOTHING. NOTHING HAPPENS. JUBILEE APPEARS JUST BECAUSE

look at those poor cats. Just being in this comic is suffering

...

Doesn't even have to go full Campbell, it just has to be APPEALING to look at. Like the Hellcat series from 7 years ago:

Even the artist of this book can do a LOT better, as seen here:

It's honestly hard for me to believe I'm even praising books from 7 years ago at this point, because I started to hate big two comics 10 years ago. I didn't think they could get much worse, but I was wrong.

I wonder how bad it'll be in 7 more years…

one is the stereotypical femtwink and the other is the bear

by the clothes alone guess which is which

Did you notice the twink doesn't even get a little information paragraph? Like… even the monkey got a mention.

I mean, sure, marvel at this point is just about normalfag-tier shit and SJW pandering propaganda, but it could at the very least LOOK like a comic, being one of the biggest publishing houses out there. This shit is just mind-boggling.

Sorry I'm so late, Kate! The editor said he had to make a big change to your script, but I don't think I understand it. Eitherway, another great issue of Hellcat out the door!

Congratulation, Holla Forums, you guys made a comic.

...

I had the strangest thought this morning.
I thought to myself "gee, I haven't seen a Patsy Walker thread in a while," and proceeded to consider the myriad delightful reasons why that might be.
Kate Leth falling off a cliff for example.

And then I load up Holla Forums and here it is.

reality is a harsh mistress

Oh thank god, this takes place in the Ultimate universe. That explains fucking everything

Will it make you feel better if we charged you 4 bucks?

Sorry, but there is no Ultimate universe anymore. Both the Normal and Ultimate universe collided in secret wars to create a brand new Normal universe that is exactly like the old Normal universe. The Ultimates are just Black Panther, Carol, Monica, Blue Marvel, and this cosplaying teenager.

At the same time, Kate has stated that this book is not really canon, so I'm assuming Marvel told her that her comic stinks.

everyone liked vampilee
and then they changed artists and a new writer decided that she should join up with an underground gang of vampires who prey on the innocent

oh, right, that happened. The grand totality of exposure I've had to marvel recently has been these threads and the free comic book day thing where what I assume are the fantastic four's kids are planning a way to escape the colliding planet problem

NO GODDANMIT I WANT MY TIME TRAVELLING BODERLINE LESBIANS JUBILEE AND X-23 WITH JUBILEE ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING A VAMPIRE MATRIARCH BY METTING VAMPIRES IN CONAN AGES AND TELLING THEM ABOUT THE FUTURE WHERE THEY CAN EASILY LIVE WITHOU MOST FORMS OF PERSECUTION CAMARILLIA STYLE DUE TO VAMPIRES TECHNICALLY BEING MUTANTS AND TEACHIG GTHEM HOW TO MAKE THE SUNLIGHT IMMUNITY LOTION AND X-23 GOING THROUGH HER LOGAN FEMALE EDITION COMING OF AGE WHERE SHE TRAVELS THE WORLD AS JUBILEE'S SUPPORT ANDIS OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR A LYCAN AS A RAPID DOGGIRL AND BLOOD FIX FOR JUBBLY JUBS AS SHE DOES ALL THE TRAVELLING THE WORLD STUFF LOGAN DID LIKE GOING TO JAPAN, AND DOING COOL STUFF THERE AND OTHER STUFF lOGAN DID DUE TO BEING SUPER FUCKING IMMORTAL,

FUCK YOU MARVEL, GIVE ME MY VAMPIRE QTS BACK

Sorry. They found out people enjoyed it too much, and had to take it away. You know the rules.

I didn't. I thought it was stupid.
I did like her palling around with X-23, though.

That was fucking awesome.

INORITE?!

Best Titans line-up ever: Captain Thug, Dead Prettyboy, Prosthetic Lass, and Witchy-Poo.

...

Good times, back when Marvel used to hire actually competent female artists instead of tumblrettes.

I might do more later, but I wanted to do this stupid gag page before falling asleep. Can Patsy's mind even deal with how sexy She Hulk's new form is?

Goodnight, all.