REBIRTH #1

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Johns writing really makes me ill. I can't understand anyone who likes this crap.

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Nothing quite says "NO HOMO" like two crying men hugging in skin tight costumes surrounded by electrical jizz.

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DUN DUN DUNNN

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Of course, what event is complete without ads.

3 Jokers…so, nu52 Joker, Killing Joke/Bronze Age Joker and the other one might be Silver Age?

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since that is some awful art. Also, it isn't Bronze Age Joker. It's Rust Age. They're clearly separating out TKJ Joker as a separate Joker.

And that's it.

If you could imagine how deeply I'm not looking forward to this, it'd make the depths of hell look like a shallow puddle.

Please, Johns. You fucked up with Flashpoint.

You know what would be nice? If the villain of the event is basically Geoff Johns.

That would be ripping off JLU.

Wait…as in the Joker on the far left screen is the Golden Age Joker? Why?

So? Better rip off from the best. Besides, doesn't everyone wanted to see Johns getting punched in the dick?

Maybe they're planning to bring him back or something.

Didn't he die in his debut story?

Are you retarded? Everyone knows Editor Whitney Ellsworth saved him last minute. If he died in Batman #1, we wouldn't even have the Joker.

Oh…right, forgot about that little tidbit.

Events always suck. This is no exception.

Just to let you know, that's supposed to be Johnny Thunder, a comedy character that was part of the JSA.

DC just can't seem to leave him alone for some reason.

If memory serves, that's somewhere between Townsville and Villageton.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much exposition.
Nothing actually happened. What the fuck is this shit?

Thanks for reminding me of Jakeem Thunder, another casualty of Didio's editorial nostalgia tripping.

They should honestly suck it up and make an actual effort to ripoff Yes I know Johnny came first JoJo to attract its internet popularity.

It's how Geoff Johns fixes DC, by throwing in more melodramatic garbage and blaming the Watchmen like a petulant child.

ok so we have white and black wally in the universe now?

so its doctor manhattan?

FUCK YOU DC, DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY MEN WRITING FOR YOU ANY MORE?!?!?!?

That seems to be the implication, yes.

how does it go from 'create life somwhere else' to fucking up the DC universe?

They do. They are just betta cucks.

Fix'd that for you. None of these fucks can tell a story even if their lives depended on it.

Post yfw they 63d rorschach.

No. DC got rid of anyone with any worth during all the infighting around who was going to be the new CEO of Warner.

Right now, Geoff Johns is the only person at DC who knows somewhat about the DCU. Let that sink in. A decade ago, we used to have dozens of guys better than him running this shit. Now a twinkee snarfing autist who can't write for shit is the most powerful person at DC, in charge of basically all of it's media, from TV, to movies, to the comics themselves.

This is the worst possible time to be a DC fan.

Yes, though I'm certain white Wally is going to die fighting Dr. Manhattan, just like Barry Allen did when fighting the Anti-Monitor.

or Barry dies, Wally becomes Flash and black wally becomes kid flash

Barry won't die. He's got a fucking television show.

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Yup.

Said no one ever

Is that a stand user?

