I'm not satisified at all with where I am at. I am impressed by my own ability to get up in the morning, but I struggle often with depression and hopelessness.
My health is slowly failing. I have put my body through hell and now it is a broken shell of what it once was, however I am getting better even if I do suffer from disabling injuries that have shaped the course of my life. I can't do all the things that I used to be able to do, but I'm still able to do much more than most people with similar injuries to mine.
I have no career, I just can't see myself working for someone else, and when trying to work for myself I am overwhelmed by the gravity of the world weighing down on me.
I have no relationships. I have no friends beyond my immediate family and my fellow Holla Forumsacks. This is torturous for me, and I need to improve here.
My finances are poor. I have a few thousand in debts, no assets, no job, and no viable means of income at this moment.
I would say my spirituality is strong. I have a strong set of ethics and values.
I am very emotionally mature. As depressed as I may get, I know I can handle anything life throws at me
What makes me happy is being in love with a woman, Holla Forums, working on the farm, and helping push my dreams further along. I love to play music.
The drains in my life are worrying about the past, seeing women I love and could have saved fall to degenerate ideologies, seeing my people being genocided, and worrying about the future.
I have a difficult time staying committed to one thing, my interests jump around often, and I have a problem staying focused.
My health is better than it was last year, but it's not what I would hope it would be by now.
I can't figure out how to earn a living without becoming a slave, and when I do my dreams are filled with doubts and worry by my family
I feel so much pressure not to fuck up that I don't even know where to begin, I over-analyze things, and as a result I quit before I can reap the fruit of my labors.
My ideal life would be living on a homestead with a beautiful woman, a lot of children, and no worries about being able to get food or becoming homeless or losing my people to the hell that is going on in our nations now. I wake up in the morning holding her, get up and tend to the animals while she cooks breakfast, eat, work on the farm with the boys while she works on the house with the girls or helps me with the garden, eat lunch, work some more on the farm teaching my children how to be self-sufficient in the process and letting them experience a beautiful, peaceful childhood. Go home, kiss my wife, eat dinner, spend time with the kids teaching them everything from math to history and economics. Put the children to bed, talk with my wife about anything/everything under the sun. Get on Holla Forums for an hour or so and do my duties of destroying communism throughout the world, then lie with my aryan wife.
Weekends we'd go to the farmers market with our wares and sell what we can, buy or barter for what we need, then take the unsold fruit/veggies/grains to auction.
In my freetime I'll have a range of hobbies from blacksmithing to wood working to politics to studying science and religion.
I need to find a traditional woman I can love and redpill
I need to get a drivers license and a vehicle
I need to start growing food for market
I need to meet with local Holla Forumsacks and develop a 'mastermind' group so we can all support each other with our seperate skills for not just our personal, but our community and political goals as well.
I need to stop letting fear of failure stop me from trying.
I need to accept the fact that I cannot stop everyone from falling to degeneracy and realize that while yes some of our most beautiful women have been lost forever to marxism we still have many who are begging for our protection and guidance.
I need to quit the nicotine jew.