An Israeli man has launched a campaign to stop God interfering in his life after three years of poor treatment at the hands of the Almighty.
The unidentified man submitted a restraining order request against His Holiness at an Israeli court on Tuesday.
He said that God had been bothering him for three years and that repeated requests to the police had been ignored, with the authorities only sending patrol cars to his home on 10 occasions and not taking his calls seriously.
Authorities eventually told the man to take out a restraining order against the Lord, he said, so he duly obliged at the Magistrate Court in the northern Israeli port city of Haifa.
“For the past three years He started to treat me harshly and not nicely. I complained to the police many times. The Israel police asked me to take out a restraining order,” the man said in the proceedings at the court, according to Israeli news site NRG.
God appeared to take note of the man’s complaints as the document of the court proceedings, published after the restraining order request, noted that He did not present himself at the hearing.
The ruling judge, Ahsan Canaan, threw the request out of court, saying that the attempt was absurd and that he should seek help elsewhere and not from the local authorities, The Times of Israel reported.
Here in NY, you'd be lucky to get one car sent there for calling about "god" harassing you.
Jackson Davis
God's the one who should get a restraining order against the Jews. Especially after that little incident at Calvary.
Kevin Bennett
Here if you call the police because God is harrassing you, they come to your place with an ambulance and send you straight to the Psych Ward for a couple days.
Gabriel Davis
Pic's a little inaccurate, they defeated Jesus too (threatened to chimp out if the Romans didn't crucify him), and obviously they hate Hitler a lot more.
There are people they didn't defeat, though, like Hadrian.
Blake Wilson
Jesus wasn't defeated fam
Nathan Rogers
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Blake Rodriguez
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Jayden Carter
ayy you can't make this shit up
Austin Cruz
He was. They killed him and even managed to get the goyim to follow the new martyr's universalist religion.
Colton Flores
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Austin Miller
They persecuted and cursed it until this very fucking day you low-effort shit shill.
Isaiah Adams
The entire point of Christianity is specifically that the Jews failed in their attempt to kill Jesus.
When you hear a yid talking about how in Judaism, Jesus died but is supposed to have stayed dead, it isn't like it's
Christianity as far as the kikes are concerned is the story of someone who went around calling them the synagogue of Satan, evaded their attempts at capture for years, and then when they finally catch and kill him, he just comes back to life, tells his followers to keep spreading his message then ascends to heaven and sits at the right hand of God. Literally nothing you could think of would piss the kikes off more than this, it's a direct challenge to their power AND it's the most widely spread religion worldwide. It's no wonder they despise Christianity so much.
Lincoln Gray
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Dominic Brooks
Isn't there an attempt of american jews to surround their parts of town with a wire so that they can jew God out and do stuff on Saturday?
These guys would be comical if they didn't want to destroy Western civilization and engulf the whole World in communism and nuclear fire.
If he was shinto, he could go to a shrine and get some amulets or ask other kami for help. but no, he is retarded as your average abrahamic idiot.
Juan Campbell
He allowed them to kill Him. He also rose from the dead. You seem like you're either retarded or jewish.
Nathan Phillips
don't forget in ass creed the evil templars use the cross as their insignia, which is the mark of Cain in the ass creed universe. kikes really are triggered by lines intersecting at a right angle.
Luis Baker
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Hudson Johnson
The Jews fell for Jesus' master plan which is why ever since then everyone tries to murder them
Jason Morgan
I don't really follow Newsweek. Is it one of those joke newspapers like The Onion?
Jeremiah Reyes
Sorry kikes, you're stuck with your ugly looks and genetic disorders.
Kevin King
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Elijah Ross
I think you need to try again with the ancient egyptian gods, kike.
You know, when you and your cronies were fucking around with shit to try and rewrite history?
Oliver Martinez
Wew. What a neat assertion! I won't ask you to prove it, but even if you could, how does that justify the colonization of Europe by shitty semitic religious cults and the total conquest of all finance by these same people?
Alexander Ortiz
Lol I can't wait until God kills them all.
Ayden Parker
bump
John Ortiz
lol what. i guess jews will try to sue anything. even imaginary beings.
Cooper Nelson
Or maybe you could stop being such a kike.
Just a thought.
Isaiah Carter
No, they killed Judas. Jesus is in Heaven, but he will return when the world is ending… Probably soon?