Technicality kinda.
Johnny came first. -

What I find interesting about this thing of "Creation Blue Hand" began in the 50's to explain and justify the existence of the Green Lantern Corps.
Because the Maltuasians, the oldest race of the universe, they decided to dedicate their lives to political and development of the universe, thus making the Guardians of the Universe?
Well, the explanation given was that ages ago one of them decided to investigate the origin of existence against the advice of others and in the experiment saw a blue hand creating the whole fucking thing, the hand of the Creator, but he in doing so created a connection between the beginning of life and the present moment that releasing something nefarious in the universe. Because of this great sin, the Malthusian decided to take over and repair this great crime committed by them and have dedicated themselves to helping the universe and its beings.
Already Watchmen was created to serve as a deconstruction of this whole thing superhero. What would superheroes really? Well, would be mediocre people like everyone else and even more fucked uo still. Reality sucks.
In the comic ironically we see Dr. Manhattan, as a child, reading a Superman comic. At the end of Dr. Manhattan comic part into space in order to create something more uncomplicated than human interactions.
If Dr. Manhattan fact created the "DC Universe" is based on his childhood heroes perhaps this explains the fact that there is "evil" in the "DC Universe". When the Malthusian, Krona tried to investigate the origin of existence he opened a link between the reality of the Watchmen universe and the fantasy of "DC Universe", contaminating the UDC with pessimism and violence of Watchmen reality.
Because that's what the publisher is trying to say, the success of Watchmen contaminated the future of the comic industry itself, giving birth to was "darkness" and "mature" of superhero comics.
After Watchmen superhero comics, especially DC, became more adult and violent. DC is riding this wave nonstop since 80 becoming increasingly edge. Publisher was not so before Watchmen.

Kinda surprised they made Wally white again.

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it was in the 60s actually
and Krona was originally trying to find the origin of the Malthusian race, not the origin of the universe. His time viewer device looked back too far

source: Green Lantern #40 (1965)

Jakeem Thunder was a legacy character, who inherited the pen and Yz, the genie that inhabits it, from Johnny Thunder.

Then Didio chucked Jakeem out the window to bring back Johnny, even though nobody gave enough of a fuck about Johnny to demand his return.

Hadn't gotten that far yet, so instead of being a race bended Wally, he's now cousin with the same name.

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Pretty sure it was in the original comics. The Reach came much later.

Not real men, no.

Folks, I think we're going to have to just accept the fact that comics are rekt for the rest of the decade and just stop reading them until things improve.

dc and marvel, yes. there are others we can read that haven't had the taint of sjws and shitty writing just yet.

Joker is Rorschach. Doctor Manhattan couldn't bring himself to kill his friend, instead he sent him into the capeshit universe, however that act drove him insane. Joker's obsession with Batman? Rorschach trying to reconnect with his only friend Nite Owl.

so the entire DC universe is just doctor manhattan's imagination?

Yep, Dr. Manhattan fan-fiction.

And like most of the fan-fictions, its shit.

You mean like in JLU?

That's stupid enoug that I wouldn't be suprised if they did something like that.

I'm kinda interested.

Shit.

However, I have an incredibly bad luck when it comes to the Hype. So, this comic will be a clusterfuck at the end of the day.

Is sad… but true.

user it already is a clusterfuck

The death of the Dc universe.

Decades of legacy and stories, forever gone.

Is a sad thing, and Marvel is on its way, too.

yeaaaaaaaaah!
uuuuuh

Please let this happen, I would have the biggest shit eating grin in the world if they did something this stupid.

But which Joker is Rorschach?

Not many, I'm afraid. As for me, I'll just be reading Dark Horse and Avatar unless they're stupid enough to go too far into Crazytown. If I see even one more repeat of that fucked up Anticrossed SJW horseshit, I'm mailing them a ziploc full of my diarrhea.

Fucking amateur.

Jesus, what a mess.

I haven't given any money to DC (or Marvel for that matter) for six years now and it feels Goddamn great.

Do you really have to ask?

Who does Rorschach look up to?

What profession does the Joker style himself as?

again?
they just did a reboot.

Why isn't Deadshot Black anymore?

Make sure to screencap this in case it happens.

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who would you trust to write this?

my nigga

son, i'm ready.

joke's on you, all of them

And Reddit would eat it up like they planned it all along…Fuck, Screencapped it.

And it was a train wreck, this one will be to. They may think they can get away with making a bunch of new #1s to drive up sales though

Welp, they really are out of ideas now.

They should have just brought in Jesus to punch some generic evil guy in the face and call it a day

what they should do to go full retard is have some jon ostermann segments where he does a bunch of allegory

I know..they should've just had every hero go to our Earth and drag Johns (and a bunch of other DC writers) kicking and screaming to face judgement for ruining their lives.

no, that would be copying deadpool, goyim.

