Holla Forums, you've got to hear this shit that happened earlier today. Too complicated for green text, so just deal with it
gf and I had just got done having sex upstairs. Afterward, I threw the condom in the upstairs trash can because what could go wrong? About 20 minutes later, gf and I are downstairs watching TV when we hear her 8-year-old daughter giggling upstairs. gf yells, "Heidi, what are you doing up there?" Heidi comes right out of the bathroom to the top of the stairs… with the condom in her mouth… BLOWING IT UP. My jaw dropped and my gf is all like "HEIDI!!!" She jumps up off the couch and knocks the ashtray off the coffee table and onto the floor. Both of our cigarettes land on the carpet and become buried beneath a pile of other cigarette butts. She starts sifting through them and grabbing handfuls and burns the fuck out of her hand on one of the cherries. My gf screams at me to go deal with her daughter, so I run upstairs real fast to take it away from her. At this point, the condom is blown up very full, but what happens next is the end-all of this story. She tilts it upward while blowing it up and a huge load of my jizz pours right into her mouth. She immediately starts gagging and drops the balloon on the floor, but her mouth is already full of me right now. She starts spitting it out and it's all over her hands and shit. She's all like, "That stuff tastes and smells weird" and I rush her into the bathroom and have her gargle with Listerine until she can't taste the sperm anymore. My gf comes up finally and is all frantic asking if everything is alright. However, her daughter has my jizz all over her shirt, shorts, and it's even running down her chest. gf cleaned her up right there, but the memory will stick. It's only a matter of time before Heidi reaches social maturity and realizes what the stuff in that balloon really was. I hope I am around to see the look on her face when the light bulb turns on.
Pic related. It's Heidi.
Bentley Thomas
lel
Cooper Sanders
Hedi the dirty lil condom expander.
Isaiah Morris
10/10, would boner chuckle again
Hudson Gonzalez
Absolutely Glorious!
This is a greentext thread now
Sebastian Howard
That was good op
Nolan Hughes
You technically gave a cumshot to a 8yo girl and got away with it. I'm sure you made hundreds of people jealous
Logan Nelson
asshole kys
Andrew Ortiz
Interesting, if true.
Colton Richardson
...
Chase Wilson
nice samefagging op
Sebastian Moore
how's your cum taste OP?
Angel Brooks
I'm convinced he came to Holla Forums because he saw funny greentexts on reddit or some shit
Jace Rogers
This sounds like something Nick Nyberg would write.
Isaac Young
wew
Aiden Gonzalez
nice mspaint user
Lincoln Reyes
op here. here's what it looks like on my browser
Liam Cox
thanks
Leo Harris
Still, if it had, what a wonderful encapsulation of the lower classes. Broken family, whore of a single mother, smokers, daughter chugging her mom's bf's jizz. Next time you post it, you should add the part where you get dinner at the closest gas station then come back to watch WWE.
Lucas Price
seems legit thanks user
Wyatt Young
OH SHIT THEY KNOW ABANDON SHIP
Owen Clark
what's your opinion of this bit of land
Lucas Nguyen
No try again
Wyatt Phillips
The north is alright but I dont really see them as fellow dutchmen, the south should be nuked into oblivion though They have the best fries though so that makes up for almost all their flaws and their hilarious accent
Luis Lopez
...
Henry Clark
And this one?
Gabriel James
Hate every single thing about it, except the women my gf is spanish actually so I'm aready kinda spicpilled but I honestly dislike spain and its inhabitants, mainly because they have slaughtered my people for years during the 80 years war
Colton James
And how about those former colonies of yours
Camden Cooper
...
Kayden Adams
I saw this same fucking story a few weeks ago. Stale pasta OP
Anthony Rodriguez
it wouldve been the same reaction from me, even if it was fresh
Landon Baker
you know way too much about our history man
anyways indonesia is still a 3d world country, especially after that shitskin soekarno died I absolutely love the food though, a friend of mine is an indonesian and his mom always invites us to dinner, best homecooked food you will taste in a long time, the people are alright too aslong as theyre not old, im still a stupid belanda in the eyes of indonesian freedom fighters
Jace Thompson
This reads like a Literotica post on some pedo site.
Mason Richardson
t. middle class virgin
Nolan Taylor
...
Logan Allen
OP is rekt
Brody Wilson
I have seen this post so many times on 4chan's Holla Forums, how many times have you posted this here? Also not hating; that slav is qt.
Ian Price
o
Elijah Smith
Recycled but….. still keks me,
Logan Sanchez
lel, OP should know better than to lie about such things.
Parker Garcia
keklings
Austin Fisher
Cuck a doodle doo
Jack Howard
Eddy Merckx
Joshua Ward
CUCCBOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Gabriel Myers
Best post here.
middle class virgin > hood rat
Kevin Green
Wow!
Oliver Young
that was a good story op i liked it
Cameron Green
haha
Adam Murphy
middle class fuckmaster > middle class virgin > hood rat