I Need A Lawyer To Plan Out My Suicide

Destroying this computer would be a terrible crime when it could make a NEET very comfy until he's ready to off himself like me.

Looks guys, the #1 most important reason I need to talk to a lawyer, is to make sure I get euthanised / I DO NOT HAVE TO BE A VEGETABLE. Euthanasia became legal in Canada not too long ago.

equalitycanada.com/
deserves your money. They support mens' rights.

OP confirmed troll.

hahahaha, OP was caught

b-but I have hated on egalitarians my whole life

No, it is real, screencap for proof. Btw, gonna write my manifesto, that's why I've got that shit up on the right. I'm going to make Holla Forums proud you'll see.

Donate your money to a pro suicide group.

Ok how do I do that?

We better archive this shit justin case

Looks guys, I just need a fucking lawyer:

1. I want to make sure I get euthanised if my suicide fucks up.
2. I want to make sure my family that I hate so much gets nothing.
3. I want to make sure I don't get buried in the family grave with the rest of my family that I hate. I would prefer my corpse be left to rot where I am slain or dumped in a forest or fed to seagulls or something. Fuck burial, preservation, funerals, and cremation.

Find one, see what forms of payment they accept, and donate (usually a good amount of money and a phone call to a group will oblige them to find a way to accept the money). You'll have to do some searching to find one, and when you do just do what I said and you'll be set (broke). Leave enough money for any supplies you might want for your desired form of suicide, and do your research so you don't fuck up and go full vegetable.

You know those christian thrift stores?
Well, they take donations for the poor and they also run soup kitchens and cheap 1 night bunks for people on the streets.
They're basically the only establishment that does as they say. And thats help the poor.

Who gives fuck about your gay little stocks. Leave the money in there then, you'll be dead anyways, fuckwad. It'll turn into thin air once they crash

You HAVE to be a troll.
Or you really are stupid, aren't you?

They help the poor, but their 'free" meal comes with a heavy, obligatory, serving of Jesus

I have provided all of this for information purposes only and by giving you this information and mere example I reject any and all responsibility for any and all damages to persons or property, including loss of life.

Who gives a fuck.
I had to go to church before and I just let it go through one ear and out the other.

Like someone starving to death gives a fuck about that.

How about the money goes to them when I die? I want it to just be in my will "all my stocks go to x after I die".

As a matter of fact I am very ignorant and damaged in a lot of ways so I really don't know what I'm talking about much at all.

join a militant group, die in combat, live the human experience to its fullest.

Check out my top-of-the-line linux image editing OC.

Here.
Leave the money in stocks, they will crash eventually and your money will turn into thin air.
Burn your house down with all your money inside with everything.
DESTROY EVERYTHING. Or donate to the salvation army.

Go into some remote woods and overdose on heroin and some animals will come eat you and you'll decompose.
If you survive the heroin, you wont be a vegetable. But I doubt you'll survive an overdose anyways, since YOU CAN'T.
Any questions?

Tried, was rejected, due to my shit health.

It plays Ark Evolved and Unturned 3 and Dota 2 just fine.

No idea where the fuck to get heroin and I am the ultimate nervous autist who can't talk properly to people at all and nobody will take me seriously.

which one was it man,

Gibe all your money to the Clinton fundation.

:^)

You could give it to them while alive, and keep what you need for supplies for suicide. If you want to donate via will (less secure - try to do this while alive), then do your research, because I'm unfamiliar with canadian law. If you want it bad enough, you will.

I have provided all of this for information purposes only and by giving you this information and mere example I reject any and all responsibility for any and all damages to persons or property, including loss of life. From this point on, this applies to all posts made by me, and doesn't need to be mentioned to go into effect.

You know what's sad? Random people you've never met are being more helpful and sincere with you then you own family. The most searched for things online are love and friendship online. You escape here, and so do others, when they want to hide but don't fully want to die. We go here, because this is the only home we've known. Hey, here's an idea - spend your money on an automatic will site. Make it free by donation. Make it able to globally make wills for any nation it's permitted in. That would really fuck with families trying to keep their older relatives at bay just to collect money. Or just spend it on the first thing that doesn't look like shit, have enough left to choose a preferred method of suicide, and say adios.