Whats the outcome gonna be?
Will they return to pre52 dc by ending the story and bring back good writers or continue this bullshit?

The death of capeshit is a joyous event. We will finally be free of the spandex shit that has held this industry back for so many decades

its like poetry

But this has already happened repeatedly.

Of course they'll continue. Going back would mean going through the same kind of fiasco that plagued the early days of the New 52 again. Better to change gears and add some superficial fixes.

That is so retarded that it must be true.

Capeshit is the industry though.
All thats left is mediocre dark horse stuff, and dark/dry/boring euroshit.

Here ya are

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Wasn't the hand at the beginning of the universe revealed to be the Anti-Monitor in Crisis on Infinite Earths?

Aquaman is practically wielding a menora.

What? They have Hellboy, Baltimore, B.P.R.D., Empowered, Umbrella Academy, The Goon, Godzilla, Usagi Yojimbo, The Goon, and published many classics like Sin City and 300. Even their licensed stuff like The Witcher and Star Wars comics were at least decent.

Are you serious? Eurocomics are full of variety, and for every bleak story there is one that is light hearted and colorful.

why does it have to be so fuckign convoluted? just make it a normal trident

WHY CAN'T MANHATTAN DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!

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A caliphate?

JUSTice League

Reprints.

FTFY

Yes please. If this happens there's a good chance Alan Moore storms the DC offices and puts an end to this all.

Only hipsters like this shit

My god… I can't wait for Alan Moore to flip his shit over this and Grant Morrison to suck him off by doing Multiversity 2, where the shitty DC editorial are the villains again.
This is the definition of scraping the barrel, which is stupid, because there's so many stories to tell if they'd just let the universe start evolving and changing again instead of just rebooting it to cash in on movies, TV shows and games.

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has he made a statement at all over this? =

He will probably rehash his woe is me bullshit any day now.

Why everybody expects Alan Moore to say anything? If I recall correctly, he's never been fond of people needling him for his thoughts on current events, as if he actually follows the industry today.

I decided to check out Batman Rebirth #1 and Superman Rebirth #1.

Calendar Man is no longer just a really odd guy who plans out crimes according to the dates of the year, but is now some sort of mutant that ages with the seasons. He dies in the Winter and then is born again in the spring. His body becomes a withered husk, and then a younger Calendar Man crawls out of it, with slighter different DNA each time.

That is the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Oh, and that black kid who wanted to be Robin is getting a job with Batman being his partner. Batman says he's not Robin, but something else. But it looks like he's doing the exact same job as robin, so it's probably a thing where they don't want yet another Robin. Why does every single black man superhero have the EXACT same haircut.

In Superman Rebirth #1, Superman is dead and the Superman from Convergence, the classic Superman, is now Superman. Superman takes Superman's remains to the Fortress of Solitude to use the regeneration chamber that Superman used when he died. But it doesn't exist in this world, so Superman can't resurrect Superman and decides to become the new Superman. …Did you all get that?

Hold on now, you're telling me silver age Superman is Superman now?

Isn't he hilariously OP?

Nah, Pre-Flashpoint Supes is now Supes and Shirt and Jeans Supes is that?

I have no idea what he is even supposed to be. Its like a yellow cat?

whats the point of even having pre flashpoint supes if you draw him exactly teh same and give him a shitty new52 outfit instead of classic red briefs?

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Cause YT already done stole all da utha hair cuts frum da black man, yoo racis!

Um, that was FRIENDSHIP. Way different!

I thought a group of the world's strongest beings (and Batman) pulled him out with brute strength after he phased into the dimension that the Speed Force occupies.

Why do you think it's about friendship or some shit?

So Joker is secretly gay and wants to fuck batman is now canon?

