Israeli Man Seeks Restraining Order Against God

Israeli Man Seeks Restraining Order Against God

An Israeli man has launched a campaign to stop God interfering in his life after three years of poor treatment at the hands of the Almighty.

The unidentified man submitted a restraining order request against His Holiness at an Israeli court on Tuesday.

He said that God had been bothering him for three years and that repeated requests to the police had been ignored, with the authorities only sending patrol cars to his home on 10 occasions and not taking his calls seriously.

Authorities eventually told the man to take out a restraining order against the Lord, he said, so he duly obliged at the Magistrate Court in the northern Israeli port city of Haifa.

“For the past three years He started to treat me harshly and not nicely. I complained to the police many times. The Israel police asked me to take out a restraining order,” the man said in the proceedings at the court, according to Israeli news site NRG.

God appeared to take note of the man’s complaints as the document of the court proceedings, published after the restraining order request, noted that He did not present himself at the hearing.

The ruling judge, Ahsan Canaan, threw the request out of court, saying that the attempt was absurd and that he should seek help elsewhere and not from the local authorities, The Times of Israel reported.

God was not immediately available for comment.

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He misspelled G-d

Here in NY, you'd be lucky to get one car sent there for calling about "god" harassing you.

God's the one who should get a restraining order against the Jews. Especially after that little incident at Calvary.

Here if you call the police because God is harrassing you, they come to your place with an ambulance and send you straight to the Psych Ward for a couple days.

Pic's a little inaccurate, they defeated Jesus too (threatened to chimp out if the Romans didn't crucify him), and obviously they hate Hitler a lot more.

There are people they didn't defeat, though, like Hadrian.

Jesus wasn't defeated fam

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ayy you can't make this shit up

He was. They killed him and even managed to get the goyim to follow the new martyr's universalist religion.

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They persecuted and cursed it until this very fucking day you low-effort shit shill.

The entire point of Christianity is specifically that the Jews failed in their attempt to kill Jesus.

When you hear a yid talking about how in Judaism, Jesus died but is supposed to have stayed dead, it isn't like
it's

Christianity as far as the kikes are concerned is the story of someone who went around calling them the synagogue of Satan, evaded their attempts at capture for years, and then when they finally catch and kill him, he just comes back to life, tells his followers to keep spreading his message then ascends to heaven and sits at the right hand of God. Literally nothing you could think of would piss the kikes off more than this, it's a direct challenge to their power AND it's the most widely spread religion worldwide. It's no wonder they despise Christianity so much.

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Isn't there an attempt of american jews to surround their parts of town with a wire so that they can jew God out and do stuff on Saturday?

These guys would be comical if they didn't want to destroy Western civilization and engulf the whole World in communism and nuclear fire.

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If he was shinto, he could go to a shrine and get some amulets or ask other kami for help. but no, he is retarded as your average abrahamic idiot.

He allowed them to kill Him. He also rose from the dead.
You seem like you're either retarded or jewish.

don't forget in ass creed the evil templars use the cross as their insignia, which is the mark of Cain in the ass creed universe. kikes really are triggered by lines intersecting at a right angle.

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The Jews fell for Jesus' master plan which is why ever since then everyone tries to murder them

I don't really follow Newsweek. Is it one of those joke newspapers like The Onion?

Sorry kikes, you're stuck with your ugly looks and genetic disorders.

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I think you need to try again with the ancient egyptian gods, kike.

You know, when you and your cronies were fucking around with shit to try and rewrite history?

Wew. What a neat assertion! I won't ask you to prove it, but even if you could, how does that justify the colonization of Europe by shitty semitic religious cults and the total conquest of all finance by these same people?

Lol I can't wait until God kills them all.

bump

lol what. i guess jews will try to sue anything. even imaginary beings.

Or maybe you could stop being such a kike.

Just a thought.

No, they killed Judas.
Jesus is in Heaven, but he will return when the world is ending…
Probably soon?