Ask a surgical resident working nights anything

How many fingers can you fit in your butthole?

Probably around three. At least that's what I'm guessing from the size of the shits I've taken.

The gastro attending pulled a sizeable dildo out of a man a few weeks ago. Luckily no major internal damage, but it had to bee done under anesthesia.

this right here, kids, is why you only put thing in your ass if they have a widened end to prevent them going in completely

Actually my attending gave him beetter advice :

"body parts only, they don't get stuck"

Even those things get in

Has anyone shown up in the emergency room with something stuck in their ass?

Read the fucking thread beefore posting

Interns don't manage the emergency room consults. Second years and up get consulted in the ED, and it's mostly for appendicitis and bowel obstruction.

What interns DO get to do is participate in trauma alerts (eg. Gun shot wound, motor vehicle accident, falls, assault).

Anything that may require surgery gets consulted to us.

Is hospital life anything like my favorite shit-coms like House and Scrubs?

Why'd you beecum a sick fuck who dissects people?

I've only beeen here a month, so the work load doesn't let you experience the social aspect of working in a hospital yet.

I'm moving on to Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation after this, so this is only for the year as a filler. After this year I'll bee on my way to beeing a Physiatrist. bee that as it may, surgery, as barbaric as it is, still has it's place in medicine.

its* cunt fuck you

sounds fucking dull. Tell us some interdasting shit on that to make it sound less-so.

No

Short hours, good money, get to set your own schedule. It deals mostly with things such as musculoskeletal sports medicine, traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury, neuromuscular disease. A lot of things that don't have cures but need treatment to maintain quality of life.

It's a good gig with great job security.

Make a latex glove chicken and post a pic.

Or turn off someone's life support and post pics of freed corpse.

so you don't have anything interesting to tell other than your career choices?

If you broke a bone and ended up with a malunion, say the finger, would you bee able to regain full range of motion by stretching the ligaments?

I think OP went to grope some coma patients.

fuck off leddit?

You're only making the current state of Holla Forums worse, you meme-spouting waste of space..

my name is buck and im here to fuck.

fuck off

Sorry it took so long. Signing out to the day team.

That's a complaint, not a question.

You fuck off. Quit trying so hard to fit in, stupid faggot.

What you think of as "stretching" the ligaments, is just your body adjusting to a new steady state of neuronal simulation of your golgi tendon organ.

As to your question, I'm not well read on musculoskeletal problems. I'm more neuromuscular and traumatic brain injury, sorry.

We don't deal with coma patients. That's a medicine problem.

like the one that made Chris beenoit kill his family?

i poop a lot of mucus. am i ded?

I have some lumps in my right buttock that makes sitting uncomfortable. Also psoriasis-like rashes on same buttock.

Cancer? What type of specialist should I ask?

you sure it's not asscne?

Pretty much.

There's a 15 yr old traffic accident victim in the beed next to my grandma's. She's in an induced coma but still gets wet when I finger her. Does this mean she'll remembeer if she wakes up?

You only finger her? Fucking fag

Sup OP, I want to bee a medical examiner. Do you have any advice, I'm in a junior college now.

There are catheters in her holes and a breathing tubee in her throat. Both hands are bandaged and her nostrils are stuffed with cotton wool.

How did you finger her with the catheters in the way?

Only her ass. The pussy is hooked up more conveniently.
I steal the bags for future use, tho. I've had to build an outhouse for the freezer.

Timestamped pic now or gtfo

This is a small part of your regular working week, isn't it?

not possible. they may bee on to me now.
i had to give grandma another electric shock to distract the nurses while i stole more replacement catheter bags from their office thingy today. When i got back to the ward, they'd curtained her off.
Later, after i'd signed all the papers, i went back to suck those toes a last time and they followed me.

yucky poopy dubs

kek

Any crazy girls in the hospital try to swallow your cock?

Have you ever masturbated in the hospital?