It seems his name is Duke Thomas, and he'll be "Lark" instead of "Robin".

or the empty hand.
Or God.
Don't forget, Swamp Thing at this time was written by Moore

fuck off casuals

fucking kill yourself

A supernatural fairy messing with the seasons worldwide would have made a good Superman villain.

On the plus side.
Superman X Wonder Woman is no longer a thing.
Right?

I never liked the New 52 design. The entire thing being blue always looked dumb to me– like he's wearing a big union suit. There's no break in the colors. Most superheroes who have one standard color usually have some sort of stripe of color across the waist, like Flash. It's why the Man of Steel suit looks a little odd.

I know the briefs are a little played out in our nowadays where every superhero has to have some some sort of more easy to make for movies modern take on their costume– but I think out of all the superheroes, Superman should look like a more of of a rustic classic superhero, especially since it's pre-Flashpoint Superman. It visually cements him as the tried and true hero of justice and inspiration, despite his methods might be played out in our changing world.

It might signal that DC doesn't have a lot in the film if they're not gonna change the character to look like it's movie counterpart a little bit.

The thing that really pisses me off is that he has the briefs lines without the coloring. It looks like his underwear is showing through his costume and it looks bad.

That's Pre-Flashpoint Superman? Why can't they keep the Jordan Elliot beard?

Probably because they want Pre-Superman to look as much as Superman before. So it's basically just a character replacing another while changing pretty much nothing. The beard's gone, the briefs are gone, he looks like he actually got a bit younger too. There's really not much of a point to it and I bet nothing will come of it outside of newold Superman being really alienated because all of his friends are kinda not the same but are but sorta not.

It almost looks like he's wearing dark blue briefs over dark blue pants. And I don't understand the point of that at all. Just make it red.

It will hopefully be an interesting take on things. I mean, Alan Moore is never going to actually write Watchmen 2, because DC fucked him over too hard. And as long as we of course still treat Watchmen as what it was, a stand along work, adding everyone into the mix of modern comics odd to a very silly bit of fun.
But I hope it isn't a perfect one way street, Dr. Manhattan and his grim world shouldn't be the only reason the DC universe is overall darker. In our world, that turn towards a darker, edgier comic was going to happen, no matter what. People were getting fed up with the comic code, more people who grew up with comics were making comics and wanted them to "grow up" with them. They wanted a more adult Batman, they wanted heroes who killed, they wanted monsters, sex and violence. Decades of feeling the weight of Comic's Code was cast of spectacularly by other works, not just Watchmen. It was a time of excess, but I feel it was completely necessary. The whole artform wanted to be taken seriously and the 80s was a desperate, sometimes clumsy, cry for that. So I'd like if something in particular drew Dr. Manhattan to the DC universe, and gave him to the desire to meddle with it. Because so far the only implication is that Dr. Manhattan started guiding the universe around the time of Flashpoint. So maybe something a bit before that set this all off.

Why is everyone pretending to care about this all of a sudden when every Alan Moore thread for the past few years has hammered home the fact that he's a hack and Watchmen is average?

This is like Man of Steel all over again; people suddenly caring about Superman when they've been dismissing him as boring for over a decade

Is Holla Forums really that shitty when I'm not around? Or are you just trying to pretend try kids saying "shit's soooo overrated" is the normal, majority opinion? The thread isn't even that focused on the Watchmen, it seems you just want to sound cool but couldn't be bothered to have a point.

I thought the whole shitty robin war thing was because he had a huge boner for 'robin'. At least Tim kept Robin in the name somewhere

I'm down for the briefs coming back but I honestly felt this rendition would've made a much better Rebirth design.

It would certainly differentiate him enough from New 52 Superman to make it work, and would've called back to the kind of hero he was before.

Better they do it that way, make it a new sidekick role instead of just making a black Robin.

Why the honest fuck would you make someone bright yellow if your job is to sneak around.

Then again, Robin exists, so eh. Still tacky as fuck.

It's bright yellow because he's black

Probably this. Black people and Yellow is oddly common.

everything about that is terrible