Impress her

Impress her.

Other urls found in this thread:

foodwishes.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-best-chocolate-chip-cookies-ever.html
steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=771938081
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

I'm level 32 in Pokemon

I can't fit as many dicks in my mouth as you can but I am pretty damn close to getting there

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
DICK! DICK! DICK MASTURBATION AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH
SPERRM LOOK AT MY SPERM FLY!!! RIGHT ON YOUR FACE!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

u r not my type

*whip american express black out*
That's all it takes

i have bigger dick than u fgt

they have a separate card for black people?

I own all 6 seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on Blu-Ray.

do you have periods ? ahhahaha

...

LETS DO SONE DANCING

LETS SHOW ME MY MOVES

I can install GNU/Linux on your computer

Show her my collection of compact cassettes.

So earlier you mentioned you're a cat lady.

Do you have any fursuits? Want to come back to my place to meet my otherkin? I heard Anthrocon is in town this year.

Its really a welfare card they just call it a credit card to make them feel good.

Also to impress her I would show her rare frog memes.

Hey kiddo, ever heard of Holla Forums? Yeah, I've seen some shit

He's not kidding, it was really shit

"hi, i hope you like the idea of having a lot of sex with me in a dark cellar prison.. but, well, i guess after you drank that coffee, it really doesn't matter anymore if you like it or not"

that's not gonna impress her, that's what she's expecting

it will impress her, when i use her boyfriends skin as condom

I have a Master's of Science Thesis, Profession and the Practice of Personal Financial Planning, and my father and I own and manage a financial advisory firm that carefully, responsibly, and ethically handles the investments of several hundred clients.


That means I have lots of money and can buy you shiny stuff!

she doesn't look indian to me

Cool user! You're a really great guy, and kinda cute too.

Impress me

I have an awesome recipe of cookies

heat up
120 grams of butter
add
120 grams of sugar
mix it then add one egg
mix again

add at the same time
275 grams of flour
1 tbs of salt
2 tbs of baking powder

add 100 or 200 grams of chocolate broken in chunks

cook it at 150*-200* in the oven for 15 minutes

They're probably lying though.

I like your hair.

Is your cup of tea half-empty or half-full? Haha, just curious.

GET OUT

You fucking retard, she's drinking tea.
Then again, she's a woman, so she probably doesn't even know the difference.

That's cute as fuck.

I'm consider doing this

But first off, have you actually memorized this or did you look it up

it will only make you fat

She's a woman. Women are about as seep as a golf ball dimple.

"i have a 9 inch dick and about 300 million in my bank account"

also one of these statements are true

...

she's pretty cute

No shit.

how's the ruble these days?

something like 50 ruble for each dolla?

Ha! I ain't even mad. That's gold.

why does that place attract so many autists?

she looks like she needs some sleep.

she needs some milk :^D

just remember a 2:2:1 ratio for butter:white sugar:brown sugar with 1 or 2 eggs depeding on how crumbly you want them. Add a splash of milk. It doesn't have to be precise. then put in 2 parts plus a little more flour and equal pinches of baking soda, salt and vanilla. Put whatever the fuck you want in them because that is a perfect cookie base now

foodwishes.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-best-chocolate-chip-cookies-ever.html

learn to cook, faggots. it makes panties wet

I am vegan.

...

fewer eggs means more crumble

Hi lady i make game please check out

steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=771938081

i would actually impress her by spending the evening with her without any intentions of having sex afterwards

Impress her

Easy!

"I'll be doing that to your pussy later, m'lady"

What do you say to her?

Let me tell you about meme magic!

"Do you know about the concept of mutual assured destruction, m'lady?"

Do you want to see my collection of rare pe.pe?

I'm going to make this pencil disappear.

"You have something jewy about your face, yet no jewtits. You're paying for this"

lol, no. can you impress me, bitch?

I am a level 39 wizard.
I have played all sorts of games.
I have jerked off to porn like you wouldn't believe.
I want to have sex with you.
I want to know what a girl feels like before I die.
Please help me!

PLEASE HELP ME KUDASAI!!!
PLEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T GO!!!!!!! NO PLEASE DON'T GO!!!!!!!
I'LL DO ANYTHING TO CUM INSIDE YOU!!!!!!!!!
I'LL TAKE SHOWER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL USE SOAP!!!!!!!!
COME BACK!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE KUDASAI!!!!!!!

that's not how it works
there are plenty of men willing to give her the dick
yet no women willing to give you the dick

"so?"
"youre fookin ugly"

I conducted raids as recently as May and managed to fill four separate threads to completion

šŸ‘ŒšŸ˜‚

i actually baked some cookies with my gf three days ago with this recipe (that actually came from a friend of my mom)

you can also add nuts with the chocolate chunks

...

I have a dick you can't surround with both hands.

...

ur future, honey

A-user, Iā€¦

Half full of AIDS. Want some?

I can play piano

So, you like drinking tea?

why do girls like her have no shame to flash their tits on the internet but not in person

Impress her.

why didi masturbate to this

Am I retarded or are there three feet?

Nope I'm retarded that's an elbow.

Because she probably took that pic for someone, numb-nuts. Some dude asked for nudes, and that alpha motherfucker received this pic because she was into him.

You faggots put the pussy on a pedestal and then get butthurt when it doesn't live up to your expectations. Fuck. Nearly all girls will send a guy they like nudes. They all want some degree of validation.

Fortunately for us, the dude who received this pic was a good enough cunt to share it with the world, and thus make the world a better place. Hot damn, those are some nice tits!

Soā€¦what is you stance on racial segregation?


Uhm, yeah it's just a jokeā€¦..do you vote for The Donald in two weeks?


What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Iā€™ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iā€™ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iā€™m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youā€™re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatā€™s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ā€œcleverā€ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnā€™t, you didnā€™t, and now youā€™re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youā€™re fucking dead, kiddo.

KEK, you probably have a 1/5 chance of actually getting her attention with that shit. "He's strong, and I feel safe with him".

She'd be your pet to get you coffee and suck dick at the drop of a hat.

don't ever meme me or my son again

I have a SliEighty and need a navigator, think you're up for it?

...

I'm glad to have provided some smooth lines for my fellow posters.

The next step is asking what her hair smells like and then asking her if you can smell her hair.

When she leaves, you have to swap your seat with hers, but you have to be fast enough so she can still see you do it before she's gone.

I RECOGNIZE THAT MIDGET WHORE

AY BITCH I EAT PUSSY ON THE FIRST DATE AND I ALMOST GOT MY TEXT ADVENTURE GREENLIT ON STEAM ONE TIME LET ME BREAK THAT SHIT OPEN REAL QUICK

i want to paint her green

Show her a $5 bill.

why, she's fat

...

my dick is .4 inches long

but I'm rich :^)

I am Jewish.
I wouldn't trade it for anything, not even having a monstrous 4-inch donkey penis.

I have an 8 inch dick, holy shit its amazing to own one.

I will literally stutter to death infront of her
Wouldn't know what a fuck to do

...

Impress her ok 3 words "i got money"

Welp, there's your problem, right there

This is what a guy who only interact with girls in dating sims would say. You fucking nigger, if she goes out with you like that she is already interested in you. Do you still think that girls don't enjoy sex you little faggot?