38 years old

38 years old
Though I've been with 21 women, only had one gf and it lasted 6 months
Girl I was "with" walked away on my bday 5 years ago because she was tired of waiting for me to make our relationship official after 6 years
Since then, spend every waking moment of my off-work time alone save that one or two times out of the year when I reconnect with an old friend
Outside of that, I wake up, go to work, talk to no one, come home, spend rest of day alone, go to bed, rinse repeat
Every day is the same
Weekend comes along and I drink myself shitty with massive amounts of jager and redbull and beer
Hang out with no one on the weekend
Been this way every day since she walked away
Except this is the first year where I've hung out with no one
I think i am a sperglord because I am incapable of socializing with anyone anymore. I stutter, mumble, jumble my words, people look away when I talk, walk the other way if I am coming their direction down the hallway
Every day is painful
Five years of loneliness
It didn't always this way
I used to be semi-outgoing
Have a sense of humor
Have friends
But it got worse after she walked away. As if my social skills have atrophied due to lack of engagement
I think of ending it all every day
It's just pointless to continue living like this
I doubt I'll do it, though, because I kinda don't want to die
At the same time, though, I do
But I don't
Maybe I'll just quit my job, live off the $120k in my account, and then end myself as soon as my last dime is gone and I've long since past the point of return

I didn't come here for advice because I know the only advice I'll get is "do it, OP". Honestly, I don't know why I'm here. Going to bed now. Don't care if this thread is gone in the morning. Just had to say it

stop defining your life by what some bitch did to you

MODS

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Sit down and work out what you want from your life.

Do you want money? If so how are you going to achieve that? A girlfriend? If so what qualities do you want in that girl? What social groups could you be involved with to meet someone like that?

A good start is cleaning up. Throw everything away you don't need, clean up your PC, fresh install of windows/linux and carefully organise everything. Then get yourself a good to-do list app and calander.

Organise your time efficiently and worm on what you want. If all you want is friends it's so incredibly easy to just find a local society or club and turn up.

normalfags please leave

Set some goals and follow through. Make them specific e.g. I'm going to go to X environment and talk to at least 3 people. I am going to use these conversational cues (humour, news personal interest etc)

This forces you to socialise and will reduce your frustration about being alone. Finding something that you are interested in and joining a club will help to make your interactions more sincere and natural.

Also don't forget personal grooming plays a big part in personal interaction - shit, shower, shave, clean clothes, and remember to keep your fly zipped up.

There is also nothing wrong with being alone, but if you are lonely it is up you to change that.

Good luck user.

Fucked lot of hookers have you?

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OP is tl;dr

I wonder how many people have been outraged by that man shitting on that poor baby

You're one dependant pussy, learn to take a break-up like it's just a breakup, faggot.

Hang on to that shit user, when the stock market crashes, buy up some stocks that have a history of rising in value exponentially during an upswing. Depending on how much you get after that, put that shit in an interest-earned account and give everybody a "fuck you". You should be around 50 to 60 by the time that happens anyway, might as well do it in style.

eh, it's Holla Forums /bee/, everyone here is numb to child abuse at this point

If you're gonna do it OP i have a request. Fill your ass with popcorn kernels and vegetable oil then plug it with a metal butt plug.
Find a big ass oven and crawl in and cook yourself. I want to imagine what the morticians face would look like when he pulls the plug out and soggy popcorn jets out of your ass.

Sup, OP. 38 year old here. I've only been with two women but one's now my fiancee. I don't know how you got 21 and still failed at life. It likely means you look good and had it easy yet still fucked up. Maybe more blog posts will fix it.

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It's a shoulder, not an ass. The man is not shitting on the baby. That asshole is his ear.

tfw I'm 20 years old and the realisation hits me that my life has yet to beegin

All women are hookers. Sounds edgy but you'll keep beeing disappointed until you realize this is true.

The underage ones aren't.

You deserve to be raped by your mom

Oh, the good ol' days are gone my son. We are in hell. Degeneracy is real. It's here, it's now. Maybe if you live in the Altai Republic or in a cabin in the heart of Transylvania, you can escape the immediate heat of western decay, but not for long and definitely not necessarily because there is no place on this earth that is free from "civilization" at this point in time.

Personally, though, it's only the child abuse aspect of it all that really bothers me. Trannies and faggots cannot care for children in the way normal couples can. Gays and lesbians should not be allowed to adopt; I don't care if they get married if that makes them happy, but the truth is that it doesn't make them happy because it isn't marriage they want. It isn't equality. It's the harsh truth that they don't know what they want and that is why they will never be satisfied.

FIX THE SITE SHITWHEELS

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He's 38 y.o. and never kissed a girl.

Pack it in pal. You're both fucking losers in your own way.

Nigga you, and OP make the holy trinity of failure. All we need to do now is find a fourth and we've got the political compass of failures on display right here in this thread.

DYU NYEED A FOUWTH?! i AM GUD WIT COOKENG!

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Man up.
Go to the gym, get bulked.
Go to museums, art installations, classical music venues.
Become a superior specimen and take charge.
They will flock to you but only if you stop acting like a cowardly faggot.

I'd welcome it.

I'll always be younger than you, you'll never take that away from me lololol

No,it will stay the same tbh fam

dubs confirm the presence of faggotry

Yeah, IKR

Maybe it will, maybe it won't. We'll just have to c ;)