my landowner approached me today

Sorry you're such a retard you made yourself homeless and now get triggered by your inferiority complex everywhere.

...

I'm paying someone to kick his ass

Holy fucking shit you cocksucker. I need this. Abuse me more. Tell me my face smells of shrimp

If you promise to shit in my throat

I'm hardly retarded. I just drink, and the alcohol makes me do stupid stuff.

That's fucking normal you redneck fuck

Why pay someone to do it when he's going to suspect you anyway and grass you up? Steal his laptop! Steal it! Steal it! Steal it!

this is what you get for not owning your own home

Yeah OP, serves you fucking right!

OP let us guide you into stealing the fuckers laptop. At least get an extra key cut so you have the chance to pinch it. Do your flatmates go out together for drinks at any point? He may leave it in the communal area.

Be sure to copy a back door key in case they come back during your infiltration.

right has nothing to do with it

because it might incriminate me. I have a clear reason to harm him or his possessions

Agreeable offer. I'll have a copy taken of the housekeys asap. I wouldn't know about their social behavior but some of them go out for drinks sometimes. The fuckwit that snitched me is a fucking nerd, and possibly gay. I'll have him skinned alive and then steal his laptop

hey Holla Forums how many hip hop points do I get for a video of the snitch getting beaten up

Root his laptop, steal his amateur homemade gay pron, go into his emails and wipe the evidence, then wipe his hard drive.

how

Well, where's his laptop? If he keeps it locked in his room you'll have to fuck him over the wireless network. Does he leave it on constantly? You may need to buy a small amount of server space.

I fear the former. I'm not especially tech-savvy though. I'm more of a break his nose and crush his balls type of degenerate.

But I will steal his laptop, set it on fire and torture the piece of shit for months until he becomes paranoid to the point of suicide out of desperation.

(checked)
Check out nullbyte for guides on hacking 4 nubs until you find something suitable for your situation. This one could help (you're already on the network so don't worry about that)

null-byte.wonderhowto.com/how-to/hack-like-pro-hack-into-your-suspicious-creepy-neighbors-computer-spy-him-0150427/

I think you need a spanking OP

ooh nice. I was wondering could my landowner have access to my internet history?

Thanks for the site

I WANT a spanking. Though I am beyond repair

We could burn you alive? Stake or oven? What do you prefer?

I would prefer the latter. At least I would feel something

My landowner said in al his 30 years of renting out rooms he has never seen anything like me

I'm doomed to fail. Guide me into fulfilling this fateful story of fail and tell me how can I fuck the entire house over

go hide in some really good place and then kill yourself

your rotting corpse will make the whole building uninhabitable because of the smell

haha that's genius

how about I just lock myself in my room, cut my wrists, die and then proceed to shit my pants for extra odor

any more advise, faggots?

Extra cripsy faggot coming up! Shall we eat OP afterwards anons?

Theoretically yes, but it would be entirely illegal. You need to compromise as many devices in the house as possible to ensure that you can cut off all the loose ends or you may find yourself in for one hell of a reporting to the authorities once your gone and your man kicks the shit out of him.

Wew lad there's some dissonance here!

oh great, /leftycuck/ is leaking again

you can have my balls, you could feed Zimbabwe with them

I''ll have to do it in one sweep, I assume? I have one month to gtfo

Oh great, your ass is weeping again.

Nah you have infinite attempts. You have a month to complete three objectives
1) Gain access to snitchlads computer
2) Delete all evidence and copy over the evidence of his faggotry
3) Wipe his hard drive

Secondary objective:
Delete your landlords emails and clear his hard drive of evidence against you

You must accomplish these tasks before your fellow agents beats the faggot into a puddle of tears, piss and vomit, double-0 skeezy.

Some users on Holla Forums have done this sort of stuff before and will help, but I wouldn't bother asking /baphomet/ since at this point it seems to be butthurt virgins, idiotic Holla Forumseshiners and LARPers. Not sure about the state of Holla Forums, maybe if you have a very specific question to ask in the middle of an attempt, since that seems to be the cut off point for getting technical advice.

Don't be such a queer faggot, live alone. You're a wolf.

wolves live in big groups

Not the ones everyone hates.

Great. This might actually work. Thanks, user.

But I want to scrounge off of others!

kek

...

almost satanic trips

almost hitlerquads

checked

heil hitler

right. i understand. its not your fault. you did nothing wrong. you're not responsible.

it is an explanation, not an excuse neither a justification

never assume

sounds like a bad explanation.
despite what you say, it seems to me you are using alcohol as an excuse to be a shit person and make bad decisions.

Stop whining like a little bitch. Move out. Ditch your friend. Suck dick for coke. It seems like the obvious choice for you considering the path you are on.