Pay someone to find some for you, or some junkie. It happens.

Or, you can use a helium exit bag or get creative.

Helium exit is a painless procedure.

nigga, the universe will end the moment you end it all. you're just stalling anyway. everyone here knows you're a coward who's looking for acceptance and people who will try to talk you out of this

however, on the off chance you really want to do this, look into using a buddy system. that's all i can say for legal reasons, because, unlike you, i'm not a gutless coward who can't face the hard knocks of misfortune. there are people with way worse sob stories who, nevertheless, find the fortitude to soldier on

the fuck is wrong with this nigga?

Exactly.

OP, you're gonna die anyways.
Just fucking do it already instead of dancing around the bush for attention.

If you don't follow through then research legal means like wills and the like to keep your family from it. Good luck and don't let the world's assholes spoil the broth for you.

leave a suicide note. its a legal will and has to be respected and it will save you the hassle of paying for a lawyer

Try joining the the French Foreign Legion, unless you are a ham planet.

only if it exists…

if it's found and discarded by someone, who is to know it ever existed?

happens all the time

just dont die man, cause thats like, really bad and stuff you know. its bad to die, so dont be bad guy.

If you leave this life, you'll be forced to repeat it over and over until you face your mistakes and learn.

Suicide is not the way out, its only a reset button. Every time you use the button it gets harder. Imagine how many times you've potentially used it already. Do you really want to double down on your hardship? You'll just throw away years of your life, and make your next life harder.

not true, because he will have accumulated too much negative karma by his actions. actually, he'll die, then find himself in a forest of tree made entirely out of razor blades and white hot coals on the forest floor. he'll suffer unspeakable pain on his feet which will have become exquisitely sensitive, so he'll be compelled to climb up the razor trees, which will cause an entirely different level of agony, so he'll leap back down to the ground and the cycle will continue over and over again for countless eons until his bad karma is entirely balanced out.

either that, or nothing happens. not really sure.

Both of you are may be right, but also wrong at the same time.

The point is, OP. Death is only the beginning. Only very few know what to make of it when going in.

Death will come and smash your life force until it is breaking apart, feeling the crushing and weight, breaking you down into smaller and smaller pieces, expanding into this unknown.

Do acid and DMT first. Spend your money on bitcoin and order domestically.

…and then…and then…

you become a god

In our own ways, yeah. But at the same time, no.

Its all very abstract.
At least the death I believe in

[citation needed]

Canadian Military.

IF you spent the same amount of time fixing your problems than you do making up bullshit psychological problems then you wouldn't want to kill yourself.

I sliced myself up, I hanged myself, I drank hydrogen peroxide, I strangled myself again ut with a "guaranteed" method from /suicide/ and it still fucked up, I've electrocuted myself, I can't seem to kill myself at all. I've een trying now for a few weeks to provoke random people and even police into killing me and it hasn't worked out. I'm going to have to keep trying different methods or comination-methods until I get something that works.

It's only yesterday though that I ecame aware of certain things that made me want to get a lawyer concerning what money I do have left and there's also the I don't want to ecome a vegetale thing, I want to e legally set up so if I fuck up yet again, I get euthanised.

I am a tall thin skellington and I have a variety of things going on that disqualify me including open racism and involvement in white supremacism, having een in psychiatric ward, eing suspected to e a paranoid schizophrenic, having food allergies, having severe insomnia, muh severe depression (who the fuck isn't depressed these days?), ETC.

You're just like one of the various spirits I talk to saying shit that contradicts other spirits and people. Noody, dead or alive, emodied or incorporeal seems to really know what's going on ut I have a pretty good idea of it myself I think. You got to give me some really good reasons to elieve what you're saying.

No fuck that and fuck all druggies. I lost 7k on some addict stealing from me and eing fucking irresponsile and cruel.

lol

Oh tw I've overdosed on two different kinds of sleeping pills starting 3 hours ago and yet I'm still awake and typing this thread. I spent $25 on all these pills and they ain't doing shit. I think my ody suconscious is perhaps so intelligent I can put any poison into it and it will just somehow prevent it from doing anything at all to me.

...

Can I get your shit op

I'm in Canada

okay I actually read the thread now

Look up a local legal agency and literally just ask the first person who deals with wills. They deal with this shit all the time. They may refer you to a scumag, ut it'll give you some ideas and a place to start.

