So I'm fucked. Literally beyond fucked, I'm just done. I get wasted and post on here a drunk and fairly BS version of events that feeds my addiction just a little bit more but then call it quits and sleep after deleting all the accounts that I messaged her on apart from snapchat, hopefully that being enough to keep me safe.
And then I wake up the next day. Spend like an hour just staring at my phone at first before "14yrold is typing…" pops up on snapchat. Sigh of relief, it's all going to be fine. I'm safe.
The "typing" stays for a while but then goes away, no message sent. Half an hour passes and then "typing" pops up again… okay… slightly concerned now. I check contacts and settings and I see she's not on my contacts any more. Typing stops and don't hear anything anymore, realization dawns on me of what this probably means and I delete my snapchat account, but it's probably too late.
I start drinking, 11am it may be but whatever. Rest of the day goes by in an alcoholic blur combined with me wiping messages and deleting everything I can think of and securely erasing my phone and all my hard drives and everything I can think of. It's all probably for nothing. Go out, get drunk with friends, give them a very vague and much more innocent version of the story in which "I dun du nuffin officer, she just tried to seduce me".
Wake up today… still not heard from her. I'm holding onto hope that all this means is the phone is locked away somewhere (holding onto ANYTHING at this point). My anxiety is fairly manageable and for the most part… I'm okay.
Then I see on facebook, 14yrold shared a meme! Oh fuck, she has her facebook back, I'm safe, I just need to talk to her and get her to share her apple user ID/whatsapp ID and then I can delete the accounts and all evidence is gone and I'm free!
Send her fairly safe message: "hey, did you have a good party the other day? :) ". Even if her mum's on her shoulder this will look fine.
Oh.jpg
She's blocked me from messaging her. But not blocked me as a friend. That means that she's not allowed to talk to me anymore, but while trying to give off the appearance that nothing is wrong.
So… I cannot think of a single situation, where this works out okay for me. I'm fucked.
And here I am Holla Forums. Drinking again and contemplating the best way for me to kill myself. 3 different pharmacies for paracetamol and a bottle of the best vodka I can afford is looking like the best option right now.