You're a fucking garbage person.

It's not what your dealt it's how you own it. Op is owning it very well. Now he may not go far but that's why we are here. Normal or even vaguely successful people don't come here.

gotta take a week to memorise his schedule

help me, Holla Forums

I will film his noce breaking + me burgling his fucking room

Afterwards I will confront him. Possibly beat him. But only after he has wounds on his face from my mate's beating

You are either a corpse or a filthy liar. I'm gunna go with the latter…
You would die if your diet solely consisted of canned vegetables and bread for a whole year, your body would've been starved of nutrients. A balanced diet isn't just something mummy made you have to be a meany. You Americunts are so ignorant you think you can just lie through your teeth, ==kill yourself== it's a shame the diet isn't true, then you'd be dead.

OP is a massive faggot, a whiny pussy, and a shittier criminal

Wolf males don't live with their mom or in some gay commune

thank you mister demotivator

apart from being faggy and an alcohol abusing crime amateur, why did you forget to mention my ugly shite unworthy cuckface? shame on you

OP you don't have to root his laptop if you just burgle his room and delete his emails.

But then you have the 'landowner' - what will you do about that? He has all the evidence!

yeah man, and the landowner is tthe paranoid harsh type of guy. He didn't get rich off being charitable, let me put it like that.

I'd burgle the guy's room definitely but I need to somehow gain access to fuckshit extortionist landlord

Looks like you're going to have to bust into the matrix

made me laugh

have some of my columbine webms

in return for detailed description of how to proceed

Wat ben je toch een kankermongool

Tenminste een amusante kankermongool maar alsnog

Hopelijk word je niet gescamd. Dan zou je nog net wat triester worden.

Je kan natuurlijk ook gewoon embed related proberen

Suck dick for the rest of your life, you have a nice face and a pretty moith so go make use of it

Christ user…

I mean, I've been where you are. Best bet is keep your chin up m8 and call them faggots.

haha, bitch ik word uit mijn fucking kamer gezet

dit gaat verder dan facebook drama

kankermuziek trouwens

I aint sucking no dick

I only suck assholes

I need people to know about my achievements. like in call of duty, but then much more autistic

I have to do something. Including finding a new place to shit, masturbate furiously, drink and sleep.

Just be a filthy skid and copy a guide off nullbyte.

How did you end up accidentally adding the fuckboy to your facebook group anyway?

Yeah fair enough mate, I was in your shoes a year ago. I got super fucking wasted ever night…ah, wait, I'm wasted tonight…anyway!

I like beer.

Point is mate, if these cucks are the types to leave notes and warn land lords and not man up they aren't worth it. I was homeless for a year, but unlike muh bread and veggies (I will admit, bread DOES fill you up and what not) you learn some important shit.

1. You determine honor
2. You determine strength
3. You do what you need to

So user, what do you NEED to do?
Do it.
What do you NEED?

"I need muh internet" sweet, libraries allowed me to shitpost and I had my laptop + charge at cafes.

Fuck, sorry user so drunk, look point is m8e. You're gonna be fine, I believe in you and I think you'll do great. You're a good sort user

OP could even just continue his adventures as a squatter, playing out his revenge on society from an abandoned factory.

I was drunk. I thought it was hilarious to confront him with all the fucked up shit we post in the group. Can't get more offensive.

Not a good idea in hindsight.

I also like beer. And wine. Shit, you should've seen my room yesterday. I had friends over, lifted a fuckload of booze, I'm talking a dozen bottles of whatnot. I simply went inside the store with a backpack and a large bag, filled them up ever so carelessly with food and wine and beer and whisky, and just left. haha

I have to admit that makes sense. Everything you said makes sense. Okay fuck it, I'll just enact my revenge and skidaddly my ugly ass out of this shithole. Didn't like the room anyway.

The hassle, though.

Take care user. I'll crack open a cold one in your honor

in my country they crack down hard on squatfags. I live in one of the most prosperous liberal socialist nations on earth.

This aint America where you have loads of space. We're cramped up like a pack of niggers.

Is there no squatting laws at all?

Normally a country has at least one squat full of stinky crusties.

Man, that goes against my unwarranted innate desire to live above everyone else. I can't live like a nigger in some abandoned building. I need electricity and warm water. And fresh towels to wipe my diarrhea onto. duh.

I have my studies, I cannot give up yet

>landowner

are you some sort of filthy peasant? working masters fields?

yes. apart from my daytime job of sucking dick for crack cocaine I plow the fields growing potatoes which I then proceed to sell on the market. I'm saving up for a horse

you made me laugh

you made me laugh

who is she? I want to force my peepee into one of her holes. any hole will do.

any

Did Ashley dead?

give me her name. and additional contact details while you're at it

Are you a Latvian?