I highly recommend you read some studies, rah. There are drugs and there are psychedelics. No one gets addicted to psychedelics. If you don't see the ojective eauty in them, you'll proaly not want to take them again, and if you do, it'll take two weeks efore you want to do them again.

No neurotoxicity, no addiction, no physical dependancy, no POTENTIAL for addiction (the acute tolerance lasts for aout a week or two, making the drug useless efore enough time has passed, implying you'll want to take it again soon).

What the fuck do you have to lose? You're seriously still clinging onto the "druggie" stigma when you're aout to off yourself? Yeah, you truly are a weakling. I was the only one ITT with truly and sincerely, informed advice.

Do it.

that's funny. where i live people get it right the first time a6out once a week out on the railroad tracks

you must 6e really unlucky

No fuck that. It's not fucking spiritual, it doesn't grant you any kind of insight, it's ullshit. I knew someone who kept taking exactly the shit you're talking aout and those fucking mushrooms. It turned her into a psychopathic itch was all it did.

Really fucking unlucky or lucky depending on how you look at it. A lot of people after fucking up a fairly serious suicide attempt always get etter ut not me.

I feel like I'm swooping in like a vulture, ßecause I am. You should leave some of your money to this faggot right here. I'll use it to develop a vapid puzzle moile game with micro-purchases. Then use the profit from that to fund my run for local government, and form a cult on the side.

All as a means for the South to rise again, which in turn is all a means to distract myself from how empty I am inside.

There's a lot more steps, ßut you know.

Also, and regardless of the aove, I'd like to see your manifesto when it's done.

Also, make sure you chose an executor for your will, like a lawyer, the ßank, or an accountant, otherwise your family could get control of the administration of it, and defy your wishes.

You definitely want fill out a DNR, which will help with the not ßeing a vegetale part.

You proßaßly want an account, as opposed to a lawyer, ut I'm not 100% sure on that one.

yeah, well noody in my area who stepped in front of an express morning commuter train travelling at 80mph was unlucky enough to survive the impact

in the end, i really think this is an issue of commitment vs luck. anyone who survives a suicide attempt clearly isn't committed and only seeks attention to distract themselves from their own weakness and insignificance

Well, die unenlightened then.

The millions of fucking retarded boomers and stupid af women that have already taken those psychedelics you've mentioned aren't enlightened at all.

stop necrobumping your lame thread, troll

Give it to the EFF.

welp I think I found something in my area, not sure if they deal with wills, but I may as well go there and see if they'll help me

OP don't do it, live has so much to offer.

Life*

You mean *rife*.

I found a lawyer thing but I am not sure they can help me or not. I also just called a suicide hotline and got another number.

Good news!

OP, I just paid a very reliable source to put a death hex on you. You'll be contracting an incurable form of brain cancer before the month is out and we're just away days from that!

So, even though you're just a cowardly faggot who can't peel his fat, sweaty, pimple-covered ass off his cum-stained chair to actually do something as decent as killing yourself, I took the liberty of ensuring that you die anyway.

Enjoy the ride, faggot!

Does it bother you that I know how that works and I know how to counter it?

You can't counter what you don't know…there are many forms of magick and if you don't know at least what style of hex you're dealing with, your counter-measures will be useless.

Sorry, OP, but I realize you thought it would be a cute little troll to divert your attention from your own inner reality, but you're actually going to die painfully very soon. That's just how it goes on the internets, m8!

You have been visited by the Fresh Fish Worm Man.

You will have sweet dreams but only if you say "why the headaches Fresh Fish Worm Man?"

vegan here

You could be missing out on some fresh fish brain worms user. The tickle that never stops…

Well user, the only problem I have with what you're doing is that I want my heart to stop or I want to bleed to death or something. The idea of my brain being damaged and making me less lucid as I die bothers me too much. Anyways, I got hunted down in the astral today and last night, trapped in some fucking room with foil-like walls, and some ghoul-like thoughtform unleashed on me. Next thing I know I have the most intense fucking headache the rest of the day. However I figured out a way to counter it after suffering about half the day through that.

…and you know, whatever he does, I can follow it back to him.