I saw on /baph/ that she disappeared with some handsome alpha. Unlucky boiz

Volgens mij moet je weer eens meedraaien met een basisschool voor een paar lessen begrijpend lezen.

Doe daar maar een paar lessen "geen kankerpleb voor beginners" zijn bij.

One step ahead of ya there m8ey. Ik ben al begonnen met het alfabet.

Meneertje edgy hier, je 'smaak' in muziek zuigt zware negerballen

maybe I should just off myself after my parents die. huh

no, dutch.

OP I think you should find an anarchist collective to live in. I think they'd be more your speed.

Nee, niet echt. Dat jij absoluut geen smaak in muziek hebt (en daarnaast ook keihard faalt in het leven) is enkel en alleen jouw probleem, probeer het maar niet op anderen af te schuiven.

Ga maar snel weer verder met je steeds verder en verder in een kuiltje te graven, dan kom ik wel later om het weer dicht te maken.

Nobody cares about you, you butthurt faggot.

ebin samefag bro xDDDD

not all anarchists are lazy idiots like OP

t. ancap

nope that's just a sympathetic user

noice dubs

You just violated the NAP, you're fucking dead now kiddo.

...

M8, what you gotta do is something he'll not want to tell no one, yeah? Get a group of lads together and catch him unawares, maybe lure him away under false pretenses, then corner him and rape him.

And next time, Christ alive, post your shit here. I feel fucking betrayed to be frank.

...

care to elaborate?

Is he doing crossfit?

Not unless he wants to violate the nap he wont, punk butch nigger.

not an argument

I've seen you post this before and it's made me laugh both times.

I think we both need to get out more.

OP here. I'm getting the shakes. goddamnit

are you also getting the fries?

that pic is not from today

I'm watching movies on my laptop. afraid police might come

the joke
.

.

.

your head

I get it
I get it quite often
"You are an idiot"

I got the joke. Just kind of preoccupied atm m8

why are you posting if you're preoccupied?

to distract myself. the realisation of the extent of my actions has crept up on me, as I sobered up.

well, that's what you get for being an idiot

allow me to hand you your darwin award

Congratulations, you misused the only six letter long word in your post, idiot.

get out

Do you have brain damage?

You deserve whatever comes to you

Do you know what a Darwin Award is, retard? It's removing yourself from the gene pool.

Fucking kiddos go put your jim jams on.

Which is something OP is in the middle of doing right now, you fucking mongoloid

You silly, dumb, cuckold scum.

But I was soooo druuunk! I literally could not control myself. Goddamnit cut me some slack. I already know I'm massive shitfuck

I don't have to argue. I have property rights.

Are you seriously this stupid or are you just baiting?

Three.

This thread is hilarious,please keep it going.

I'm looking for a new room now. Still have to phone my parents with the good news.

I think I'll just say that I got drunk and left the gas open or something, but they know about my alcoholism and will be sooooo fucking disappointed. I might possibly have to move back home or something.

FUCK

en.squat.net/2016/09/22/utrecht-two-more-houses-squatted-on-kanaleneiland/
Go, OP. Seize the means for living from the filthy Arab-Flemish conspiracy.

...

M A G N E T S O N H D D

Fun fact: I have the kitchen to my own now. This is seriously so funny, every time I'm in there and any of them comes in they (except for two chicks I'm on good terms with) just pass through with a nervous 'hi', lollygag around a bit and then just go back upstairs.

Then after I go to my room, get this, I can HEAR them fucking go downstairs.

I have to hold my laugh in every time this happens. They're afraid of me!

Holy shit I never saw that coming. I enjoy it thoroughly.

I guess no one cares about this thread anymore. I phones my parents and their heart broke. I'm to find a new room asap. Gonne visit the first one tomorrow.

I'll let the thread die now. Thanks for the ride, faggots.

My suggestion? Make the front door utterly and completely impassable. Do whatever you can to jam it up, make it so the only way to make that doorway usable again is to dismantle the entire frame. Nails, glue, weld the hinges if you can.

Also move all your things but don't actually move out until the landlord sends movers. Be a bitch about it the entire way and make him regret evicting you in the first place. If you're enough of an asshole about leaving then he won't think about any kind if payback, beyond taking your security deposit.

Fun idea but I'm not going to do that. He's legally obliged to pay back the security deposit as long as I don't damage the property. Seeing as he's a greedy bastard (he has a gold ring and bracelet) giving him the deposit would be doing him a favor.

dumping pics before I delete them. shame the rest is already gone

Nope, there's more.

hey I didn't know I still had two loempias. holy fuck I'm going to eat one now

weww